Yeah, so this is just a short story. I hope you enjoy it. I don't own House or any of its characters. In case you're curious, the title come from the song "Take it outside" by the barenaked ladies, which is an awesomely funny song. Please review, good or bad :)
"So, tell me exactly what happened," Cuddy demanded, glaring at the two men seated in front of her. They were both sporting minor injuries. Making no indication of speaking, the two men merely sat in their seats facing away from each other. Cuddy's eyes widened at their immature behavior and decided that a threat was in order. "If you don't tell me, I will no choice but to fire both of you." Neither of them moved a muscle, except for a couple of scoffs.
"I'll tell you what happened." Cuddy's head whipped around and saw Thirteen standing in the doorway. Her usual confidence seemed to have disappeared and Cuddy wondered if she was the cause of this whole thing.
"Alright then, Dr. Hadley. Please continue."
The differential table was missing a person. There was a Jew, an Indian guy, a lesbian (mostly), and even a gimp. But where was the black guy? Foreman was never late. He was always the one scolding the others for coming in late, but now the glove was on the other hand. House lounged in his chair, resting his bad leg on the table.
"Thirteen, where's your boy toy? Did he catch you ogling his porn collection again?" House asked with a smile on his face.
"I didn't see him this morning. Maybe he's sick." Thirteen suggested, hoping that he wasn't there because of personal problems. He had seemed suspicious of her the other night, not that he didn't have reason.
"So there is trouble in paradise. Interesting." House said while he saw Foreman storming down the hall towards the room. "Very interesting." Foreman burst through the door, startling Thirteen, Kutner, and Taub.
"Kutner! I've got a bone to pick you!" Foreman yelled, his voice revealing an intense anger. Kutner stood up, fright showing on his usually calm features.
"That is not how it happened!" One of the men stood up quickly from his seat. His face showed the same anger that Thirteen had described only a moment ago. Turning around to face Thirteen, Foreman raised his index finger and pointed it menacingly at Kutner. "I had every right to be angry! You're screwing around with him!" He then turned to face Cuddy, who was trying to hide the astonished expression on her face. "I didn't come into the room that angry and I didn't yell. Not at first."
Foreman walked into the room, noticing the surprised looks on everyone's faces. He expected that much, he was never late. However, now wasn't the time to explain his tardiness. He looked at Thirteen, taking her worried expression in. he then shifted his eyes to the person he was looking for. He sat innocently at the other end of the table, thinking that his secret still remained safe. What he didn't know was that Foreman was well aware of his girlfriend's dirty little secret.
"Kutner, can we talk outside? It's important," Foreman added when Kutner looked at him tiredly.
"Why can't we just talk in here? There's nothing you can't say in front of everyone else."
"Yeah, Foreman, what is this about?" Thirteen asked. Her voice shook just a little, as if she knew exactly what it was about.
"Kutner, this is not something I feel comfortable talking to you about in front of everyone. It's a personal matter that doesn't concern them."
"Well then it doesn't concern me either. We have no connections outside of this job."
"What about having sex with my girlfriend!? We share that in common!"
"You're yelling at me because you can't keep your slut of a girlfriend in order!?"
"Excuse me!? What did you just call me?" Thirteen's wide eyes were directed at Foreman as he explained his view of the situation. Cuddy's eyes mirrored Thirteen's as she thought, God, what have I gotten myself into? Maybe I should just suspend them…
"I didn't call you anything. It was Kutner!" Foreman replied.
Thirteen responded with no words, just a look. The look, however, was enough. "I didn't say anything remotely similar to that!" The remaining body in the room jumped into the conversation, or perhaps argument would be the right word. Now it was Kutner pointing fingers. His index finger poked the air threateningly in Foreman's direction. "You're just making things up to make it seem like you aren't to blame! But it is your fault! And your fault," he said while shifting his finger so that it was pointing at Thirteen. "And my fault!" He said shoving his finger into his chest.
"You think you know what happened better than I do?" Foreman said, returning his voice to a normal volume level. "You might as well tell your side, then."
Aha! Obama pulling troops out in 2010, sounds interesting. Kutner began to read the article adorning the front page. He was about to find the continuation on page A7 when the door burst open. All eyes, not just Kutner's, drifted lazily towards the opened door. Foreman stood just in front of it, wearing a look of concern on his face. "Kutner, can we talk?"
Kutner's eyes scanned across the newspaper page in his hands. He read the article titles, looking for something that kept his interest.
"Yeah, sure. Is it alright if I finish this article first, though?"
"Well, Foreman, so kind of you to grace us with your presence." House said with an air of sarcasm. "Do you mind hitting on Kutner after the differential?"
"Now's not the time, House. It will only take a second of your precious time." Foreman quipped, returning the same tone of sarcasm.
"What, is it too much to ask now for you to save lives? Are your personal issues more important than our dying patient?" House was now getting into this argument. He loved starting his days off with a good argument that ended with him winning. Thirteen and Taub were merely watching the jabs that were thrown back and forth. Kutner was hurrying to finish the article so that he could just talk to Foreman. He was thought that he knew what it was about, but he couldn't dodge the conversation for long.
"Are you saying that you need me to solve this case? You can't do this with two completely capable doctors for the few minutes that Kutner and I will be in the hall?"
"Just say what you need to in here because now I want to know. Before you were just annoying, but now I'm intrigued. If you don't talk to Kutner in here, I will fire you. Actually, I'll fire her," House said and pointed his cane at Thirteen.
"Fine, go ahead and fire her. I don't care."
"NO! Don't fire her!" Kutner shouted, suddenly not so interested in the newspaper. Guessing what Foreman was going to talk with him about, Kutner initiated the embarrassing conversation. "I'm sorry that I slept with Thirteen. It just happened and we were going to tell you, but we just couldn't find the right time."
Silence, pure unadulterated silence. No breath was exhaled, none was inhaled. Eyes burned into Kutner's face while others just stared in disbelief. Kutner held his head high and met Foreman's indignant eyes. A blush slowly crept into Kutner's cheeks as he read the message that Foreman's eyes shot at him. They said that Thirteen's job was never in danger and Kutner was an idiot.
"Maybe you should've talked about this outside…" House admitted, still in shock over the news he just learned.
Foreman shook his head, "It doesn't matter now, does it?" Kutner looked as his feet and Thirteen looked as if she was about to bolt from the room. "How long has this been going on for? Was it just once or were you screwing her many times while fully aware that we were going out?"
"It started about two weeks ago. You and Thirteen had a fight, I took her out on a friendly night of drinks. We both got a little drunk and things happened that we both regretted the next morning. But ours eyes were also opened. We felt something for each other that wasn't there before. Neither of us acted on this feeling right away. In the mean time you patched things up with her and I couldn't do anything. But our love, for lack of a better word, was too strong. I couldn't stand watching you and her together. So, yes, we got together. But we were going to tell you, I promise you that. Neither of us felt comfortable about hiding our relationship." Kutner's eyes glistened with sincere tears. He wasn't close with Foreman, but lying to anyone was against Kutner's moral code. Foreman's eyes, unlike Kutner's, were dry and contorted with rage.
"This is going to be good," House observed, looking from Foreman to Kutner. He glanced in Thirteen's direction and saw that she about to get up. In that moment, Foreman charged at Kutner, arms outstretched, and Thirteen hopped out of her chair. Taub continued to watch the whole situation with surprise.
Kutner and Foreman tumbled to the floor with a large thud. Punching and flailing followed suit, causing the two men to create a mess. The rolled and Thirteen made an attempt to stop their fighting. House just watched with glee, wishing he had a video camera. Taub finally snapped out of his confused daze and helped Thirteen pull the two bloodied men apart. Foreman sported a bloody nose and Kutner had a swollen and cut lip.
"And that's what happened? Why did it take me three tries to get the correct story?" Cuddy questioned the three doctors in front of her. Though Kutner and Foreman had cleaned their faces, they still looked like crap. Their clothes were twisted and wrinkled and their faces wore exhausted expressions.
"That's what happened." Foreman announced. Then, turning to Kutner, said, "I'm sorry. You were apologizing and I tackled you. It was the wrong thing to do, but I was just so angry."
"It's okay, I understand your anger. I would probably react the same way if I were in the other shoes."
"Maybe you two should just take a few days off. And if you feel like fighting again, take it outside. Far away from this office and the hospital. You obviously have some things to discuss." Cuddy said.
As the three of them left Cuddy's office, Kutner asked, "So how'd you find out anyway?" Thirteen walked behind the two men, just in case they felt like brawling again. Her phone vibrated in her pocket, announcing the arrival of a text message. The message was from a phone number that Thirteen recognized very well. She opened it and grinned.
"Third floor storage closet, 15 minutes," The text message read. Thirteen quickly peeked at the two men in front of her and steered towards the elevators, unable to hide her devious smirk. She loved dirty little secrets.
Don't forget to review, no pressure :)