Proven Wrong
Summary: Remus has spent six months locked in his flat, thinking of what he had and what he lost. Alastor has spent that much time trying to locate him and when he does, he is astounded to find the living conditions and the condition of his old student. This is a companion piece to my story "A Misunderstanding." Not Slash. More diving into the friendship between Moody and Remus.
Disclaimer: I do not own the Harry Potter characters or story. I make no monetary gain from my fanfictions.
Warnings: Just a few curse words.
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Memories are all we have sometimes. Memories of the past, the beauty of finding friends that accept you without question, and being proven wrong. No one likes to be proven wrong yet once in a great while, it's necessary and should be done. It's painful to think that you can lose it all in a matter of a few minutes. I had that fear for three years before my three best mates that were more like family to me found out my secret. I was quite happy to be proven wrong. It could have been worse. It can always be worse. Being incorrigible pranksters that they are, they messed with my mind when they confronted that secret. First, James came to me with a wooden stake in his hand while Sirius had a handful of garlic. Peter overdramatically commented about my canine teeth looking like fangs. I looked at them utterly confused. I still shake my head when I think about it.
They purposely brought items to kill a vampire. I said, "I'm not a vampire. I'm a werewolf ".
In fact, I have been infected with lycanthropy since I was four years old. I told them they had the wrong magical being, that I was a werewolf. Sirius grinned that amazing smile and said, "Finally got you to admit it mate!"
James tossed the stake to the side and shook his head, making the dark messy locks move, "So you got a furry little problem. I have problems with my hair. I can't do a thing with it."
"Oh but you look so dashing. I like that 'just off the broomstick' look," Sirius said with a flirtatious wink.
"But sometimes, I wish I could just get it to look like yours. The curls are so gorgeous!" James said with a squeal and stretched out a hand to touch Sirius' locks.
Sirius smirked and slapped the offending hand away, "You cad! Don't you go trying to woo me."
"But - but, Sirius! My love!"
"James? What are you doing?" Remus said with a straight face.
"Just messing-"
"No, I mean. What are you doing? You're supposed to be smitten by me? Now I find that you're cheating!"
"Remus!" Sirius exclaimed.
"Yes?"
"We were supposed to be together! Oh the agony!"
"Don't worry, darlin'. I still love you."
"What an odd love triangle. But we will find out the truth!" Peter said as he spoke into his wand like a microphone. "Mr. Lupin. How long have you been having your affair with Sirius?"
That morning went from serious to absolute insanity in about six point zero seconds and I couldn't believe it. They got me to admit it to them, giving me yet another chance to come clean, and I had no real choice. They were always sly like that. Peter nodded in confirmation, stating that I'd never be left alone. When I asked them how they found out, they simply said they'd worked it out. They had logged the days I'd disappear, coming back looking like death, and would be rather moody. At first, they thought I was pretending to be a boy but things didn't completely add up to support that theory. The single reason they entertained it was I have this insane addiction to chocolate. When Sirius walked in on me one morning as I showered before classes, he was able to debunk that theory.
So, that's how they confronted me and got me to admit this damnable problem to them. I must say, they were creative. We were inseparable. I love them. I still wish I could have a chat with Sirius. I want to know what the bloody hell happened. Why he would betray us all like that. It makes no sense. I feel my heart breaking when I think about them because it always leads to this chain of thoughts. The love and brotherhood we shared, the happiness of being accepted, and then the night they died. It happened just six months ago. Six months since I've lived alone. Sirius and I lived together. I couldn't pay much but he was fine with that. I can cook quite well and he said as long as I did that, then we were even.
Things could always be worse. I mean, you could be sitting in an West End flat, drinking your last drop of whiskey, and the dirt under your fingernails seems to be the only thing remotely interesting. The only living arrangements I can afford at the moment. My flat isn't much but it used to be a lot more. It's a basement with a brown leather couch, which I'm currently laying on, that has the stuffing poking out of random holes. I found it tossed to the side along with someone's rubbish. It's comfortable and affordable, meaning it was free.
James and Lily, bless them, had left me a bit of money in their will. In a moment of anger, I took all of Sirius' belongings and either pawned them or sold them in a rummage sale. I have enough to last me awhile and plan on letting it stretch as long as possible. It pays the rent and allows me to do exactly what I'm doing at the moment. Closing myself off.
As selfish and weak as it sounds, I don't want to be around other people and that's how it's been for half a year. When the news of my friends' demise reached my ears, I was immediately brought in for questioning. Remus John Lupin doesn't exist when at the Ministry and under Auror scrutiny. No, only Number 47812 exists. After three days of relentless questioning and checking over every scar I had on my body, I was finally released and determined innocent. They ran diagnostics on my wand which only showed that I had set up the wards in this basement to transform the night of the murders and ultimate betrayal. I wish I hadn't of had that burden or I might have been able to save them all. If wishes were horses, eh?
So, here I am. I have tried to find a job but not every day. I don't want to go out. I need to, however, so I can get more whiskey. This is my last drop. right. here, I think to myself as I drain the flask. I need to shower and shave. I've got three day stubble and should try to look presentable. Does it truly matter? The only thing that matters if I can manage to walk to the door without falling on my face. Then, I need to walk down to the corner store and make sure I have enough of this amazing elixir so I can stop remembering. It's wearing off and it's ghastly when you wake up with barely a sip of it. I am conscious of it no longer having an effect on me because I am realizing that the apartment could do with a cleaning and my books are all over the place. When was the last time I swept? Bugger. I close my eyes and lay upside down on the brown couch, my head dangling over the edge in an undignified fashion. My long legs are over the back of the couch and I'm on my back, looking up at the ceiling and then at my feet which are planted firmly on the drywall. My jeans fall down to my knees. Thin legs riddled in scars. Stretching them up the wall, I try to get more comfortable. Something is poking me in the back and I have no clue what the blazes it could be. I need to stop opening my eyes. I need to clean the apartment and myself. I need...
The banging in my head to stop. It sounds so loud and obnoxious. Hangovers are very much a reality if you choose to drink but, by Merlin's beard, I've never had the noises so close to being tangible. I drop the bottle to the ground and place my hands over my ears. I truly feel that my brain is going to explode and ooze out of my ears, bugger it all.
A sharp pain spreads over my chest. Closing my eyes tight, I am becoming even more concerned with the fact that the pain is starting to manifest itself into a being and physically touch and annoy me mercilessly. The conundrum is becoming more alarming when I feel pressure on my slender wrists, prying my hands away from my ears. I crack open my left eye with a groan, fearing that either I will see something to explain this insanity or that there will be nothing there. I'm not sure which would be worse until I open the eyes of the source of the noise and whatever it is applying pressure to my hands.
"Boy, what are you doing?"
"I. I'm. Nothing. How did-"
"Well, that is very obvious. Do you have any idea how long it's taken me to locate you?"
"I didn't know I was being sought after?" I said as I arched my neck to the left, trying to get a better view of the man above me. Half hangover still hasn't prepared me for the blue eye spinning in the man's skull. Great, a headache of this magnitude plus Alastor Moody equals an interesting start to the morning. "Good morning, Moody."
"It's not morning. It's mid afternoon. Your coffee table is full of Owl Mail, ones that I have written you."
"Oh. I haven't gotten around to reading them."
"They are open. Don't lie to me, boy."
"What brings you here, Moody?"
Mad-Eye groaned in frustration and released my hands, which they fell limply to the side. Alastor looked down at me and I was in a peculiar position. Think of it as a sort of upside crucify form. Moody took in the sight of my person. He's very good at noting details and I'm sure he sees my long light brown hair which is uncombed, face unshaven, and a very unflattering stain on my Ramones' T-Shirt. I'm sure he's also noticed that I was living, for lack of the ability to be tactful about this, in filth. The flat was in such a disarray, cobwebs in the corners, books all over the place, and it smelled rancid. Opened take away food was the source of this scent. I was stolen away from my thoughts with that gruff voice, "It's not for pleasure. I haven't heard from you in months. Get up from the bloody couch, Lupin before I haul you up myself. I don't want to talk to your upside down head."
"Well, with all due respect, you don't have to talk to me at all. You're free to leave whenever you wish."
"Now that I found you, you're not getting rid of me that easy," Moody said as he leaned forward and grasped me by the shirt, heaving me up from the couch.
"I was comfortable you old codger," I complained as I attempted to find my bearings. My foot landed right on a stray chopstick and I winced in pain, kicking the offending object under the coffee table. "Ouch!"
"If you'd clean up this pig sty, you wouldn't have that problem."
"Are you coming to critique my housekeeping skills or did you want something?" I snapped back a bit harsher than I intended. Perhaps I should care but I really don't. He woke me up. Rather, he heaved me up and made me get up. In any case, I would rather not be disturbed and he is disturbing me. I went ahead and side stepped Moody, walking towards the coat closet to find my shoes. If I just get out of his presence, maybe he'll take the hint I don't wish to be bothered. I have to get my whiskey after all. My shoes weren't in the closet so I slammed the door. I looked around the flat and saw one of my trainers on the stovetop and the other dangling from the ceiling fan. I wonder how the blazes they got up there.
"I want something. I want you to get your head out of your arse, boy. You're letting yourself go." Moody walked over to me and shadowed my every move as I attempted to put one shoe from the stove. I continued my pursuit of the dangling trainer from the fan. Yes, I'm rather tall but the ceiling is, too.
"I'm perfectly fine, Mad-Eye. You don't have to worry about me." I clenched my jaw as I jumped up and down, trying to get the shoe. Damned thing.
I could feel Mad-Eye watching as I proved that I couldn't jump worth a shit. He lifted his wand and aimed it at the shoe, levitating it down to me. "Where's your wand?"
I snatched the shoe and turned around, raising my other leg up to put it on. "I'm not sure."
Mad-Eye saw the long wand poking out of his back jean pocket. He flicked his wand, incanting the spell to give Lupin a sharp slap on his backside. "It's there."
I stood up straight, rubbing the smarting area with a yelp. What the bloody hell is this man playing at, smacking me on the backside. I'm not a damned child, "Did you have to do that?"
"What did I teach you in Defense against the Dark Arts? And your Auror Training? Never put your wand in your back pocket or you'll lose your arse."
I rolled my eyes at his comment. Yes, yes. All that wonderful training was a lot of help, indeed. I only went to several interviews to get a job. I did well at each of them until they saw the note I am legally bound to say I am a werewolf. A few hired me but then had to let me go when it was found of my lycanthropy by co-workers. Whatever. I am fine for now. Really, I am. I can live like this for a few years. I don't need anybody. "Well, lot of good that training did. They were going to hire me as soon as it was done." Again, I was rather snappy but I'm starting to care less and less. Moody came here of his own accord and I'm not sure how he even found me.
"There is no need to take that tone with me, boy."
"I don't have time for this, Moody. The war, in case you have missed it, is over. I'm quite useless in the Wizarding world."
"Only because that's your choice. You're not even trying."
I beg your pardon? What the-all right. The part about me caring less and less has now changed to not caring at all. He has no right. "My choice? MY CHOICE? I am scorned wherever I go and you know it. You were there for my 'questioning'. You remember, I'm sure."
"It could have been worse and you know it. I did all I could to make that as painless as possible."
"Oh, the six vials of Veritaserum was painless. It took nearly a month to get the side effects to stop. The dressing down, literally, of me completely naked in front of the inquisitors. Treated exactly like an animal. No, I'm sorry. An animal is treated better than I was handled. The punishment of being something I have no control over. The bloody tattoo on my arse that signifies me as a werewolf. I was fully conscious for that! Being accused of working with Sirius bloody Black in the betrayal of my mates. It was very damned painless!"
I said as I approached my old professor and mentor. I was very much treated as a third rate citizen those few days. I was in a room filled with three women, two training Aurors, Moody, and about five other people. I stood in the middle of the room and was forced nude as they scrutinized every single scar on my body. They took measurements on the scars, no matter the locations, and I was tied to a chair and shoved that truth serum down my throat. It made me sick as hell for days and I thought I was on the verge of death, which to be honest, I would have minded. That tattoo on my backside, which Mad-Eye just smacked me seconds ago, was no walk in the park. I was tied faced down and it was magically imbued upon my flesh. It was a branding, like in old westerns where you see John Wayne branding his cattle. Yes, I suppose it could have been worse. Shaking my head and rolling my eyes, I picked up my coat and headed towards the door. I need whiskey now. I'm starting to remember again, damn it.
"Lupin, you know that it could have-"
"I said I'm done with this conversation. I have to go to the shop. Please, Alastor," I said through clenched teeth, "forget about me. I put up my own wards and am doing. just. fine. In your department, I'm not Lupin or Remus. I'm number 47812."
"I had no choice and those times were hard for us all-"
"Yes, they were hard. They were damned difficult. It's over now and I will always remember it. I will never forget. That's the entire bloody problem. I remember too much," I said as I stepped closer to the door. I'm so very much finished with this inane conversation. We all have a choice. I choose to either lock myself up once or month or not. I might be depressed but I'm still not so far gone I'd put anyone else at risk of being bitten by myself.
"You've changed."
I stopped dead still and Alastor stared at my back. How do I know this? I remembered not too long ago, being a young man in his classroom. The day he confronted and questioned me about my lycanthropy. I was terrified that day but I didn't run. It was physically impossible for me to run. I wouldn't have anyway because I needed to prove to him I wasn't a monster. I'm not. All these memories are starting to get jumbled together and mesh into one. If I turn around, I hope that he hasn't his wand at the ready. I'm not in the mood for déjà vu. When I turned, Alastor was leaned on the cane that I gave him that day. I asked, "What is that supposed to mean?"
"I remember a young man that had his entire life ahead of him. Smart, brilliant. Now, I see a coward."
"Coward?" I whispered. Coward. I might be a lot of things. That's not one of them. I furrowed my brow and took a step closer to him, limping because of this slow right knee.
"Yes. A coward. You're running from me and everyone else that gives a damn about you, boy."
I balled my fists and turned around to face my accuser. How dare he. "If I changed, it's because I don't look at the world through rose tinted glasses any longer. I'm no coward, old man."
"What happened to the boy I taught? What happened to the thirst for knowledge, to go against the grain? All I see now is someone who runs from their problems."
"In case you haven't noticed, I lost everyone that night that gave a damn about me. I am not running. I have-"
"In case you haven't noticed, I'm standing right in front of you, you ungrateful brat!"
"You have a funny way of showing you care!" Right funny way of showing. Breaking into my flat, accusing me of this malarkey, calling me a coward. Overseeing my questioning. So humiliating. What the hell?
"I told you, I had to do that. I made sure that you were as safe as I could make you while you were questioned. Do you even realize that?"
"Oh really now?"
"They wanted to use silver chains. Did you have silver even shown to you?"
"Well, no but-" They wanted to put silver on me? They hadn't and thinking now on it, I'm gob smacked they didn't. That would have placed scars on me that would take ages to get over.
"Remus John Lupin. You look and listen to me real good, I'm only saying this once." And I did. I rose my eyes to look him directly in the eye. I swallowed hard and listened. He used that tone of voice when I knew, under no circumstances, he wouldn't want to be interrupted.
"I've known you since you were a boy at Hogwarts. I taught you. If it hadn't been for you, I'd have lost both my legs. You got Bellatrix off of me during that last battle we were in together with the Deatheaters. You can't live like this, you stubborn fool."
"Why does it bother you how I live?" I don't know why I asked that question, it slipped. I jumped when Moody's voice grew louder and he took a step closer. He limped worse and I noticed, remembered, that he now had a wooden leg. It would have been worse if I hadn't paid attention and dueled Bellatrix, getting her off of him.
"Look around yourself, boy! It bothers me because I've seen you duel. You're still the only student that has ever bested me. You stood up to me when I threw the Cruciatus curse at you. Twice no less! Do you remember that? Telling me you weren't a monster. You proved that to me. Now, my most promising student is standing in front of me and you're drunk off your arse."
"I'm not drunk. I have a hangover. I was drunk yesterday." To be fair, I heard Sirius say that once and I wanted to lighten the mood up a bit. It was getting very tense in the flat.
"You insufferable smartarse."
"Better than being a dumbarse."
"You are being a dumbarse. You have rubbish everywhere, you reek of alcohol. You've been avoiding me and Dumbledore since that night."
"I lost so much that night."
"You're not the only one that lost that night or any other night of the war. You get up off your arse and you keep living."
"I have no one."
"You still have people."
"But I want them all. I don't have near as many-"
"Lupin. It's the quality of one's convictions that determines one's success, not the number of followers. That and constant vigilance, of course."
I ran a hand through my mussed up hair and closed my eyes. Merlin, I have far too many tangles in this mop of a hair. My right leg was shaking, still affected from the fall so long ago in the Shrieking Shack, and leaned against the door. I knew in my heart of hearts that Moody was right. He was the kind of man that would fight tooth and nail before he showed this side of himself and the logical part of my mind knew this. I swallowed hard and thought on that word he used. Conviction. I used to have so many beliefs. I wanted to prove that I could beat all odds and do whatever I wanted despite my lycanthropy. It was unfortunate but I had friends and I had this man standing in front of me. Even after he left Hogwarts, he sent me letters. I suppose one could say he was like a father to me. I heard him still speaking and locked eyes with him.
"You have spent far too much time and energy showing what you're made of, Lupin. Proving to me, that a werewolf is more than the disease. There is far more to you and I'd fight you myself if it meant that you were forced to realize it."
"I could take you." I felt a smile creep on my face. The man was relentless and he was breaking the wall I'd spent six months building about my heart.
"Is that a challenge, young Lupin?"
"You're not that bad."
"You're going to be that bad if you don't straighten yourself."
"Moody-"
"What is it?"
"I'm afraid." I hated to admit that but it's true. I'm so uncertain anymore and I don't know what's to become of me.
"Merlin's beard, boy. You think you're the only one that's ever been afraid? Shutting yourself up like this and getting drunk off your arse is helping no one. Most importantly, you're not helping yourself."
"It's sometimes easier to forget."
"Remus. Nothing easy is ever worth it. You, of all people, should know that."
I nodded and moved over to the couch, sitting down upright this time and crossed my right leg over the left. The words he spoke were true. As I closed my eyes, I had to know, "So, how long have you been searching for me?"
"Ever since you left the Ministry after the interrogation. I was worried about your silly ass. I meant what I said, they wanted to do a lot worse to you. You were brave. But you also went through a lot of trouble to hide from me and from Dumbledore."
"I must have if it took you this long to find me. What gave me away?"
"It was by pure accident. I had a call to this part of London about strange noises that sounded like howling. They thought a dangerous animal was on the loose. I used the tracking to find out if any werewolves were in this area. I tracked you from the liquor store to here."
"How did you get in?"
"You didn't have the door locked."
"Oh. I reckon I'm slipping." Bugger. Anyone could have walked into my flat.
Moody took a seat at the other end of the settee and nodded, "Yes, you daft child. It was concerning, especially when I saw the condition of your flat and you."
"It could use a clean up, I admit." I took a look around the flat. It was a mess and completely out of my character. I was the annoying one in the dorm that liked everything organized, cleaned, and smelling good. Another reason Sirius loved living with me. I was the ying to his yang. Where he hated cleaning and cooking, I relished in having everything in immaculate order and have the ability to cook quite the gourmet meal. The man sitting beside me can attest to this as I've cooked for him many times as well as for the rest of the order. I absentmindedly played with a loose piece of thread coming out of the settee as I remembered.
"How's your head and arse?"
I broke out of my reverie and sighed, "Both sting a bit."
"Good. Don't forget it."
"Moody?"
"Aye, lad?"
"Thanks. For everything."
"Don't mention it and don't try to run from me again. You'll have more than a stinging arse to worry about if you do."
"Is that a threat?"
"Of course not. It's a promise. I'm more than willing to be the man that gives you a swift kick to bring you to your senses."
I rested my elbow on the arm of the settee and my chin in the palm of my hand. A cheeky smirk and wink towards my mentor as I said, "I'm not scared of you."
"We'll see about that after I supervise you cleaning this place."
"Self invite there, is it? You don't have to stay."
"You're not getting rid of me that easy again."
I felt an earnest smile creep upon my features and breathed in, thinking of how I wouldn't want to get rid of Moody anyway. I was so sure that I would be perfectly content on being alone. For the second time in my life, I was proven wrong. I have to be honest with you. I don't mind one bit.
"Lad?"
"Yes, Moody?"
"Think you can cook me dinner tonight? It's been months since I've had a good meal."
"I need some groceries but I could."
"Well, let's get going. That is, if you don't mind."
"I don't mind one bit."
The End~
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A/N: A few reviews liked the friendship between this pair and I do find Moody an interesting character. If you would like more stories in regards to this kind of theme, let me know and I'll see if I can come up with something. The thought came to me after seeing Remus' reaction to Moody's death. He looked even more broken and can see how he'd be one of his mentors and friends.
Thank you so much for reading and leave a review if you feel so inclined. Thanks!
