A/N: Written for the prompt over at masseffectkink meme over at LJ. The OP said:
So lets say that Shepard in this story was a classic paragon. He was the soldier the galaxy needed, he never backed down in the face of adversity, and he always had his friends back. There was only one problem; he was really introverted and shy when not making dramatic speeches or blowing up reapers. So despite always having feelings for Tali, he never acted upon them. And then, when he finally works up the nerve to tell her how he feels, he finds Garrus and her clinging to each other down in the main battery. After the war, Shepard is completely miserable and full of self loathing and regret. He keeps a calm, happy facade up, but inside hes broken and distraught. And then, to add insult to injury, Garrus asks Shepard to be the turian equivalent of a best man at the Qurian or Turian equivalent of a wedding.
Well, I didn't manage to write absolutely everything from the prompt into the story, but I sure as hell managed to give myself a depression xD
Disclaimer: I own nothing, but my glass of lambrusco.
To Victor Go The Spoils
It sucked to be Joshua Shepard at times.
Scratch that; most of the time actually. How else would one explain blown ship, death, ressurrection, head full of apocalyptic visions and nearly fatal case of broken heart?
He always had been a good soldier; good at following orders, good at issuing orders, good at fulfilling the orders. Yet, he sucked badly when it came to emotional stuff.
The indignity, to be defeated by his own feelings and emotions.
He felt close to the young alien, Tali, nearly from the very beginning - her angry voice asking him who he was and what does he want. His heart skipped a beat when he heard her telling him about Quarian custom of linking suits and how if he were a Quarian how she would link her suit with him.
But he was idiot, never telling her how he felt and now it was too late. Garrus, that lucky bastard, scored the winning shot, the bullet going right through his chest, leaving a gaping hole where his heart used to be eternity ago, before it too was reconstructed and then broken apart.
The worst about it was that he was supposed to be the best man on the wedding, keep happy face, tease both groom and bride, embarrass them with some funny stories told the rest of the guests and most of all, focus on not getting drunk. Getting drunk would be forbidden, since he couldn't trust himself not to spill his deepest secret of all.
As he aimed his pistol at the red glowing tube in front of him, he felt himself straighten up and walk forward with a smile.
The Reapers will be destroyed. His heart will not be broken any further.