TITLE: 'Where's Gilligan?' (1/10)
RATING: R
CHARACTERS: Toby and the gang
SUMMARY: The administration take a trip
DISCLAIMER: The characters used from the West Wing do not belong to me; they are the property of Aaron Sorkin.
TIMEFRAME: After Dead Irish Writers
***Josh Lyman***
It was a crisp early March morning as Josh Lyman entered his office with his briefcase in one hand and a cup of hot coffee in the other. The area surrounding his office was still dark and quiet. He was the first in the vicinity to prepare for what challenges the day would have in store for him.
Placing the items in his hand down onto his desk Josh jiggled out of his overcoat and then hung it up on the back of his door. Taking a seat behind his cluttered desk he started to open his briefcase and put together his laptop that he had taken home the night before.
Taking a few sips of his coffee Josh then noticed that there was an envelope on his desk addressed to him. With no postage stamp he assumed it came from within the building. Maybe Donna would know something about this he thought to himself.
"Donna," he screamed out into the emptiness. He had forgotten he was alone.
"That was pretty stupid," he said aloud. He picked up the envelope and removed a single beige slip of paper. It was an invite for a getaway. He became intrigued.
***CJ Cregg***
CJ quickly walked into the West Wing to her office lugging her briefcase with her left hand and carrying her gloves in her right. When she arrived at her door she placed her gloves into her mouth so that she could unlock her door with her now free hand.
Kicking the door with her feet she made her way to her desk and spit her gloves onto it. Sighing she removed her coat and fluffed out her hair, just incase it should have gotten messed up somewhat.
CJ then went over to her cabinet and taking some food from its container she began to feed her goldfish Gail.
"Hey girl, are ya hungry?" she asked the goldfish who was busy devouring the food being tossed into her small fishbowl.
"Well that should keep you occupied for a whole minute," CJ told the goldfish as she turned on her computer. Glancing down at the keys, a habit she couldn't get rid of CJ's eyes came up on envelope that was in her name.
She stopped typing and picked the envelope from the desk and using her letter opener opened it. CJ sat back in the chair as she read the contents of the paper she was holding.
"Well this is more like it," she said to herself smiling.
***Leo McGarry***
Leo McGarry was walking by when he noticed that the light in Josh Lyman's office was on. Glancing at his watch he knocked on the door and to his surprise was invited in by none other than Josh himself.
'What brings you in this early?" Leo questioned his deputy.
Yawning Josh answered, "The same reasons as you."
"I doubt that very much Josh. I'm here to prepare for Ambassador Marble's arrival."
Laughing Josh corrected his boss, "It's Marbury."
"No, it's marble. And his high-ass is coming in this morning." Josh laughed as Leo yet again insulted the ambassador from England.
"That should be fun for you," sarcastically put by Josh.
"Whatever. I think the President does this to me because I keep beating him at poker. He can't stand to lose."
"Then stop playing with him," Josh advised.
"Yeah you're right. But then he'll just wine and cry and it's just easier to give in." They shared a chuckle.
"Hey Leo," Josh said stopping Leo from leaving his office. "Do you know what this is all about?" Josh was holding the paper he had received this morning.
Squinting his eyes Leo tried to see what it was that Josh was holding up. "Paper?"
"Yeah, I know it's paper Leo. But I am talking about what's on the paper."
"Josh, incase you haven't noticed I am about five or six feet from it. So maybe you could get off your rump and show me what it is you're talking about."
Josh did as he was told and displayed the paper before Leo so that he too could read it. Leo shrugged his shoulders and said, "Nope. Haven't seen it before. But it sounds like fun. Gotta go."
Leo held his hand as his way of saying goodbye and Josh gave a half wave. As he walked back to his desk he reread the note.
***Toby Ziegler and Sam Seaborn***
"Yeah but you have to admit he was pretty good in the movie," Sam reminded Toby as they were walking down the hall to the perspective offices that were adjoining.
"No I don't. I thought he sucked. Sean Penn should have won,"
"But the Academy doesn't like him. He beats up photographers," Sam explained.
"So. I would do the same thing if I was in his shoes. That doesn't justify giving the award away to wrong guy."
"Have you even seen Training Day?"
Toby stopped walking and once Sam realized that he walking alone he turned and walked back to where Toby was waiting. "Why would you ask me if I have seen the movie Sam?"
"Because had you seen it, I don't think you would be disagreeing with me in regards to Denzel Washington's performance."
Toby knocked on Sam's forehead lightly and questioned, "Is this thing on? Sam? We went together and seen the damn movie."
Sam thought about this for a second before remembering that they did indeed go together.
"And I told you then that anybody could have played that part. Hell I could have played that part just the same. Doesn't mean I deserve the Oscar for it."
"You're just bitter because you lost in the Oscar pool by taking Sean Penn."
Toby began to walk again and Sam did as well. "No I am not bitter. I am just saying that I believe Sean Penn did a better job as did Russell Crowe."
"See, that sounds bitter to me," Sam stated.
They were standing in front of their offices. Toby leaned against his door. "Sam let me ask you something? How is it that one film," he raised his index finger to indicated one. "Wins best screenplay, best director, best picture and best supporting actress but not take the best actor. The entire movie was about whom the actor was portraying Sam? Do you see where I am going with this?"
"You're saying that just because the movie was a bio pic he should have won?"
"No. Ali was a bio pic and I didn't think Will Smith should have won. I am saying how do you tell millions of people that this was the best movie but the actor who made the movie real, just wasn't up to par."
"Ah," Sam whispered. "I understand now one oh wise one."
"Sam?"
"Yeah?"
"Goodbye," Toby had unlocked the door during their conversation and was now stepping inside his office. Sam was still standing in his original spot.
A few minutes later Toby emerged carrying the envelope in his hand. He walked into Sam's office who himself was in the midst of reading his own.
"Did you put this on my desk?" Toby held out the item in question.
Sam held his own out. "Did you put this one on mine?" Toby glanced at Sam's and then at his own. Sam looked down from his and up at Toby's. "Look's like you finally after all these years have a friend Toby."
***Oval Office***
Jed Bartlet leaned against the front of his desk patiently waiting for the late comers to arrive. As usual it was Josh and CJ. Gathered into the oval office were Donna Moss, Toby Ziegler, Sam Seaborn, Leo McGarry, Charlie Young, Oliver Babish and the first lady.
They were all eager to discover why they had been asked to attend a meeting together with the President. CJ and Josh finally came through the doors and Jed clasped his hands together and rubbed them. "Alright, now that I FINALLY have you all here," he was looking directly at CJ and Josh who were well aware of his eyeing them. "I can explain some things to you."
"You have all been given an envelope. And inside that particular envelope is a pretty slip of paper that invites you to a getaway," Jed began explaining.
"This is pretty?" Sam questioned to those around him.
Jed narrowed his eyes to Sam and using a deeper voice said, "You don't like my choice of colouring Mr. Seaborn?"
Sam glanced up at the President and blushed. "No Sir, this is actually quite lovely. Now that I have it up to the light more I can see why you chose it." Once the President removed his gaze from Sam, Sam exhaled and hoped nobody was watching him.
"Those that are in this room have been invited to join Abbey and myself in Monuriki,Fiji for a free getaway." Gasps were heard throughout the room.
"What about the White House?" Leo would of course be only thinking of the administration.
"What about it? I don't think it can come if that is what you are implying Leo," Jed teased getting laughs from a few people.
"Who is going to run it?" Leo rearranged his line of questioning.
"The Vice-President," Jed answered smiling.
"Hoynes?" Leo said. "Is this some kind of a joke Mr. President? Because if it is I am not amused."
"Listen all of you. This is a gift from Abbey and I. We know that you guys have been working really hard." The President paused and then pointed at Josh and Oliver. "Except maybe for you, and you."
"When does all of this happen?" Charlie inquired thinking of his sister.
"Tomorrow morning," Cries were being heard from almost everyone. Jed raised his hand for silence. "And don't tell me that you don't have time or you don't have a password or whatever excuse you may come up with. You don't need much except for maybe some bathing suits, few nights worth of clothes and I already know that each and every one of you has a valid passport."
"Well there goes that theory," Josh said sarcastically.
"You may all talk amongst yourselves but please do so out of my office. There is no need to hang around asking questions. We're taking a trip, and you're all going. No comments required," Jed demanded of his fellow staff members.
"I thought we were invited. That gives us an automatic out," Oliver spoke up. All eyes turned to Oliver and agreements were shared.
"Well guess what? I lied! See you all tomorrow." And with that the President made his escape into his personal quarters that was off to the side.
***The Next Morning***
Josh and Toby were standing off to the side of the lot where they were told to meet up with the rest of the gang. It was 6:10 am. They were 20 minutes early but figured they could use this time to discuss plans for the trip.
"So how big was that fish you claimed you caught?" Toby inquired of Josh.
"I would guess it was over 25 pounds," Josh answered getting ready to brag if need be.
"25 pounds?" Toby repeated with a doubtful tone.
"Why, what's the biggest fish you ever caught?"
Toby gulped the last of his coffee down before replying, "CJ's goldfish when she dropped the bowl."
Forgetting the reason for their discussion Josh asked, "CJ dropped Gail?"
Toby nodded his head and threw his cup into the litter box that was three feet away. He didn't miss. "She sure did. She's a klutz you know? I have said this many times."
"Yeah I know that, but I didn't think she was capable of dropping a tiny defenseless goldfish," Josh remarked.
Sam was crossing the lot towards where Toby and Josh stood with their luggage. Like them he had one small bag. "Good morning guys, are we all excited about this secret getaway?"
"What's so secret. It's a getaway to Fuji," Toby stated.
"Yeah but what it looks like will be a secret," responded Sam.
"Here comes a cab. I bet it's Charlie?" Josh wagered.
"You're on," Toby said.
Sam looked at them both and asked surprised, "You're wagering on who comes in order?"
"Do you have anything better to do at-, Toby glanced at his watch. "6:18 in the morning?"
"Can I get in?" Sam inquired.
"Sure," was Josh's reply. "Who you taking?"
"I say it's Oliver Babish."
"Oliver it is then. Can you make out who it is yet Toby?"
Toby covered his eye with his hand to block the sun. The driver was getting out to open the trunk. "It's a woman whoever it is."
A shocked Sam turned and tried to see who it was. "How do you know that?"
"Men don't put a small bag into a trunk. That's something that a woman does."
Sam twisted his lips in thought and took Toby for his word. He turned his attention back to the cab. The backdoor opened revealing Donna Moss. She waved over to the guys.
"Why wouldn't she just pull over here?"
"Because she's Donna Sam," Josh answered. "C'mon let's go help her with her bags."
"Donna, did you bring enough stuff?" Josh called out.
"I couldn't make up my mind as to what was sexier to wear so I brought it all," she answered smiling as they approached her.
"Why would you go out of your way to wear something sexy? It's just us." Josh asked Donna as he picked up two of her bags.
"It's not like we're going to be the only ones on this island Josh. There are going to be plenty of available men and I want to be at my best when they see me."
"That's gross Donna," Josh commented. He took a few seconds though to picture himself surrounded by dozens of beautiful big chested women in scanty bikini's falling all over him as he made his way onto the beach. Yeah, he thought, the Josh man is coming.
"Here comes another cab," Sam called out. "I'm taking Oliver again."
"I'm going with Charlie still," Toby said. Josh said he was taking Leo and after he filled Donna in she chose CJ. It was Leo, followed by CJ and then Charlie. Another ten minutes and they were all together.
Bartlet was dressed in a Notre Dame t-shirt with khaki shorts and sandals. He was very excited about the trip. The group of ten exchanged pleasantries and then it was Bartlet who broke it up by explaining the schedule to them.
"Okay everyone if I can have your attention," he began and then waited as there was still some chatter. "Joshua shut your yap, I'm trying to talk over here," he yelled out above the noise.
"From here we are going to get on a bus that will of course seat all of us plus the secret service agents that are surrounding us now. The bus will take us to a private plane that is waiting for us. Nobody is aware that we are doing this and because it is of a private nature Air Force One will not be involved."
"What about security Sir?" Leo asked concerned.
"Leo I don't think there is anyone up at this early prepared to shoot me down"
"Air Force One is built the way it is for a reason Sir."
"And it is used for presidential reasons Leo. Not for romping around in Fuji. I am not about to waste the taxpayer's money for this alright? Besides, I am trying to keep a low profile here. Which is why I have borrowed a plane."
"I'm sorry Sir. Did you just say borrowed?" Oliver asked.
"Yes Ollie I did."
"Uh Sir. It's Oliver," Oliver Babish corrected.
"It's not going on this getaway if it interrupts me again," Bartlet warned. Oliver lowered his head giving it a slight nod to mark that he understood.
"As I was saying. Donald Trump himself has generously loaned us the use of his plane for our getaway. And we all know how paranoid he is so I don't have to worry about being shot down in midair."
"I didn't know you were friends with Trump?" Josh said to the President.
"I'm not," Jed replied not going into it any further. "Okay here comes the bus so let's get going shall we?" The bus pulled up alongside them and one by one they climbed aboard the bus after the luggage had been put away.
CJ took the seat beside Toby who looked up at her and then took a quick look around. There were atleast a dozen empty seats left. "There are other seats CJ."
"I know. I'm not blind.'
"I see," was his response.
"Does it bother you my sitting this close to you?"
"No. It bothers me that there are a bunch of empty seats left and yet you felt the need to sit in the one beside me."
"Am I getting on your nerves Pokey?"
"Don't call me that."
"What? Pokey? Why Pokey does Pokey bother you Pokey?" CJ was grinning knowing that she was getting under his skin.
"Did we roll off the wrong side of the bed this morning CJ?"
"Why because I'm happy?"
"This is happy?"
"If it bothers you than you can slap my ass and call me Judy. 'Cause that makes me happy."
Toby leaned in closer to CJ. "Okay then Judy was it? I'd be more than happy to slap your ass, but unfortunately it's sitting on my breakfast," Toby whispered.
CJ leaned over towards Toby so she could raise a cheek. She pulled the bag out from under her and noticed that whatever it was, it was now squished. The bag was also leaking what she hoped was ketchup.
"Eww," she said as held the bag over the aisle. CJ made a quick gasp and looked down. "Oh my God!"
"What?" Toby said not really concerned at all.
"I'm wearing white."
Toby looked at CJ confused. He watched her as she lowered her eyes to her white shorts and then up to where she was holding the red stained bag out. He caught on quick and a large grin appeared on his face.
"You know what CJ? Now I'm happy too," he leaned his head back against the seat still wearing a large grin. Maybe this was going to be fun after all.