Again, my Malec feels have controlled me to write this story. Enjoy. :)
Putting my defenses up
Cause I don't wanna fall in love
If I ever did that, I think I'd have a heart attack
If he ever found someone to love, he probably die of surprise.
He vowed never to fall in love with a Shadowhunter, or maybe, love in general.
Never put my love out on the line
Never said yes to the right guy
Never, ever, in his 800 years of existence has he ever said yes to someone he might love.
Love seemed too painful, too complicated, too impossible.
Never had trouble getting what I want
But when it comes to you I'm never good enough
But then he met him, and he felt like giving in to him, and his blue eyes.
For once, he felt insecure, like he would never be good enough for this shy boy with black hair and blue yes.
When I don't care
I can play him like a Ken doll
He used to never care, being a party type, and just going with the flow.
But that was before him.
Won't wash my hair
Then make him bounce like a basketball
He could relax around him.
But he tried harder, he wanted to be enough for him.
He wanted this to work.
But you make me wanna act like a boy
Eating junk food and playing X-box
He made him feel so young, so careless, and he liked it.
He made him feel alive, for the first time in 800 years, he made him feel complete.
He could eat whatever around him, wear anything, be anything, and he wouldn't care, he would smile and kiss him lightly.
Yes you, make me so nervous that I just can't hold your hand
A Lightwood made the High Warlock Of Brooklyn's handssweaty.
He made him blush.
It was an unfamiliar feeling, and he liked it.
You make me glow
Everyone noticed.
Vampires who come to him, say that his presence actually hurts.
Even that annoying parabatai of Alec's commented that he was more glow-y than usually.
That just made him smile even more.
But I cover up, won't let it show
So I'm putting my defenses up
He couldn't. He shouldn't.
He shouldn't love this boy, it would just end in heartbreak. It would just be painful.
He didn't think that dating this Lightwood would lead to something so meaningful, but so impossible.
Cause I don't wanna fall in love
He never wanted to be in love, to love is to destroy, as Jace Wayland had said.
Love stomped on his heart and ripped it to pieces.
But he picked up the pieces and glued the pieces together.
He hated the fact, that one day, he wouldn't be there to glue the pieces back together, and it scared him.
It scared him that he was so in love.
If I ever did that, I think I'd have a heart attack
I think I'd have a heart attack
I think I'd have a heart attack
He would have a heart attack whenever he saw him.
The way his black hair flopped over his beautiful blue eyes, unlike any other Lightwood.
The way he blushed when he called him beautiful.
The way he would smile when he would come over.
The way, he was so vulnerable, and the way he was unlike anyone he ever had dated.
Never break a sweat for the other guys
When you come around I get paralyzed
For some unexplainable reason, his heart skipped a bit when he saw him.
He got scared with him, what if he got too close, and when time would come, it would destroy him.
He would become still at the thought, a lump forming in his throat, but he would hug and ask him what was wrong and give him a kiss.
And that was enough for now.
And every time I try to be myself
It comes out wrong like a cry for help
He tried to act like he did in the past, but the words caught in his throat.
He couldn't toss him around like a doll, he was more, he was like a china doll, with delicate features.
He just couldn't act like he didn't care, because he cared more that he could ever know.
It's just not fair
Brings more trouble than it all is worth
Love is just another word for pain.
It always ends like that.
Why should he be different than all the other ones in the past?
A small voice in his head would answer, because he's vulnerable, he's cares, he loves. He loves you.
And as much as he didn't want to admit it, he did too.
I gasp for air
It feels so good, but you know it hurts
A touch. A hug. A kiss.
Him giving him any one of these felt was more special than any party he could ever throw.
A touch on the shoulder, or holding hands meant more to him than anything.
He felt pathetic, but he couldn't help it, especially with those damn blue eyes.
But you make me wanna act like a boy
Eating junk food and playing X-box
He played video games and ate junk food and talked and did all the things he didn't do with anyone else.
It felt nice, to be wanted more than just physically.
For you, make me so nervous that I just can't hold your hand
He, Alec Lightwood made him, High Warlock Of Brooklyn, feel like an insecure little girl on her first date.
And for some strange reason, he was okay with that.
The feelings got lost in my lungs
Words got stuck in his throat, Alec occupied his mind, feelings overwhelmed him, not believing that one person could feel so much for another.
They're burning, I'd rather be numb
He felt his resolve to never love crumble, at the will of blue eyes and black hair.
He felt himself getting cold and numb at the thought that he wouldn't be there one day.
Love always ended, but it was worth it, feeling that.
And there's no one else to blame
So scared I'll take off and run
No one to blame, except himself for being so stupid and him for being so lovable, and somehow, again, he only wanted to feel this fire with him, no one else, this was theirs.
I'm flying too close to the sun
And I'll burst into flames
He poked the flames, provoked it, gambled, and the results were pleasantly burning.
He was in love, he took a risk with this boy and ending up falling harder than he ever had.
You make me glow
But I cover up, won't let it show
So I'm putting my defenses up
Cause I don't wanna fall in love
He never wanted this, to be in love, love was useless and disgusting to watch, but suddenly, all that didn't matter.
Because he was with him, and it was disgustingly cheesy, but he was his world now, and it was incredibly fragile, but it was there.
If I ever did that, I think I'd have a heart attack
I think I'd have a heart attack
I think I'd have a heart attack
I think I'd have a heart attack
I think I'd have a heart attack
He couldn't deny it.
He
.
.
.
Was
.
.
.
Falling
.
.
.
Hard
.
.
.
For Alexander Lightwood.
DONE! YAY! Anyways, review, favorite, and I will love you forever. So, thank you in advance and I hope to see you in my reviews box thingy.