Title: The shadow of her heart

Autor: Nic

Pairing: Duh Leyton of course

Summary: Lucas broke Peyton's heart in one million pieces, now her heart is only a shadow of what it once was. Spoiler Season 5 ... ONESHOT

Disclaimer: I don't own One Tree Hill or the characters. They are the property of Mark Schwahn and Warner Bros. Television Production Inc.

Autors Note: Thx to Anna for beta reading.
I'm so hating what's going on in the show and I hate Lucas for always saying Peyton said NO when he proposed to her. Which is SO NOT TRUE! I wished I could kick first Lindsay out the show along with psycho nanny and then, Peyton could knock some sense into Lucas or maybe Brooke could do that for her. And since when had Haley become so annoying? And why the fuck didn't Nathan defend Peyton at the dinner with that bitch Lindsay? Anyway here goes nothing ...

I keep the pain of a broken soul
Wounds that just won't heal
No one knows
Not even you

Her heart is hardly a shadow anymore because he broke her heart three years ago. Lucas Scott promised to have waited for her, yet, he couldn't have given her one damn year. Leaving her without any goodbye, her broken heart shattered into a million pieces. Ever since then, Peyton cried herself to sleep, knowing that she will never stop loving him. He moved on and had gotten himself engaged.

After that kiss in her office, she thought without a doubt, that he still loved her. To her surprise, when she arrived at Lucas' house, Lindsay opened the door. She had been informed that Lucas had just asked her to marry him. Her heart shattered once more of what was left of her remaining heart, never to be mended. Lucas had chosen Lindsay, not her.

Peyton sat at her mother's grave, tears rolled down her face like rain from the sky. All of her emotions and the memories of what had happened since she came back flooded her mind.

"When a man asks you to marry him, you say yes. You don't say no! I never said no! I said that I loved you and that I did wanna marry you some day and, oh God, Luke! I wanted you so bad but you gave up on us. I, I gave up on us? Yes! by proposing I gave up on us? No! by not waiting you gave up on us, and you know that's the truth!"

And it was. But than again denial always was Lucas best friend.

"That's great Peyton. You wanna talk truth, let's tell the truth. You gave up on me! That's why you didn't say yes, you didn't think I could do it! You didn't think I could get my novel published, maybe you just didn't care, because it wasn't about you, or what you wanted."

The stabbing feeling of a sharp knife entered her already pained heart.

"Well, if that's the truth, if I never cared, then how come every time I see this stupid book I buy it, every stupid damn time Luke. You said I was great! You said I could be great! You said we were destined to be together, you said it to the world, you said it to me and I wish you never had because you did not mean any of it."

She really wished he hadn't said all those things to her, because she really believed him. Now, every hope, every feeling that was left had been vanished.

"Let me ask you something. Do you have like an alarm in your head that goes of everytime I'm happy with someone else? What do you want from me? I fly to L.A., I asked you to marry me, you said no, so I moved on. Why haven't you? Because I should have said yes. Luke I was young and I was scared and I did not realized that but saying I wasn't ready it would mean that we would never be together again. Had I known that I would have said yes. Peyton. No Luke I miss you every day. And I've told everyone here that I didn't come back for you, but I did. Of course I did. I still love you Lucas. Peyton I ..."

Why had he kissed her back?

"You still love me don't you? I have to go see Lindsay."

Why had he run to Lindsay and proposed? Why? Why was he punishing her repeatedly? Everything had been taken away from her. Why couldn't he stop hurting her?

"Don't marry her, Luke! I'm in love with her, Peyton!"

The worse part was that she hated the fact that she still loved him. Hating him, she couldn't, even if she tried.

Everything that was left in her had just died because of him. And now, her heart was hardly a shadow anymore.

- Fin -

I hope I did Peyton justice by describing how she felt. Please review and let me know what you think.