JAFNF

Prologue

Short, businesslike high heels clicked on a tiled floor. A woman stopped at a doorway, and took a breath. Suddenly, her caucasian skin tone and short blonde hair changed. The woman's legs extended, and her dress seemed to become a skintight, black and pink bodysuit, while her hair turned black and long. Her suddenly grey-skinned hands hit a panel on the wall, and a mechanical hum sounded as the door slid open. The now monstrous figure power walked down the hallway, her steps growing harder in her anger. The siren took a breath as she passed by one door, then another. Upon reaching her destination, the half-fish woman's eyes narrowed, then promptly began to glow. Suddenly, the too short door in front of her blew apart, and she walked in. Significantly shorter people in labcoats all jumped at once, and shook in fear, especially when her pink lips curled into a frown. Betty Crocker felt her neatly manicured hands close around a trident that appeared in midair, and she barely had to see the daemons under her to feel their fear. They'd been at this for years, and despite the tests and thousands of dollars spent working towards their cause, their guess was wrong again, and now another useless half- monster existed in their world. At this point, she didn't care who was responsible for the mistake- she glared at the trembling workers below her, and it was clear that before the day was over, at least one of them would die.

JAFNF Chapter 1

(Wednesday, August 4th)

==== Be the nerdy shy kid.

The raven-haired boy sighed, slumping down in his seat a little more. He scanned the room with his eyes, groaning when he found that his teacher was still not present. The guy was almost ten minutes late. And biology was this young man's favorite subject! The kid sighed and rested his head on his arms. Everyone was talking- no, screaming, and their constant chatter drove him insane. The boy closed his eyes, only comforted by the pitch-black solitude that surrounded him. Unfortunately, it didn't last long, and he sat up at the sound of the door opening.

The ink haired kid squinted as a boy, a few inches taller than him, came striding in. The boy's hair was an extremely light shade of blonde that usually disappeared once children grew older than the age of four. He was golden tan, the male version of a stereotypical California girl, which felt ridiculous to the native Washingtonian. He had the oddest cluster of freckles adorning the center of his poker face, and a strange pair of sunglasses covering his eyes and eyebrows. The sunglasses he wore looked familiar, but John didn't remember why. The boy had probably seen a similar brand somewhere, at one point. They didn't really matter though. His skinny jeans looked excessively tight, and his shirt was bland- a long sleeve shirt with red sleeves, a white torso, and a strange broken record symbol in the center. He became "Tool number 3" and John ignored him in favor of listening to the instructor. "Sorry for being late, class! I had a run in with our new student, but he's too stubborn to remove his glasses. We're going to be playing the greeting game!" He stated, earning a groan from everyone, even the raven-haired boy. Clearly, the teacher didn't care, or was oblivious to the student's dislike of his ice breaker. "Since you're new to our class, I'll explain. The greeting game is when we go around and introduce ourselves, along with one of our hobbies or interests." The teacher explained, but the albino kid just stared at him, making no sign of emotion through his poker face. The teacher, undeterred, smiled again. "I'll go first. My name is Jake English, and I love biology! Your turn!" The kid shuffled before turning his face in the direction of the class. "Uh, okay? My name's Dave-" girls whispering to each other and swooning cut him off. "Strider?" Came his last name, and he sounded confused at their reaction to his voice. "And I like to rap." He muttered, then returned his hands to his pockets. Mr. English beamed. "Fantastic! Okay Mr. Egbert, it's your turn." The raven-haired kid sighed and rearranged his glasses.

"I'm John Egbert-" "Egderp!" Someone shouted, and John glared in the general direction of the interruption. All of the kids here were terrible, and John suddenly wasn't in the mood to tolerate the new kid, who'd likely be shouting similar comments soon enough. "And that's all you need to know about me." He said, emphasizing the "you" in his words. The blonde kid's- Dave's- poker face partially broke and he lifted his eyebrows. John could just barely see them over his large sunglasses. Mr. English sighed, but moved on to the next person. John took one last fleeting glance at the tool across from him. It was quite the coincidence that his name was Dave, much like his friend on pester chum. Then again, not really. David was a common name. He sighed and laid his forehead farther down on his desk, so that he could pull his phone out without getting in trouble. He quickly opened his pester chum app and checked for TurntechGodhead. He wasn't on, so John just left him a message for later.

-ectoBiologist (EB) began pestering turntechGodhead (TG)-

EB: dave! :B

EB: theres a new dave in my class!

EB: so I can see a dave but talk to another dave.

EB: wow too many daves

EB: but I doubt we'll be friends like me and you…

EB: he looks like a douche

EB: anyhow I'm sure you're super busy with your bro and stuff

EB: do you even go to school?

EB: I doubt you do

EB: too busy with puppets or something

EB: …

EB: bye!

-ectoBiologist (EB) ceased pestering turntechGodhead (TG).-

After a few minutes without a response, John locked his phone and looked up at the teacher again. "Okay Dave, since everyone has introduced themselves, you can take the empty seat next to Karkat." Mr. English motioned to the brunette, who looked up, gave the teacher his middle finger, then went back to drawing (badly) on the desk. Dave- who John noted was still staring at him, shrugged and moved into the seat. John had to suppress a groan when he realized the seat was directly in front of his. John already predicted what would happen. He'd become friends with Karkat, and by extension Caliborn, the two banes of his existence. They would proceed to mess with him constantly, and make the remainder of the year more of a nightmare than it already was. He was less than a week into the school year, and once again, it seemed like the world still had it out for John Egbert. The blonde kid was partially blocking his view of the door, and John had to twist in his seat to see the board. Dave instantly slumped down in the chair, checking his texts on the phone and adjusting his sunglasses, from what John could tell. The raven-haired boy honestly didn't care, and sighed in relief when he was able to see the board again. After a minute, Dave straightened and turned in his seat to look at John through his glasses. He seemed to be staring into his soul, and John cringed and tried to avoid looking at his face when his mouth curved into a frown.

"Aw man. Do I really look like that much of a douche?" He questioned. John looked at him, confusion clear in his face.

"What?" Dave sighed and looked down at his phone. Apparently, he didn't care that he risked drawing the class's attention. After verifying that the words were indeed there, he pushed his phone near John's face.

"EB said I look like a douche." John blinked uncomprehendingly. There were his words, written in blue. Realization and horror controlled his features as he stuttered.

"T-Turntech Godhead?" The albino smirked.

"That's me, Dave Strider in the flesh. No doubt I'm as cool as you expected." He spoke, his added wink invisible due to his shades.

"What are you doing here?" John asked, bewilderingly looking from the phone to the taller male in front of him. Dave shrugged nonchalantly.

"My bro got some new DJ job in this town. He seemed like he was kind of in a hurry to get here, so we packed up our shit over night and moved, which lead me to your school, looking like a douche." He stated, raising an eyebrow in concern at his friend's face. "You okay there, John?"

"Oh." John breathed out. "I'm okay, I guess I'm just kind of- in shock?" He blabbered, feeling awful. His words were inaudible, but he didn't notice or care. Here Dave was, his best friend, and he judged him on looks alone. He had always wanted to meet his friends in real life, yet now he didn't. Or he did, but not as a surprise? That was probably it. John decided. Dave's smirk returned to his face. He apparently didn't notice John's internal crisis.

"In shock huh? The Strider family tends to have that affect on everyone. The ladies usually have their breaths taken away by me- It's a shame that I don't have time for them." Dave stated dramatically, propping his head on John's desk. His words hardly permeated John's brain, and he felt awful for judging his best friend. He had to apologize, and make it right.

"You-You don't look like a douche." John said quietly, avoiding Dave's face again, this time in favor of looking at the ground. In response, Dave just grinned.

"Fuck if I care, as long as I'm the coolest douche." Dave laughed, drawing John's attention- not that he didn't have it already. "We both already know I am, John." He said, instantly shrugging it off. John smiled, feeling relieved as he looked up at him again, and pulled his sleeves up a little.

"Thanks Dave, and yeah, maybe sometimes." John fell quiet for a minute, and he looked at the boy in front of him. He wanted to marvel at his best friend's presence, but he noticed the boy's face, and looked up suddenly. "Can I ask you a question?" Dave looked back at him coolly, and replied.

"Sup Egbert?" John played with his jacket strings, but looked at him directly in the face as he asked.

"Why don't you want to take you sunglasses off?" He asked, and John saw panic flash across his features for a split second. Immediately after that, Dave's poker face returned to its original stoic state.

"Because I'm clearly a very hot guy, and my eyes are so hot that they'd burn you, laser vision style." He said, smirking to make it seem like a joke. John laughed at the obvious lie, and he wanted a real answer, but Dave's words distracted him before he could request one. "So, since you, aka my best bro is here, we're obviously going to hang out at my place after school, right?" He said, smirking and staring at John through his sunglasses. John had to hide a cringe. He was going to go hang out, with Dave. Although he was super excited, he hadn't been to anyone's house since preschool, and that was on a forced play date with his father's coworker. Still though, he had been waiting for an opportunity to hang out with Dave, Rose, and/or Jade for a couple of years now and there was no way he could say no. John felt himself warm to the idea almost instantly, and his response showed it.

"Sure!" He said excitedly. Dave laughed. "Slow down boy, don't you need to ask your dad first?" John's excitement disappeared, and Dave immediately regretted his words.

"Not really, he's never really home." John looked down, a little anger in his tone. "And when he is home, he never talks to me anyway. You know that Dave." John's voice seemed genuinely upset, and the boy habitually pulled his sleeves down. Dave regretted mentioning the sensitive topic- usually, he would have filtered himself a little more on pester chum. An apology was in order, and Dave felt no qualms about offering one.

"Oh man, I'm sorry, I forgot. It's just weird seeing you here, or in real life I guess." He explained his mistake, and John clearly understood. Before they could pause in conversation for too long though, Dave spoke up in excitement. "But I guess that means you're going to the Strider home tonight! I mean, we're not completely unpacked and shit, but it's still cool." John opened his mouth to respond when a throat clearing sound came from the front of the room.

"Mr. Strider. I don't mean to interrupt you, but we're well into the start of class." Mr. English said, a stern, if slightly effeminate hand placed on his hip. The class giggled, for no other reason than the fact that they were all stupid high school kids, but for once, the sound didn't bother John. He finally had an actual, real life friend.

AN: Hello everyone! I hope you enjoyed (or at least didn't completely hate) this first chapter! Thank you so much Saltymastermemester for letting me continue the story, you're the best! Expect a variety of updates, and OFTEN ones, at that. I'm always looking for ways to improve my writing, (constructive criticism is totally fantastic!) so leave a review! I mean, if you want. You don't have to. I mean, I can't force you to do that, nor would I if I had that ability, but it would help a lot. Oh, and expect like 2 chapters a week, or like 4 if the chapters are 4 pages long. But, they get longer as the story goes on. Yeah. It's just formatting it on AO3 and FFN that's gross, but whatever. Also, I ask questions sometimes at the end of chapters, because I love getting to know who's reading, and other members of the fandom. So, I'll start easy. What's your sign, and are you like the ((beta)) troll it represents? If so, what attributes do you share? Okay, I'm done for now. Have a nice day!

ST OUT!