Do the Power's That Be Get A Night Off?
Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters!! I leave their names and complex personality disorder's up to the Great Joss Whedon and his staff of talented writers!
Author's note: This is a silly fic, it has no real plot, it's only purpose is to amuse me and prove that even TPB have a night off! Also, i thought it would be funny if all this happened! Please forgive me! I promise i have a lot of sadistic and romantic stories after this! Just let me have this one comedy! To make it easier on the audience and me, I have written it in script form.
[Camera pans in on the Old Hotel building Angel lives in. The Angel investigations team has assembled here tonight because it has a bigger TV and gets more cable channels. they still have not picked a new name. All are present except Gunn.]
Wesley: 150 channels and there's nothing on! [puts the controller down]
Cordy: That can't be! [sits on couch and starts channel surfing] Look! A....Arnold Schwanager movie.
Wesley: Moving on.
Cordy: Home Shopping Network!
Wesley: That's all we need! You spend more of our money!
Cordy: Shut up, you British gimp!
[Angel walks in]
Angel: What's going on?
Wesley: 7:30 and there's no visions, we thought we'd come over here since you have cable.
Angel: No visions? Sure she's not broken? [implying Cordelia]
Cordy: Ha, ha! You should talk dead boy.
Angel; oh please, do not start quoting Xander Harris!! [sits on couch next to them] What's on?
Wesley&Cordy: Nothing.
Angel: I find that hard to believe.
Cordy: Hey, look, an old kung-fu movie. They dubbed it in English funny!
Wesley: oh, yes, this should be amusing, to a two year old.
[Gunn walks in]
Gunn: Got your message, what's going down?
Wesley: Nothing that's why we're here.
Cordy: I know! We can watch the movies we rented! One for each of our different tastes! [gets blockbuster bag]
Angel: Notting Hill?
Cordy: Don't look at me! [they look at eachother than at Wesley]
Wesley: Okay, okay! I admit it! I love that Julia Roberts movie!! [both Gunn and Angel are laughing]
Cordy: Nothing wrong with it....what else we got...Dracula!
Angel: oh, very funny. You know that would be kind of discriminating to my kind!
Gunn: Your kind kill people and can't go in the sun, it describes them perfectly. What else?
Cordy: Malcom X, with yum! Denzel Washington! But wait....Titanic!!
Angel: Oh crap! I'm out of here!
Cordy: Uh-uh! You are all watching this with me! It's a good experience!
3 hours later
[piles of tissues are surrounding the coach. Both Cordelia and Wesley are watery eyed. Angel's asleep, Gunn's banging his head against the couch arm.]
Rose: I'll never let go, Jack.
Cordy: Aaaaaahahahah!!! [blows nose. Angel jerks awake.]
Angel: Wha??
Cordy: I can't believe you slept through the whole thing!
Angel: I didn't sleep through the whole thing! I stayed awake for the previews.
Wesley: [blows nose and wipes his eyes] My allergies seem to be acting up. [they all look at him with a 'yeah right' look.]
Gunn: How much you wanna bet if that boy had survived he would have left her two months later?
Angel: Oh, less than that!
Cordy: you guys are so unromantic!
Wesley: [looks at his watch.] No visions still.
Gunn: What's say we blow this gig, go some where else?
Angel: Sure.
[a few minutes later: Angel's car comes to a screeching halt.]
Gunn: Whose idea was it to let her drive?
Wesley: Now I'm not only confined to a wheelchair, I have whip-lash.
Cordy: Shut up!
[they walk down the stairs to the demon kereoke bar.]
Cordy: I get to go first!!
Angel: I'll get the alcohol.
Wesley: Make mine a double!
[a few minutes later:]
Cordy: The greatest love of aLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[the mirror in the back cracks]
Cordy: That was fun!
Gunn: Girl, I know you are not drunk enough to be delirious.
Cordy: Shut up! Why don't you go next?
Gunn: Over my dead body.
Cordy: Angel could arrange that.
Angel: ha,ha.
Gunn: What the hell are you all drinking?
[they look at their drinks.]
Wesley: What?
Gunn: how about we get you people some real drinks. [signals to the bartender] me and my friends would like a bottle of tequila, shot glasses, and some lemons.
Cordy: Tequila??
Gunn: Ah, you probably can't handle it.
Cordy: I can too! More then Wesley!
Wesley: Oh, really?
Gunn: How about a little wagger, peoples?
Angel: What'd you have in mind?
Gunn: First one to drop looses.]
Cordy: Loses what?
Angel: How about whoever stays up the longest gets to pick the new name for the agency.
Gunn: you got a deal.
Angel: I'll have you know, I was a pretty big drinker in my day.
Wesley: When was that? the 1700's?
[the bartender brings them the lemon and shot glasses.]
Gunn: You first, Cordelia.
Cordy: Fine. [pours tequila in shot glass. Licks wrist, pours salt over it, licks it, drinks the tequila in one swig, sucks on the lemon.]
Yugh!!
Angel: You got a long way to go.
Cordy: Bring it on!
[after a half hour of this]
[Cordelia is dancing around the bar while a demon is singing 'I Honestly love You'. The guys are laughing at her.]
[Angel takes his fourty-something shot of tequila.]
Gunn: Starting to feel it yet, man?
Angel: Ha!...What was the question?
Wesley: Uh....wait...i know this! What is the capital of Georgia?
Gunn: My turn. [takes a shot.]
[twenty minutes later: Gunn and Wesley are singing. Cordelia is under the table unable to get up.]
Cordy: Angel, has anyone ever told you you've got ugly shoe's?
Angel: Hey! Buffy got me these!
Cordy: Well, she has crappy taste anyway! [finally sits up and bangs head against table]
Giles&Wesley: [singing 'Strawberry Fields Forever'] Strawberry fields fovererrrrrrrrrr!!!
Come with me to strawberry fields forever!!!
Bartender: Hey, don't you think they've had enough?
The Host: Possibly, I just wish I had a vidoe camera. They'll learn their lesson tomorrow morning. Hmmmm...guy in the wheel chair should really play it easier on the stock market.
Cordy: Come on, Angel! you have to sing!!![pulls his arm and falls back into chair.] Ow....[laughs idioticly]
Angel: Fine.....
Cordy: Yea!!!!!! [gets on stage with him and presses buttons. Hands him micro-phone.]
Angel: What'd you pick?
Cordy: I don't know. [music starts. Sings:] Did you ever know that you my horo!!!
Gunn: Man, she should sing better for someone who has that fine a body!
Wesley: You'd think wouldn't you?[the two are not making any sense.]
[Next Morning]
[Cordelia wakes up in a bedroom she has never seen before, that was decorated beautifully. She gets up and staggers to the door. Opens it to find Gunn.]
Gunn: There you are.
Cordy: Thank god! I went home with some Hellmouth trash!!
Wesley: Don't yell!!
Gunn: You don't yell!!
Cordy: Both of you shut up!!!
the host: See somebodies up. How about breakfast?
Angel: Don't even mention food![comes up behind them]
Cordy: Well your food is sickening to us any day!
Gunn: Who passed out last?
Host: I really don't see why you people went through the hangovers if you're going to keep the same name.
Gunn,Cordy,and Wesly: Augh!!
Angel: Yes!!! Angel Investigations, we have a winner!!!!!
Gunn,Cordy,and Wesly: [hit him with pillows]
Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters!! I leave their names and complex personality disorder's up to the Great Joss Whedon and his staff of talented writers!
Author's note: This is a silly fic, it has no real plot, it's only purpose is to amuse me and prove that even TPB have a night off! Also, i thought it would be funny if all this happened! Please forgive me! I promise i have a lot of sadistic and romantic stories after this! Just let me have this one comedy! To make it easier on the audience and me, I have written it in script form.
[Camera pans in on the Old Hotel building Angel lives in. The Angel investigations team has assembled here tonight because it has a bigger TV and gets more cable channels. they still have not picked a new name. All are present except Gunn.]
Wesley: 150 channels and there's nothing on! [puts the controller down]
Cordy: That can't be! [sits on couch and starts channel surfing] Look! A....Arnold Schwanager movie.
Wesley: Moving on.
Cordy: Home Shopping Network!
Wesley: That's all we need! You spend more of our money!
Cordy: Shut up, you British gimp!
[Angel walks in]
Angel: What's going on?
Wesley: 7:30 and there's no visions, we thought we'd come over here since you have cable.
Angel: No visions? Sure she's not broken? [implying Cordelia]
Cordy: Ha, ha! You should talk dead boy.
Angel; oh please, do not start quoting Xander Harris!! [sits on couch next to them] What's on?
Wesley&Cordy: Nothing.
Angel: I find that hard to believe.
Cordy: Hey, look, an old kung-fu movie. They dubbed it in English funny!
Wesley: oh, yes, this should be amusing, to a two year old.
[Gunn walks in]
Gunn: Got your message, what's going down?
Wesley: Nothing that's why we're here.
Cordy: I know! We can watch the movies we rented! One for each of our different tastes! [gets blockbuster bag]
Angel: Notting Hill?
Cordy: Don't look at me! [they look at eachother than at Wesley]
Wesley: Okay, okay! I admit it! I love that Julia Roberts movie!! [both Gunn and Angel are laughing]
Cordy: Nothing wrong with it....what else we got...Dracula!
Angel: oh, very funny. You know that would be kind of discriminating to my kind!
Gunn: Your kind kill people and can't go in the sun, it describes them perfectly. What else?
Cordy: Malcom X, with yum! Denzel Washington! But wait....Titanic!!
Angel: Oh crap! I'm out of here!
Cordy: Uh-uh! You are all watching this with me! It's a good experience!
3 hours later
[piles of tissues are surrounding the coach. Both Cordelia and Wesley are watery eyed. Angel's asleep, Gunn's banging his head against the couch arm.]
Rose: I'll never let go, Jack.
Cordy: Aaaaaahahahah!!! [blows nose. Angel jerks awake.]
Angel: Wha??
Cordy: I can't believe you slept through the whole thing!
Angel: I didn't sleep through the whole thing! I stayed awake for the previews.
Wesley: [blows nose and wipes his eyes] My allergies seem to be acting up. [they all look at him with a 'yeah right' look.]
Gunn: How much you wanna bet if that boy had survived he would have left her two months later?
Angel: Oh, less than that!
Cordy: you guys are so unromantic!
Wesley: [looks at his watch.] No visions still.
Gunn: What's say we blow this gig, go some where else?
Angel: Sure.
[a few minutes later: Angel's car comes to a screeching halt.]
Gunn: Whose idea was it to let her drive?
Wesley: Now I'm not only confined to a wheelchair, I have whip-lash.
Cordy: Shut up!
[they walk down the stairs to the demon kereoke bar.]
Cordy: I get to go first!!
Angel: I'll get the alcohol.
Wesley: Make mine a double!
[a few minutes later:]
Cordy: The greatest love of aLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[the mirror in the back cracks]
Cordy: That was fun!
Gunn: Girl, I know you are not drunk enough to be delirious.
Cordy: Shut up! Why don't you go next?
Gunn: Over my dead body.
Cordy: Angel could arrange that.
Angel: ha,ha.
Gunn: What the hell are you all drinking?
[they look at their drinks.]
Wesley: What?
Gunn: how about we get you people some real drinks. [signals to the bartender] me and my friends would like a bottle of tequila, shot glasses, and some lemons.
Cordy: Tequila??
Gunn: Ah, you probably can't handle it.
Cordy: I can too! More then Wesley!
Wesley: Oh, really?
Gunn: How about a little wagger, peoples?
Angel: What'd you have in mind?
Gunn: First one to drop looses.]
Cordy: Loses what?
Angel: How about whoever stays up the longest gets to pick the new name for the agency.
Gunn: you got a deal.
Angel: I'll have you know, I was a pretty big drinker in my day.
Wesley: When was that? the 1700's?
[the bartender brings them the lemon and shot glasses.]
Gunn: You first, Cordelia.
Cordy: Fine. [pours tequila in shot glass. Licks wrist, pours salt over it, licks it, drinks the tequila in one swig, sucks on the lemon.]
Yugh!!
Angel: You got a long way to go.
Cordy: Bring it on!
[after a half hour of this]
[Cordelia is dancing around the bar while a demon is singing 'I Honestly love You'. The guys are laughing at her.]
[Angel takes his fourty-something shot of tequila.]
Gunn: Starting to feel it yet, man?
Angel: Ha!...What was the question?
Wesley: Uh....wait...i know this! What is the capital of Georgia?
Gunn: My turn. [takes a shot.]
[twenty minutes later: Gunn and Wesley are singing. Cordelia is under the table unable to get up.]
Cordy: Angel, has anyone ever told you you've got ugly shoe's?
Angel: Hey! Buffy got me these!
Cordy: Well, she has crappy taste anyway! [finally sits up and bangs head against table]
Giles&Wesley: [singing 'Strawberry Fields Forever'] Strawberry fields fovererrrrrrrrrr!!!
Come with me to strawberry fields forever!!!
Bartender: Hey, don't you think they've had enough?
The Host: Possibly, I just wish I had a vidoe camera. They'll learn their lesson tomorrow morning. Hmmmm...guy in the wheel chair should really play it easier on the stock market.
Cordy: Come on, Angel! you have to sing!!![pulls his arm and falls back into chair.] Ow....[laughs idioticly]
Angel: Fine.....
Cordy: Yea!!!!!! [gets on stage with him and presses buttons. Hands him micro-phone.]
Angel: What'd you pick?
Cordy: I don't know. [music starts. Sings:] Did you ever know that you my horo!!!
Gunn: Man, she should sing better for someone who has that fine a body!
Wesley: You'd think wouldn't you?[the two are not making any sense.]
[Next Morning]
[Cordelia wakes up in a bedroom she has never seen before, that was decorated beautifully. She gets up and staggers to the door. Opens it to find Gunn.]
Gunn: There you are.
Cordy: Thank god! I went home with some Hellmouth trash!!
Wesley: Don't yell!!
Gunn: You don't yell!!
Cordy: Both of you shut up!!!
the host: See somebodies up. How about breakfast?
Angel: Don't even mention food![comes up behind them]
Cordy: Well your food is sickening to us any day!
Gunn: Who passed out last?
Host: I really don't see why you people went through the hangovers if you're going to keep the same name.
Gunn,Cordy,and Wesly: Augh!!
Angel: Yes!!! Angel Investigations, we have a winner!!!!!
Gunn,Cordy,and Wesly: [hit him with pillows]