Disclaimer- Characters and several lines belong to Stephenie Meyer

Ch1

I don't know how much more of this I can take, I thought as I lay down on the one of the last available cots in the nurses' room. It was January of 1918, and I was desperately holding back the tears wanted to burst out from eyes. Another soldier… dead, was this war really worth all that pain? The loved ones lost forever, the undo-able sacrifices? It really can't be worth all that.

I sobbed into the flat, lifeless pillow, unable to hold back the tears which bursted from my eyes like water from a dam.

"There, there, Bella." A voice said from behind me patting my back and sitting on the side of the wobbly cot. This was Alice, my closest friend here at the hospital. She could practically predict the future when it came to her patients, which had scared me most of the time, and she always found a way to save them from death or pain. Her soft hazel eyes made me feel like I was home again instead of this scary place.

"It's just so…" I sobbed again, talking into my pillow.

"Painful." Alice said finishing my sentence in her calm, comforting voice.

But it was true. It was painful. Painful, for me to watch our boys come here in pain. And not just the physical pain, but all the emotional pain that came with it. Worst of all was for them to pass, in pain.

I hated when the men started statements with "If I make it," or "After I'm gone." It killed me to try and force a smile and tell them, "It's going to be okay, it's silly to think you wouldn't recover," "It really isn't at all that bad," or "You'll be up and out of here in a jiffy." I really hated lying and I knew I convinced no one except those who wanted so badly to believe it.

There was only one thing I hated more. I couldn't convince myself that it was the truth, even when I wanted with every fiber of my being for it to be so.

I wasn't transferred that long ago. This is my first time in a different country. When I originally thought about going to France, I imagined that I would be in Paris being wooed by some romantic man with a French accent.

I was wrong. Instead I was surrounded by the death, pain, and suffering of The Great War (World War I if you're wondering). How can anyone do this for so long? I couldn't quit. I had helped the injured and suffering. I could continue to help them, even if it killed me inside.

"How is he?" I sniffled looking up in to that beautiful pixie face framed by short spiky black hair that belonged to Alice. She acted so ridiculous sometimes you couldn't help but laugh but when she was serious… let's just say it could get scary.

"Edward will pull through," she said with a weak smile on her face. This was her hopeful expression. "He's tough, that one."

"I hope so," I sighed holding back yet another round of tears. I had felt about him in a way that I couldn't explain, much stronger than I'd ever felt about any other soldier. He was one of the younger men, no more than a year older than me, and extraordinarily handsome. Edward's brown hair with a reddish undertone was almost what one could call bronze. His eyes were the brightest shade of emerald green that I've ever seen in my life and complimented his angular features. Those eyes shown more brightly every time I saw him.I though he might be getting better but the weak look I just saw on his sleeping face only convinces me otherwise.

"You care too much for him you know. You really shouldn't be crying this much over one soldier Bella. And he is getting better." Alice said in a matter of fact way, with a concerned look on her face.

"Sorry." I said, blushing while wiping the remainder of tears off my face. "I just, I don't know."

"Stop being such a worry wart. You're not the first that's happened to. I think you should worry about the other boys and let someone else tend to him." Her face was unreadable. Normally Alice's expressions were easy to read, but this was a first. I didn't know if she was saying this because it was doubtful I would see him again once he was discharged or out of concern for me because I was becoming too attached; And if things took a turn for the worst… I couldn't think about that it made a pain in my chest before I had finished my thought.

Things with Edward wouldn't get worse, the wound on his side was healing nicely and there was no infection. He was rather ill with some kind of sickness but that would get better too.

"You're right Alice, I need to stay focused. You're such a comfort. I'm glad I get to work with you." I said and hugged her. She patted my back.

"Now get some sleep. Tomorrow will be a very long day, we both have double shifts." She got up and went to lie on a vacant cot across the room.

I would wait a few minutes until she was asleep. I know it's deceitful but I have to at least tell Edward that I won't be able to take care of him for a while. How would I tell him? I guess I'll come up with something when the moment came.

I lay on my stomach, fidgeting. How long had it been since Alice had gone and lay down? Was it a few seconds or a few hours? I couldn't tell I just kept my eyes closed tried to lie still while fighting the sleep that so desperately wanted to engulf me. I hadn't realized how tired I really was. I though, maybe if I just let myself doze for a bit I could wake myself up… Or maybe I would fall asleep and never get a chance to tell Edward why I had to avoid him.

My eyes flew open. I couldn't let that happen. I rolled over to see if Alice was asleep. Her chest rose and sank slowly, surely she was asleep. Her head was turned away from me so she would never see me leaving. I slowly and carefully lifted myself off the bed avoiding any squeaks the cot might make. All the remaining cots were full now meaning there was no possibility of someone taking my cot in my absence.

I snuck down three rows, of sleeping exhausted nurses, avoiding making even the slightest sound in just case I was dealing with light sleepers. If someone saw me they would surely tell Alice. Finally I reached the door of the nurse's quarters and snuck into the hall. Once outside I was in the clear.

I walked hastily to the recovering room. Edward's bed was the sixth bed on the right. The night nurses were scattered through the white room. None of them could tell Alice because of their shifts. I walked quickly to his side and gazed down on that beautiful face.

His eyes were closed but there was something different about his face that wasn't there when I checked up on him before I went to bed. He had a pleased grin on his face. Maybe he was having a happy dream, which was a good thing; many of the soldiers would wake often in the night screaming. It was sad that their screams never woke the others; they all had grown accustomed to it. Edward hadn't screamed since I started caring for him but I'm not sure why.

"Hello again Nurse Swan." He whispered startling me causing me to jump a little.

He opened his blazing green eyes; they were stronger than the last time I gazed into them, almost hypnotic. He was chuckling at my surprised expression. Why was I here again? I think it had something to do with what Alice had said but I couldn't be sure what that was now. Then he said gazing back into my eyes, his grin grew bigger. After a few moments his expression grew expectant then he said.

"Nurse Swan?" He said slowly still grinning. Not waiting for my reply he continued. "Shouldn't you be asleep?" He was still smiling, and I couldn't find the words to reply to him, my heart gave a jolt. So I replied with all that my throat would allow.

"Mm-hmm." His eyes closed with a content smile.

"How are you going to get anything done tomorrow if you're here all night fussing over me, silly?" His eyes were still closed. "You need your sleep Bella, you should really go back to bed, I'll be fine I swear. I promise to be here in the morning I'm not leaving anytime soon." His was being completely sincere, only, there was a note in his voice that told me he really didn't want me to leave.

"I won't be able to take care of you tomorrow." I finally blurted out, finding my voice at last. I regretted saying it once it the words left my mouth. There was silence for what seemed a few hours.

"Oh." He finally responded, the smile now gone from his face, and his eyes were still closed.

"I'm sorry, really, I want to, but Alice says…" Should I tell him that Alice knows I'm growing too fond of him? That I need to put some distance between myself and him incase something took a turn for the worst? Would that upset him more? He opened his eyes waiting for me to finish my statement. I could see the hurt behind his eyes. "I need to take a brake and I'm over working myself and I just thought that since I wouldn't be in here tomorrow that I'd check up on you tonight. Don't tell any of the day nurses I snuck out because Alice will find out and have a fit. I promised her that I would stay in bed." I lied. My heart ached. How could I do that to him? Tomorrow I would have to work in the other room so that he wouldn't catch me in a lie. I'm certain my face gave it away but he had closed his eyes again.

"Well if Alice wants you to get some sleep..." He said slowly opening his eyes which quickly caught me again. "Then you should probably be doing that, shouldn't you?" He looked relieved now. He reached out with one hand and stroked the side of my face. My heart began to race at his touch.

"I suppose." I finally said closing my eyes to avoid his gaze. "Good night Edward."

"Bella, before you go, may I ask you something?" His voice was angelic, almost innocent of any intentions.

"Is there something you need me to get you?" I asked standing up.

"No, no." He said taking my hand to get me to sit back down. I sat. "Isabella I was simply wondering… how you feel about me." His eyes tensed protected about something, like he was anticipating something bad.

"What do you mean?" I asked, curiosity coursing through me. Did he mean about his condition? Or how I really felt about him?

"I mean what I said. How do you feel about me?" His eyes were kind now, almost like he knew the answer but he just wanted to hear it to be sure.

"In which sense of the word feel?" I asked trying to buy myself some time. He gave a weak smile and his dazzling eyes were looking straight into mine now.

"Never mind, I can see how you feel by the look on your face Bella, you're so easy to read, and I would know, I'm an excellent reader. I feel it too you know? I just wanted to hear it though, just to be sure. I can't seem to separate reality from my dreams lately, but I know this is real. You don't have to say it; it might make things more difficult if something happens. It's alright, don't be upset Bella, I told you I won't go anywhere."

He was sitting up now so that our faces were level and only a few inches apart. I closed my eyes waiting. I didn't know if he thought I was thinking so I leaned my head towards him, eyes still closed and tears streaming. His soft hands were on either side of my face, holding me between them, stopping me. I opened my eyes to look at his expression. It was a look of triumph and happiness; his eyes were gleaming bright into mine. He was happy with my response.

"Silly girl," he laughed quietly. "Have you forgotten that I'm ill? I couldn't allow you to get sick! What kind of man would that make me?" I sighed, looking down from his gaze for a second then looking back his smile making my heart pound so fast I thought it might fly out of my chest.

"I love you," I whispered so quietly I wasn't sure if he heard me. He had released my face to lie back down. I kissed him on the forehead and he closed his eyes and smiling.

"I love you too, Bella." With that I left and went back to my cot in the nurses' room. I was exhausted but I didn't know if I could sleep. I sighed.

He loved me, and he knew I loved him and that's all that really mattered now.