"John, John wake up."

John rolled over and slammed the pillow over his head. If I ignore him eventually he will go away... maybe. Unfortunately John was not so lucky, Sherlock gave him thirty seconds to respond and then decided to pounce. He landed on John's bed with a slight oofand scooted closer. He pulled the pillow off of John's head and proceeded to lay across his torso.

"Joooooohn we need milk. I need it for an experiment and we are all out."

John sighed and pushed the lanky consulting detective off of him and onto the floor. "Bugger off Sherlock, 'm sleeping."

"Not any more! I need milk John. Now. I Need it. It's... vital." Sherlock was now crouched by the bed peering over the edge mere inches from John's face.

"Get it yourself Sherlock! You have legs, why don't you use them to go to Tesco's and buy your own damn milk?"

"Because that's your job John. I'm much too busy to get the milk. Besides I don't even know it's location in Tesco's, it would be much more expedient if you went yourself."

"Bloody hell Sherlock it's three am!" Sherlock pouted his eyes becoming what was commonly referred to as "puppy dog eyes". Damn it. "Fine Sherlock, I'll go! but you better damn well be grateful!"

Sherlock smiled wolfishly, "Oh I am." Before John had time to properly process that Sherlock had flounced out of the room, presumably back to the kitchen to work on his experiment.

John rolled out of bed and pulled a jumper from a drawer. Grumbling he yanked it over his head and stumbled down the stairs towards the front door. Fucking genius and his adorable face and ability to make me do anything he wants. Damn him.John tried to ignore the fact that he had just thought of Sherlock's face as adorable as he pulled on his coat.

"Oh, John? Do you think you could also get some honey? We're clean out." Sherlock's pouty voice drifted from the kitchen.

"Oh sure Sherlock, do you want the whole of Tesco's? No of course I don't mind going at three am in the bloody morning!" John muttered under his breath.

"No I just want the milk and honey, but it was good of you to offer."

Bloody wanker had the hearing of a bat.

It was colder than John had expected outside and the street was clear of people. Not surprising at this time of night.As he rounded the corner he saw two men walking down the block towards him, arm in arm. One was a small man with a high pitched giggle and the other a tall blonde with a military baring. John stuffed his hands in his pockets and made his way towards Tesco's and past the couple. As he drew near he heard the smaller man call out his name.

"John! Oh look Sebby it's the friend of that beautiful man I met the other day! You know, the one I told you that you would like?" The small man pulled the other along by his hand towards John. As they met under the street lamp John recognized him. It was Jim from IT, the man who had been dating Molly and who Sherlock had accused of being gay. Obviously Sherlock had been right.

"Now don't be jealous Seb, you know you're the only one I reallywant." Jim winked and kissed the tall man, Seb, on the cheek blushing and giggling as he pulled away.

"Hullo Jim." John said dully, looking around for some way of escaping the two. His only desire right now was to get to Tesco's, get the bloody shopping done and go home. He was far too polite to say so though.

Jim giggled again. "I do love the polite one's! Hmmm... oh yes! John this is Sebastian, my husband. We live just up the street. We're just getting home. Sometimes Sebby likes to keep me up all hours!" He winked again and giggled maniacally while the man next to him made a small noise between a grunt of affirmation and a snort.

"I thought you were dating Molly?" Even though John just wanted this encounter to end he was concerned, Molly was a nice girl and John didn't want her to be hurt by this Jim.

"Oh Molly's a friend and you know she wanted some help." John stared at him blankly. "To make Sherlock jealous you know. Speaking of, what are you doing out at this time of night without your delicious flatmate?" John saw the muscles in Sebastian's jaw tighten imperceptibly, someone has a jealousy problem.

"Just getting some groceries, you know a late night run. Sherlock wanted milk and honey and so off I went. The tosser wouldn't leave me alone."

"Jim can be the same way sometimes. He does like getting his way." John glanced over to Sebastian in surprise. It was the first time he had spoken in this entire odd conversation. John looked him up and down, there was something about the man he didn't quite trust.

"So you must live near here then?" Jim said eyes bright.

"Sherlock and I share the flat at 221 B." As soon as he said this John instantly regretted it. Now these two would be hanging around trying to catch glimpses of Sherlock. The prospect of that besides being annoying, also made John's gut twist with jealousy. What is going on with me?

Jim positively squealed with delight. "We live right next door!" So these were the married one's Mrs. Hudson had been referring to. "Isn't that just wonderful Sebby? We can become friends, and visit each other, and have parties! Oh this is so lovely!" Sebastian looked as horrified at the prospect as John felt.

Sebastian cleared his throat and wrapped his arm around Jim's waist. "Jim don't you think we better let John go? It's very late and if Sherlock's anything like you he'll be getting impatient waiting." He gave John a grin that seemed far to full of teeth, "Goodnight Dr. Watson. Come along Jim." He pulled Jim aways and towards their flat.

"Bye John! Tell Sherlock I said hi! If you want to come over just give us a call, Sherlock has my number!" With one last wink over his shoulder and a giggle Jim and Sebastian were gone rounding the corner down the street.

John pulled his collar up and resumed his march towards Tesco's. a few steps later he stopped suddenly struck by an odd thought. I don't remeber telling Jim or Sebastian that I was a doctor, or my last name.With a shrug John banished the though from his mind and continued on.

Jim closed the door to the flat he was sharing with Sebastian for the time being and began howling with laughter. He doubled over cackling maniacally and slid down the wall ending up on the ground.

"Ooooh Seb that was just too good! Little Johnny boy didn't suspect a thing, did he?" Standing up he wiped the tears from his eyes, a testament to how much he enjoyed their little charade tonight.

Sebastian chuckled, "It certainly was fun, me playing the jealous husband, you the over-excited and infatuated glitter boy."

Jim walked towards Sebastian eyes dangerous. "But Seb I do love glitter." He neared his husband and abruptly grabbed a fistful of his hair and pulled Seb's neck back exposing his neck. He licked from his collarbone to his ear where he stopped and blew into his ear ever so lightly. "And I thought you were my jealous husband." Jim pulled back and Sebastian grinned his feral hunting smile that turned Jim on so much.

"Oh you know that's true Jim."

"Then show me."

John trudged up the steps to their flat the Tesco bag with milk and honey in one hand. Suddenly his phone buzzed in his hand. He looked at the screen and found a text from Sherlock.

John I also need earplugs.
Alarming noises coming from
married ones next door.
SH