(-Ella)

What should have been a simple doctors visit turned into a nightmare for me. Holding that slip of paper, my world turning upside down in a matter of seconds as the words written on that paper churned and spiraled, making it impossible to focus.

It was possibly the worst day of my life, if not the world.

"Hey," He said, sitting beside me in the car, spoke softly to get my attention from the paper I was holding. I barely spared him a glance. "It's not the end of the world. I won't let them hurt you again."

This reminded me heavily of the place between sleep and being awake, drifting aimlessly into nothing before you hit something solid. I knew what was real, and what wasn't, but it couldn't see past those dark clouds hovering over their faces. It was always certain people, or certain things that were covered, mostly their hands or their eyes. I could tell who I couldn't trust from who I could befriend.

I sighed, resting my head against the velvet car seat as I watched the city pass by beside me, almost feeling empty and apathetic. The grey landscape turned to violent colors as we circled around the large wall surrounding our city, almost tracing around the line between living and knowing what was beyond this wall.

It was a limestone, wobbly colored wall that rose as high as the clouds and the mountains in the distance. If I were to climb up the highest building and peer over the wall, all I could see was a dark mist covering the other side, as if it didn't want me to see what was over there.

Besides the dark ominous atmosphere and the covered people, it was almost peaceful as if serene and quiet was a thing in this useless city.

The sky was clouded with a pretty view, the sun shone bright over my shoulders, and warmed me up from the chill settling in my core. The wind wrapped around my hair, loose over my shoulders, but it also protected me from my truth, and from my curiosity.

Whatever was over that wall was hidden for a reason.

This day was almost over as soon as it had started, but I was heavily anticipating tomorrow morning. With this loose blanket wrapped around my shoulders, a hot cup of the worst tea in my life in my hands, and the heavy atmosphere surrounding the truth shrouding me in a dark setting, I hesitantly write, and write and write about what is coming, and what happened.

He told me that it was going to happen anyway, and that he was just lucky to find me before anything else happened. As if this wasn't already the worst birthday of my life, it was also the worst moment to fall in love. Helplessly, in fact, but altogether rushing in like a tough wave crashing on the shore.

Just like this heavy atmosphere, that truth set in, and now that I had accepted this fact, it will only make my life worse.

If I lead up to this truth from the very beginning, it would only fill this entire journal.

I guess it's worth the price for their reaction.

But, I know when it started, and it started pleasantly.

The eve of my birthday was quiet, but it was also spent sitting in the passenger seat of a car.

Not his, but rather my guardian, who he only named Zeus, the man who had adopted me and five other children.

That paper I was holding gave my life the death sentence of ever hoping for a normal chance at life.

"It just means I have to work harder." I replied, setting the paper back into its envelope. "That's not true," He said softly, pausing between words to push his focus on driving. "Plenty of kids your age has this same thing."

"Not the same." I said.

"Ella, come on. I promise this isn't as bad as it seems. We're going to get you medicine for this."

"More medicine, great. Just what I need." I sarcastically remarked. I only heard Zeus scoff at my remark. "Young lady," He finally said after a small pause. "I am trying to help you. I took you to a doctor for a reason. We are going to help you as much as we can with this, but I need you to promise me that you won't fight us, okay?"

I didn't reply.

"Ella, come on. Please, don't do this now."

I sighed. "Fine. I will take the medicine if it will make you happy."

"Very good." He said softly. "We're almost home, just hold on a bit. We'll make your favorite for dinner. Sound good?" He reached over and squeezed my hand reassuringly, only to pull it back and grip the steering wheel, his white gloves stretched thin from his grip.

I only ignored his words, but I was more focused on other things than food.

I glanced periodically at the white envelope wedged between my legs, almost threatening me. This had to be a mistake.

Those thoughts continued even when he pulled into the small house I had called home for years, into my room, onto my bed. Even the soft, sweet smelling sheets didn't soothe my thoughts. I pulled my blanket over my head, closing my eyes as I tried not to remember those doctors words.

"Schizophrenia is a recurring thing, now heavily seen in teenagers over the age of thirteen." The voice was muffled, but I could hear his words through that whitewashed door. "Even if she gets medicine for this, she will still see those visions, and from what she told me, those 'clouds'."

"Clouds?" Zeus spoke softly, concerned but curious. "What does she mean by that?"

"She can see the fields around the others, but it's only present in a certain handful of experiments. With our luck, she will grow pout of it and forget about these visions. I recommend a heavy dosage of Vitaili, and it will help her forget."

"Will she ever remember who she was?"

"No. She will never remember those labs."