Author's Note: This story picks up from the scene at the end of chapter 2 and beginning of chapter 3 for "Illumination". I've gone ahead and carried over the scenes involving the main character for this story with only minor changes for those who haven't yet read "Illumination" or who need a recap of what's been going on! I hope you enjoy!
Deep blue strands of hair blew gently in the breeze with the ends of a black and blue dress. She stood on the edge of the balcony that wrapped around the roof of a large clock tower.
"Hey," A male voice said a little off to her left, "Don't do it, please."
The girl squeaked in surprise as she jumped a bit, losing her footing on the ledge.
The man jumped and rushed to catch the girl by the arm, stopping her from falling and preventing her would be death.
"Easy now." He said, helping her rebalance herself on the ledge. "How 'bout you come down from there and have some ice cream with us hm? It'll be my treat! There's no need to be so rash."
A young bespectacled boy who wore the same black coat as the man stood still off to the side just watching the situation. His heterochromatic eyes wore a look of deep confusion for what he had just witnessed.
"What's your name?" The red head asked as he helped her step down into the walkway behind the ledge.
She didn't answer.
"My name's Axel," The man smiled, "It's okay, we're friends."
"My name's Ordix!" The young boy said cheerfully to the girl.
She looked at the boy standing further back and her silver eyes widened seeing how young he was.
"I'm sorry." She said softly, tucking her hands close to her chest, "I didn't know there was anyone up here, let alone a child."
"It's okay," Axel said with a warm smile, "I'm gonna go grab another ice cream. You and Ordix can have these two while you wait for me to come back, okay?"
The girl nodded as she took one of the blue popsicles. Axel handed the other to Ordix and headed back towards the stairs.
Ordix plopped himself up on the ledge where the strange girl had been standing. She stared at him for a moment before taking a seat a few feet away from him. The boy looked at her from the corner of his eye before returning his focus to his ice cream. Things were quiet for a moment as the two enjoyed their ice creams in this strange suddenly calm quiet place.
"So why were you up here?" Ordix asked innocently.
The girl's chest tightened in fear.
"It's dangerous to stand on such high places without something to stop you from falling." He said.
"I know." She nodded.
"You could've died." He said.
"I know." She said once more.
Suddenly Ordix shivered some as his eyes widened.
"Is... Is that what you wanted?" He asked, his voice thick with nervousness as he looked to the girl older than him.
It was then that Axel plopped himself between the two with his own ice cream.
The girl with with blue hair looked to the ground below silently, avoiding eye contact with the two beside her on the ledge as she ate the rest of her ice cream. When she got to the end of the popsicle she glanced at the stick noticing that it had a crown emblem and the word 'Winner' written on it. Axel glanced over, surprise in his eyes as he held his half eat popsicle in his mouth.
"Oh hey," He said over the popsicle before pulling it from his mouth, "You got a winner stick! How lucky!"
"What did I win...?" The girl asked.
Ordix glanced over at the two, leaning a bit so he could see the stick.
"If you take it to the ice cream place you get a free one!" He said cheerfully.
"Oh," She said before holding it out to him with her eyes downward, "You can have it then."
"What?" Axel said, "No way, you gotta keep it. It'll be something you can look forward to!"
"Look," The girl said in a cold tone as she stood back up on the ledge, "You can drop the happy act."
Ordix pretended he wasn't listening to the girl as he teetered the end of his now empty popsicle stick between his teeth.
"I get it. You caught some girl you don't even know about to take her life and now you think you need to act all coddling so you can feel comforted with the idea I might not try again as soon as you leave. I understand believe me I do," She said, stepping down into the walkway, "But frankly I find it annoying. I don't need to be babied and handheld just because you found me in a vulnerable situation, got it?"
The young boy looked to Axel who was starting to stand up himself in front of the girl. It was intimidating to see how much taller than her he was, but somehow the girl still held herself with such a strong confidence as they stared each other deep in the eyes for the first time since the boys had found her up here.
"Excuse you?" Axel asked behind clenched teeth, "Look, I'm sorry for whatever it is you're dealing with that put you in this situation and made you feel this way but the last thing you're gonna do is accuse me of faking kindness. Especially because you think I'm trying to comfort myself. If you don't wanna be here, fine. If you want to feel the way you do and not bother trying to look at the positives in your life, fine. You can go home to wherever it is you belong and have your pity party there but you're not gonna pull this with me, princess."
Ordix trembled a bit hearing Axel getting mad. He hadn't seen this side of him yet and now he hoped he never would again. His chest tightened hearing the two argue. The feeling felt familiar in a way he didn't like. The boy slipped his hands over his ears in an attempt to muffle the sounds. Unfortunately it wasn't proving effective as the girl retorted.
"What is with people who talk to suicidal folks and assuming we have 'positives in our lives' let alone anything in our lives at all?" She laughed, "I've got nothing to lose anymore. Not friends, not family, not a home or any possessions. not even a heart. I have nothing."
Ordix blinked in shock at how she spit the words.
"Wait, what?" Axel said in a suddenly calmer tone.
"You heard me." She snapped back, "I've lost everything but my life."
"You lost your heart? That means you're-" Axel was stopped.
"A Nobody?" The girl interrupted, "I'm aware."
Axel and Ordix both looked to her with surprise.
"She's one of us?" Ordix asked in a soft tone.
The older two looked to the boy who had been quiet until now.
"What do you mean 'one of us'?" She asked, "You guys are Nobodies too?"
"Uh-huh." The young boy said with a nod, "We're Nobodies from the Organization."
"The what?" She inquired.
"The Organization," Axel repeated Ordix's words, "We're all Nobodies."
"Interesting..." The girl was becoming surprisingly calm, "Take me."
"What?" Axel asked.
"Take me to this 'Organization'." She said, "They might have answers I need. You may have won your way into keeping me alive after all."
Axel and Ordix both looked to each other in confusion before Axel rubbed the back of his head.
"Okay," He said, "I mean, technically I'm supposed to do this anyways so I guess uh, you can come back with us. Whatever answers you're looking for though, they may not give it up very easy."
"I have ways of making people talk." The girl said coldly.
"Heh, I'm sure you do." Axel laughed nervously as he turned around and opened a corridor with his hand.
"It's Xembar, by the way." She said.
"What?" Axel asked, "Oh, your name right?"
"Yeah. You said it's Axel and uh," Xembar stopped for a second, "Ordix. Right?"
The two nodded as Ordix stood up in the walk way to go back to the castle.
When the group emerged they were standing in a white hallway outside of a door.
"Hey Ordix," Axel said, "You can find your way back to your room on your own, right?"
Ordix nodded.
"It was nice to meet you, Xembar." The young boy said with a tone of shyness, waving at her.
"A pleasure." She said, "I'm sorry for acting out in front of you."
"It's okay." He said, "I hope you find what you're looking for."
end "Illumination" recap
After that the boy wandered off down the hall leaving the two adults. Axel balled a gentle fist and knocked on the door. When it opened there was an older blond gentleman who stared at them both for a moment before letting out a heavy sigh.
"Another one?" He asked.
"Yeah," Axel nodded, "Says she's got some questions you might have answers to.
"You've got to stop bringing home strays, Axel." The blond laughed only slightly. "Fine then, come in. I'll see what we can do."
The two entered the white room, the door closing behind them.
"So introductions first. My name is Vexen. What's yours?" He asked.
"Xembar." The girl said.
"How old are you, Xembar?" Vexen asked as he picked a clipboard up off the desk.
"Nineteen." She said as she watched him closely.
"Do you know what's happened to you?" He asked curiously.
"I lost my heart and became a Nobody." Xembar answered.
"Yes, exactly. You're one of the only ones who has actually known." Vexen said somewhat surprised. "How did you know?"
"I'd like to keep that to myself for now, if that's alright." She said. Vexen and Axel both raised their eyebrows a bit and looked at each other. Axel shrugged.
"Well, I supposed that's okay for now," Vexen said, "I'd appreciate it if you tell me sometime though. It's not something I see everyday."
"Scratch my back and I'll scratch yours." The young girl responded. Vexen smiled.
"Alright, how about how you lost your heart?" The blond continued.
"I-" Her silver eyes shot downward, glancing only briefly to the side at Axel, "I'd also like to pass on answering that for now."
"Well," Vexen sighed, "Axel, can I ask you to go for now? I'll handle everything else here, even talking to Xemnas. You can be done for today."
The red head looked to him with surprise in his eyes and a look of confusion. He looked as though he was sad to hear the words but complied none the less.
"Yeah," He said, "I'll see you around, Xembar." He walked past her for the door and left the room.
"Now," Vexen said, "Does this make things easier?"
"Yes," Xembar nodded, "Thank you."
"Would you like to sit before we continue?" He asked in a calm tone.
She nodded once more.
The older man lead her into a small exam room where she sat in a chair a couple feet away from him.
"So I'll ask again, how did you lose your heart?" He asked.
"I killed my former self." The girl with blue hair said almost a little too calmly.
Vexen's eyes widened as she continued.
"My younger sister and I, we didn't come from a good home." Xembar avoided eye contact with the man in front of her. "I don't remember a lot of my childhood. I think I pushed the memories away so they wouldn't hurt me anymore."
"If I may interrupt for a moment," Vexen said, "The memories you don't have may return at some point during your time here. It's common for Nobodies to not remember the entirety of their past lives when they first come into existence, so don't worry about the things you can't remember."
"Alright." Xembar nodded before she continued. "I'll spare you the details of what I do remember, because I'd rather not think about it. Long story short my sister and I were the victims of long term abuse from both of our parents. Both of us spent day and night being verbally assaulted and physically beaten, among other things." She shook her head as if it was an Etch A Sketch with an image she didn't desire to have.
"I'm sorry you've had to go through that." Vexen said.
"There came a night where I was holding my sister in my arms as she sobbed." She was still staring at the ground. "She told me she couldn't take it anymore. That she would rather die than live another day to be their victim. Frankly, I felt the same."
Vexen stared at her as she continued.
"So that night I did something awful." The girl with blue hair looked to the older blond, locking her eyes with his. "I killed her and then myself."
Vexen's eyes widened as he visibly stood up a bit more straight than he had been initially.
"That was two years ago." She said. "When I came to I went searching for her frantically, thinking maybe if I woke up in a strange new world I could have a new life with just her and I. But I haven't been able to find her. After two years of searching I've failed to find her and this second chance is worthless to me without her, so I decided I would take my life once more. That's when Axel and Ordix found me. I was atop the tower in Twilight Town ready to jump when they came around the corner."
"That's," Vexen hesitated, troubled by the tale the girl had told him, "So sad." He said, truly feeling sorry for her. "I'm guessing the questions you have for me relate to whether or not I know where your sister might be."
Xembar nodded.
"Well," Vexen sighed, "I'm afraid the only girl we have younger than you is Xion, and to put it simply I know she isn't your sister."
"Oh," The younger girl said, "So she hasn't turned up here?"
"More than likely, no. The only other girl amongst our ranks is Larxene, but she's older than you and looks not a thing like you." He answered, "But that doesn't mean she won't turn up. I'm surprised you managed to avoid us for as long as you did considering most of our members either immediately turn up in this area or are found shortly after they awaken. If you did it though, it's entirely possible she has too. I wouldn't give up just yet if I were you."
"Really?" Xembar asked.
"Yes," He nodded, "And I think that staying with us might be your best bet at finding her. All Nobodies find their way here at some point or another. This world is a magnet for those stuck between light and dark, so I'm certain if she is to be found it will be either in our world or by someone in our ranks."
"Okay," She nodded, "Then I'm staying here no matter what. I'm going to find her no matter what it takes."