Oh My God.
How could I do this?
Why would I do this?
What am I going to do?
This is worse than blood.
or even breaking a bone.
or a stupid cut.
Worse than even falling on my face.
Worse than getting yelled at.
What will Edward think?
What will he do?
Will he leave me again?
Maybe just dump me?
Or smack me?
No, he wouldn't do that
He's too much of a gentleman.
Right?
Right.
But oh crap.
He'll be MAD.
What will Alice think?
What will she do?
Will she help me?
Oh, No.
Will she tell Edward to leave me
Will she leave me?
What about Esme?
or Carlisle?
or even Jasper?
Will they help me?
O My God.
What about Rosalie?
or my big bear brother Emmett?
Would Emmett help me?
How about Rosalie?
Nope, not Miss-I-am-a-bitch Rosalie.
But, will Emmett?
Nope, he's too stupid, with this kinda stuff.
He won't. He won't.
I know it.
What will Charlie think?
What will Renee think?
What would Angela think?
Or Mike or Jessica?
Will they make fun of me?
or maybe help me?
Noooope.
I know it.
I just do.
What will I do?
What will I do?
What can I do?
I'm dead.
DEAD!
Maybe Edward will kill me.
Or maybe Emmett.
NO!
Jasper!
He'll probably kill me.
He's always wanted to.
Will Alice try to stop him?Probably not.
She's probably always wanted to kill me too.
Actually.
Everyone has, I bet.
Maybe, they'll all do it.
My family.
Damn.
Maybe I can reverse it.
Or even change it back.
and maybe -
most likely not.
It won't work.
I just know it.
Why would I do this?
ME?
Of all people in the world?
ME?
With the vampire boyfriend and his vampire family?
I'm so screwed.
Fucked.
Even better.
Yeah. Fucked.
It's the perfect fucking word.
I'm so fucking fucked.
I'm so fucking stupid
Fucking. Retarded
Fucking. Mental
Fucking. Special
But. Not in a good way.
Just. Fucking. Special.
Sigh.
What will I do without my love?
and his family?
My family?
If he leaves me...
He better kill me first.
or I will kill myself.
Fucking suicide.
I will make it bloody, too.
and nasty. Gruesome.
or I'll get someone else to kill me.
Yeah, I'll do that.
SHIT. WHAT AM I SAYING!!
Man, I'm losing my mind.
I guess it's true what they say.
CRAP.
I'm so scared.
I only have 4 hrs to fix this.
They're hunting.
All of them.
Again.
I am all alone.
Why?
Why did they have to leave me all alone?
I would not have done this if they were here.
Not all by myself.
In this hellhole.
Without Edward.
Man, I HAVE to fix this.
I just have to.
I don't really want to die.
You know?
I want to be a vampire, yes.
But that is different.
I'm not dieing.
Okay, I am but not the one-
SHUT UP. SHUT UP!
I have to stop talking to myself like that.
What do I do?
What can I do?
Maybe I'll wear a hat?
No. He will so take it off.
or maybe cut it off?
Hmmm... No.
Edward likes it too much.
He likes to play with it.
Just not like this.
Shit!
Why?
WHY DID I HAVE TO DYE MY HAIR?
Blond.
Of all the fucking colors in the world I had to dye it blond.