"One thing I don't know why, It doesn't even matter how hard you try

Keep that in mind, I designed this rhyme, to explain in due time

All I know, time is a valuable thing, watch it fly by as the pendulum swings

Watch it count down to the end of the day, the clock ticks life away

It's so unreal, didn't look out below, watch the time go right out the window

Trying to hold on but didn't even know, wasted it all just to, watch you go..."

Tilting my head up, the sun setting, going to sleep for the day. The hues of orange and purple, and pink all blending beautifully. I cherished things like this, you never know how much time you have left in this world. You could have seconds if you not careful.

The means of such beauty i had never seen before as a child. Thoughts drifted into my mind, painful memories i spend hours on end trying my hardest to forget, failing everytime. Everywhere i looked i was reminded, of everything.

The awe quickly faded, reminding me of what had to happen to witness a sunset like this. Now it just made me bitter and resentful. I always question whether or not human extinction was worth it. But the earth needed to heal, i just wished it hadn't come with such a terrible price.

"I kept everything inside and even though I tried, it all fell apart

What it meant to me will eventually be a memory of a time when

I tried so hard, and got so far

But in the end, It doesn't even matter

I had to fall, to lose it all, but in the end

It doesn't even matter..."

I looked up more, the sky darkening from a deep pruple, to navy hues and merging with the dark black sky. The stars were out, fascinating me as always. So many of them, each having their own story. Most nights had clear skies this, once the pollution having come to an almost complete halt.

"What are you doing up there?" i jumped, my gaze shooting to the ground level, meeting Isabel's worried expression.

"Nothing," i said, moving to push of the rough roofing i had been sitting on. A wind picked up, bother of us shivering. We both had tank tops and jeans on. "What's going on?"

"We should go on a supply run," i stepped off the ledge, landing in a slight crouch.

"What else?" she looked tired, she always looked tired. Like she'd given up on the world, but couldn't find it in her to end her life. I suppose it wasn't giving up as much as losing faith bit by bit.

"One thing, I don't know why, it doesn't even matter how hard you try

Keep that in mind, I designed this rhyme, to remind myself how

I tried so hard, iIn spite of the way you were mocking me

Acting like I was part of your property, remembering all the times you fought with me

I'm surprised it got so (far), things aren't the way they were before

You wouldn't even recognize me anymore, not that you knew me back then

But it all comes back to me, in the end..."

The world had made us this way, leaving each of us with the same look in our eyes. Pained, broken, longing, none of them all that positive though. We all felt guilty about one thing or another. After all, we blamed ourselves for the death of the people we loved. Guilty, always wondering if their was someting we could've done to prevent all of this. Different scenarios playing out in our minds that would've saved someone. All of these 'what if's day in and day out, but it was pointless now. You can't undo the past, and it was just something i needed to learn to live with.

"I've put my trust in you, pushed as far as I can go

For all this, there's only one thing you should know

I've put my trust in you, pushed as far as I can go

For all this, there's only one thing you should know..."

I couldn't help but remember my brothers and sister, they'd only been children when they'd been ripped from me, always finding them just moments too late. I wasn't the greatest person in the world. There was a long list of things i should've done but didn't, even before the rip opened up. The worst part was the lack of guilt or regret for the things i'd done in a previous life, not at all like this one. If i do feel guilt weigh down on me, it'd be for taking the life i'd had for granted. For hurting my family with my actions repeatedly, i should've been good to them, not destroying peace of mind. But now? Now, i couldn't even say sorry, let alone tell them goodbye and how much i loved them. It was just too little too late.

"There's a sickness inside you that wants to escape,

It's a feeling you get when you can't find your way,

So how many times must you fall to your knees,

Never do this again..."

"-gas, batteries and the van keeps stalling," i glanced at her, wondering if she'd realized i'd zoned out.

"Let's do it in the morning," i hadn't wanted to crash tonight, or any other night. Especially if we had nothing to gas up one of the generators. So we had no source of light either, that just made me flat out paranoid. If the wind was strong enough, and it usually was, i'd wake over and over again, that lack of light kept me more on guard. I'd zero in on everyone and seeing as they all had as many continuous nightmares and fears as i did, they'd struggle to sleep, every time someone moved anywhere close to my room, i'd wake up. But everyone was giving me worried looks, so i just went up to my room anyways.

I stared at my brother and baby sister, surrounding me, my hands were tied and I was on my knees. They all stared at me with utter contempt in their eyes. Kade stepped in front of me, "we all have to pay for our sins someday sister, just like you will." Suddenly Kale appeared in front of me, skin scorched from head to toe, he kept asking me "why? Why did you do this to me? You were supposed to love us!" I tried to tell him I was sorry, that it wasn't supposed to happen like that, that I hadn't meant to fail him. He shook his head, he lit a match, hate and rage filling his icy cold blue eyes. Eyes that used to hold nothing but unconditional love. I tried to ask him what he was doing. He didn't hear me, looking right through me as he stepped towards me and I took a step back, unable to run. He dropped it and fire exploded around me.

The fire was everywhere, eating at my skin, I fell to the ground, screaming name after name, pleading with someone, anyone, to help me, to save me. I kept screaming sorry over and over again. The fire faded, leaving me in a pitch black room, the ground covering in a sick grey mist and fog. Bodies littered the ground, my family, my friends, my life laid out on the floor dead, empty eyes staring back at me. "I've lost everything," I said, the words repeating over and over again as I clutched the knife in my hand. I looked down, I was soaked in blood, along with the knife I was clutching. It was all my fault. I did this. It killed them. "I've lost everything."

"I tried so hard, and got so far

But in the end, it doesn't even matter

I had to fall, to lose it all

But in the end, it doesn't even matter..."