Disclaimer: Don't own Tomb Raider or Bridget Jones's Diarybut I had fun manipulating them.
Secret Diary of Lara Croft. If you touch it you will be stabbed violently with a fork.
1:00pm – Am bored. Have done assault course five times. All Winston does is waddle around with tea tray. Have managed to get through two boxes of ammo on target range. Targets looking right state. Bits of target all over lawn. Will do quad biking now.
1:30pm – Have made a bit of a mess of quad bike. V. muddy. Will leave it for Winston to clean.
1:31pm – Cannot help but feel this is a bit mean though.
1:32 pm – Will clean it myself.
2:00pm – Need to order groceries from shop. Will write post-it note and leave it on desk in hope that Winston will see it.
2:05pm – Think will have shower, then change clothes.
2:30pm – Hair has gone wild. Is all spiky because self abandoned it to clean pistols. Is not own fault that pistols were dirty.
2:31pm – Actually probably was.
2:33pm – Will attend to hair.
2:45pm – Hair is now in braid, but still looks spiky. Noticed Winston smirk as walked by. Cannot sufficiently raid tombs if hair is wild and all over face. Will not be able to see mummies properly. Think will –
3:00pm – Was telephone. Jean-Yves calling from Alexandria. He's found interesting artefact for me to find. Am going to India. Will leave tomorrow.
3:05pm – Must cancel milk.
3:20pm – Think will go and research artefact.
4:00pm – Artefact is called Infada Stone. Is unique. Think will donate it to British Museum.
4:10pm – Hope Alex West does not turn up. Always turns into competition. Not good for average Tomb Raider.