This is my first Naruto fic, and I have many more to come. This is just a cheesy little one-shot that popped into my head (from a credit card commercial, of all things), but I hope you enjoy it.
P.S.: I fixed a few minor errors. Nothing big.
-Kissing Irony
---
Sasuke's eighth birthday is happy occasion; that is, until he loses one of his front teeth.
He is eating an apple given to him by one of the girls that came to his birthday party (only because his mom made him do it), but after he pulls it away, he sees white poking out of the apple. The group of his classmates gasps collectively as he opens his mouth to ask what had been put in his apple.
Sasuke looks at them in confusion, until a girl with pink hair named Sakura points to his mouth, crying out, "Sasuke-kun, you lost your tooth!" She gives the blonde girl beside her a triumphant look. The blonde was the one who gave Sasuke the apple.
At this point, he drops the apple on the table and storms off in embarrassment to find his mother. He sees her in the kitchen, cutting up vegetables.
"Oh, Sasuke, you poor baby!" Mikoto croons upon seeing the white tooth in the palm of his hand.
"This is the worst birthday ever!" Sasuke announces in the typical spoiled brat voice, pout and all.
Mikoto ruffles his hair and smiles. "That's okay, Sasuke. You can put the tooth under your pillow and the tooth fairy will come tonight and give you something for it."
"I don't believe in the stupid tooth fairy! This sucks!" Sasuke shouts before running upstairs to his bedroom.
Mikoto shakes her head. "Kids these days..."
A rowdy little boy named Kiba plows his way into the kitchen, yelling, "Mrs. Uchiha, is Sasuke coming back in? 'Cause if not, we're gonna start eating cake without him."
Mikoto smiles. "I'll go talk to him. You all can start eating, though. And, you can just call me Mikoto."
Kiba pouts. "But sis told me to have manners when it comes to adults, or else she'll smack me."
"Don't worry, I won't tell," Mikoto says with a finger over her lips.
"Okay!" Kiba says, before high-tailing it out of the kitchen. Over his rush back to the party for food, Mikoto could hear a loud argument between two girls.
"Y-You can't eat that! Sasuke already started eating it!"
"Nu-uh, since he ate it, it'll be like a kiss!"
"W-What?! No way! Gimme that!"
Mikoto laughs, before making her way upstairs to pry little Sasuke out of his room.
---
That night, after the party is over, Sasuke lies down in his bed, and Mikoto gives him a goodnight kiss.
"You have your tooth under your pillow, right?" Mikoto asks, lifting his pillow to check. Sasuke rolls to the edge of the bed.
"Mom! You coulda just asked!" Sasuke says, trying to keep himself from falling off the bed.
Mikoto chuckles, and pats him on the head. "Goodnight Sasuke. Don't stay up all night, or the tooth fairy won't come."
The door shuts, and Sasuke grumbles. "Stupid tooth, falling out on my birthday. Who does it think it is?"
Sasuke rolls over onto his side, facing the window. He wonders where the tooth fairy would come from, but only before he remembers that the tooth fairy doesn't exist. "Stupid tooth fairy. Parents make that up so kids like me lose their teeth on special days and ruin them."
And the little raven-haired child tries to stay awake, but finds his eyelids heavy, and falls asleep.
---
Thump.
"Ow!"
Sasuke groggily rubs his eyes. "Where'd the noise come from?" He says out loud in a sleep-slurred voice.
"Eek!"
Sasuke turns to see where the voice came from, and finds a shock of blond hair a blob of bright orange.
"W-Who are you?! I'm going to call my mom!" Sasuke yells, while jumping out of bed.
The little orange clad boy (with wings?!) pulls himself up from the ground blindingly fast, speaking in a rush. "N-No, Sasuke, don't do that! Um, um, please, I'll tell you, just don't call your mom!"
Sasuke eyes him warily. "How do you know my name?! And you didn't answer the question!"
"Oh man, I screwed up big time!" He runs his fingers through his hair. "I'm the tooth fairy."
"You're lying!" Sasuke shouts, pointing at him with an accusing finger.
"I'm not kidding! Pinky promise! And please, please, quiet down! I can't let anyone know I'm here. Being seen by a human means that you get punished, and Boss will be so mad if she knows I messed up again."
Sasuke looks him over. Blond hair, six little whisker marks on his face, dressed totally in orange, and little wings poking out from behind him. The "tooth fairy" notices him looking, and begins to come closer.
"I'm not done yet!" Sasuke studies him for a moment longer, before pointing at the translucent wings. "…Are those real?"
The blond fairy nods. "Wanna touch 'em?"
Sasuke creeps up to the boy, before hesitantly running his hand along one of his wings. "H-Holy shit, they're real!"
The boy gasps. "You said a bad word!"
"Aniki says it all the time," Sasuke says while crossing his arms.
The fairy shakes his head. "You shouldn't do that! Boss washes our mouths out with soap when we say bad words."
"Whatever," Sasuke says. "Do you have a real name, tooth fairy?"
"I'm not s'posed to tell you!"
Sasuke smirks before warning, "I'll call my mom!"
"N-No! It's Naruto!" The flustered tooth fairy, now deemed Naruto, cries out. "Oh man, I'm gonna lose my wings… and I just got them, too… Kakashi-sensei will kill me…"
"Is that your boss?" Sasuke asks curiously.
Naruto shakes his head. "Kakashi-sensei is just my teacher. Boss is the leader of the fairy world. She has the biggest wings out of all of us. She could banish me from the fairy world! And that's even worse than Kakashi-sensei killing me!"
"Oh…" Sasuke trails off. "That really is bad."
"I've already woken up four customers since I got my wings, but I can't control the stupid things! I end up toppling in, and making a huge racket," Naruto rambles. "Boss said one more and I'm back to office fairy."
"…Customers? Office fairy?" Sasuke asks, but Naruto continues off on his tangent.
"Office fairy was the worst job ever, filing day and night with no sleep and only a few coffee breaks but the coffee sucked too, and---oh no, somebody's coming! You have to hide me!"
Before Sasuke has the chance to react, the blond fairy dives underneath his covers, and the door flies open, leaving an irate Itachi standing in the doorway.
"I don't care if it's your birthday, or Christmas, or even if the damn house is on fire. Just shut the hell up already!" Itachi growls.
Sasuke could feel Naruto quivering against his legs. "Sorry, aniki. I won't do it again."
Itachi glares at him, his eyes almost appearing red. "You better not." He shifts his eyes onto the lump Naruto was making while beneath the blanket. "And you shouldn't eat so much cake. You're getting fat."
"G-Got it, aniki."
Itachi slams the door, and Naruto hops out from under the covers, wiping imaginary sweat from his brow. "That was close!"
Sasuke glares at the fairy expectantly. "So, are you gonna do your job or what?"
Naruto gives him a blank look for a moment, before suddenly remembering his purpose. "Oh, that! Well, gimme your tooth."
Sasuke reaches under his pillow to retrieve it, and places it in the hand of the fairy.
"Okay, I'll be done in just a second!" Naruto reaches behind him to pull out a wand, and taps it over the tooth. In the blink of eye, the tooth changes to…
"A nickel? What kind of crap is that?!"
Naruto scratches the back of his neck. "Well, um, Boss has been gambling a lot lately… so we haven't exactly been able to give out a lot of money."
Sasuke is looking down at the floor, and suddenly clenches his fist.
"Are you okay?" Naruto asks, before he finds himself behind held up by his collar.
Sasuke shouts, "I've had the worst birthday ever, and you give me a nickel? I want more, you stupid tooth fairy!"
Naruto scrambles to collect his thoughts. "W-Wait, can't we talk this out? I'll make it up to you, I promise!" Sasuke muses over it for a moment, before dropping the little fairy to the floor.
"So, whaddya have to give me?" Sasuke asks eagerly.
"This!" Naruto chirps, before jumping up and pressing his lips to Sasuke's. A flush immediately spread over Sasuke's cheeks, and when the warmth of Naruto's lips leaves him, he makes a choking noise.
Sasuke turns to see Naruto perched on the window sill. The fairy winks at him, before flapping his wings and departing. As he leaves, his voice carries in the wind, "Thanks for saving my wings, Sasuke. Happy birthday."
When the fairy is out of sight, Sasuke sits on his bed, touching his lips and blushing. "My first kiss… I lost it to the tooth fairy?! And he only gave me a nickel!"
Regardless of the boy's frustration, he sleeps with the nickel in the palm of his hand and dreams of fairy wings and a cute whisker-faced boy.
---
The next morning, Sasuke wakes to Mikoto calling out, "Breakfast is ready!"
He stumbles down the stairs to the dining room, where his family is already eating. Mikoto greets him by asking, "Sleepyhead is finally up?"
Only Sasuke picked up Itachi muttering, "Sure wasn't sleeping last night." Sasuke sticks his tongue out, and plops down on his usual seat.
"Mm, waffles," Sasuke murmurs, before taking a bite.
Mikoto smiles. "So, what did the tooth fairy bring you last night?"
"A nifle," he says with his mouth full of waffle.
Itachi nearly gags. "Gross. Don't talk with your mouth full."
After swallowing, Sasuke replies with a, "You're not my mom!" Mikoto chuckles, before repeating her earlier question.
"A nickel." And a kiss, he thinks while trying to hide his blush.
"Oh my," Mikoto responds, "The tooth fairy must be pretty cheap."
Sasuke nods while taking another bite of his waffle. "Owh!" he cries out, spitting his food out onto his plate.
"God, Sasuke, can't you eat like a normal human being?" Itachi complains.
Sasuke pokes through the half-chewed waffle to find white poking out. "My other tooth!" He smiles an utterly adorable two-front-teethless smile. "I can't wait for the tooth fairy to come tonight!" Even if I'm going to pulverize him… a little!
Fugaku, remaining silent up until this point, comes into the conversation with, "I thought the tooth fairy only gave you a nickel."
"S-So?! I'm going to put my tooth up there now!" And before they can blink, Sasuke is already dashing up the stairs.
Itachi shakes his head. "Didn't even ask to be excused… my brother is a moron."
And after everything, all Mikoto can do is laugh.