AN:/ Hello all. This is my first story posted on the site. Michonne is one of my favorite fictional characters and one of the best fictional characters of all time. In light of recent show events, I felt inspired and encouraged from the strength she exuberates. So I wrote this oneshot to honor that. None of the characters are mine, obviously. Thank you so much for reading.
"It's not about us anymore, it's about a future." His words play through her mind.
"Just breathe Michonne, breathe" She sighs.
As her fingers clutch the sides of the white porcelain tub, she focuses on steadying the shaky puffs of air leaving her mouth, as a panic attack threatens to rip its way through her body. Her grief and her fear are the catalysts of her unhinged nerves.
The small plastic test sits on the edge of the sink, slowly and tediously churning out the results to her future. The future her and Rick planned to make. The future he won't ever get to see.
"How can I do this without him?" She thinks.
Shaking her head she looks down, closing her eyes shut as the deep burning pain bores through her. Rising from her stomach, straight to her chest, and into her soul. She wills herself to keep it together, it's been three weeks since that explosion on the bridge. Three weeks of mental and physical turmoil, as her mind and body tried to work through all of the hurt his absence has caused. Her mourning sickness colluding with her morning sickness.
If Maggie and Carol hadn't of gotten her out of bed every morning for the first week after Rick sacrificed himself on that bridge. She doesn't think she would have ever gotten up. But through the help of her family, she gained the will to continue to fight. Like she always has. Judith needed her mommy to be strong for her, so that's what she would do.
Judith, who was so sweet and innocent, had already lost so much in her short life. This wasn't what she deserved. This world was nothing any of them deserved. But she had to keep thriving, she had to keep living. For herself, for her daughter, and for the life she believed resided in her womb.
She rubbed her stomach tentatively, remembering that morning her and Rick decided to continue their lineage. The look of pure admiration and love shone on his face as he offered up the prospect of making a baby with her. She had been a little shocked that he was ready to take that step at the time. The communities in disagreement and Maggie's anger still at large. But how could she say no? She wanted the exact same thing he did. And she was ready to give him anything and everything he wanted, because she knew he was eager to do the same.
"Rick…" She breathes out quietly.
God, how she misses him terribly. His kiss, his warmth, his voice. She knew there was no getting over Rick Grimes.
The huge hole in her heart threatens to swallow her whole every morning she wakes up and sees that he's not there. Sleep is only a short reprieve from the pungent ache of his loss, and she almost wants to let the darkness consume her. A part of her wishes she could let the pain finally take her away. To some semblance of peace…a final resting place for her soul. Though couldn't allow that. She wouldn't allow that.
Her soft dreads slowly move out of her face as she checks the clock on the bathroom wall. It's been three minutes, times up. She slowly stands, pulling the belt on her robe a littler tighter as her bare feet pad towards the sink. Two dark red lines meet her weary brown eyes before she even picks it up.
"I'm pregnant…it's real" Her mind relays.
What she's known is now confirmed. The love of her life, her soulmate, her best friend. His child is growing in her. A strange congealing of heart ache and happiness worm it's way through her body consuming her. She involuntarily let's out harsh gasping sobs as she holds onto the sink, test clattering to the floor. The briny trail of tears scorched down both sides of her soft cheeks, as she let's the joy slowly eat away at the pain.
"And if it's me who doesn't make it, you're going to have to lead the others forward, because you're the one who can." Rick`s kind voice professes through her ears. Remembering his words of encouragement.
She knows hard and tedious days are ahead of her. She has a society to build, laws to make, and two children to take care of. The future she and Rick planned and the new little chess piece they crafted to put on the board. Was now coming to change her whole world forever.
This life had taken a lot away from her, but it has also given her something back. She would fiercely love, revere, and protect her baby by any means within her grasp. She and Rick were warriors. Now their two children would be as well. Their father and brother's legacy living on through them.
She stands up fully, looking into the mirror, her sweet child has already started to make changes in her now fuller face. She smiles softly and lovingly at herself.
"I can do this." She says, assuredly. "For you, for us, for the future."