Obi-Wan was exhausted after yet another costly battle staged by the Separatists in the Outer Rim. Anakin had been moody all day as they helped with clean up and updated the Counsel. He had been about to give a snappy comeback to one of Anakin's teasing jabs, when Anakin grabbed his shoulder, quickly leaning in until their lips met. Anakin's warm soft lips surprised Obi-Wan as they started to move against his, searching for something Obi-Wan couldn't comprehend. The shock of it left him frozen, eyes wide, letting his former padawan kiss him.
The kisses were bewildering; Obi-Wan had no idea what to do as Anakin showed no sign of stopping. Suddenly he had even more to contend with as Anakin started sending images across their old training bond. The scenarios were numerous, sensual and explicit. Obi-Wan could hardly believe they were really coming from Anakin. It was almost a mental assault as he was made to watch himself and his padawan tangled together in multiple, graphic and some rather imaginative couplings.
Obi-wan was overwhelmed as the carnal scenes bombarded his mind. He was at a loss as to why Anakin was doing this until their bodies pressed together and a hot wet tongue flicked across his lips. Immediately Obi-wan pushed Anakin away and took a couple of steps back, keeping a warning hand held out as shallow fast breaths tore from his lungs. He was severely shaken; confusion, embarrassment and annoyance warred for dominance in his head. Anakin reached out, running a hand down Obi-wan's arm, his pupils dark pits as Obi-Wan looked up at him.
"Think about it?" he asked, turning away, leaving Obi-Wan confused and gasping.
Obi-wan retreated to his room on the transport to regroup and meditate on what had transpired. Where in the galaxy had that come from? He thought of Anakin as a brother and maybe if Anakin didn't have the exact same feelings then at least there was a platonic kind of protectiveness between them. It was extremely unnerving just thinking of Anakin in any other way. How had he missed the signs that Anakin felt so differently? The kiss had been startling when is happened, but it was the sexual imagery of them together, scorched into his brain, that made him feel decidedly uncomfortable.
Many padawans did developed harmless crushes on their masters in their youth. Obi-wan himself had carried a torch for Qui-Gon to the very end of his apprenticeship and he would have done anything to simply have Qui-Gone close. He had loved Qui-Gon, but not in a sexual way. All he had wanted was to be relaxed together, to spend time strengthening their bond and proving their implicit trust in one another. They had been intimate friends, fighting partners and maybe they could have been bondmates if things had gone differently. Their connection had not ever strayed near the kind of writhing sexual images in Anakin's mind.
Obi-Wan had been propositioned before at the temple and sometimes while on a mission throughout his life, but he had turned them all down. He was much happier with the connections of platonic friendship than the messy sexual encounters others seemed to long for. He had discovered his lack of interest in sex wasn't the same as the majority of his peers after a few uninspiring and awkward make- out sessions. Others could spend hours thinking, talking about and having sex, but it was never something Obi-Wan felt a need to engage in. Of course he had never told Anakin any of this.
None of this should have been an issue to begin with. It was fairly obvious that Anakin was involved with Senator Amadala since his solo mission on Naboo. Obi-Wan saw the way Anakin looked at her and he knew his padawan snuck off to see her. So over the years, if he caught a few errant sexual thoughts coming from Anakin, he assumed they were about Padme. Strong emotions were known to leak through training bonds even if both parties were mentally shielding. Were Anakin's feelings new or was he really that oblivious?
He desperately wanted this incident to be a passing fancy, easily overlooked, and that things would be as they always were. He would die for his close friends, which he counted Anakin one of, and do anything for his former padawan, but he hoped this weird fascination Anakin had with him would just go away.
Of course it didn't. He had no idea what triggered this abrupt and forceful change in Anakin, but now every casual touch they shared was suggestive. When Anakin looked at him it was with hunger and Obi-Wan had a hard time disregarding it as it continued to throw him off balance.
The Clone War raged even as Obi-Wan tried to ignore his own problems. Battles needed to be fought and won. He and Anakin operated most efficiently as a team and in situations where they were outnumbered it was essential to have an open bond for communication, but now everything they did felt off and every time Obi-Wan touched Anakin's mind even during combat there were lascivious undercurrents.
Finally, after losing an entire brigade of men in battle and then having to retreat, Obi-Wan realized he had to confront this. He and Anakin were no longer the deadly effective team they had been and it was costing lives.
Obi-Wan dragged Anakin off the second they got back to camp. His tent was the only private enough place to have this conversation. He knew Anakin would think other things were going to happen with them alone in Obi-Wan's space. So the second the tent flap fell closed behind them he pinned Anakin with his best disapproving Master stare and asked,
"Why, Anakin? Just tell me why, because I don't understand and you don't seem inclined to let this go. It's hurting us as a team."
"I want you, Master," Anakin said settling on Obi-Wan's cot. "And I don't know why that has anything to do with your shoddy communication of late." Obi-Wan's whole body stiffened as his frown deepened. His cocksure padawan had taken this too far!
"I'm not interested Anakin and I think you can feel that. The fact that you keep shoving these images at me will not change my decision; they only make me reluctant to touch your mind. Have I taught you nothing of respect?" Anakin looked chagrined but not defeated. Damn Anakin and his willful pride! No, he would need a clear head to deal with this. Obi-Wan took a deep breath, releasing his frustration into the force, and re-centered himself.
"I know you and Padme are together. Even if I was interested, I would not do that to her and I can't believe you are." Anakin's head snapped up, his eyes fixed on Obi-Wan.
"How do you know about us?"
"You are not as discrete as you like to think." Obi-Wan stated dryly, thinking back to the battle on Geonosis and if that wasn't condemning enough, Obi-Wan had caught them asleep together in Anakin's quarters afterward.
"She is a beautiful, smart, tenacious woman and I think of her as a friend. What in the world are you doing kissing me?" Anakin broke eye contact and looked down at his hands, defiant and sad all at the same time.
Seeing his padawan's distress Obi-Wan softened; maybe things were not good between Anakin and Padme. He knelt down in front of his upset apprentice, concerned. "What is it Anakin? Did you fight, are you unhappy?"
"No, we did not fight and all you said about her is true but… since the war, we are constantly on missions and I hardly ever see her, even when we do make it back to Coruscant." Obi-Wan could feel Anakin's anger at the situation until it was released into the force. "We are so far away and our assignments are highly classified. I can't even send her a holocom to let her know we're alive." His posture slumped, making him look younger.
"I understand separation is hard, but you are a Jedi knight, a valuable asset to the Republic, it is not an easy way of life. Sacrifices need to be made to keep order in the galaxy." Obi-Wan said, softly but firmly.
"Of course, I understand that Master," his eyes flicked up, gauging Obi-Wan reaction. "I wish," he faltered, looking back down at his hands. "I just wish…" Obi-Wan reached out, holding Anakin's hand in his. Nothing unwelcome came through the bond, just a wave of unsureness. "You and Qui-Gon seemed so connected when I first met you on Tatooine. You were the first Jedi team I had ever seen." He said, fidgeting with Obi-Wan's fingers. "I wanted that kind of connection with my Master too."
"I know we work well together, but it's not the same." He huffed shaking his head. "I thought maybe we could find that too. I wish we were closer, that we could support each other. There were no secrets between you and Qui-Gon." Yet another thing he should have talked to Anakin about instead of avoiding it.
"We were very close, in fact I was in love with Qui-Gon." Obi-Wan sighed, bringing old memories back to reexamine. "His death was very hard on me. I did not handle it well and then your apprenticeship started so soon after. I was grieving and may have let how raw I was influence how much I let you in." Obi-Wan rubbed his forehead, regretting past mistakes. "I should have been a better Master."
"You were a fine Master and you taught me well. I only wish we could be more open with each other."
"I will strive to be that for you, as your master and friend. As for what you asked me to think about, I know you love Padme and a physical relationship between us will not make us closer."
"I didn't go about this the right way at all, did I?" a small hesitant smile appeared on Anakin's face.
"No Anakin, but I am glad you let me know what was bothering you. If you're willing, I do want to be your friend, a person you can confide in, not just your Master." Anakin eyed him skeptically. Obi-Wan opened their bond letting his feelings and surface thoughts flow past his tight mental shielding. As Anakin did the same he realized they both had been shielding so hard for stealth that they had almost completely cut off their pairbond. "Thank you." Anakin whispered as Obi-Wan pulled him into a hug.