Neal wasn't sure why he was standing on the Burke's porch, as he hesitantly reached for the doorbell. So Peter had called in sick; he had the right and it didn't happen often. Yet the whispers around the water cooler had bothered Neal; that Peter had called in because the Yankees had lost the series to the Tigers. Though Neal wasn't a sports fan there were many long faces at work and it was extremely uncomfortable. And it didn't help that Blake, an obvious Mets fan, grinned evilly at anyone who dared look his way.
But Peter wouldn't call in sick. He'd be grouchy and yelling but he wouldn't call in sick, Neal was sure of that and the little voice in his head told him to check on his partner. He rang the bell and waited.
"Neal, what are doing here?" Elizabeth asked without motioning Neal inside.
"I came to see Peter. Is he ok?"
Elizabeth nodded slightly but still didn't invite Neal in and wouldn't look him in the eyes.
"Elizabeth, please let me in." Elizabeth looked over her shoulder and then back at Neal, before opening the door wider and stepping aside. Peter was seated in his usual chair staring blankly at the TV with a bottle of beer hanging loosely from his right hand. Neal glanced at Elizabeth but she only shrugged her shoulders and looked away.
"Peter?" Neal asked cautiously as he took a step closer to the agent. He knelt down next to the chair and glanced at his partner, who didn't acknowledge the younger man's presence.
"Hey" Neal muttered as he grabbed the beer and finally Peter seemed to move beyond his stupor and eyed Neal angrily.
"What are doing here?"
"Checking on you" Neal spit out as he put the bottle on the floor and studied his partner. "Is this all because the Yankees lost last night?"
"Neal, go home. No one invited you here." There was anger in Peter's voice that Neal hadn't heard in a while and he shuddered briefly as the memories of that day came flooding back. But they had moved on... beyond the treasure and Keller and some days it seemed like things were back to normal; or as normal as it could be considering all that had transpired.
"Peter, you're my partner..." Neal paused, rethinking his approach. "You're my friend" he stated firmly, "and if something is wrong you can talk to me." Peter closed his eyes and for a brief moment Neal thought he was sleeping.
"Peter, it's just a game" Neal whispered.
"It's more than a game to me" Peter countered, and for the first time Neal noticed his blood shot eyes. "They had to make it to the World Series..." Peter's voice trailed off.
"Why? Peter, there's always next year."
"No." Peter shook his head as Neal stood; his eyes wide with fear. "Peter, are you ok? Are you sick?" The words came tumbling out of the ex con's mouth.
"Not me" Peter answered and Neal allowed himself to breathe.
"My dad and I have gone to every series since I was a kid. And I promised him one more and it's not going to happen."
"Peter, did something happen to your dad?" They rarely talked about their families but occasionally Peter would bring up his dad and Neal always figured they were close.
"He's been fighting cancer for a few years" Peter explained quietly, "and last month they said it was terminal." He briefly met Neal's gaze before glancing at the TV. "They said weeks, maybe a month or two and I wanted him to have something to look forward to." Peter sighed, and then swiped at his eyes. "Somehow I was going to get him to the game."
"I'm sorry" Neal said for lack of anything better to say.
"We didn't have any extra money but he always found a way to get two tickets and there was nothing like it." Peter smiled weakly. "Later I found out he was working double shifts just to afford them." Peter stood and took one stumbling step. He turned and faced his partner. "We didn't make it two years ago because he was in the hospital and we made a pact that we'd go to the next one." Peter reached for the beer and staggered towards the kitchen with Neal in tow. He poured the remainder into the sink and tossed the bottle into the garbage.
"Peter, do you know how lucky you are?" The agent stared at him blankly.
"You have all these memories of your dad and I don't even know mine. I'd give anything to have just one memory like that." Neal hadn't meant to sound angry but he couldn't help himself; Peter had the right to feel sorry for himself but he had to know not everyone had what he did.
"Peter, I'm sorry but one missed game isn't going to change the relationship you and your dad have. It's not important and you know it." Peter continued to stare at Neal and finally he gave a grateful nod.
"You're right" the agent quietly said. Peter leaned against the counter and stared at the floor.
"Are you taking time off?" Neal asked to break the silence.
"When it gets closer" Peter answered.
"You will tell me right?" Neal didn't elaborate but Peter understood. "I'll ask Jones if he can accompany you to the funeral."
"I should go" Neal said a few minutes later. "Are you going to work Monday?"
Peter nodded and then silently walked Neal to the door. "Thanks for stopping by" he said and briefly watched the young man walk away.
Neal glanced up, towards Peter's office. The agent had shown up as promised and acted normal, like Friday hadn't happened. After the briefing he had given Neal some work and sent him away before the ex con had had a chance to open his mouth and ask how he was. Neal stood and grabbed the finished files and headed towards Peter's office.
"I'm done" he announced as he placed the files on the desk. "Peter, are you ok?"
"Fine" Peter answered crisply and waved Neal out of the office.
"Yeah, real fine" Neal muttered but he didn't budge. He took something out of his pocket and tossed them on the desk. "The Ranger's first home game is next Saturday and I thought we could go together."
Peter silently picked up the tickets and stared at them as his hands shook slightly. He wanted to say something but he was too emotional and the last thing he wanted was to lose his composure in front of his team.
Neal understood and slowly backed out of the office, allowing Peter the time he needed. Thirty minutes later Peter stormed out of his office and told Neal to follow him. They were both silent until they were inside Peter's car.
"Are we going somewhere?" Neal asked when Peter slumped back in the driver's seat.
"This" Peter said, as he waved the tickets at Neal. "This can't happen. " Peter paused, taking in his friend's anguished look. He smiled weakly and his face softened with a small sigh.
"You don't want to go?" Neal shifted uncomfortably in the passenger seat as he lowered his head to avoid Peter's stare.
"Hey!" Peter reached over and lightly tapped Neal's shoulder. "Of course I want to go." He stared at the tickets. "This means more than I can say and I do appreciate it, really. Neal, look at me."
Slowly the ex con raised his head and met Peter's gaze with an apprehensive look. Peter smiled, the first genuine one in days...though the tears threatening to escape marred the appearance. "Neal..." Peter turned away and squeezed his eyes tight. He took a couple of deep breaths and wiped away the tears that managed to roll down his cheeks.
"Ever since my dad told me..." Peter paused again and leaned back, shuddering slightly when he felt a hand gripped his shoulder. It was several minutes before Peter could speak again.
"In there, no grand gestures or asking me how I am..."
"Status quo" Neal mumbled as he interrupted the agent.
"That's how it has to be" Peter stated in a stronger voice. "Besides you and Hughes, no one knows...I will tell them when I choose."
"What about here?"
Peter shrugged. "I never thought I'd be this emotional..." He shrugged again as he fingered the tickets and stared at them. "Neal, these are really good seats. Have you ever been to a hockey game?"
Neal shook his head no.
"It will be fun." He tucked the tickets safely in his jacket pocket. "We're going up to see my dad on Sunday. Do you want to stay over after the game and go with us?"
"I don't know."
"Come on Neal. You should meet the man before you go to his funeral." Peter chuckled briefly. "He's in good spirits and doing ok at the moment. Besides, he might like your hat tricks."
"Really?" Neal perked up. "Are you sure you want me to meet him?"
"Yeah, I'm sure." Peter started the car. "Are you hungry?" he asked.
Neal wasn't but it was obvious Peter needed to get out.
"Coffee sounds great" the ex con said. "And I know a place that has great scones..."
"I was thinking donuts" Peter interrupted and he could imagine Neal rolling his eyes.
"My car, my decision" Peter said as he turned the corner.
"Always is" Neal put forth with a bit of sarcasm.
"I have the badge" Peter countered.
"So you always tell me" Neal said as he settled back and looked out the window, knowing they both were trying a little too hard to get back to normal.
Peter pulled into the nearest Dunkin Donuts and turned the car off. "Neal, you're the best partner I've ever had and don't forget that." He shot out of the car; leaving Neal alone to ponder that statement. Several minutes later Neal followed, suddenly hungry for an ordinary donut.