A/N- Hello again! This is a one shot, AU, of course, and based off the song 'Break Your Plans' by The Fray. The first time I heard it, I just fell in love. Then, as most everything does, it morphed into an idea for a fic. If you have not yet heard it, I encourage you to give it a listen. This is a first for me, my first attempt at angst, and I hope you like it. I spent a lot of time with Uncle Google, digging up information on the careers, but he can only tell me so much. Please go with it. Special thanks to Erica and RedAmbition, who both helped me work it out. They are the bee's knees.
I do not own Glee, it's characters, or any of the music used. This is purely for fun. Break Your Plans is written by The Fray, Joakim Berg, Carl Falk, Wayne Hector, and Rami Yacoub; not Rachel. As of today, BYP it has not yet been certified by the RIAA, which is a shame.
Flashbacks are in italics and not necessarily in order.
Break your plans tonight
Lay your hand in mine
There's no guarantee we'll make it, make this thing right
Break your plans for me tonight
How does he always get talked into this?
Finn Hudson waited as his friend Noah 'Puck' Puckerman turned in their karaoke card. They had been friends since playing football together in high school, moving to Columbus after graduation high school in the small Ohio town of Lima to attend Ohio State University together. Shortly after their first semester, the men had found 'The Bookstore,' a restaurant and bar that boasted karaoke and ten cent wings on Thursday nights. The first few times they had only gone for the wings, but Puck soon realized that the ladies love it when you sang for them. Ever the dutiful wingman, Puck insisted that Finn join him on stage every week, increasing his chances to take somebody home. The men almost always chose a classic rock song because it was something they enjoyed and knew that they could pull off.
When it was their turn, they took their spots on stage, microphones in hand. The music started up and they shared a reassuring nod before Puck began to sing.
I had a friend was a big baseball player
back in high school
He could throw that speedball by you
Make you look like a fool boy
Finn took his cue and began singing his part while Puck played the air guitar exaggeratedly on the other side of the stage.
Saw him the other night at this roadside bar
I was walking in, he was walking out
We went back inside sat down had a few drinks
but all he kept talking about was
The men sang the chorus together while the excitable crowd of college students looked on.
Glory days well they'll pass you by
Glory days in the wink of a young girl's eye
Glory days, glory days
Rachel Berry watched as the two boys, about her age, sang their hearts out on stage. It's clear that they lacked her training, but they were working the stage like pros. She found herself captivated by the extremely tall one as he fumbled around on stage. The other one, the one with the Mohawk, seemed to be a better dancer and he was fairly good looking, but the other one. Whew. Just looking at him up there made Rachel weak in the knees. There was something about the way his messy brown hair fit his overall casual appearance that Rachel found enticing.
Rachel had never been the girl that guys fawned over. Her time in high school was spent largely in her room studying and on the stage performing, leaving little time for dating, not that there was a line of potential suitors at her door. She loved music, in all forms, and spent her days immersing herself in her high school glee club, even writing a song or two for their competitions. When they performed her original songs in the large theater, Rachel knew exactly what she wanted to do with her life. She was a great singer and loved being on stage, but few things compared to the pride of having written the music that is brought to life on that same stage.
That's how she found herself in her sophomore year at Ohio State University pursuing a degree in music composition. She wanted to hear her songs on the radio, though realistically she knew she wouldn't be getting the glory that came with it. She would be receiving her praise directly from the incredible artists that would be giving her words life and living her life without intrusion. That's what she wanted.
Right now though, the tall, brown eyed stranger was adding a flourish of air drum for effect as he finished the last verse of his song. She clapped wildly as they exited the stage. She stood, ready to congratulate the men on a job well done, but she was stopped short when her name was called to the stage next.
Finn and Puck made their way back to their table, high fiving people along the way. They sat down just as the next person was called to the stage, but they were ready to eat the wings they had received before they went on stage.
"Check it out Hudson; every chick in this place wants me."
He took a long swig of his coke, rolling his eyes at Puck. "I'm sure, Dude."
"Did you not hear that? We were awesome." Puck drank from his own glass as his eyes wandered to tall blonde sitting across the room. "Bingo. I got one." He stood and took another drink. "See ya sucker. Don't wait up."
Finn chuckled to himself as Puck placed a ten dollar bill on the table and left him to go after the woman. Finn wasn't left with his thoughts for long before he heard the opening notes of one of his favorite Fleetwood Mac songs. He was surprised however, when he saw a girl on stage preparing to sing.
Rachel had never been more thankful that she had chosen a classic rock song. If she ever had a chance to impress the man who had gone before her, this was it. He obviously enjoyed that genre of music and this was her chance to show some diversity, even if he had never heard her sing before. That's what she liked about this place. It was diverse enough to attract people with all types of music tastes. Sure, she was singing classic rock right now, but an hour ago, she was belting a Broadway classic.
She lifted the microphone to her lips as she looked out in the crowd, hoping the man could see her.
Loving you
Isn't the right thing to do
How can I ever change things
That I feel
If I could
Maybe I'd give you my world
How can I
When you won't take it from me
Finn couldn't believe his ears, or his eyes, when the gorgeous girl on stage dominated the traditionally male song. She was unapologetic as she worked the stage with perfect vocals. She acted like she was putting on the show of her life, for whom, Finn didn't know. He chose to believe it was for him, blocking out the other sounds in the room as he took in the way her voice filled him.
You can go your own way
Go your own way
You can call it
Another lonely day
You can go your own way
Go your own way
When the last note was sung, the crowd erupted into applause and the petite girl took a well-deserved bow and exited the stage. Finn made his way to the woman, keeping his eyes on her as she moved further away from the stage. He watched as she took a seat at a small table and lifted her water to her perfect lips only a second before he was next to her.
"Excuse me?" He said timidly.
Rachel looked up, her glass still at her lips. Big mistake. The water shot from her mouth in surprise, wetting the unsuspecting stranger. She watched him step back and look down at his, now wet, shirt in surprise. "Oh my goodness. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to do that, you startled me." Rachel rambled, standing as she grasped the napkin off her table. She took a step closer to the man, dabbing at his shirt frantically.
Finn looked down at the small, seriously small, brunette who was wiping at his shirt. He gently placed his hands on her arm, stilling her. "Don't worry about it. Like you said, I startled you." She looked up at him, connecting her eyes with his. That was it. Finn was lost. He already felt as if he had a connection with this girl, but looking in her eyes, he knew.
Rachel froze as the man rested his hands on her arms. The electricity flowed straight to her heart and she hoped he was able to feel the inexplicable connection between them. She looked up into his eyes, loosing herself in them immediately. After a few moments, her mind registered that she was standing extremely close to a perfect stranger with her hand on his chest. She stepped back, missing the warmth of his close proximity. "I'm sorry, again." Her heart nearly melted when his lips turned up into a reassuring half smile, highlighting a dimple in his left cheek.
"Don't worry about it, again. I just wanted to tell you how great you sounded up there."
Rachel felt her face turn red at his praise, but she returned the well-deserved compliment. "You were very good too. You are very talented." She straightened herself up; mustering all of the confidence she could in the presence of the most perfect boy she had ever seen. "Rachel Berry." She held her small hand out to his, holding back a shudder when he took it.
"Finn Hudson." Finn gripped her hand tenderly, moving it up and down as he took in all the warmth her hand held. His large hand engulfed hers, but somehow it fit in his perfectly. It was then that he found his mind concocting a future with Rachel Berry. He briefly allowed himself to wonder if she would mind being called Rachel Hudson someday.
Finn stood in the doorway of the bedroom he and his wife had shared for more than two years, remembering the day he had met her. He watched in silence as she folded some clothing and placed it in the open suitcase resting on her bed. She wiped at her nose with her arm as tears flowed freely from her eyes, dropping to the clothes already packed into the case. She sniffled and let out a muffled sob and Finn's heart broke a little.
He never thought that their once perfect marriage would amount to this. He wasn't surprised to see her packing her clothing into the largest of the suitcases they had received as a wedding present. He hoped, though, that he could make her stop hurting. She sniffled once again and Finn took a tentative step into the room.
"Hey." He said softly.
"Oh uh. Finn." Rachel looked up at her husband barely standing in the room they shared. She wiped at her eyes, hoping to hide the extent of her crying. "What are you doing here?" She sniffled and looked away from him, steadying herself before speaking further.
Finn gestured to the half full suitcase and tucked his hands into his pockets, stepping into the room further. "What are you doing?" He asked softly.
Rachel sniffled once again as she stood in front of her dresser with her back to him. "I can't do this anymore, Finn. I can't be in this empty house while you are working all the time." She took a deep breath and placed a couple of small articles of clothing into the suitcase. She took a deep breath and chanced a look at her husband. "It wasn't supposed to be like this." She said shakily. She turned away from him once again, hoping that it would give her courage. "I'm going to stay at Tina's."
"Do you remember when we met?"
Rachel stopped abruptly, her hands holding a bundle of clothes from her closet, and she turned swiftly at his words. "What?" She blinked rapidly in confusion.
He smiled lightly, his lips turning up into that familiar half smile, though there was no mistaking the underlying sadness. Finn watched her place the clothes next to the suitcase on their bed. "The night we met, do you remember it?"
"Of course I do Finn."
He moved further into the room, watching as she began to remove a sundress from its hanger and fold it slowly. "That's the night I fell in love with you." He moved closer to her, sitting on the bed apprehensively. He took the next dress off its hanger and folded it gently, placing on the pile inside the suitcase.
"Finn? What are you doing?" Rachel was in shock watching her husband help her pack. She blinked back another flood of tears as he removed another of her dresses from its hanger. He held it up for the briefest second before folding it and placing it in the suitcase gently.
He took in a steading breath and couldn't help the smile that formed at the flash of memory of her wiping at his shirt in a panic. "That's the night I knew that I needed you in my life and I would do anything to make you happy."
"I remember. That was a good day." She held the dress she had just removed from its hanger in her hands and sat next to him on the bed. She, too, could not hold back the small smile that formed at the memory of their first meeting.
Finn clutched his hands in his lap. He knew that he could not look at her because if he did, his walls would crumble around him before he could fix this. "I think I already know the answer, but what changed?"
"Finn? What's this?" Rachel held up the letter addressed to her boyfriend, her smile as wide as can be.
They were now at the tail end of their junior year of college and they have been happily dating for a year and a half. Even though he was planning on becoming a high school music teacher, he wanted to make sure he had real experience in the music business. Finn had applied for a summer internship at Champion Records to get more real life experience in the music business. Hopefully it would make him a better teacher, one who could offer his students life advice that was useful after they graduated high school.
"Huh?" Finn came out of the other room, noticing the folded paper Rachel was holding up. A slow smile spread across his face when he realized what it was. "Did you read it?" He stepped closer to her, placing his hands on her hips as he began to tickle her. She squirmed under his fingertips, laughing loudly while he continued tickling her. "Did you read it," he teased.
She continued to laugh as she tried to answer him. "N-no. Fi-inn. St-op it. I did-didn't. r-ead. It."
"Are you sure?"
She squirmed more, turning in his arms, hoping to stop the assault on her sides. "I-I didn't. Didn't."
He stopped tickling her sides, turning his assault to her neck. "You want to know what it says?" He asked between kisses.
"Y-yes."
Her responses were still broken by her ragged breathing, but now for a different reason. Finn continued to kiss and suck at her neck, leaving no spot unkissed. He spun her around to where she was facing him, and lightly kissed her nose, pleased with how her eyes were still closed and she seemed to be trying to regain her composure. He waited until her eyes fluttered open slowly and she regained some of her wits before he smiled widely. "I got it." Her eyes went wide, taking in the words he had just said. "I got the internship at Champion Records."
"Oh my God, Finn! That's amazing!" Rachel jumped into his arms, pleased that he had caught her so effortlessly despite her surprised leap. "I love you! This is amazing!"
He kissed her lips again, lingering there while he turned them towards the hallway. "I couldn't have done it without you babe."
Rachel smiled as she looked up from the summer dress she was clutching tightly in her lap. "The day you got that internship, I was so happy for you. For us." She began to fidget, her mind wandering to a time when her and Finn were so blissfully happy.
"Not many people get an internship at a major record label right out of college." Finn reasoned. He knew that she was not placing blame on him, but he still felt the need to defend his decision to take the job in the first place.
She stood, hoping to still her frayed nerves and calm her racing heart. She still had no idea what Finn's angle was. She did know that, even though that internship had been the first stepping block to the current marital crisis, it was a good thing at the time. "No they don't. You deserved that position and when you were hired on full time, you deserved that too. You are great at what you do Finn. I think they know it too."
Rachel was always Finn's biggest fan, believing in him even when he didn't. Finn returned the positivity. Although he would occasionally lose sight of his own potential, his faith in Rachel never wavered. That's what made them a good team, never ending support in the other's endeavors. Even at the cost of time together.
"The experience has been good for me, I made good money, and I got to meet lots of great musicians." Meeting musicians was one of the perks of working with a record label. During his internship, he was able to meet many famous musicians (usually while fetching them coffee), and he created a reputable list of contacts for when he was hired on full time.
Rachel paced the small room while Finn sat on the bed. She was feeling the anger of all the missed dates and lonely nights brought about by the job and she hoped the pacing would help her to calm her frazzled heart. "Yeah, you are making great money, but at what cost, Finn? Can you honestly say that working all those hours was worth it? And where is that promotion you were promised? It's been years." She was beginning to crack and her arms flew up in frustration.
"Hey Herman Munster, what are you still doing here?"
Finn looked up from the pile of flash drives and cd's on his meager desk to see Champion Records CEO Sue Sylvester standing in front of him with a look of distaste. "Hey. Ms. Sylvester. I was just going through these demos for Mr. Johnson. He asked me to organize them for him."
The tall blonde woman eyed Finn behind the daunting pile and a slow smile spread across her face. "And you are working late just to stack a bunch of cd's? They were probably sent in by off-pitch teenagers who think that they will be played on the radio."
"Yes ma'am." He stammered. Finn wanted to tell her that some of these singers were really good and that they might actually make it someday, but Ms. Sylvester had an intimidating reputation and Finn was not about to jeopardize his future at the company by insulting the CEO. "Mr. Johnson had several meetings today and I was not able to do it earlier. I decided to stay late and get it done." He moved a cd from one pile to another. "That way we can start fresh tomorrow."
"Interesting." Sue shifted her weight from one foot to the other and crossed her arms in front of her. "Didn't you get married recently?"
"Yes ma'am," he chanced a glance at the small wedding photo he had resting on his desk, smiling at the still recent memory. "Six months ago."
"Like I care. What is interesting to me is that you are here when you could be home with her. I like that level of dedication." She strolled past his desk, arms still folded, with a smirk on her face. "What are you hoping to achieve during your time here at Champion Records? Do you like working in A&R?"
He sat up straighter, choosing to ignore her slight dig at Rachel and their new marriage. "I do, very much. I want to be an A&R manager someday." Artist and Repertoire, commonly shortened to A&R, is the select group of people at the record label responsible for deciding who gets signed on. They were responsible for basically everything having to do with signing up new talent until they were paired with a manager. Right now, Finn was working as an assistant to an A&R scout. He was mostly in charge of his schedule and making sure his days (and nights) ran smoothly. He knew that this was an entry level job, but one day wanted to be the one choosing and signing the talent. During his internship, he was able to work with the top A&R manager at Champion Records for a few weeks and he loved it. He even let Finn help choose one of the clients he had signed.
"Well, how about this, Gigantor? You want to be big in A&R?" She leaned over his desk menacingly, a devilish gleam in her eye. "Prove it. Mr. Evans had to leave town and is not able to go check out a band this weekend. We have already heard them and think that they will do well for us. What I need is for you to go down there and close the deal. Do you think you can handle that?" Finn gulped and nodded silently. "How about you take care of it for me since Mr. Evans is not able to go? You will report back directly to me. Understood?"
Finn stood as the implications of her words set in. This was his chance to prove himself to her and move past being an assistant. He knew he could do it. "Yes. Of course. I won't let you down Ms. Sylvester."
"You better not. Now finish sorting through those hopes and dreams. My assistant will send you the details and passes for the show tomorrow."
He finished sorting through demos with a renewed enthusiasm and left to go home. This was just the start to his future at Champion. If he was able to pull this off, he could be promoted and he could give Rachel so much more. He thought about the implications as he made his way home to their small apartment. The nerves began to set in as he opened the door, but dissipated slightly when he saw Rachel sitting at the table waiting for him, dinner on the table in front of her.
"Hey there Handsome."
She had clearly waited for him to eat and he felt a little bad for coming home so much later than he had hoped. He knew Rachel would understand and hopefully be proud of him for getting noticed by Sue as well. He went to her and swept her up in his arms. "Hey beautiful."
"What's got you so happy?" She asked, reveling in the feeling of him being pressed up against her.
He kissed her deeply, then pulled back and smiled. "I'm going to sign a band for the label this weekend." Her smile went as wide as he had ever seen and he kissed her again. "You want to be my date?"
"Are you serious? A&R?" Rachel knew that this was the job Finn was hoping for when he got hired on. The internship the summer before had been great for him, he found that he really liked working with new artists and decided to apply on a whim. Even though his degree was in music education, He chose to hold off on teaching school when he was offered a job at the record label. If it didn't work out he could always go back to it since he received all of his certifications.
"It's only a trial run, but I report directly to Sue." His excitement got the best of him and he kissed her again.
"I know you can do it, Baby. I'm so proud of you."
"Were you happy?" Finn asked. He was hesitant to know her answer knowing how things had gone since then, but he had to know. He had to know if he was able to make her happy at all in the course of their years together. He watched as her eyes misted over, then began spilling tears. He wanted to reach out and wipe them away, to reduce her pain, instead he watched as her lip quivered brokenly.
"You were the first boy who made me feel loved, and sexy, and visible." She said through tears. She had long since given up on trying to dry her eyes, choosing instead to let the tears fall.
"That doesn't answer my question. Were you happy?" He asked softly. Watching her cry was eating Finn up inside, but he had to have an answer.
"When you first told me about the internship, I was thrilled. It was such an incredible opportunity for you. I was so proud of you when you signed that band and proved to everyone that you were worthy of a position at the label."
"Were you happy?"
Her tears turned to sobs when he asked her again. She wrapped her arms around herself as if it would keep her from unraveling further while she tried to speak through her sobs. "It doesn't matter how much money you make or what your title is. It doesn't matter how rich, or famous, or successful either one of us become, it doesn't change that when it comes to you, I'm...I'm always gonna be that moon-eyed girl who spit my drink all over you the first time we met." They both smiled, despite the heavy feeling between them. "Sure, you were promoted to a scout, but you were promised more. You worked so hard for a promotion that never came. It never came, Finn. That evil woman has been promising things to you for years. Years. You have been working late and busting your butt for her." She hugged herself tighter, a poor substitute for the comforting arms of her husband.
"Were you happy?" He asked again, quieter this time.
Rachel sighed. Her sobs turned to anger once again and she threw her hands up in frustration as her voice rose. "Yes. I was happy okay. Blissfully happy and where did it get us?"
"Right here." Finn looked down at the floor in thought. That's what he needed to know. She was happy once and if she let him, he wanted to help her be happy again. Whatever she needed to do, he would support her. Even if it meant that she was leaving him tonight.
Dejectedly, Rachel sat on the bed. "Exactly."
"I now pronounce you man and wife." The officiate closed the book he had been using as a guide for the ceremony and smiled at Finn and Rachel. "You may now kiss the bride."
Rachel mumbled a barely audible, "Finally," then wrapped her arms around her husband. Her HUSBAND! Their lips met in a kiss full of promise and love in front of their family and friends.
Finn could vaguely hear the sounds of applause as he separated from Rachel. Despite the other people in the room, he only had eyes for her. He leaned in for another kiss, this one quick, and smiled widely at his beautiful bride. "I love you."
"I love you too."
The newly married couple each wrapped an arm around the others waist and they reluctantly turned to face their audience. The room's attention was solely on them as they stood there waiting for their cue to start the recession. Finn looked down at the beautiful brunette at his side and smiled.
He couldn't wait to start his forever with her.
Still seated on the bed, Finn wringed his hands together in his lap and looked over at Rachel. Her tears had slowed but still seemed to be flowing at a steady pace; even still, Finn couldn't help but think that she was still as beautiful as she was when they married on that bright summer day four years ago. "You were so beautiful that day. I couldn't wait to make you my wife."
"You were the most handsome man I had ever met. Still are." She spoke the last part in a whisper, her heart clenching painfully. Rachel couldn't look at him for fear that she would lose what little composure she had left. She loved her husband even in this messed up situation that they had found themselves in.
"I was so nervous that you wouldn't show up. That somehow you would figure out that you could do better." She almost looked offended. He always knew that she was destined for great things. She had already made a name for herself in the music business; hell, half of the talent he signed wanted her to write them a song.
"I don't know how that's possible."
He tore his focus away from her, watching his hands as they rested in his lap. "You have always been too good for me, Rach. I knew it from the first time I talked to you. You took a chance on me and can't thank you enough for that. I think everyone knows that I am out of your league."
Rachel hated when Finn got down on himself like this. Over the years, his confidence had boosted significantly but every once in a while it would get the best of him and he would say things like this. Things that would infuriate Rachel. "I don't think so." She told him, raising her voice slightly.
"You deserve better."
Rachel stood, her anger had bubbled back again and she was ready for a fight. "I deserve to spend time with my husband."
"Hey Rachel. What are you still doing here?" Everybody knew that Jesse St. James was at Schuester Entertainment until he landed a roll on Broadway, Rachel included. Their mutual love of the theater had allowed them to become friends, if only at work. He could be critical at times, but once in a while, he had some insightful advice that helped Rachel write a better song. Not that she would ever tell him that.
Rachel looked up from her sheet music to see Jesse standing at the other side of the piano. "Good evening Jesse."
"Evening? It's past nine."
She looked at her watch, realizing that she had been occupying herself with these songs for well over four hours. She could go home, but she knew from experience that Finn wouldn't be there. She hated being in the apartment alone.
Rachel had been working with Schuester Entertainment, a company that specializes in bringing musicians together, for three years now. The company worked closely with major record labels, studios, and artists pairing up songwriters and musicians with people who needed them, Champion Records included.
She always thought it was funny that Finn wanted to be a teacher but somehow they were now working in the same industry. When she was first brought on by Will Schuester, she thought that she and Finn might get to work together; after all songwriters worked with A&R people regularly. Unfortunately, that had not been the case. If he ever got the promotion, it might change, but she didn't see that happening anytime soon, despite the many promises made by his boss.
Empty promises. At first she held out hope that the promotion would come. He worked exceptionally hard and he was extremely good at what he did. If Sue couldn't see that by now, she never would and Rachel was worried that he was being used. Of course she told him so, but his kind heart refused to let him believe it.
That's why she volunteered to stay late every night, taking on extra jobs to keep her from being home alone. It's also why she was sitting in front of a piano at nine o'clock at night writing a song called 'Empty Promises' for Mercedes Jones' second album.
"Oh my. Time must have gotten away from me." She looked up at a smirking Jesse, "What are you doing here so late?"
He waved his hands dismissively and moved closer to her, eventually sitting beside her on the bench. "I was working on a special project for Will." He reached out and lightly tapped on one of the keys on the piano. "Don't you have somewhere to be?"
"Not really. Mercedes really wants these songs soon. I'm trying to get them to her faster." She looked at her music, hoping that Jesse would get the hint and leave her with the piano. Instead, he leaned closer to her, making her feel slightly uncomfortable.
"Rachel. I think we all know that you are hiding from something. Something you want, but can't have?" He raised an eyebrow, scooting closer to her on the bench.
What? What the heck was he talking about? Sure, she was staying late in an effort to not be home alone, but Mercedes demands gave her the perfect excuse. She really was trying to get the music out faster. "Excuse me?"
"Come on, Rachel. I know."
He leaned a little closer, reaching out to brush some of her hair from her face. His fingers barely touched the long strands of her hair before she jumped off the bench to get away from him. "I assure you, I have no idea what you think you know, Jesse."
"You don't have to hide it from me," he stood, standing too close to her for her own comfort. "It's obvious that you like me. We went to lunch three times last week and twice already this week."
"As friends, Jesse." She grabbed her sheet music from where it was resting on the piano and held it close to her. "I am happily married. I love my husband and I would never cheat on him." He cowered back from her with an obvious look of remorse and Rachel raised an eyebrow at him. "I trust this will be the last time you attempt to hit on me?"
Jesse watched in embarrassment as she took another step backwards, her music still clutched to her chest. "I'm sorry. I must have misread the signals. I won't bother you again and I hope we can remain friends." He turned away and took a few steps away from her. "Your husband is a lucky guy."
She watched him go, leaving her alone in the small room once again. Left alone in her thoughts, she thought about what she had said to Jesse and wondered if it was true. Yes, she is married and yes, she does love her husband but was she happy? She packed up her things and headed home contemplating the possible consequences of her thoughts. If she was not happy, what was she doing? She knew the answer; it was because she loved Finn. She loved him more than anything and she knew he felt the same way. He had just become so involved with getting this promotion that he no longer had time for her or them. A promotion that Rachel feared did not exist. She knew that he was doing it for them, but she didn't need the extra money or the notoriety. What she needed was her husband.
Rachel changed into her pajamas and fought her way through the onslaught of questions and emotions that filled her head. She wondered if she was being selfish for wanting more time with her husband, if it was fair to him to ask him if he was content with his job. What she knew for sure was that the whole situation was not fair to her or her marriage. She deserved to eat dinner with her husband every night, to fall asleep in his arms, and to spend more than three hours a week with him.
She needed to think and as much as she tried to find another solution, she couldn't. She reluctantly pulled out her phone and tearfully dialed the one friend she knew that would support her. Tina was kind and understanding when she apologized for calling so late and they made arrangements for Rachel to stay with her until she could sort out what to do about her and Finn.
Tonight though, she could only curl up on their bed and cry. She loved him, she missed him, and now she had to leave him.
"We were going to live happily ever after." She yelled, startling Finn.
He looked up, his eyes sad. "I screwed it up."
Rachel sighed; she knew it wasn't Finn's fault; he was only trying to better their lives. She sat down in her previous spot on the bed and began folding her clothes once again, hoping the action would keep her calm. "You didn't screw it up, Finn, at least not by yourself. I should have tried harder to talk to you about how I was feeling instead of letting it getting to this." The last time she had tried to talk to him about it, he came home long enough to change his clothes so that he could go to an event for Sue. She brought it up as he was rushing around the apartment. He told her he didn't have time, that the car was waiting downstairs, and that they would talk later. He kissed her so fast that she didn't even realize it had happen until it was over and he left the apartment. She went to work the next day and asked if there was more she could do so she wouldn't be home alone so much.
"Is that why you have been working late?"
She nodded. "Mercedes needed more songs and there was nothing keeping me in this house at nights. I couldn't sit in this house anymore waiting for you to come home. It was killing me, Finn. I had to get out." She got some more clothes from her dresser and placed them in the almost full suitcase.
"For what it's worth, I'm sorry."
"Me too, Finn."
"Where do you think you are going, Mashed Potato Pants?"
Finn stopped shoving his papers into the briefcase Rachel had given him for his last birthday and looked at Sue incredulously. "What do you mean? I'm going home, it's my anniversary."
"How sweet. I thought you liked working here?"
He slowly placed another piece of paper into the briefcase. "I do."
"Do you?" She asked, folding her arms in a show of power.
"Of course I do. I have been spending every day, and most nights, here for the past year. I wouldn't do that if I didn't like it here. But tonight is my anniversary and I am taking my wife to dinner." He fastened the locks and tucked in his chair. "We have reservations."
Sue took the case from his hand and placed it back on his desk. "Look, Lumps, I need you to scurry on down to thirty-ninth and take care of one of my clients. He seems to be talking with another record company and we cannot afford to lose him. I have a very important meeting with a celebrity who doesn't even know you exist."
"I can't, Sue. I pro-"
Sue shrugged and cut him off. "Yeah anniversary dinner, I remember. If we lose this guy, you can have all the time off you want and you can most definitely kiss any chance you have at a promotion goodbye."
"What are you saying?'
"Make sure Doherty signs with us and you will be one step closer to your dream job." She stepped towards him threateningly and thrust a small piece of paper into his chest. "Here is the address, hurry up. Do whatever you have to to get him to sign those papers; take him to dinner with you and your wife if you have to."
He reluctantly took the paper from her as she backed away. He didn't want to disappoint Rachel again, especially on their anniversary, but it seemed as if he didn't have a choice. "Fine."
"Suck it up buttercup. There will be other anniversaries." Satisfied that he would take care of it, she walked towards the door of his small office, pausing one last time before she left. "Don't let me down."
Finn sat back at his desk and pulled out his cell phone. He stared at it for a while before finally making the call he really didn't want to make.
"Hello Baby."
"Hey."
Uh oh. Rachel knew that this was not good news. Her heart sunk as she waited for him to cancel yet again. "What is it, Finn?"
"I'm so sorry."
Finn told her about Sue's demands and her threats and promised to make it up to her soon. He knew there was no way he would make it home in time for them to go out so he told her where he had hidden her gift and told her to open if he wasn't home by a certain time. Several hours later, well past the agreed upon time, Rachel found where the small box was hidden. The red wrapping had clearly been done by Finn and she smiled in spite of her sadness. She opened it slowly, trying and failing to stop the tears from flowing as she removed the lid of the small box inside. She let go of a sob as she pulled the small gold star attached to a gold chain from the box. After clutching it to her chest, she placed it around her neck and fastened it before dropping on the bed in tears.
It was well past midnight when Finn returned home. He had gotten Doherty to sign, after a long night of ass kissing and promises. He entered the apartment, calling for Rachel quietly in hopes that she was still awake. He found her asleep on the bed, in the fetal position and holding tightly to the gold star around her neck. Finn could tell she had been crying and his heart broke. He vowed that this was the last time she would cry herself to sleep because of him.
"You were trying to make our lives better, to make a name for yourself." She tossed the last thing into her suitcase and stood. "You know that it didn't matter to me if we were broke and living with my parents. All that mattered was that I had you to come home to. To hold me when I was sad." She closed the bag and latched it, drawing in a calming breath. This was it. "I don't have that. I haven't had it for a while."
He stood up, placing himself directly next to her as she took the suitcase in her hand. He gently ran his hand down her arm, hoping his touch would prevent her from leaving. "Where are you going?"
"You are my first love, and I want, more than anything, for you to be my last. But I can't do this anymore. At least not now." She shook her head and stepped away from Finn, her tears once again flowing from her eyes. "I have to go. Tina is waiting for me."
His heart felt like it was in a vise as he watched her walk away from him. He followed behind her, calling to her just before she reached the front door. "Please don't go."
"I have to Finn. I can't think clearly surrounded by reminders of how happy we were. Reminders of how much I love you."
She opened the front door and stepped into the hallway. Finn could hear the sounds of her crying as he sunk onto their sofa and buried his face in his hands, his own tears flooding his vision.
Rachel closed the door to the apartment and made her way down the hall, her suitcase rolling closely behind her. She entered the elevator and leaned against the back wall, waiting until the doors closed before she broke down completely. She covered her mouth with her left hand as the sobs left her; they only became stronger when she caught a glimpse of the ring on her finger. She wondered what it might take to fix a marriage where love or money was not the issue.
It was time.
She knew that all they needed was time to think about it and time to make it right and eventually, time with each other to heal. She wiped at her eyes as the doors opened and she stepped out of the elevator with her suitcase. Stepping out onto the sidewalk she suddenly felt lost even thought she had a destination. She stood on the curb watching traffic flow by as she tried to summons the strength to hail a cab.
"Wait."
The familiar voice caused Rachel to turn where she stood, allowing her to see the tall form of her husband running towards her. She met his reddened eyes and her heart ached to hold him but she needed to stay strong. This was what was best for them; maybe not today, but in the long run. "Finn…"
"Wait…please." His eyes were pleading as he stood in front of her, ignoring the stares of the passerby's as he took her hand in his.
Torn between feeling the warmth his hand offered and following through with her need to distance herself from the pain, Rachel stepped back, but left her hand in Finn's. "I have to go," she said weakly, though she made no move to step back further.
"Look, I-I have something I want to talk to you about. If you want to go when I'm done, I won't stop you." He took a deep breath and closed his eyes.
"Hudson! What were you thinking? I told you I didn't want another whiney, prepubescent, Backstreet Boys, wanna-be band on my label." Sue stood in the doorway of Finn's office yelling him yet again for doing the job she had hired him to do. The job she was keeping him in, despite promising a promotion he undoubtedly deserved. "Is this how you intend to impress me? You are never going to be A&R Manager if you can't follow simple instructions."
Finn stood, his defenses high. He was done listening to her threats and empty promises. It was time they stop. "You were never going to give me that job. Even though we both know I deserve it. You are using me." He moved from behind his desk so that he was able to stand closer to her. "I have sacrificed everything for this company. For what?" He took another small step towards her, pleased that she looked slightly intimidated.
"Sacrifices must be made to make it in this business."
"I have already sacrificed too much. You have had me running all over this city. Doing your bidding and fixing your messes, not caring how it effects me." It was then, as he said the words that Finn knew exactly what he needed to do. He smiled slightly, already at peace with the decision he had made. Sue must have noticed the change; she narrowed her eyes and leaned closer to him, though it was cautious.
"You wouldn't dare. You need this job."
"The only thing I need is waiting for me at home. Well, work right now, but…" He shook his head and moved behind the desk, grabbing his briefcase and stuffing what personal belongings he could easily reach into it. "It doesn't matter. She's all I need and I'm done trying to please you." He closed the latches and looked at his –former- boss smugly. "I quit." He felt a sense of relief as he made his way out of the building. When the sun hit his face, he looked up and allowed it to warm him. He was free.
"You quit your job?"
Finn nodded. "Every day I was at that office missing you, wanting to hold you but I was stuck in that place. Rachel, you were the beacon of light guiding me through the darkness every day. I screwed it up, allowing you to cry over me." He saw her eyes fill with tears at the acknowledgment of her pain. "Last night when I got home, you were already asleep. You were curled into a ball on the bed and I could see that you had been crying. It almost killed me to see you like that and I knew it was my fault." He reached out and wiped away a tear that was beginning to fall from the corner of her eye, careful not to invade the space she had put between them.
"I don't know what to say."
"For some bazaar reason, you chose to let me love you." He tested her by taking a small step towards her, pleased that she didn't move away again. "I feel like if I can just convince you to let me keep doing that, I'm gonna be okay; everything's gonna be okay." She closed the gap between them a little more to where they were almost pressed together. She reached up to cup his cheek lightly and he rested his hand over hers, pulling it away to kiss her palm as her fingers wrapped around his. When the cool metal of her wedding band connected with his lips, he looked at it thoughtfully. He held it between them, focusing on their rings as he spoke again. "It's a promise, a promise to keep loving you the rest of my life, all you've gotta do is say yes." He kissed he hand again, tenderly as her eyes filled with tears.
Rachel could not believe the heartache she had felt was turning to this. She loved this man more than anything and he was standing in front of her asking for her to love him forever. Loving Finn came easy to Rachel and she could see no reason not to trust that they were going to be okay. She saw all the hope and love in his eyes and felt the small amount of trepidation melt away. She jumped in his arms, holding him tight around the neck as he held her off the ground.
They stayed there hugging on the sidewalk for a while longer, each of them filled with the hope of the future they deserved.
With each other.
Finn stood at the entrance of the large room fidgeting nervously with the tie around his neck. He was used to wearing a tie every day, but for some reason this one seemed to be suffocating him. Maybe it was the room filled with successful musicians, or maybe it was that he was ready to go into Champion Records for the first time in over a year. Yeah, it's probably the second one.
"Babe, you have no reason to be nervous." Rachel said as she stopped in front of him and adjusted his tie once again.
Her hand lingered on his chest as she reached up on her toes to place a kiss on his lips, causing him to smile, in spite of his nerves. "I know. It's just that this is the first time I've been here since I quit, you know. What if Sue is here?"
"What if she is?" Rachel shrugged. "I love you and we are happy."
Finn thought about the time since he left Champion Records and the amazing things he and Rachel had done since. His new job teaching music at George Washington High School was amazing; he had amazing colleagues and students, who all seemed to like him. They even called him by his name, something Sue never did. He and Rachel were blissfully happy and their marriage was better than ever. "We are." When he thought of Rachel and how happy she made him, he instinctively reached out to her and rested a hand on the barely visible baby bump and rubbed softly.
"Think of it like this: if it weren't for that whole situation, we wouldn't even be here today."
As much as their near separation pained them both, it turned out to be great inspiration for Rachel. She used it to write a beautiful and somewhat heart breaking song that was picked up by a popular band. 'Break Your Plans' was currently sitting at number one on the charts, for six weeks now, and had earned Rachel her first platinum certified single. That is what they were here celebrating tonight. "That's true. I'm so proud of you."
Rachel wrapped her arms around Finn, pulling him close to her. "I love you too, so much." They were barely able to press their lips together before they were interrupted.
"Well, well, well. If it isn't Hudson Hog and his Little Woman."
Without releasing the tight grip he had on his wife, Finn looked over at his former boss. The fear he had not long ago was now gone, despite the familiar scowl of his former employer, he smiled and greeted her warmly. "Hello, Sue."
"What are you two doing here? This is a party for winners."
Having worked with her for so long, Finn knew how she could be. He ignored her dig and looked down at Rachel. "I think you just answered your own question." He kissed her forehead and released her, taking her hand as she stood beside him. "Rachel wrote one of the songs that are being celebrated tonight." He told her proudly. He could not believe how lucky he was.
"How about that? You two have already managed to bore me."
They watched as Sue walked off into the crowd, without another word. "Well, she hasn't changed a bit." Rachel said.
Finn shook his head, a small smile playing on his lips. "I can't say I'm surprised. I'm glad I moved on. There is less drama working with high school kids." Who knew that a hundred kids who seemed to excel in the art of drama would pale in comparison to a woman in her mid-forties? He squeezed Rachel's hand and led her into the large, dimly lit room, eager to start an evening celebrating his wife. "Come on Mrs. Hudson, let's find our seats."
They took their seats and Rachel looked around the room recognizing several of the people. She had worked with many of them in the past, some directly, some indirectly; this was the first time that she had seen any of them socially.
At first she worried that creating such a personal song would make hearing the song difficult, but every time she heard it, it made her smile. It's weird to think that a time that brought so much heartache, led to this. She was receiving her first Platinum Certified single, and Finn would be right beside her. "This is so surreal."
"I'm so proud of you right now."
"I know I should look back at it and feel sad, but then I look at where we are right now. I am happier than I have ever been, we are both doing something that we love, and now, with this baby," She rubbed at her bump lovingly and continued. "I feel like we just have so many more things to look forward to."
"We do. You did an amazing job with this song, obviously." He gestured around the room, chuckling slightly. "I just feel like I don't say it enough. Me and you, and our baby, we are a part of something special."
She leaned to him with unshed tears in her eyes and kissed him sweetly, before pulling away and looking into his eyes. "You are my hero, you know that?"
"You're mine. I love you so much." He kissed her again, keeping in mind that they were in the company of professionals. They settled back in their seats and waited for ceremony to begin.
No matter how much time had passed or how many times they heard the song inspired by a rough time in their marriage, it always brought a tear to their eyes. Not because of the memories it brought back, instead it reminded them both of what they had overcome to be this happy.
Love doesn't always come easy, but when you fight hard for what you want and overcome the obstacles that are in your way, you come out on the other side better. Better for knowing that you not only overcame it, but you emerged victorious, together.
A/N- Happy and together again. Hooray! For the record, I love reading angst (with happy endings). They are among my favorite stories and if you have ever asked me for a recommendation, they always top my list. Anyway, I do have more fluffy one shots planned. I don't know when I'll get them out, but they are coming. Fell free to leave a review.