A/N: I'm not as passionate about BashxKenna as I am about Francis and Mary, but this is still a stupid plotline with causing all these problems between them. Set at Season 2, Tasting Revenge.
Kenna had to admit that the proposal from the Antoine of Navarre was tempting. She would be a queen. She would be on equal footing with Mary. After all this time as one of Mary's Ladies, she would be a queen with ladies of her own. Bash hadn't been wrong when he had called her on her love of nice things and parties.
Bash. She was still married. She was married to a good man. Their awkward and forced marriage ceremony had grown into a loving relationship for the both of them. They had both had hearts for others and yet had fallen for each other. They had found safe harbor within each other. Their troubles of late didn't change that, did it?
They had grown distant of each other since he had found out that his mother could have been executed because of Kenna's actions. Then he had said that they were married- married for life and that he would have to make peace with it.
No. She had no intention of being unfaithful to her husband. The life she had with him might be lonelier than she would like and they would always have issues to work through, but didn't every couple? Mary and Francis had seemed so happy from the moment they were married, but the state of their relationship showed that starting out in love doesn't guarantee you safe passage to the end either. She had to tell the King of Navarre that this wasn't going to continue. That is couldn't continue, no matter how much a part of her wanted to take his offer.
As she came up the corridor, she could see Antoine talking with a servant. His eyes glanced up and saw her, cutting off his sentence. "Uhh, fetch me something. I don't care what it is, but fetch it from far away." The servant disappeared around the corner of the door. A smile graced Antoine's lips as he offered his hand to Kenna and he shut the door behind them as she crossed the threshold.
Looking around his chambers, she saw all the finery that came with being a king, even if Navarre was a small country, even if she would have to wait for a woman's death- that is so morbid! This man had connections everywhere and had a very influential, very wealthy wife, if Bash's information was true. Surely there was a more suitable match than a lady-in-waiting for France and Scotland's queen?
"I have to ask you something." Kenna voiced her confusion at his choice and he fed her back some lines about being bold, about lacking shame, about that being an attractive quality in her and in a mother for his children.
When she first entered the room, she'd felt her earlier resolve crumbling. Kenna still very much was a materialistic girl and he could allow her to plan all the parties she wanted. And his explanation, though far from making sense, did boost her ego. An ego that had been bruised by Bash's continual absences and their arguments. No one saw the quirks of her personality as Antoine was describing them.
No one except Bash.
She tried once again to bring up the fact that they are both married. This would be adultery, only to hear his earlier excuses of his soon-to-be-late wife and the fact that Bash doesn't trust her.
Bash had never said that he didn't trust her. The look was in his eyes. He was deeply hurt by her actions. "Why should he trust me? I'm here with you, now. How am I proving that he should trust me?"
Kenna turned to leave, but as she did so, her arm was caught. She was swung around into the arms of someone who she had to remind herself was extremely powerful. This was not the first time that a man powerful enough to have her killed with a word was forcing himself on her and she felt as trapped as she had so many time with Henry. He pressed his lips to her own. Kenna realized she had two choices- she could struggle, though she had a feeling that a man like this would only respond more insistently, or she could remain unresponsive and run as soon as he stopped.
Pulling away, the King of Navarre seemed rather pleased with himself. The smug smile fell from his face when she wrenched open the door and tore off down the corridor. She had to find Bash.
Knowing the stables were the most likely place to start, as if Bash was on the grounds, he would likely be preparing to leave or just coming back, and if he wasn't, a stable boy would know how long ago he had left.
As her luck would have it, she caught him coming in on his horse.
Her nerves were obnoxious as she waited for him to hand his horse off to the groom and come outside to her.
"Bash!" She ran toward him as soon as he was visible in the door-frame. Throwing her arms around him, she exclaimed again, "Oh, Bash!"
For his part, Bash caught her, but looked confused. "Kenna? What's wrong, why are you out here?"
She had rehearsed how she wanted to start this conversation in her head since leaving the king's chambers, but for some reason, looking at her husband's face, the first words out of her mouth were, "he kissed me."
Bash's face immediately turned murderous. After a pause, he clarified, "Am I to understand that you've just told me Antoine kissed you?"
Kenna back up a few paces, "y-yes. Obviously there's more to the story, and I don't know why I started with that. I-" She stopped speaking, rarely had he looked so angry.
Bash strode around her, toward the castle entrance. Kenna started off after him and tried to quicken her pace to catch up. "Bash, where are you going?"
With barely a glance over his shoulder, Bash replied, "I think we had better finish this conversation indoors."
Kenna had twice attempted to restart the conversation on the way to their rooms, but the look Bash threw over his shoulder at her stopped her cold both times. She was almost running to keep up with him, but was still several footfalls behind by the time he reached their door. Ever the gentleman, Bash held the door open for her and placed a hand at the small of her back to usher her inside.
Closing the door behind them, Bash crossed his arms over his chest while Kenna twisted her necklace nervously between her fingers. She was suddenly unsure how to begin. Bash looked furious and while she wasn't afraid that he would ever physically strike her, the anger seemed a bit frightening.
"Well?" Bash asked expectantly. "You seemed so full of words a few moments ago. Would you care to tell me how you came to be in the private presence of a man who I've warned you," he took a step toward her, "repeatedly" another step, voice rising, "wants to destroy me," they were toe to toe now, "and take everything from me," he gripped her upper arms, "including you?"
Kenna bowed her head. Bash had indeed warned her that Antoine wanted her, wanted to take her from Bash. And hadn't Antoine himself said that he wanted to take her from Bash? She had grown so much since the days that she had let Henry use her, but she was still such a stupid, young girl.
Even though she was not meeting his eyes, she could feel her husband's gaze boring into her. In a small voice, full of shame to be telling him this, she said, "He asked me to be his queen." She raised her head and shook the hair out of her face, as she felt his grip slacken, "His wife is dying and he asked me to be his queen when she does."
Bash released her and turned away from her, "And you believed him." It wasn't an accusation or a question, it just… was. Although Kenna could see the fight seeping out of him. This conversation was not going at all how she had wanted it to.
"No, I didn't believe him, not at first. Kenna and Bash were standing at opposite sides of the hearth. Bash was staring at the dancing flames and Kenna was staring at Bash.
At her words, Bash's head snapped up, "Not at first? How long has his offer been on the table for you? Why am I just now hearing about this?"
Kenna dropped his gaze and began picking at her nails, "a couple of days."
"And you didn't feel the need to tell me? Or Mary and Francis? Even if you didn't feel the duty to tell me, as your husband about another man wanting to marry you, you should have at least felt the need to tell your queen that a royal was telling you this, given the strained diplomatic relationship with Navarre right now."
Kenna let out an exasperated sigh, "You really can't think of why I haven't told you sooner than this, Bash? We're fighting about our marriage, about the very state of our lives together. Yet you still manage to bring up duty to the crown in it. As if that should really be more important to me." This was supposed to be her apology and her plea for forgiveness, how had this turned into her airing her grievances against him once again?
"I'm sorry but our marriage doesn't seem to be more important to you as you've been keeping secrets from me and entertaining other men while I'm away!" Bash was leaning his arms against the mantel and ran a hand over his face, trying to keep his emotions in check.
Kenna's eyes blazed, "That's not fair. I know he's trying to manipulate me away from you, we've discussed this and I'm not stupid. But you knew where I was the entire time I was arranging and decorating for that party. You knew exactly where to find me and so did everyone else. There was nothing underhanded going on with my presence there. I honestly thought that he had sent a page to you with my note. I had no idea until you got there that you had never received it. I've been put in an awkward situation with a king," Kenna closed the distance between them, "who is playing on my insecurities of my husband," Kenna shoved him, "never being home!"
She shoved him again, as the tears started to flow down her cheeks, and he let her, just once more before gripping her wrists so that she couldn't reach him again, "Kenna, don't you blame your infidelity on my absence. We've both made choices here."
Though tears were still pooled in her eyes, Kenna spoke strongly through them, her voice unwavering, "My choice was to talk to him, his choice was to kiss me when I wasn't expecting it." She jerked at her hands and was surprised when they came free, almost stumbling. If he hadn't wanted her to get free, she certainly wouldn't have been able to. "My next choice was to run from his room and to go find you. The only time between his kissing me and me finding you in the stables was the time it took for you to get there."
Kenna turned away from him. She hated that she was crying in front of him. Then she realized that she hated hating that. He was her husband. She should feel comfortable with him no matter her emotional state.
Bash didn't force her to turn toward him, but chose instead to address the back of her head. "Which brings us back, dear wife," the word dripped from his lips with heavy irony, "to what were you doing alone with him in his room?" Kenna heard Bash sink onto the bed. Turning, she saw his head in his hands. Clearly, he didn't like the nature of the conversation either.
Feeling drained herself, she pulled the chair out from her vanity and dropped to the cushioned seat. "I went to tell him that his behavior was inappropriate and that it had to stop, initially."
His head lifted, meeting her eyes. The earlier fight was all but extinguished. His face showed pain. "Initially." The word fell from his lips on a whisper. If the room hadn't been silent apart from the crackle of the fire, Kenna wouldn't have heard it.
Kenna twisted the ring on her finger, the small ring that Bash had given her as a wedding ring, "yes." She looked down, unable to continue while looking at him. "Then I looked around the room and I started to imagine myself as a queen, on equal standing with Mary. But I couldn't get very far along that train of thought because of you. I reminded him that I am married to you. That he and I are both married. He countered saying that his wife is dying and that our marriage is the result of a mad king forcing us and could certainly be annulled."
Kenna could see how deeply the words wounded Bash. Tears that he would never let fall were shining in his eyes. "We began that way, and we've been having a rough go of it recently, but I thought our marriage had grown to be so much more than that. It has for me, Kenna." The venom returned to his voice as he pushed himself off of the bed. "I thought I meant more to you than shiny jewels and fancy baubles do." He walked swiftly toward the door.
Kenna barely made it out of her seat to be able to catch his arm before he reached the threshold. "Bash, if I disagreed with you, wouldn't I have stayed with him instead of coming to find you?" She moved around his stiff form to try to speak face to face. She placed both her hands carefully on either side of his face, with the intention of forcing him to lock eyes with her, but was met with little success. "Bash, please, look at me," she allowed the pleading tone of her voice to be colored with the growing sense of despair in her heart. He looked expectantly down at her. "Our marriage is the most important thing in my life right now." She twisted her right hand into his dark hair, flipping the locks through her fingers. "I love you. Please, look at me and actually see me. Believe me."
Bash turned from her, her fingers sliding from his hair. He returned to his earlier seat on their bed- ha, their bed, they rarely shared it anymore-and hung his head. His words were spoken to the floor, his hands in his hair, pulling at it in frustration.
"He doesn't actually want to marry you, Kenna. You must see that! He wants to destroy my life because I took the livelihood of his brother." Bash dropped his hands and straightened to look up at Kenna, still standing near the door, seemingly afraid to come closer, "But the fact that I need to say that to you, that I need to convince my wife that she should not leave me for another man, is insulting."
Kenna quickly strode to stand in front of him. She placed her hands on his shoulders and he allowed it. Her words came out stern, "You haven't heard a positive word I've said about you or our marriage, have you? I'm trying to explain the situation and apologize, to beg you to not leave me! Yet you're sitting here talking like I'm two steps out the door already." She knelt in front of his parted legs, he couldn't star at the floor to avoid her eyes, "I went to him to reject his offer, whether it was a genuine offer or not, my intention was to reject it and him. I was turning to leave when he grabbed me and kissed me. Suddenly it was like I was back in your father's chambers after he'd started to go mad and I felt so weak and so trapped. I shut down until he released me and then I ran. I ran to you. Even before we liked each other, you were protecting me. You've always protected me."
Bash gave no response, he still looked as though he didn't believe her.
Kenna had a sudden realization. She stood, took a seat next to him on the mattress, and took his hand in both of her own, "this is about Mary isn't it?"
Bash stiffened and she was sure that she was on to something. "Leave Mary out of this. This is our marriage, Kenna, and these are our problems."
Kenna shifted her grip from his hand to his upper arm and she leaned against him. "But part of your mistrust stems from what happened with her. She chose another man, a royal man, over you and you're sure I'm going to do the same. I'm not, Bash, I'm just not. Mary and I aren't the same. I know that you know that, in the early days of our marriage, I know that all you saw were the differences. But in this case, we are very different. She is a queen, bound by duty to behave a certain way. And because of that, she often ends up, even unintentionally, using men. Whereas I've allowed myself to be used by men. This marriage isn't about obligation anymore, not to me. I don't want to lose it. I don't want to lose you."
Standing, Bash pulled her to her feet. "Then you won't. Our lives are always going to be difficult and I will never be able to give you the life of a Noblewoman, with all the finery and parties, but you'll have me. When I'm away, know that I want to be with you. When I'm here, know that I'm always just a moment from your side. I'll get jealous, that's who I am. You're right that the scars from my past play a role in that."
Bash pulled her toward the door, "Come, wife," he said the word with a smile for the first time that day, "there's a dinner yet tonight and I want Antoine to see that he's only made my marriage stronger and that he can't have you, no one else can." Kenna's giggle quickly grew louder as he wound an arm around her waist and kissed her deeply before they exited the room.