Chapter One – Where do we go from here?

4 years. That's how long it had been since Cristina had even set foot in Seattle. 4 years ago she left Seattle and more importantly, Owen and Meredith. They both had pleaded with her to stay but ultimately, she left anyway. They knew that it perhaps, might have been a good idea after all. Maybe the separation was a good thing. Maybe. Needless to say, she was back in Seattle and moving into a new apartment. She'd been called by Seattle Pres for a special case and she couldn't say no. Cristina Yang, Harper Avery winner. She lugged her stuff into the large apartment and sighed, running a hand through her hair and sighing. Cristina considered visiting Seattle Grace to see her former friends but there was also the possibility of running into their Chief of Surgery which she was not keen on seeing. As it turned out, even after 4 years of being away plus a year of separation, she wasn't over him and doubted she ever would be.

Cristina unpacked some of the essentials, ie the coffee maker and her bedding. She dug in a box and grabbed a mug for the morning.

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Owen had made a go of it with Emma. It had seemed like a blessing to find this woman who had gone through similar things like he had but in the end, it wasn't. When Owen found out that she was pregnant after a year and a half of dating, he'd been elated. Finally he was able to obtain the little family he had so desperately wished for and Emma was happy to do it. He loved her and his next plan was to be the best father he could be and maybe, one day, the best husband. She'd had their daughter, Lily a month early which was a slight cause for alarm but ultimately, Lily was a tough little thing. Owen was madly in love with her the moment she had been born and his entire world was about this little tiny person. Somehow, 6 months into her little life, Emma spoke up.

Flashback

"Owen...Owen we need to talk." Emma said, approaching him as he sat there at in front of Lily's highchair, bright pink plastic spoon in hand, carrot mushed onto it. Owen looked up and smiled a little. "What's going on?" He asked her, quickly feeding Lily the bit of carrot before going in for more. Emma sighed heavily unsure of how to word what she was about to tell her boyfriend but she just had to. "The thing is...I realized that...well we wanted different things. I never wanted this. I wanted us together of course. We had fun but then..." Emma looks down at Lily. "I never wanted her. I thought I did and I've realized this is too much for me. I just can't do this anymore and I know you're going to hate me for this but I can't stay in this relationship and be miserable for the rest of my life." While Owen had tried to reason with her, picking Lily Bean up and setting her in her play pen, she wouldn't back down. Owen followed her around the house, telling her she was making a huge mistake and maybe she was going through some depression.

Nope. It was so much more than that which ended in Owen standing in the house without her. Owen didn't know what to do. He paced the house, restless energy, wondering where to begin and how to do it. What now? Should he try to convince her to come back? Owen wasn't entirely sure but one thing he was sure about was, he needed help. He walked over to the coffee table and picked up his phone, dialling a familiar number. "Owen?" The voice said over the phone. "It's late. I just put the kids to sleep." "I know Mer but well..." Owen wasn't entirely sure how to go about telling her this but he knew she'd understand. "Emma left me. She told me that she couldn't deal with being a parent and that she didn't want the baby! I told her to stay for Lily or stay for me but she wouldn't do it! How does someone just do that?" Owen practically yelled into the phone, unaware of just how angry he was. "Shit...And I know how people do it Owen. I'd tell you to ask my mother but she's dead." Owen just about laughed. A small smile spread across his face regardless. "True. I guess I just didn't think that it would happen to me."

Of course no one thinks that would happen to them but it had. Owen was now a single parent and one of the saving graces was that he still had 6 months of paternity leave left. He could at least figure out a routine for her and hopefully work out how to be Chief of Surgery and a good and functional parent.

The first month of being single, Lily cried for her Mum. Owen felt helpless as his daughter cried and he was unable to sooth her. He basically waited until she got too tired to cry anymore. Owen tried, of course but most often, she had to stop on her own. The second month got better. By the 4th month, she only cried for him. It was a hard thing to work through but he felt confident again or at least as confident as he could be. By the end of the year, Owen was ready to go back to work. Separation anxiety was evident in the pair but that didn't stop him from visiting her in the day care on a constant basis.

On the plus side of this whole thing, Owen had become close with Meredith. Losing Cristina had brought them together, pushing aside any differences they had. It was nice for Owen to have someone there. He was close with Callie but she was currently focusing on being a parent with Arizona, working through their issues and taking Sofia to Disneyland and other trips.

By Lily's second birthday, even more had changed. Meredith and Derek were separated. It seemed impossible that the couple that had gotten through everything had separated over something so trivial as a job offer. Derek had been offered a major position in Washington and had ultimately accepted it. Now they hadn't divorced but he would be away for several years and it was basically as though they were. He would fly back and forth if he could. She was basically a single parent as well. So when Owen found an amazing apartment with lots of space, he mentioned it to Meredith. She had dutifully accepted, saying that she couldn't say in the damn dream house any longer.

The pair started to live together and it seemed to work nicely. They could both watch each others kids and live a platonic life.

Present

"So I hope you're cooking tonight because I cooked last night and that basically used up my quota for the week." Meredith said, hugged her son Bailey after he'd given her a picture he'd drawn. "Wow! This is amazing! I'm going to put it on the fridge immediately." Owen laughed. "I am. Don't worry. I bought some chicken for us." He turned his attention to his daughter who was staring up at him with identical blue eyes. "You want some juice Lily Bean?" "Yesss peeese." She said with a grin. Owen grinned back down at her and grabbed a juice box from the fridge for her. "Daddy's going to make supper now so make sure you're good for Auntie Mer if I'm not in the room okay?" She nodded her little head and went into the living room to see what Zola was up to.

Owen made them supper while the kids helped set the table.

"What do you want Derek?" Meredith hissed into the phone. "You haven't been in Seattle in 4 months! Skyping with the kids doesn't count you know? I know you're busy and that you're sorry but this is getting ridiculous." She rolled her eyes as he rattled off an excuse before she finally hung up. "Ridiculous! That...man." Meredith said with a scowl on her face. She poured herself some wine and took a sip. "Oh I'm aware drinking around children is bad form but deal with it Hunt." Owen just smirked, not commenting. His smirk was enough to get him hit. Owen just laughed and told her to sit.

They ate cheerfully, being regaled by stories from Zola about school and Bailey about day care. Lily babbled away grinning as she often did. Eventually they finished and cleaned up the mess or rather Owen cleaned up the mess while Meredith watched the kids. She wasn't much of a cleaner and he was okay with that as long as the apartment didn't turn uninhabitable. Meredith hit him for that for even considering that she would let it get that bad. They played with the kids and eventually put them to bed. "Why haven't we slept together?" Meredith asked suddenly. "I mean we both have slept with inappropriate people multiple times and why haven't we?" Owen raised his eyebrows at her question. "Because we hated each others guts for the greater part of our relationship plus you were with Derek and you're pretty much my sister now." He replied, holding up a finger to make a point. "Well damn it Owen. I haven't been laid in MONTHS. MONTHS!" He considered this. Of course this was entirely a bad idea. She wasn't divorced and Owen was, how did she put it? Scary and damaged.

They looked at each other. Owen leaned forward and kissed her gently. While it was nice to kiss her, he felt nothing. It was clear she did as well as she swore. "Damn it." She said, frowning and folding her arms. "I'm never getting laid." "How do you think I feel?" Owen countered, raising his eyebrows. "What about...that girl in Radiology?" Meredith asked, getting up and pouring the both of them some wine. She came back to the couch and sat down again. "Oh she was way too young for me. Also, she was unaware I had a child. Needless to say, that was the end of that."

Owen was not having luck with relationships and he knew it. He felt like he'd never be happy again, at least in love. Everyone left him and that was the way it was. Owen felt like he fell too hard for the wrong women and it was like a curse for him. Meredith felt bad for her friend and wished that it hadn't come to this. Alas, it had and now Owen had decided to just focus on being a parent.

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Cristina sighed as she flipped through every channel on the television. Nothing. Netflix time. She would likely find a show and watch an entire season all night long. Typical behaviour but she didn't have to be at work until 1. She figured that it was perfectly okay. Cristina picked up her phone, staring at it, wondering if texting Meredith was a good idea. She hadn't spoken to the blond in a while and wondered if the number was still the same. Cristina typed up the small little text and nearly sent it before finally saving it to her drafts.

Eventually she fell asleep. However long later, she awoke with as start as music from next door jolted her awake. Cristina practically growled before getting up and running a hand through her long, curly hair. She made sure she was dressed and got up. Her apartment was dark as she had closed all the curtains and blinds to keep the light out. Cristina practically stomped into the hallway and knocked on the door.

'Cause you're everywhere to me
And when I close my eyes it's you I see
You're everything I know
That makes me believe
I'm not alone
I'm not alone

She waited a moment before the music got turned down a bit and the door opened. Cristina nearly had a heart attack as she saw her ex-husband standing there with a small child.

Lyrics are Everywhere by Michelle Branch.

Hope you liked my story my babies. It's been a while.