"I'll send you my love on a wire
Lift you up, everytime, everyone, oooh, pulls away, oooh
From you. . . "
- Metric "Black Sheep"
The vacation was over. Mindy had missed her flight and Danny had been in a mood since they left his father's house. The experience was the answer to a lot of her questions about Danny and his life, and she felt bad for him. His dad had a change of heart and decided to be better without Danny. That had to hurt.
"This has been a spirited couple of days. God, I can't wait to get out of here. The desert sucks, right? I mean, I'm not alone in thinking that, right? The desert sucks, for sure."
She looked at Danny almost indirectly as he clutched the steering wheel. She felt that he was so tense. She reached to touch his arm softly. "Danny?"
The car slowed down and pulled on to a shoulder. Danny was still stone-faced. "I'm sorry. I need some air, I think." he said in a whisper.
The seatbelt clicked and she watched him exit the car. They didn't have time for this. They might miss their flight. Dammit.
"Danny, we so don't have time for another breakdown right n-"
He was leaned up against the trunk, head hung low with his hands jammed in his pockets.
She sighed. Who'd have known it would come to this.
"This thing with your dad's really got you fucked up, huh?"
He took a second to nod slowly, but he didn't look at her.
"Danny, I'm so sorry, babe. But it's like you always say, 'it is what it is.'" She chuckled then, which was nice for his ears to hear, but he couldn't his own words being said right back to him. "It's gonna be alright."
She stepped closer to him and put her hand on his cheek. She tried to draw it away, but doing so seemed to startle him. He grabbed her hand and peeled it off his face, but didn't let go. She stared at his gorgeous, downcast face, those handsome features and she felt something confusing move quick inside her. Why did Danny always make her feel so . . . dreamy? She wanted him to feel better, or maybe she just wanted him. He was so good looking, and so messed up. And she was pretty sure she still had a boyfriend back home. Cliff wasn't Danny, and that made him both desirable and repulsive. He was tall and blonde and didn't linger or fumble over his words. He was sweet and open. She kept telling herself that Danny wasn't these things and that's why they could never be together, but who was she kidding?
Just about every morning, she would wake up sore with wanting. These dreams she kept having of Danny, Danny on top of her and Danny inside of her and every version of the fantasy left her panting and frustrated. And each time she tried to quell the aching. She'd throw the t-shirt she wore off of herself and ghost her fingers over stomach and thighs. She screw her eyes shut tight and slip one finger into her mouth and sucking on it. She'd knead her breasts like she imagined Danny would and her wet fingers would find her way down. And she would moan and cry out and hold on to the image of Danny she had in her head. She would come each morning she spent in her apartment alone.
Mindy would never tell anyone that. Not her pretty boy boyfriend, not the subject of her fantasies, nobody.
And now, it would seem, he was beginning to fall apart. His face took a pained shaped and he released his her hand.
"Danny, you are terrifying me right now."
"It was so different from how I thought it would be. He seems happy." His voiced slipped at the word. "We never-"
"Let's do an exercise. Look out to the end of the road out there and look for your life. And I want you to tell me all of the things that you would have done differently. And I'll listen to you, but I won't say anything and I'll try to understand."
"I can't."
"You can. I know you, Castellano. I know how you hold on to these things. I want you to feel better, please. I don't want to see you sad. When you are, I am. It's in the best friend contract."
She turned to look out on the road like he did, waited for a while. Then slowly, he began to open up.
" I would have defended him. If people in the neighborhood talked shit, I would have. I would have told him that it would have been okay. It would have been okay. When people pointed their fingers at him and all of his flaws. If he couldn't make all of my little league games or if he couldn't afford that ten speed bike i wanted at Christmas, or if he had to work through my high school graduation, I would have told him that it was okay to falter. That, thanks to him, I know exactly what its like to feel inadequate or lost. That as long as he was there, it would have been enough because I'd have known he cared. And it was okay, because I loved him anyway. I wouldn't have thrown him away or replaced him because we were so poor that my mom had to . . . give up our house so I could go to college. I would have told him that I loved him anyway and looked up to him anyway because I only got one dad. I would have changed everything, and I would have been a better son if it meant that I could hang onto him. I would have begged for him to stay.
Mindy's own tears were coming now. She could have been sobbing, but she didn't want to. It was his revelation (but also kind of her own.) Remaining quiet, perhaps, was best.
"I'm just so disappointed that I don't know what to do. I don't want him anymore. I don't want anybody. I can't get my hopes up for anything anymore. I don't have the heart for it. I think about what he did every single day. And I spend so much time thinking about what I did and how I couldn't change his mind. But I tried.
She took him in a tight embrace. Swaying on balls of her feet around and around. She threaded her fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck gently and whispered
"You are so loved Danny. And so invaluable. Don't give up. Okay?"
She felt him shaking and clutching her hard, and she knew that he was crying. His face was buried in her neck, and she cursed herself for relishing this rare proximity. She wished he would let go soon so that they could get into the car and make their way back home before she could slip up and kiss him.
But it was already happening. She turned her head just so, so that she could graze her lips to his cheek. The kiss was chaste, barely there, and that's where it had stopped.
/
The plane ride was quiet. Mindy slept on and off. First waking up with her head on the window. The second time slumped back in the seat. Third time, her head fell to
Danny's shoulder and he only woke her (very gently) when it was time to disembark.
Mindy got the sense that Danny was feeling vulnerable and would continue to stay that way for the rest of the evening. They had decided to share a cab She didn't want him to be alone and the idea flew from her mouth before she had a chance to stop it. "It's late. You wanna come upstairs? Spend the night?"
"You got any food up there?"
"We've been over this, I zero out my fridge every night."
"I'll make us something."
"Danny, it's 2 am."
The cabbie interrupted, "The meter's still running, guys, any day now."
"Okay, thank you, sir. We're going."
/
Mindy moaned from deep in her throat. "I'm sorry, I know I ask you this every time you make food but what is in this?"
"Its just pasta."
They sat the counter in her kitchen, shoving forkfuls in their mouths.
"Yeah, but like, what did you put in it to give it that heroine effect?"
He waited a long time before saying, "Love," sarcastically.
She kicked him in the shin teasingly. "Such a jerk. This pasta was still so good. Thanks, Danny."
"Don't mention it."
She got up from the stool and walked their dishes to the sink.
" Is Cliff gonna be cool with this? Me staying over?" he asked seriously.
Mindy headed for the bathroom, effectively ignoring his question. "I'm gonna take a quick shower. I'll save some hot water for you, too if you want," she called.
"Sure."
/
Danny stood in the doorway, leaning on it watching the tv that played in her bedroom. He wasn't wearing anything except a towel around his waist that was hanging very low. "I don't know if it was because we were so old when it started but I just couldn't get into that show." He walked to the living room and she heard him shuffling around changing clothes. He reemerged moments later dress in pajama pants and a gray t-shirt, "Plus it seemed like for years it was there at every turn. Graduate high school, there it is, go to a college party, what's on the tv? It's not sports, its that goddamn show. And now we deliver babies and what else is playing but reruns of that stupid show? It ended a decade ago, why can't I escape it?"
"Okay, first Danny, don't 'we' me in your little scenario because for the thousandth time we are not the same age. Second there's no age limit or requirement for appreciating good television and lastly, Friends is an American artifact. The style, the music? Why am I explaining this to you, Danny, you know how important this stuff is."
"Yeah, yeah." He sat up against the head board opposite her. "Look, I wanted to thank you for all those things you said to me in the desert today. It was very sweet."
"I meant it. You don't have to be afraid to tell me stuff like that. I want to hear it."
He stretched across the bed and putting his hands on either side of her, he gave her a lingering kiss on her temple. He whispered another thank you and sat back.
"Mmmhmm, you smell good," she cooed, turning in his arms, skirting the tip of her nose up and down his neck.
Danny chuckled, drawing away. "Remind me to keep you off the Rosé."
"It's true," she insisted. Then she cocked her head to look at him. "You always smell good. Sexy."
He eyed the length of her body. The t-shirt she wore was long, but as she lay out on her front, her legs seemed to stretch forever. The shirt began to ride up just at the curve of her behind.
"In Harry Potter there's this love potion that smells exactly like whatever attracts the person. And it's the same potion, but for every witch or wizard it smells different. It's called Amortentia."
"Oh, yeah? What's yours?"
"Cinnamon sugar pretzels, department stores and whatever you're wearing."
He chuckled mirthlessly.
She looked back at him from the television.
"You never answered my question," he said.
"About what?"
"Cliff. If you're still trying to win him over, how's this gonna go over?"
"You think he won't be too keen on me letting strange men sleep in my bed?"
"No, I don't think so," Danny said.
Mindy sighed. "That, I figure, is quite over with. I don't know where I was hoping it was going, but it doesn't matter now because it's not going to happen."
"Because you had a fight? One fight and you're out? That doesn't sound like you."
"I don't want to talk about his now," she whispered.
"Why? What's so bad that you can't fix it? That you wouldn't even try again? Why wouldn't you if you cared the way I thought you did."
"I don't think I did care the way you thought I did."
"Why not?"
"Because you're here!"
"You're here and not him and that's why we're not-"
Danny couldn't help the hurt look on his face. He started to slide himself off of the mattress, putting his feet on the plush red (blood orange?) rug.
"-Don't you get it?"
He shot up from the edge of the bed and headed to the living room to gather up his things, "You want me to leave?" He yelled back to her as she sat there stunned.
"No," she groaned. She was even worse at this than he was. "Me and Cliff aren't together because I want you. Instead. I've always just wanted you. It didn't make any sense to me, but then you started letting me into your life and you helped me and you taught me things and I just wanted you. It wasn't LA that proved it or me and Cliff breaking up. I just really needed to tell you that I lo- that I wanted you. And I needed to do it in a way that wouldn't scare you off."
He gazed at her for a long time before his eyes grew misty, not with tears, but he was thinking, thinking hard. She worried that he was over thinking and somehow the moment would be lost. Mindy felt fading.
"Danny, please say something."
He didn't say anything immediately after her diatribe, but he edged her over to the island in the kitchen silently. Once there, he held his hand at the bend in her neck. His thumb stroked at the pulse and it jumped at the touch. She tried to recall when was the last time she and Danny were this close, bodies pressed up against one another as he practically breathed her in, and all signs pointed to never. What could happen next crossed her mind for what was, admittedly, not the first time. Except now she wasn't anxious, but thrilled at the prospect of it. She tried to will her lips closer to his, but he pushed back gently, a smile on his face. It felt like he was playing a game with her.
"Danny." Her voice was so quiet even to her own ears, and she wondered if he heard her at all.
Danny dipped down and placed a wet kiss on her neck and she shuddered. His lips made their way lower and so did his hands. He snaked both under her t-shirt, and one traveled lower to her ass. It cupped and clawed and surely drew marks. It gave him enough balance to keep himself in place. An inappropriate part of herself hissed triumphantly 'I knew was checking me out' as he grabbed her. His other hand fell to her breasts, and suddenly he was everywhere at once and it just felt good. Good to be touched by the right person, by someone who knew what he was doing. He was making his own ragged noises between swift sweeps of his tongue to accompany her gasps indicating that he was focused and maybe just a bit in love.
Standing ramrod straight he gave her a mind numbing kiss on the mouth, both hands finding their way to her behind this time. It was a kiss that undid. That unraveled, and she felt malleable and pliant and wanted back finally. All of the blood flowed straight downstairs, and she knew she would be so wet when he finally would touch her. His narrow hips were doing fantastic things, but friction was only friction and god, he needed to move.
As if he was reading her mind, Danny sank gradually to his knees while kissing her sternum, her stomach, her hip, his hands followed and before she knew it, he was slipping off the cute lace black boy shorts she'd had the good sense to wear that night.
His hands were tangled trying to make quick work of her t-shirt, and in a moment of daring (and self-consciousness) she shoved him off of her, and leaned back on the counter. "You first," she said before licking her lips.
"No."
"No?"
"Slower. That's how I want you."
"It's a little late for that isn't it? We've been doing slow for years." She was both aroused and frustrated, a familiar feeling. But this was more petulant some somehow, being that they were so close to what she'd wanted.
He smirked and slipped his hand back under her shirt to tease her breasts. He glided it down and cupped her. He put the pad of his thumb along her clit, and she failed to stifle a high-pitched yelp. "You don't think I can go slow?" he said devilishly, he looked her in the eye while he worked her, and that just killed her as he followed the sway of her head on her neck. He was pumping fingers and adding some, killing pressure and moving so deftly in and out because she was just that wet.
"Uhhnhhh, Danny."
He grasped her waist and sat her on the cold surface. She fell back flush against it and her legs fell open without prompting. Danny knelt down and put his hands on her soft thighs and went to work.
"Mmph," she gasped
Mindy had decided a long time ago that she loved Danny's lips, that no man with such a curmudgeonly disposition and general unpleasant way about him deserved such a mouth. All that potential, she told herself, gone to waste. And she'd never admit this strange fetish to anyone, but Danny ate enthusiastically, and that had started to appeal to her in recent week. The noises he made as he smacked at this or that were loud and a little rude, but very sexual and still very sweet. About a month ago, she'd decided that meal times were out of the question, for fear of jumping her best friend. Now, Danny was hungry and it was clear and those wet sounds were throwing her body into a frenzy not to mention how it felt.
She was arching her back and sinking her nails down to Danny's scalp and coming. She looked down and saw his head bobbing up and down and was done for. "Oh god,
Danny," she croaked out once he rose to his feet again to meet her.
Like a gentleman, he helped her down and held her up when her legs began to fail. There is just a moment when she looks into his eyes and forgets that he just went down on her. She sees Danny-from-before, best friend Danny, sweaty and rambling and closed off and she likes it. He's vulnerable and still close to her somehow.
He spins her around and moves her toward the bedroom where the TV is still on, playing a rerun of Friends. His dick is so hard on the curve of her ass, and she doesn't want to seem eager, but she wants to get thrown down on her on bed and get fucked by Daniel Castellano so fucking savagely- whoa, no, calm down. It's his penis, it's talking to her, telling her to do dirty things that she would never do . . .
Mostly never . . .
Pretty much never . . .
She would. She would do those things. Anything he wanted. Dammit.
Plus, he's kissing her neck and sucking her earlobe, and his hands are roaming. Enough of that. It's her turn. She rotates and nudges him to the edge the bed before pushing him down. He slid back up against the headboard and was being so good and so patient as her brain scrambled. She reached for the bedside lamp and watched his body relax under the light. First, his shirt had to go. She crawled over him, slid his dark t-shirt up his revealing (may the heavens rejoice) his toned abs and a lovely layer of dark hair on his torso. The pajama pants had to go to and while she's at it, the boxers too. And his reward was the final removal of the t-shirt she wore.
She jutted her chest out just for show and his eyes grew wide as if he was mesmerized.
"You like what you see?"
"Very much." He said lustfully.
She nodded slowly before leaning in to kiss him. Her hips aligned with his and she broke the kiss just to guide him over her slit once for good measure and finally inside.
They both moaned and she began rolling and winding her hips like an expert. But she looked down at him swHer hair fell in a sheet down her back and as she fucked him, she rolled it with her fingers and threw it over her shoulder to keep from overheating. And he watched that curtain of hair move like water over her smooth skin. She was close and the way was looking at her made her already approaching orgasm come faster. But then Danny grabbed her hips and forced her legs further apart so he could get deeper. She cried out his name and skimmed her hands down his back as he met her thrust for thrust. He was panting with his face in the crook of her neck, whispering unintelligible things that sounded an awful lot like like love-words.
He came, all hot and heavy inside of her. He rolled off of her but moments later was on his stomach, propped up by his forearms watching her breathing steady.
Her eyes finally met his and she looked away abashedly. "Hi."
"Hey," he croaked.
"You kinda like me, don't you, Castellano?"
"You?" he whispered with mock indignation. He kissed her shoulder and breast, "never."
"No, I can't have you do that to me again. Sleep," she was starting to drift, "conserve your energy for tomorrow."
It was 4:30 am and growing light outside her window. She fell asleep with him drawing circles and spirals along her back.
/
Mindy woke up nestled next to Danny Castellano and he was a furnace, but so cute as he slept. She decided it was good idea to come closer and fall back to sleep.
/
When she woke up the next time after hearing him roll out of bed and stumble into the living room. Mindy tripped in and out the bathroom sleepily.
"You know you can't make a habit of this, right?" she said, making her way to the kitchen.
"Of what? Crazy sex marathons or me using your toothbrush?"
"Um, no, both of those you can do. One of those, I insist you do often," she winked. "But I'm talking about the food. We don't all have hours to spend at the gym every day. I have to watch my dainty birdlike figure."
He pulled her into a passionate kiss, and she drew his pouty bottom lip between her two and sucked. "Or I could watch it for you," he whispered, moving her hair off of her neck so he could suck her pulse. Such a Danny line, and she'd be damned if she didn't love it.
"Yeah, yeah." She rolled her eyes.
They sat on the living room floor and ate the chocolate chip pancakes and bacon. She had the next forkful at her mouth when she put it down suddenly and a wistful smile played on her face.
"What?" he said, tickling her stomach.
"Nothing," she giggled.
He crawled on top of her and tickled her until she cried shakily, "Oh, Danny, please!"
He slowed his hands down and started running them along her sides, thighs and under her breasts. "Tell me, Min."
"Mmph." Mindy was biting her lip in anticipation. "I like your lips."
"Do you?"
She nodded, and he kissed her hand softly. "I like your everything. Your smile and skin, everything. It's all beautiful."
"That's good to hear."
"I mean it. You're never anything less than
And you know what else I love?" lifted up her hips so his hands could find her ass and discover that she wasn't wearing any underwear. He smirked.
"I knew you were checking me out!"
He hadn't said he loved her and she had yet to tell him the same, but Mindy wasn't worried. They had time. And he would say it the following Thursday over the phone by accident. And then that Thursday night on purpose, over and over again.
Not 24 hours before, Danny had high hopes of going home and forgetting LA and the desert. It was 9:38 am on a Saturday, and Danny wouldn't sleep much for the rest of the weekend . . . or leave Mindy's apartment. But that was, it seemed, more than okay.