Yippie! My scound fanfiction! I wasn't really planning to post it quite yet, because I havn't finnished it. That means it could take a while between the chapters. But please stay with me, I won't stop writing till it's finnished, and it will be 19 chapters when compleeted. Excuse my losy spelling!
Oh, thats right! thanks to you who reviewed "Morning fun"! It was you who made up my mind about posting this, Thanks!!! I didn't think anyone would read it, so I was really happy! I litterary cheered, and my class mates looked at me funny o.o
Disclaimer:I do not own Beyblade or the caracters.
Enjoy!
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:::chapter 1:::

Diary thoughts

"I hate him! I hate him so much. When did he get the right to torture me like this? I honestly think I would remember if I did, but I don't. How did he get into my soul, saying soft and beautiful things equal to poison? That's right, his words and presence slowly kills me from inside!
This shouldn't be. You're not supposed to kick the one who's already beaten! But he doesn't care about that now, does he? that sadistic punk broke me…and now he's continuing to make me suffer. Why? does he get of, making me feel this way…miserable. If not, what's the point? I mean.. I've lost already dammit. Or have I won?
……maybe.
I didn't ever dream that I would fall in love. I guess I never really wanted to either, but since no one asked me I didn't have much of a choice, did I? Now I'm stuck with these feelings against my will… yeah I know, this actually supports the fact that I've lost.
………?!!
Great! So that means I've lost at least twice, including one against myself. Is this the way love is supposed to feel? Then screw it! I don't believe It's worth it. How can people go through this torture and stay happy? How can… no, who can long for this to happen? It's absurd really, how people can write and sing such wonderful things about love, isn't it? Everywhere you se people holding hands, kissing, laughing and… well… they seem so happy. Why can't that happen to me, eh? Does people really want this to happen? I don't, I never did!
Why can't I even look at him without feeling like I'm gonna faint?! He's sitting right across the room, wearing that cherry red bathrobe he bought last week. He finished his shower half an hour ago. Yeah, believe it or not, I noticed. He's trying to unravel all the tangles of his long velvety hair. I so, so much would like to help… but I can't. If he spoke to me, smiled at me or even looked at me, I would be lost. Argh… What am I saying? When did I become this pathetic? My head doesn't seem to work the same way as before. I can't… I can't… Concentrate, dammit! Stop purring Rei! How does he do that? I know he's a neko- jin…but…anyway. sigh… I don't think he's gonna stop. I'll just have to manage anyway.
So, where was I? Oh, that's right. I can't control what I'm thinking anymore. Every inch of my body pines for his touch, but when I receive it… I want him to stop. It's to painful. On the other hand, everytime he stops, He leaves a scar to deep for me to heal by myself. He doesn't touch me out of love, but friendship. That's why it hurts, because the lack of deeper emotions. It's a friendly pat on my back, a fake fisthit on my shoulder or sometimes an attempt to a 'high five'. But when I fall, there's no one to catch me.
How did faith manage to find me so of guard? When did it happen? When did I allow myself to lower my guard anyway? I don't have the answer to that, and it doesn't really matter now, does it? The harm has already been done; I'm hopelessly in love with him… there, it's said. Damn, I'm gonna kill that bastard. Just look at him, still struggling with his hair. Why did he grew it to that length anyway? And why the heck did I lighten a fire in the fireplace? The dull light is playing over his soft skin. My God! how's it possible for someone to look so gorgeous? It should be illegal!
I'm confused. Despite the fact that I'm totally shattered inside, he always somehow manage to make me feel better just by being there. I know, that's contradicticall to everything I've so far preached… but it's true. So, roughly I am: broken, shattered, weak, confused, frightened, angry, frustrated and empty. I love yet hate him. I love him for his personality, his smile, his intelligence, his humor and his kindness. I love watching him sleep. I love seeing him happy and most of all, I love it when he laugh. But I hate him. I hate him for making me feel this way!"

"Kai?" Said person looked up from his diary.

"Hm?" he replied. " What is it?"

"Well, I thought… since I'm a little desperate for sugar, I'm gonna call the room service and order something. Do you want anything? Kai looked at him. His ebony hair now hung down to his knees in all it's velvety smoothness. His golden amber eyes had a strange glowing expression caused by the fire. 'So beautiful' The phoenix mused, mesmerised about the boy before him.

"Kai?" He snapped out of his thoughts, dumbfolded.

"What?"

"Made up your mind yet?" the tiger smirked.

"…Um, yeah… guess I could go for some ice cream" Kai stood up from the chair and walked over to the bathroom. "I'll take a shower" he explained " If the food arrive before I'm done, don't wait for me."

"Right" Rei picked up the red plastic phone. The Russian shot him a quick glance before shutting the bathroom door with a sigh.
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End chapter one. Argh, I know...It was short and kinda boring. But please tell me what you think, and secound chapter will be up and running soon. I promise it will consist of lot more "action" .