A/N I do not own Inuyasha and this story is just my 'revenge' fic. I'm currently working on Standing the Test of Time, but it's getting to be too 'cute and cuddly' so I started this fic and as chapters go on, I find myself more and more in a dark mode and we'll see how it goes as I continue writing. Enjoy!

Chapter One :..Dark...Death...Fear...:

Black and purple smoke spewed from the gaping wound of the demon Inuyasha and Kagome had tracked down and found themselves now fighting. It was a piece of Nuraku that broke off and survived the death of the evil hanyou who tormented Inuyasha and his friends for so long. Although the jewel was whole and Nuraku dead, he still had reincarnations that had some how survived and caused trouble around the land, seeking the shikon jewel.

Kagome had hit it with a purified arrow and Inuyasha did it in with a final blow with the testsuaiga. What the two hadn't expected was the toxic miasma that burst from the lizard demon's broken veins. Shippo had aided Kagome by becoming a bow for her after the creature snapped her wooden one with his powerful jaws. As the creature fell, Inuyasha found it surprisingly hard to breath. He realized that the toxins pouring from the miasma were powerful enough, it had killed the very demon that produced them. Panicking, Inuyasha searched for his friends and found Shippo passed out on the ground and was barely breathing. Chaos started to fill Inuyasha's head as the miasma started to overwhelm him and his only thought now was to find and save Kagome. His head was throbbing with rage as he realized the severity of their situation and his mind berated him for dragging Kagome into this mess when he knew they would be without the aid of the monk, Miroku and their demon slayer, Sango. Kagome had insisted, and because he gave in, she could very well be dead.

"Inuyasha?" Kagome's weak and hoarse voice broke through the dark cloud of gas. Inuyasha scooped up Shippo and moved in the direction of Kagome's voice. He coughed and stumbled, and almost dropped Shippo. He pushed his numbing limbs on, knowing he had to be near and he felt himself trip and fall foward. He landed on his side to avoid crushing Shippo only to see he had tripped over Kagome's lifeless body. They were laying in a puddle of the noxious blood of the half acid-eaten body of the lizard demon and the very stench of it was taking Inuyasha's consciousness away. Inuyasha reached out to Kagome and grabbed her arm as he began to black out. The last thing he saw was a pink light filling his eyes and then his world spun into darkness.

"Mmmm. Inu..." Kagome gulped and gasped as her poison filled lungs betrayed her efforts to breathe. She awoke slowly as her heart pounded a steady and mind numbing beat in her head. There was very little light around her and her skin was on fire. Her throat felt as if she had swallowed nails and her tongue was swollen in her mouth. She knew that she was laying on something cold and hard and realized she was in a small cave. Memories of the battle came flooding back to her as she remembered the dark cavern they had tracked the wretched beast into and how it had taken them by surprise and spat acid at them, thankfully missing the three by inches. The last thing she really remembered was kneeling in pain after she had lost sight of Shippo and gasping as her lungs sucked up poison, hoping for one trace of fresh air and when none was found, she threw up then passed out.

'How did I get here?' Kagome's mind cried as she realized she was now safe. She heard a pitiful whine come from her right and she turned her head slowly to the direction of the sound. Her body screamed in pain at the slightest movement, but she froze in terror at what she saw. Her arm was covered in claw marks and blood and a few feet from her, crouched Inuyasha with his back slightly turned towards her. She reached her arm out and let her hand land on Inuyasha's thigh, startling him out of a daze. He looked over his shoulder and Kagome saw tears in his eyes, but there was something different.

"What...happened." Kagome said barely above a whisper. Inuyasha didn't say anything. He bit his lip with a long fang and turned to show Kagome that he was cradling a lifeless Shippo in his arms. Kagome gasped in horror when she realized what had happened. Through the terror and possible death, Inuyasha had become full demon to save them all and despite his ability to get them to safety, Shippo had died in his arms. Kagome looked on in shock as Inuyasha held the kitsune as he would his own child and stroked his hair with long, pointed nails while he rocked gently on his haunches.

"I'm sorry" was all Inuyasha said in a deep voice as his demon red eyes rose to meet Kagome's brown ones. He looked full demon, purple stripes and lengthened claws and fangs, but he still seemed to be the same Inuyasha. Kagome's heart welled with sorrow as it sunk in that Shippo had died in his attempt to rescue her. He was so young and sweet, he didn't deserve this. Kagome cried. Her eyes burned with the fresh tears and her lungs went into painful spasms as her body wracked with sobs.

Inuyasha gently placed Shippo in her lap as he picked Kagome up and put her in his lap. He held her to him as she cried for her fallen companion. Inuyasha decided to let her just cry for now. He had to explain his transformation but at the moment it wasn't important. He sat there with Kagome, wordless and just held her while she held Shippo, until she fell asleep from grief and pain, then he set to work, wrapping the kitsune's body in leaves and placed the bundle in Kagome's bike basket for the return to Kaede's village were he'd be laid to rest.

'Damn you. You were too weak to protect them. The kitsune is dead now, but what about her? Because you were too weak, she could have died too. You should have permanently taken this form right after the jewel was completed. Shippo would still be alive now and she wouldn't be in such a bad state. Damn your humanity.' Inuyasha's mind berated him. "I won't be that weak again. I will protect what's mine." Inuyasha grated out in low tones as he growled at the thought of losing Kagome. He found he was being surrounded in absolute fear of losing the girl that he had protected for so long and therefore started to feel jealousy take place. He decided that it was his sole responsibility to keep her safe and alive and his new form would allow that to be so.

"Kagome, tonight you sleep, tomorrow, we talk." Inuyasha said as he took guard at the mouth of the cave. He sat and watched the stars in the sky for a while, contemplating on his new situation and how to handle the new changes. He found himself feeling oddly possessive of the sleeping girl inside the cave, if anything even breathed in her direction, Inuyasha felt he would take action. Memories of how he wanted to protect Kikyo when they were younger plagued Inuyasha and when he found Kagome to be a closer friend than Kikyo ever was, only made that need to protect and comfort even stronger now that he was full demon. Inuyasha didn't quite understand it himself, with Shippo's death and his transformation came a new sense of companionship. Kagome and Shippo weren't just friends or traveling companions, they had become a family unit, a pack if you will. Even Miroku and Sango, Inuyasha felt them to be a big part of his circle as well. He suddenly felt bound to the mortals he called 'friend' and because he was now the strongest, he knew that it was his responsibility to be 'pack leader' and keep everyone safe.

"Inuyasha..." Kagome was dreaming. Inuyasha looked over his shoulder at her and sighed heavily. He knew that things will never be the same again, not just because of how he changed physically, but how his mind set was adjusting to the transformation. Inuyasha crawled stealthily to Kagome as not to wake her and watched her sleep. She was troubled in her slumber, her face contorted as she mumbled and then she'd relax only to be assaulted again. She cried Inuyasha's name again and then Shippo's as a tear slipped between her closed eyelids. 'She's reliving today's battle.' Inuyasha thought sadly. He instinctively leaned down and gently licked the tear from Kagome's cheek and she suddenly settled down and let out a light sigh. 'How did I know that would happen?' Inuyasha thought curiously when he realized what he had done. Becoming demon wasn't exactly what Inuyasha had expected.

Again, Inuyasha found himself sitting at the entrance to their small cave, watching the sun slowly rise into the morning sky. He knew this was a new day to a new life and Inuyasha hoped that it would bring some fortune.

"Inuyasha? That you?" Kagome asked with a rasped voice as she woke. She was half sitting up but was in far too much pain to make it further than that.

"Are you going to be okay?" Inuyasha aked back.

"I guess so. What happened to my arm?" Kagome was looking at the bruised and torn flesh that was her arm in disgust.

"You slipped from my grasp and I hadn't realized how sharp my claws are and I underestimated my strength. I'm sorry for injuring you. There's a fresh spring a short distance from here if you would like to soak your wounds, I can take you." Inuyasha said cautiously.

"That would be nice." Kagome gulped as she looked around the cave and with a lump in her throat, she asked simply, "Shippo?".

"There. He's cleaned and ready to return to the village. But I'm sure he'd want you to be cared for first." Inuyasha said gingerly. He was surprised at his new found tenderness. He guessed it was his new instincts to keep his friend calm.

"Thank you. Inuyasha, I'm sorry to ask, but could you carry me?" Kagome asked with a small blush on her cheeks.

"Huh?" Inuyasha had already figured that would be the plan. He could tell Kagome's body was wracked in pain and hell if she could think about standing let alone walking. "Of course." Inuyasha picked Kagome up and carried her swiftly to the fresh water spring that he spoke of. The water was quite cool and on any other day, Kagome would have held out for a hot spring, but with her current condition, the cool water felt good on her abused flesh.

"That arm doesn't look so good. We should have Kaede take a look at it." Inuyasha pointed out the fact that the cuts on her arm were swollen and had a purple tinge around them. He was worried that they might have been infected when he scratched her with his poisoned-blood soaked claws.

"It looks nasty, but it really doesn't hurt that much. I just want to soak in this water a while longer." Kagome mumbled sleepily as she sat fully clothed in the cold water. Her eyes fluttered closed and she went limp against the embankment and was about to slip under the water if it weren't for Inuyasha catching her before she could do so. Her skin was hot to the touch, even in the cool water and Inuyasha knew instantly that she had a fever. Inuyasha could smell the infection and exhaustion rising in waves from Kagome. Her body was overworked from fighting the poison in her body, the exhaustion from surviving the battle alone and then the emotional slam from seeing Shippo dead, it was truly too much for her to handle and now she had taken ill. 'I'm sure my sudden transformation didn't help any'. Inuyasha rolled his eyes as he realized this was to be expected, but either way, Kagome was still in very real danger and he had to move quickly to get her back to Kaede and on the road to recovery. He stopped by the cave and picked up the bike that served as a temporary hearse for Shippo and made his way back to the village, finding his new demon speed a real blessing.

"Damn it Kagome, don't you die on me now!" Inuyasha snarled as he ran, feeling Kagome's fever radiate from her body and her heart struggled to continue beating. She was sick and fading fast and this was driving Inuyasha into a break neck run as his one track mind kept repeating itself over and over again, 'don't let this one die too'.

"Kaede! Old woman, where are you?" Inuyasha cried as he burst into the hut, surprising Miroku and Sango who had sat down to a well prepared lunch.

"Inuyasha! What happened to you? What's wrong with Kagome?" Sango asked.

"Inuyasha? Why so frantic? Child, what happened to ye and Kagome?" Kaede asked as she emerged into the hut with a bundle of herbs.

"She's hurt. We were attacked by a miasma poisoned demon. We destroyed it, but at the cost of Shippo's life and my own humanity." Inuyasha said, his voice dull and emotionless. "Help her, please." He pleaded.

"Her wounds appear infected. I will do what I can. Inuyasha, ye should get some rest, ye looks like hell." Kaede simply stated. Inuyasha ignored the old woman's request and sat and watched her tend to Kagome's wounds. As she worked, Inuyasha explained to his friends how the events leading up to this moment unfolded. Sango gasped in horror when Inuyasha spoke of how the miasma choked him and how he had expected all three of them to die right there.

"How did you manage to turn demon and escape?" Miroku asked as he studied Inuyasha's features.

"When I grabbed Kagome's arm, the jewel slipped from her shirt and fell into my hand and at the moment, all I could think about was finding the strength to save her if I couldn't save myself." Inuyasha paused as he reflected back on the moment. "The jewel must have read my thoughts, because that's when I saw a light and my blood boiled over and this is what I turned into. I grabbed Kagome and started to run, I didn't expect my body to take off at such a speed and I almost dropped her and that's when I wounded her." Inuyasha examined his claws, they were still lightly stained from the miasma and he cringed.

"You didn't mean to. You can't blame yourself for this." Sango said softly.

"I sure do blame myself! Damn it, if I hadn't allowed her to come with me, Shippo would be alive and Kagome would be safe. Everything that could have gone wrong, did!" Inuyasha growled as he slammed his fist in the ground, leaving a small crater in it's wake.

"But if they didn't go with, were would you be?" Miroku asked.

"Dead, probably." Kaede said off handedly.

"I see, and Kagome would be devastated." Sango said in realization.

"Yes, either way, Kagome was going to be hurt. Buddha won't give us what we can't handle." Miroku stated. Inuyasha's ears drooped towards his head. Demon or hanyou, he could not protect her and being in his new form, that made him feel even more helpless.

"I need to be alone." Inuyasha said deeply as he abruptly stood up and headed towards the door. He paused and looked back and said, "Kaede, don't let her die" and walked out.

Sango looked quizzically at Miroku and asked, "do you think he'll be allright?".

Miroku nodded. "He's going to need some time to think. Shippo sacrificed his life, but Inuyasha sacrificed something more and he has to live with the consequence now. He need's to heal, otherwise I think he's going to be okay." Miroku smiled reassuringly at Sango and she sighed with relief, then another expression washed over her face.

"Shippo, poor little guy. I will miss him." Sango said sadly as she looked down at her cat-demon companion, Kirara. The tiny two-tailed feline mewed sadly as she understood the fate of her little play mate and cuddled up to Sango as she started to cry softly.

"Shippo, he truly died a hero and I think that's how he'll want us to remember him." Miroku stated as he put a hand on Sango's shoulder.

"I will see to it that the fox demon receives a proper funeral, one fit for only a hero." Kaede said as she finished bandaging the last of Kagome's wounds. "I've cleaned the infection out but she is still burning up with fever. I guess it's up to her now, I can keep her body cool, but she needs a strong will to live after this. Her soul is strong, but her body has taken quite a beating." Kaede washed Kaogme's forehead and watched as her fevered skin evaporated the liquid the instant it touched.

Out at the god tree, Inuyasha sat on a lower branch and thought quietly to himself as he stared at the well. His purple on red eyes reflected no emotion but he would visibly cringe when he thought of the times Kagome left through that well because she was angry at him for something stupid he did and couldn't admit to. Shippo would harass him to go apologize and bring her back so they can return to normal, but Inuyasha knew he was too proud and now he realized how much he took those times for granted. Instead of fighting demons, he would be fighting her when he didn't need to.

'Stupid human emotions. Irrationally thinking is a pathetic human emotion that I've suffered greatly from and now everything seems so clear and straight forward. I must admit I'm glad for the time I've spent hanyou. I find that true human companionship and trust is a rare find and yet I have found them in my human friends. Humans are usually so quick to mistrust and become suspicious, I guess that's why Kagome would over react when ever she saw me with Kikyou.' Inuyasha looked skyward at the thought of the dead miko. His demon instincts automatically told him to let go and move on and now it didn't hurt his heart so much to do so. She was dead and now he had Kagome who was more than alive, she was the first to really trust him for who he was and never asked him to become something he wasn't or didn't wanto to become. 'I truly care about what happens to her.' Inuyasha's jaw dropped in horror as that simple thought rang between his ears like a church bell. It was a long standing thought, but he pushed it back for fear of losing his past and future with the girl and now he hated himself for being so rude and indecisive towards Kagome. He's had her running around in so many circles that she ran herself into a ditch and it would take him to pull her out.

"Inuyasha, there you are. Come quick, it's Kagome!" Miroku panted as he stood at the trunk of the god tree. Inuyasha snapped out of his thoughts and his heart froze in terror. His heart told him to run to her, so without a word he bolted off the limb he was occupying and was gone before Miroku could catch his breath.

'Kagome! I'm coming!' Inuyasha's mind screamed as he ran.

A/N

Whew, okay, I'm ending it here. I hope this first chapter sends you in a loop. I'm in one of those 'moods' and I'm keeping this a 'guessing' fic. You can't assume where I'm going with this because I might decide to throw a wrench into the works and bring this entire story to a screeching halt. We'll see what happens as I write later chapters and what 'mood' I'm in when I finish. Bye now!

Sun Streak.

"I'm just one #&ing ray of sunshine, now aren't I" -my personal quote, I even have a bumper sticker on my car that says so.