"Commander, this is amazing." Joker said in an awed voice, his hand trailing along the smooth metal of the console, fingers catching slightly on the odd circular shapes carved into the material. It was a beautiful work, all smooth edges and sleek panels, and if he hadn't been told that the vessel had been found hidden in the newly discovered ruins of a people that predated the protheans, Joker would have guessed that it had been recently manufactured, even when faced with the certainly odd layout of the ship.
It wasn't a particularly large spaceship, but not necessarily a small one either, and he couldn't as of yet say anything about its maneuverability or speed, but he still knew that this ship was most definitely going to become his all-time favorite. That this ship, was going to go down in the history books as the one that surpassed all others, and would prove impossible to recreate even with all the technology they got from the remnants of the protheans.
He was practically oozing excitement, eager to get started.
Shepard just sighed in fond expiration as he watched his pilot almost salivate over the spacecraft, well aware that it had been bound to happen as soon as he had heard of their new assignment.
He had only got the orders a few days ago, but when the people in charge wished it so, things moved along very quickly, and this time they certainly had. Though for once it wasn't the assistance of him that they needed, but rather the ones of the crewmember standing on his crutches in front of him, and he was more there to make sure that Joker didn't do anything too rash, being one of the few people able to control him somewhat.
Going by the expression on his face, it was going to be a difficult mission this time, but he didn't really mind it so much.
Having sat down at the one chair available before the control desk, Joker allowed both of his hands to seek out the almost hidden indents, trying to understand their purpose and functions.
"Tell me what you know."
"The researchers found it a month ago, hidden beneath the rubble of what they believe to be a docking bay. They were baffled by its prime condition, seeing how almost everything else was deemed unsalvageable, and quickly started studying it. They didn't learn much, however, the language and technology being too foreign, until a few days ago when they happened to stumble upon a small recording. A video that even though being in an unknown language, had a clear enough shot of this beauty", he gently clapped the console in front of him, "for them to be able to tell how to get it started."
Joker slapped his hand away before replying, "And why didn't they?"
"Because none of them knew how to handle a ship, let alone one as particular as this darling, and none of them wanted to take the chance of messing anything up. Which is why we are here, what with you being the-"
"Best damn helmsman in the Alliance fleet."
Shepard sighed at the interruption, having honestly expected it. "Anyway, with your reputation, they felt it prudent to release it into your hands for the time being. This mission was in the beginning meant to be for you alone, but somewhere along the road it was decided that apparently you were in need of a babysitter, and I a vacation, resulting in us being stuck here together for the foreseeable future. In any case, at least one of us should feel insulted."
Joker let out a mumbled agreement, but didn't really pay that much attention to Shepard, all too preoccupied feeling up the machine in front of him. "So, how do we get this show on the road then?" he asked, eager to get things started.
John reached into his pocket, taking out the small device that held the film – they had been unable to transfer it to any of their own techs – placing it on the smooth surface in front of them and pressing a small button on the side, making a screen appear above the object.
In the center of the picture there was a man, smiling brightly at the one holding the camera from his place perched in the very same chair that Joker now resided in. He looked to be around thirty years of age, brown hair and dark eyes, and looked startlingly human, so much so that if this hadn't been shot approximately 100'000 years ago, Shepard would have guessed the man really was of the same species as himself.
A female spoke from behind the camera and the man's smile widened in response, showing bright white rows of teeth, and it wasn't until he saw how unnaturally sharp those were or how strangely soft the pitch of these creatures voices were, that he could really distinguish them as a different race.
They really had sharp teeth. Predatorily so.
Then came the part they had been waiting for, the one that showed just how to go about starting the vehicle they were sitting in. The now solemn man reached out both of his hands to the sides, touching two symmetrically placed circles, stroking the edges of them in slow loops, all the while humming softly along with the motion, a tune of old that was long forgotten and buried.
Nothing happened until he began his fifth rotation. Suddenly, beams of yellow lights started to appear along the walls inside the cockpit and all the different shapes etched onto the console lit up a bright green, making both of them realize just how many they hadn't seen before, how many that had laid hidden in the shadows.
Then, when he had finished tracing the circles for the seventh time, the man stopped and moved his hands once again until the rested just above the single completely empty space on the board, slowly pressing down until his whole hands lay splayed upon the metal, his fingers stretched wide. And then, just when the empty space had begun to shine with lights as well, the recording stopped.
Joker stared at black screen in irritation for a few moments, having hoped for something more to go on than what he had actually gotten. "That's it?" He asked.
Shepard nodded in answer, "Unfortunately, yes. They were lucky to find even that much in the rubble outside this spacecraft. There may be more material available inside, but they've so far been unable to access anything, the general opinion being that the ship needs to be up and running before the locking mechanisms disables. Or, at least, that is what they're hoping for."
"And why hasn't one of them tried to do what the man in the video did? I mean, it didn't exactly look hard, and aren't these people supposed to be major science nerds with freakishly high IQ?" Joker wondered.
A slight grimace made its appearance on Shepard's scarred face as he replied. "They don't know what's going to happen once that part is over, and while the official statement is that they believe that it takes an experienced pilot able to even start this thing, it's more that none of them wanted to be at fault if they messed it up. Not after what happened on Lambau last month."
Joker made a face as well, remembering the turmoil that had taken place around the galaxy after that particular clusterfuck. "I guess I can understand where they're coming from." Still, not very nice of them to simply lay the responsibility on him and then run in the other direction.
But, seeing as he got to be the one handling this babe, he wouldn't complain. At least not excessively much. Probably.
"Oh, well, better get this show on the road, then."
Joker stretched out both of his arms as they man they had watched did, though slightly slower so not to upset his bones overly much, and started to trace the circles as he had been showed. Lights appeared all around them, mesmerizing in their foreign and so very intricate forms. He wanted to explore every nook and cranny right that very minute, know all the hows and whys and whats.
Then he stopped his movements and brought his limbs back to his center, placing them carefully in the space empty on the console, his warm and slightly sticky skin pressing against the coolness of the metal.
And there he stopped, not really knowing what else to do since there hadn't been any more directions available and no further clues had appeared as he performed the last seen step.
Well, shit.
Debating whether or not to let his hands remain, silently appreciating that Shepard kept his quiet and let him focus, Joker's brows deepened in concentration. He didn't know what would happen if he lifted his palms, but neither did he know if something would happen if they stayed where they were, and for once he really had no idea just what to do at the control table.
He didn't much appreciate it.
"You know, usually after they've done that, most people lift their hands and touch the triangle in the upper left corner. It's the only way she will start, after all."
"What the fuck!" Joker exclaimed as he heard the soft tones of an unknown man just next to his right ear. But when he turned his head, eyes searching for the source of it, there was nothing there except for Shepard who was currently staring at him with a rather weird expression, weapon in his hand and shields up.
"Joker?"
Making a shushing noise at Shepard, the helmsman continued to search through the room but in the end came up with nothing. "You mind repeating that?" He asked, and when Shepard gave him another incredulous look and began to open his mouth he shot him a look which clearly said not to.
"I said she will only start if you lift your hands and touch the triangle, little human." The voice said in a singsong voice, this time coming from all angles, like he was everywhere at once.
Nodding his head toward his commander, the brown-haired man asked, "how come he can't hear you?"
"He doesn't know me yet, so how could he?" The unknown being sounded thoroughly confused, as if the idea was completely incomprehensible. It might be as well, after all, they knew next to nothing about the civilization from which he came.
"And I do?" Joker asked curiously.
Tinkling laughter filled the air around him, joyful and deceitfully innocent. "Of course you do! Drawing circles round and round as you are, how could you not?"
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