A/N: Yay! I'm starting my very first drabble collection- I'm so excited! Drabbles are fun and easier for me to write, plus I think that writing drabbles overall helps improve my writing. This will be a miscellaneous group of drabbles- as long as they have to do with Bleach and its characters. There are no restrictions on characters, pairings, situations, AU- as long as it's 1,000 words or less and Bleach-y, I'll put it in. So basically, this is like creativity exercise for me :) The goal is 100 drabbles, hopefully I'll make it! I am open to requests as well.

Here's Numero Uno!

Title: Wakame Taishi (The Seaweed Ambassador)
Length: 468
Characters: Ichigo, Rukia, Byakuya
Warnings: Language and slight violence?
Summary: On a random outing in the Kuchiki Manor with Rukia, Ichigo discovers the Seaweed Ambassador...

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"What the hell is that?" Ichigo pointed to a drawing that happened to catch his eye as he was walking down one of the many hallways of Kuchiki Mannor.

"It's the Seaweed Ambassador," replied Rukia who was increasingly regretting her decision to show him the art gallery.

"The seaweed ambassador? What kind of stupid name is that? It looks like some 5 year old kid drew a green cloud with legs and realized it sucked so badly, he gave up and drew it a face."

"It does not! The Seaweed Ambassador looks exactly the way it's supposed to—as an adorable piece of kelp that serves as the liaison between the land and the sea!"

"…an adorable piece of kelp?"

"Shut up"

Ichigo sighed and shrugged his shoulders, in a clear I-give-up gesture. "Well, I can't expect anything more from you—you're the absolute worst artist I know, even Kon can draw better than you can and he only has three fingers or claw—"

Rukia convieniently stops the flow of words by punching Ichigo in the gut. Hard.

Ichigo curses. "Damnit Rukia, why'd you hit me so hard?"

She sniffs and sticks her nose in the air, the perfect imitation of the snooty, stuck up judges in the Central 46. "It's not my fault if a certain stupid strawberry has no artistic sense whatsoever and can't recognize true art."

"You call bunnies and bears true art?"

She takes great satisfaction in taking the opportunity to jam her elbow into his side.

"OW! Geez Rukia, I know that you suck at drawing—

POW! His arm!

"—but even for you this is really sad—"

POW! His chest!

"Stop hitting me, you crazy bitch!"

POW! His stomach!

"Damn midget…" he muttered under his breath as he doubled over and wheezed for air.

"What was that?" Her eyes flash dangerously.

"Nothing"

He points an accusatory finger back at the drawing, as if he was identifying a fleeing culprit at the scene of a crime.

"But just look at that thing! Actually, I don't want to—What the hell is it again?— Kung-fu Lettuce?"

"It's the Seaweed Ambassador!"

"Whatever, all I know is that it's got to be the stupidest and weirdest thing you've ever drawn, and since we're talking about you and your artistic talent, or lack of it, that says a whole lot."

"You baka, I didn't draw that!"

A strange mix of confusion and horror dawned on his face. "B-But who else draws as crappy as you do?"

He suddenly finds himself face to face with a scowling Kuchiki Byakuya.

Oh shit, he doesn't look happy….

"Well, Kurosaki Ichigo, Do you have anything else to say about my artistic skills?"

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fin

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