Grandma's Feather Bed of Flames

By Shadowgate

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It had been just one night that Butters and his parents spent with his abusive Grandma. They were spending a two week vacation with her and Butters had a special surprise for his grandma.

Butters sang the John Denver Hit Grandma's Feather Bed during the trip to his grandmother's house. Well he only sang it once before his mom and dad threatened to ground him and spank him.

However one morning he went upstairs to see his grandma was still in bed. He said "grandma it's time to wake up because it's morning."

When she woke up she said "Butters how dare you wake me up before I'm ready to get up you disrespectful little shit head!"

Butters just giggled and said "oh you're cute when you're mad Grandma."

With that comment Butters Grandma pulled a knife from a shelf above her bed and said "YOU SEE THIS BUTTERS? I SLEEP WITH A KNIFE BY MY BED!"

Butters responded "oh Grandma you sleep with a butcher knife oh Wednesday and Pugsley Addams will be so jealous of me when they find out."

The bitchy old hag replied "oh that's another cute remark now get out of my room or I'll fucking kill you."

Butters said "if you think my remark was cute I'll bet you'll think it's super cute I put a container of gasoline by the end of your bed."

Butters Grandma looked up and said "WHAT!"

Butters lit a match and threw it causing his grandma and her bed to go up in flames.

Buttes ran out of his grandma's room and he sang "Grandma's Feather Bed of Flames! When I was just a little bitty boy I set my grandma on fire along with grandma's feather bed."

SUDDENLY HE WOKE UP!

Butters picked up his cell phone and called Nathan.

When Nathan said "hello" Butters said "I had that same dream again Nathan. You know the one where I set my Grandma on fire while singing Grandma's Feather Bed?"

Nathan laughed and said "that's awesome to hear you had such a wonderful dream the second time in a row Butters."

Butters said "yeah" and then asked now Mimsy was. Nathan replied "I imagine he's at home still asleep or having breakfast. Shit I'm not his babysitters so I don't know."

Butters said "I imagine sometimes you feel like you are."

Nathan said "yes Butters because life is tough as you know. You have an abusive grandma and I have to go to summer camp."

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I'd like to dedicate this to Kenneth Patrick Weatherwax.

9/29/55-12/7/14

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THE END