Sometimes, when the night is still and the world around is calm, he thinks.

Often it's about mundane things, such as tech or the motel or Mother (with her silver-green eyes and soft, honey locks). He used to think about Juno and what to eat for breakfast the next day (so she could safely eat the leftovers), but that would be pointless now. Juno doesn't eat anymore. She can't.

Sometimes, when the moon is hidden and the house is silent, he dreams.

Dreams of people long out of his reach, of moments long since over.

These are his favorite.

But. But when the moon is witness and the night still young, he remembers.

Blood and hands and skin and so good oh god please no wait norman what are you doing—

He knows by now how to tell the difference. The memories only ever come between sleep, when he is in the in-between void of semiconsciousness.

The dreams only when he sleeps.

And the thoughts only when he finds himself awake.

Mother is worried about him. She tells him that his obsession isn't healthy.

(she was your teacher, norman it's not like she was your mother or something)

(he wants to tell her that he knows that but she was there and she knows what happened and why aren't you worried too, mother this is both of our faults and we will both have to deal with the backlash but he doesn't and he won't because then his I love you mother and I trust that you know what you're doing's might lose credit and where would he be then)

(some days he doubts she even remembers because she expresses such sincere sorrow and concern over his own but he knows that's impossible because don't be silly, norman, she was there she saw you she told you what to do)

Norman wonders why she insists that he let it go when he so vividly remembers that car that house the road the rain the surge—

But he continuously draws a blank when he tries to remember.

(he knows she was there but he doesn't know where or when or what)

All he's able to remember is that car that voice and flashes of sound and sight that only make him more confused.

But Mother was there (where?)

This he knows for certain (how?)

Why can't he just be left alone to think and feel and (oh god norman— wait what are you doing) mourn without being told that he's obsessive and (crazy) needs to move on?

(because mother won't let you) [he ignores that]

It's Friday and he's at the cemetery again but now Mother is here and telling (yelling at) him to leave because it's not healthy norman she died four months ago but he doesn't want to (he does it anyway because mother knows best even when she doesn't and he tries to always remember that because if he doesn't he may just try to go in and grab ahold of her and squeeze her until she can't spout anymore un-right things—

but he knows that's and he loves her so he won't and he'll just keep remembering that she's always right even when she isn't)

Soon enough, Mother's petitioning the council and he's back at the cemetery and there's a man just standing there, in front of her grave so he takes out his phone and takes some pictures even as he yells for him to stop.

He goes to Romero but Romero doesn't believe him and nobody believes him and he doesn't understand what's happening anymore so he goes home and sits on the couch and watches old movies until Mother comes in and yells at him and tells him that he's not normal (norman this is not sane) but he yells back and by the end he's told her all he remembers of that night and he's in tears.

Bradley's in his room and there's no time to question how she got into the house because she's asking for the help he promised to give but she won't tell him why and when she does he almost wishes she hadn't but a promise is a promise and he will keep that promise because if nothing else Norman Bates is truthful.

So he gets her the money and the hair dye and the ticket and dyes her (sweet-smelling, silky, dirty blonde) hair and lets her know the time but Mother's gotten the idea that they should do a musical so Norman's doing a musical. (despite the fact that he can't get to bradley and she'll miss her buss and damnit all but dylan is his only choice for this)

Norman's made the call and Dylan is making sure Bradley gets there so he auditions with Mother and ignores the guilt eating eating him alive because you were supposed to see her off norman not dylan you idiot you missed your chance at goodbye.

When they get back they hear the news of the arrest and for a while Norman's thoughts settle.

But then he's with Cody and suddenly he feels like he's suffocating because he's almost certain he's been in this situation before—

So he tries to shake off the memories that are right at the edge of his mind and just feel and the memories are gone again.

Soon enough Mr. Brennan's dead (norman can't stand people who try to harm his friends) and Norman's looking down the stairs and feeling exhilarated, with the blood pounding through each vein and his lips fighting off a delighted smile because god that felt good but he knows that's not a normal thought so Norman doesn't laugh or smile or anything alike. He merely stares at the body and tries to ignore the all too familiar sensation of his blood going elsewhere and—

The woman at the police station takes his nails and saliva and hair and shirt and cuts him off when he tries to ask what's going on and Norman decides he doesn't like her.

But he's being questioned and he tells most of the truth because they don't need to know about how good it felt to shove Mr. Brennan down the stairs and they let him leave.

Cody left but now Mother's lying and Norman can't help but wish she would shut up with the lies and just tell him the truth because mother please just tell me what am I and what do I do (he won't tell her that it's because he's terrified of hurting her)

The sheriff is asking him questions about Ms. Watson and Norman can't help but feel as if he's being accused of some horrible crime.

He's terribly confused and lost when the sheriff asks him if he slept with her and now Norman can't help but think about that night and all he wants is an answer from Mother that he knows won't come.

It's cold and hot and dark and light and dry and wet and Norman swears he hasn't slept in days and Norman wants to cry but he can't so instead he screams until he can't do that, either and eventually he's still and drifting and that's when the memories come.

Ms. Watson's face and words of caution and Mother's accusing and then he's in her bed with her beneath him and eventually he knows that it isn't enough so he slits her throat and gets his release and then he cleans up the scene as best he can and takes some beads before he's out the door

And all Norman can do is scream until his throat is raw and beg for help until he forgets how to because he knows why he killed her and he doesn't regret any of it.

He makes a list and tries to end it but eventually it all comes circling back and Norman still doesn't regret it.

But only the Moon will witness his deceit because Norman's gotten smarter and heknows.