Excuses And Obsession

It was quiet there, no sound in the darkness which was surrounding the building. No wonder to this nighttime.

You could say the premises would have a placid slumber.

You could say that, wouldn't you know that on the backside of the hotel there was a glimmering light. The apartment of which window was to the garden.

Light was flickering from a muted TV on the green area.

A person was seen behind the pane.

The person was moving in a restless step, with a mobile which was laying useless in his hand.

Ville Valo couldn't find any rest.

The singer was up on his mania walking through the room. From the ugly standard lamp to the also ugly potted plant. From one corner into the other.

But the display of his mobile was as silent as the whole day.

Why shouldn't it be like that?! Why should someone call him?!

His parents were long asleep and his brother wouldn't contact him that deep in the night.

His friends… no, not that time.

Damn, how should Bam only get the idea of calling him?! That was simply absurd and Ville should have known this.

Yeah, he knew this, but nevertheless he couldn't calm down, couldn't lay off the phone.

Ville was dropping himself unstrung on the bed.

How could he let this happen to him? Damn it! He was Ville Valo, the sexiest Singer.

The one who only needed to smile a little and all women of the world would lay down at his feet, probably the men too.

So just why Bam?

The crazy, chaotic, idiotic, Jackass Bam Margera? The guy with the cutest grinning and the blue- diamond -sky eyes…?

Tortured Ville rolled over his blanket.

He couldn't make Bam going out of his head.

Since so many weeks did he do everything: fucking himself through half the world, getting drunk as often as he could. No, nothing helped and all just because of a simply kiss.

After two hours on set, he was getting drunk a lot with Bam, they wanted to go for a walk to sober up a little.

It was on the way back the park, Ville thought he was sober at all, but he wasn't sure after this happened…

He couldn't remember how it was exactly, but suddenly Bam was laying in his arms and they came closer and closer and there was no sound but the beat of their hearts. And they came so close that they had touched their lips. And that Kiss was the most fantastic moment in Villes life. It was just euphoric and deeply peace in one, even the famous singer couldn't really describe it. Yeah, Ville never wanted to end it.

And then they returned to the hotel like nothing happened.

But something happened and for Ville it was pretty more than just something. For Bam obviously not. He was the one who first resumed to their cheerful, meaningless, silly conversation.

At first, Ville had satisfied himself by silly Apologies.

Something like: He was just drunk or he was crazy of being alone for so long.

Another simply idiotic excuse was Juska. Ville was dating him one day after Bam was gone. One day after this incident.

Ville had done this, completely convinced by having feelings for Juska.

Juska was really similar to Bam. Not only his physique and hair, also his type was nearly the same to Bams.

For almost three weeks Juska WAS Bam for Ville.

But one Night, when Juska was fallen asleep beneath Ville, he caught himself by comparing Juska to Bam. And it was more than comparing. When Ville looked at him, he hadn't seen Juska, he saw Bam. And that was the point on Ville couldn't ignore his feelings anymore.

Had someone said there were no feelings from Ville to Juska, it had been a lie. But his love to Bam, it was… It was just more…

You can say a lot about Ville Valo but not that he was a man playing with someone else, or even to abuse someone's feelings.

So Ville had to end the relationship.

At first he missed Juska but then there was another feeling.

Ville was so depended on Bam, he couldn't find himself without thinking of him. It was like Hell and much more.

Ville missed Bam that incredible much. He couldn't sleep, couldn't eat , drunk to much an missed Bam.

A Knocking on the door.

"Shut up, Mikko! I said I wanted to be alone!" Ville pressed his hurting had in his pillow.

But Mikko, his best Friend and guitarist seemed to not to go away. Ville heard the door moving and regretted not to locked it sooner.

"Please, Mikko, just go away, just want to lay here in my bed and lament about my miserable Life."

This seemed also not to work.

Sighing Ville turned around, laid now with his back on the bed. He opened his eyes and wanted to say something to Mikko to go him away. But there was no Mikko.

"Bam…" Ville breathed.

"Miserable life? Sounds interesting, tell me more."

Ville swallowed, a thousand questions shot around into his head.

Why was Bam here ? What did he want? Was it possible Bam being here? Did he just dream? Would you ask yourself if you dream into a dream?

"What the… how… why?" Ville tried to put it into words.

"I spoke with Mikko." Bam stood now right in front of the bed, Ville was lay down. "Really?" The Singer was totally aware the closeness Bam stood by.

His body almost shook by wanting the man in front of him. Not just caused of his sexual desire.

He wanted to touch him, hold him close in his arms and never, ever, ever let him go.

"Villa, you're ok?" He shouldn't ever stop speaking out my name on this completely wrong way… Ville thought with a glance filled with yearning to the man.

Ville swallowed again, not able to lose his eyes . Bam bowed down to lay his hand on Villes forehead. The singer could feel the shower running through his Body. Bam was so incredible close.

"Your skin is like fire, you're really ok?" Ville didn't listen, wasn't able to listen he was caught in an inside conflict.

Would he do that now, he would risk everything… the friendship, all the hours they were spending together laughing, talking, doing silly stuff… all the time… everything.

Was it worth this? Would he want this? Could he ever give away all this for perhaps nothing? Also Ville thought he knew Bam wasn't interested in men.

Villes green eyes where focused on Bams sweet, special bowed lips.

"Villa? Villa?" Bams voice became a little panicky, he must have asked for longer now. He bowed to Villes face, waving around in front of his eyes. "Villa? Villa!"

The one shook his head a little, sadly it didn't work.

All he ever wanted, all he could think of in the last weeks, all he dreamed of was standing right in front him now.

These lips, just a few centimeters away from his own … should he? Should he not? He would say it was because of the alcohol. This was a simple and usable excuse.

"Villa! Villa Valo! SAY FUCKING SOMETHING!"

Ville made his decision and did something he maybe would regret for the rest of his life. But even he didn't wanted to, his body hadn't permitted to leave this chance unused, his body, who simply couldn't help it, who needed it right now.

His arms hugged around Bam, his hands went slowly in Bams neck to pull him a little nearer.

His lips met accurate and exact them of Bam.

In Ville Valo all hell was broken lose, nothing seemed to work inside of him. Except his extremely fast beating heart, nothing seemed to exist except his lips and the man he kissed. The man, Ville was yearning all this time, the man, Ville was sure, who didn't kiss men.

Bam was totally surprised and stiffed for the first time, but after coming over the first shock he replied the kiss with fervor. Finally that was what Bam wanted since the first time he saw this green eyed, light skinned Fin.

Sensed hours later, they had to separate their mouths. Hot breath met Bams face, his eyes laid on Villes.

Anxiety flooded Villes Heart, he was so afraid that his idiotically desire had destroyed everything now.

Quickly he wanted to take his arms off Bams body, but Bam didn't want him to.

"Villa, I have to explain you something, something so important… you know, I know, that… that kiss means nothing to you…" Ville shook his head stunned, wanted to interrupt Bam. But Bam still didn't want to let him, Bam wanted to say these words now, before it was too late. "…listen, I know you expect an simple one-night stand from me, I understand you, but… Villa, for you it may be something you do because of alcohol and fun, well, I think it's not the same to me."

"Please, Bam…"

"No, listen, I'm so sorry Villa, but I have to say I love you, I loved you from the first time I saw you on stage, the first time I heard your voice. Villa I love your fucking complicated name and your skinny, sexy body and I fucking love all of you. Villa, I never loved men, I don't know how it came to, but suddenly you and… please, just forgive me and enjoy this night, please use my body as long as you want. Just… I don't know, just don't forget… I…. " Bam stopped, missing the words. He looked down and shame crawled up his heart.

"Bam Margera…" Ville said from deep his heart. "please, please never apologize for something beautiful. This sorry gives your words a kind of sorrow and I really don't like that. Bam…" Villes voice began to shake, filled with deep emotions. The words, so long held back, came out now with all the feelings for him.

"Bam, I love you."

Their lips met again and their tongues started hot fighting, playing around each one.

Bam let Ville throw him down on the bed and kiss every part of him.

Every touch was a wild fire flame, burning through their veins, the beat of their hearts seemed to be heard from the space. Every kiss was more than each of their feelings could stand.

Everything was absolutely perfect. Ville could feel Bam, every part of his body felt Bam, Bams lips, Bams hands. Soft moaning filled the room, filled Villes ears and made him feel so perfectly fine. Bam made him feel perfectly fine.

Finally, he felt his heart exploding and he screamed Bams name from the tops of his lungs. Bam replied with a loud moan and dragged him down by his cheeks to give him a deep kiss.

This is my first Story, in another language than German. I'm sorry if there are too many mistakes, please just tell me and I'll try to fix

English isn't my native language, so I have some problems with writing, I gave my best, but sometimes this isn't enough, so… I hope you liked it anyway