Wrote it this morning, yes it's another songfic (surprised) but it is not the full song. It's a sequel to Siberia and I think it definitely deserves a part 3. Let me know what you guys think. Okay off to the movies now to watch Sparkle again. Can't wait to see your reviews when I get back ;)
If I Don't Have You- BSB
Now that he was a single man he found himself alone more often. His marriage was over, his kids would come every other weekend, and the woman he truly loved had walked out of his life. Most of his days were spent at his new home in New Orleans. It's in the middle of the French Quarter not far from Bourbon Street, an area he found himself going more often. Kevin just wanted to live a little but how could he live when his heart was imprisonment? Whitney had his heart locked away and the key never to be found. To be truthful Kevin wanted her to claim it as only hers anyway. This home was hers too, they bought it together for whenever they needed to get away from whatever they were running from. And she was running from him.
Kevin sat back in his chair next to a window with a cup of coffee in his hand and pen and note pad. He loved writing about her. He wrote songs, poems, anything his heart was feeling he put it down on paper. It was something new he had started doing which was now frequently since she decided to return to her husband. He took one sip, put the mug down and began to write.
EVERYDAY GIRL I WAKE UP AND PRAY THAT YOU'LL COME BACK HOME, DON'T TAKE TO LONG. CAUSE SINCE YOU'VE BEEN GONE EVERYTHING'S GONE A BIT WRONG. I WISH YOU WERE HERE HOLDING ME NEAR.
Since that fateful day she left him in New York to return to her husband, Kevin has been in shambles. His movies aren't doing so good anymore, his heart was in pieces, and he has been bed hopping trying to replace something that is irreplaceable. When he left she took all of him with her and she could never understand that. Kevin did think about the good times they shared especially here in the Big Easy.
Sometime in early 1995
Kevin and Whitney were moving a few things into their newly purchased French Quarter home
"How do you know so many people from all walks of life?" she asked him
"Well you should know, when you travel often you meet people. I have lot's of friends in various places"
"And they are all willing to keep our dirty little secret?"
"A few of them yes. I wouldn't just expose us to anyone I trust these people"
"And I am putting my trust in you for this not to get out. The papers are always snooping in our business ya know" she finished unpacking the last box and then sat down at their lovely table they picked out together. "I love our new home" she smiled looking around the big kitchen
"I love it too because I get to share it with you and our future children!"
"Now I know you are joking, though I can see us maybe one day in the distant future raising some together. I know BK would love to have a little playmate"
"Believe me I will work on that tonight!" he made her smile
"Do you really like the furniture that we picked out together?" she asked him changing the subject
"I like whatever you like"
"No don't start saying that again because you were getting on my nerves back there. This is our place, we agreed to decorate it the way we like. And it really can't feel like ours if you don't have an opinion."
When they were picking out furniture, colors, and drapes she wanted everything that they liked together not just her. But he agreed with everything she said. He was just happy that she was there with him, he didn't care about any of that stuff as long as he got her.
"Your opinion is my opinion, I like whatever you like!"
"Baby shut up"
"Where do you want to eat tonight?"
"Whatever place that serves good gumbo and potato salad! Back when I did the I'm Your Baby Tonight tour I stayed in The Monteleone and there was a restaurant just down the block. They served some wonderful seafood gumbo."
"So that's what you want tonight?"
"That's what I want!"
Her man arranged for them to get a pick up from the restaurant so they could eat at home. They didn't have enough disguises yet to be out and about so they would dine in for now. After eating their dinner they he started the fireplace and she sat at her piano and played a little. She was playing a few notes from one of "their" songs from the movie. He recognized it right away and sat next to her.
"That's beautiful"
"I know"
"I didn't know you knew how to play so well"
"Yeah I learned when I was young how to play the piano but I never get to show it at my concerts or anything." she continued to play and he listened until he wanted to sing.
"I feel so all alone, I wanna run to you" he sung to her and he continued to sing the chorus and serenaded his lovely lady. She stared to sing to him on the second verse
"Each day, each day I play role of someone always in control. But at night I come home and turn the key, there's nobody there, no one cares for me." She was going in on the second line but Kevin reached for her left hand and she stopped playing. He brought ii to his lips and started kissing her fingers. He tenderly kissed her wrist and moved up her arm taking his time. Going further and further up until he got to her collar bone. He stopped for a moment to move her hair out of the way and went for her neck. She let out a soft moan letting him know that that was what she wanted. The rain started pouring outside it was magical.
The couple moved to the floor and he rested her back on the carpet as he worked on her body. Her man took his time with her seeing to her body's every need. When he began to undress her he did it slowly and gently because she was like a work of art, something that only God could have created so perfectly. Everytime they made love they were making art work. Nothing could ever be replicated, they were two perfect people. He put his hand behind her back and leaned her forward to him so he could get a better look at her top half. She had talked about getting surgery but he told her countless times that they were perfect just the way they are. Only some fool could be filling her head up with that nonsense.
"Your so perfect to me, everything about you fascinates me!"
"I fascinate you?" she asked
"Your body is like my personal play ground"
"Have you been listening to my cds again?" she laughed
"Occasionally" he went to kiss her some more until she turned the tables and put him on his back. She stared working her magic on him. She took his shirt off laid tender kisses on his chest, and he let out a long low wail from the touch of her lips. She liked what she was hearing too and continued. After a few minutes of just kissing and embracing they made love like there was no tomorrow. During there love making though he noticed from the light coming out the fireplace that she had a bruise on her back. He wondered where that came from and he would certainly ask her about it the morning.
He was already up when she woke up from her sleep. He had held her tight in his arms all night, he was afraid to let her for obvious reasons.
"Umm good morning" she kissed him
"Good morning, we need to brush our teeth"
"I know I hate morning breath"
"I don't want that to stop you from kissing me"
"That's gross baby"
"No it's not, not to me"
"What time is it?" she asked sitting up a bit
"Almost six"
"Well then let's go and brush these teeth before we start another hot, passionate love making session!"
"Before we start that I want to ask you something"
"ok shoot"
"Last night I noticed you have a bruise on your back"
"Oh"
"Where did it come from?" after she went to sleep she stayed up thinking about it. He had determined that it came from that no good sorry ass husband of hers.
"I slipped and fell in the tub last week, I'm fine promise"
"Come on that's not the truth"
"Yes it is"
"No it's not! Did he do that to you?" he asked her calmly and she didn't speak which just confirmed it for him
"That son of a bitch!" he yelled which startled her a bit, she never seen him this angry before
"Ok baby calm down"
"He puts his hands on you!"
"Honey please just listen to me"
"His Ass Is Mine! You can guarantee that, who the hell does he think he is! No man should ever put his hands on a woman! I can't believe this, why did he do it?"
"It's nothing to worry about"
"Nothing to worry about, he gave you a bruise he hit you!"
"He didn't hit me he shoved me against the wall"
"Where is he now?"
"He is on tour with his band"
"What city are they in so I could find him!"
"What are you going to do? Fly out there on a red eye and kick his ass?"
"Yes that is what I will do"
"No your not!"
"Tell me where that bitch is"
"I've already handled it trust me"
"But I can handle it better, I know people and if I have to I will put a hit on his sorry ass life!" for some reason she believed him when he said that.
"What I want you to do is not worry about it. You forgot I have brothers"
"Baby this hurts me, it hurts to know that "It" is treating you this way. You don't have to go through this, you are your child. I can show you what love really is"
"And you already do"
"Then be with me now"
"It's not that simple" she only said that then got up and put the sheet around her body and left to go take a shower.
Back in the Present
That was one of the worst moments in his life, finding out that she was being physically abused by him. After there conversation that day he left that issue alone. They only had 3 weeks to spend with each other alone and he wanted to enjoy it without fighting with her. He wrote down another line to what was turning into a song.
YOU KNOW I'D GO OUT OF MY MIND IF YOU EVER LEFT MY HEART BEHIND. SO I'M BEGGING YOU PLEASE BRING YOUR SWEET LOVE BACK TO ME. PLEASE COME BACK TO ME.
Another memorable moment from their three weeks together happened one day when they decided to go on a ghost tour. This was their first time ever doing one and they met with a crowd of people with the tour guide. They wore their disguise and no one ever noticed or figured out it was them. Luckily they knew how to blend in well.
They were taking the 7pm tour because she didn't want to be too spooked from her new town. She loved it there and the history behind the city was intriguing. There meeting place was at a voodoo shop and upon their arrival there was already a few people.
"Wow there has to be at least twelve or thirteen people here already. You think we will get noticed?"
"No I don't think so" they were blending in well with their surroundings so he wasn't really worried. They talked amongst themselves until the tour was ready to start.
They group arrived in front of an old hotel that looked just as eerie as it sounded
"This is the LaLaurie House, it was owned by a wealthy man and his wife who were the toasts of the town back in the 1800s." the tour guide started to tell them about the history of the house and what had happened there. The story goes that back during the slavery days that man's wife Delphine LaLaurie would torture and kill her slaves. She kept them chained in the attic, the basement, just wherever she could. She would disfigure the slaves and sort of play doctor by reattaching their body parts onto other slaves and what not. One night one during a very important party that was being held at the mansion a guest discovered the cook in the kitchen that was chained to the stove. Something happened and a fire broke out and the LaLauries fled. Since what she was doing was way past beatings and what not she would be charged with murder. No one knows where she and her husband went and her she was never charged for her crime. The way the tour guide told the story was way freakier and it scared most of the tour guest. After they left that place they went to the most haunted bar in the French Quarter.
Later around 9 something when the couple got home, she was a little afraid to sleep that night.
"What if this place is haunted?"
"Babe we have been here for a little more over a week I'm sure we would have seen or heard something by now. Besides I've already done some research on this place. It was built in the mid 80s." he told her taking off their jackets
"What if the grounds are haunted, like in Poltergeist!" she exclaimed
"We are fine, nothing is haunting our new house and nothing is buried in our yard. Now can we go take a shower and relax?"
"Yeah sure" she said leading him upstairs
"Did you have a good time though?"
"Yeah it was a good learning experience but some stories were beyond scary. The story about house/ hotel with the cornstalk cast iron fence was creepy. The fence was beautiful though"
After they took their shower the two went in for the night. He was catching up on baseball scores and she was on the phone with her daughter.
"I love you honey, I will come pick you up this weekend I promise" she mad a smooching sound into the phone and then talked to her mother again. "She's being good for you and dad is she?"
"Yeah she always is, your father took her to the zoo today and she loved that!"
"I'm sure she did"
"So how is your rendezvous going?" her mother was anxious to know. She looked over at her perfect man and smiled. "It's wonderful everything is just great"
He smiled to himself
IF I DON'T HAVE YOU TO HOLD ON TO. I CAN'T GO ON IN THIS WORLD ALONE. BABY IT'S TRUE IF I DON'T HAVE YOU.
Just thinking about all their good times was enough to drive him mad. He hadn't heard from her in a month and didn't know when he would hear from her again. He did know that she was doing ok because Dionne would call to check on him. But he would wonder if the one he loved ever asked about him.
Two weeks ago on the phone with Dionne
"So how are you doing?"
"I'm getting better, I have to"
"You stopped drinking right?"
"Yeah I did, I got help like you asked me to"
"I'm still worried about you, your like brother so I'm going to be a little protective of you"
"I'm thankful that you care D, how have you been?"
"I'm doing good, I went to see the doctor the other day he said I need to lay off the sodium"
"Listen to your doctor and do what he asks"
"I am, I think my life is boring Kev"
"Join the club, mine is just as boring and lonely"
"She'll come back I know she will, just try and keep yourself busy"
"How is she doing?"
"I guess she is happy, I think she is trying to avoid me too. She knows you and I talk often"
"I do not understand your girl at all, everything she wants and needs is right here with me. I don't understand why she doesn't see that"
"She does but she might just be scared"
"Scared of what I don't know. I'm trying to get past her but it's hard Dionne it really is. I love her more than words could ever say and she just turns her back on me.
IF YOU SAID YOU SAID GOODBYE, GIRL I WOULD DIE. I'M A STAR WITH NO LIGHT A DAY WITH NO NIGHT. IF I DON'T HAVE YOU.
He finished the last of his coffee and sat hit pen and paper down, he needed a break! His emotions were going to get the best of him again. Why did she always go about breaking his heart, if it were the other way around she wouldn't be pining over him. Sure she would probably cry for about a week or two like some women but that would be it. Why was it him always in mourning? He didn't want to cry anymore, he didn't want to drag around there house pitiful as can be. He was going to take charge and it was going to be now!
He dialed her home number and let it rang until someone picked up the phone.
"Hello!" he heard a rugged man say
"Great I got you!"
"Who's this?"
"You know who it is!" Kevin said back
"Your calling my fuckin house!" "It" went on and on until someone took the phone
"Hello?" she said
"Call me back when you can" and then hung up. She still had the phone held to her ear until her husband spoke up
"Who the hell was that?"
"A prank caller"
Later after her husband fell asleep Whitney dialed their New Orleans number until Kevin answered
"What was that all about earlier?" she spoke
"I needed to speak to you since you obviously don't want to speak with me!"
"It's not like that"
"Yes it is you don't speak with Dionne, I've called your mother to check how you are doing- she doesn't know…."
"I know but"
"And not once have you called me to check and see how I was doing"
"I'm sorry"
"Don't say your sorry because with the way you have been acting towards me I'm not sure you really are"
Whitney didn't know what to say after that
"I've been sitting here day after day trying to figure out what I did, where did it go wrong between us. You left me in that hotel and went back to him after all that we have been through. Why?"
"You know why I left"
"That's not good enough for me!" he shouted
"It's gonna have to be" she said back trying to not get too angry with him. "One day you and I will talk about it I promise, but not now Kevin. We have to be face to face"
"I love you so much so I could never hate you for this, I just hate the decisions you make. You make the wrong decisions. You do everything for everyone but yourself"
"Is that all you called for Kevin? To tell me all of this and upset me?"
"Am I making you upset?" he asked
"Yes because this is not how I want us to be, I don't want to be like this with you"
"Well good because I've been upset and sad since the moment you left. I just want to say that I'm tired of waiting, waiting for you to make up your mind and decide who you want. And since you've already made that decision I can let you go."
"What?"
"It's over, everything between us is. I can't just be friends with you so I have to let you go"
"Kevin wait…"
"Like I said I'm tired of waiting. I still love you though"
And he hung up on her again and she was left there speechless. She did think about calling him back but it's best that she gives him time to cool off. She can't believe what just happened either. She knew she made a mistake of not calling him and she needed to fix this.