I watch through my other-self's eyes. That is all I ever seem to do. He never talks to me anymore. He asked me several months ago not to talk to him unless he asks me to. I admit that it is quite frustrating trying to be silent for him. However, I saw how much he was torn apart when his mother became ill again and he no longer seemed able to handle my input. However, certain times, such as now, I feel I need to talk to him.

I call to him, "Shuuichi" He yells at me, sounding quite irate,

"I don't need you to talk to me right now! Leave me alone!" I growl, irritated by his unjustified intolerance of me as of late,

"Little Kit, you are not paying attention to your surroundings. Six teenage boys are following you. There might be more. Their stance looked like they were scanning for prey and you have become their target!" I had to inform him of this because I refuse to let any aspect of me be sullied by these slimy ningens who enjoy taking down someone they see as inferior and doing so in such a cowardly way. He continues to walk but slows down some so he can analyze the situation more carefully. He replies to me quietly,

"Thank you." The words seem somewhat forced but at least he is taking the situation seriously. I sigh. He says to the boys,

"I know you are following me. There is no use in hiding anymore since I know you are there." His voice only hints at strength and confidence, revealing none of the anxiety I can feel from him. Three of them show themselves. I notice at least one behind the dumpster, possibly two. I smell cheap cologne ahead of us— there is the sixth one. But are there more?

One of the boys says, "You're so pretty we thought you were a girl." Shuuichi HATES it when humans mistake him for a female! He will never admit how much it irks him but he cannot hide it from me.

Another boy, this one with darker hair and darker eyes but same height, around 5'8, says, "We'll have fun with you anyways. I bet you love a big cock in your ass, don't yah you fag!" Another thing that irks both Shuuichi and myself is the insistence of humans to label same sex relations as depraved. Now I am itching to get a crack at these whelps.

Shuuichi smiles a calm, cold smile and says in a very detached tone, "I'm afraid you've chosen the wrong person as your prey. Besides, I doubt any of you have enough down there to fulfill me anyway." I have to smirk at that one. Usually he avoids such vulgar remarks but it will rile them up and they will not think when they are fighting.

A voice from ahead of us says, "Boys, he's mine!" The teenager isn't as ugly as the first three. He has jet black hair and piercing brown eyes. However, his face is too gaunt and angular, as if it has been broken and repaired so many times that metal replaced where cartilage and bone should be. He takes out a switchblade. Ohhhh, I'm scared! Seriously? This is truly a waste of time. I think Hiei could show them a real knife. The boy charges. Shuuichi dodges but keeps his hands behind his back. The stabbing motions the boy makes are loose and sloppy. Shuuichi passes up several openings before grabbing the boy's wrist and breaking his hand. He punches him in the stomach to knock the wind out of him. He could have incapacitated him easily! Why is he hesitating? He seems to feel sad when fighting them. True, they are pitiful, but they came after him with cowardice and malice.

Shuuichi says, "If you do not leave now, I cannot promise you will be able to leave later." His voice is calm but I can feel his anxiety. He feels pity for them! I feel slightly sick at such a notion. They deserve to have their asses kicked- not to have someone hold back extensively because that someone could kill them without much effort! None of the boys leave. He is too reluctant to engage these idiotic weaklings! The first three pull out switchblades as well. Shuuichi sighs and waits for them to attack. He dodges the first and third boy and breaks the arm of the second boy. The second boy crumbles to the ground. The first and third boy attack Shuuichi again. A fourth boy tries to attack from behind. Shuuichi barely dodges in time. I growl. He should just end this! Shuuichi dodges more attacks and breaks the limbs of two boys at once. The fifth boy comes out and he is bigger than any of the other boys. Shuuichi has two shallow knife wounds on his arm and seems tired. He has lost some of his training it seems. The fourth and fifth boy attack at once. Shuuichi dodges both of them and waits for them to attack again. The fifth boy attacks. Shuuichi focuses on him and tries not to inflict too much damage. He grabs the boy's wrist and breaks it. The fourth boy is behind him. I don't think Shuuichi realizes this as he deals with the fifth boy and trying to force him to stay down.

I tell Shuuichi, "The fourth boy is behind you." Shuuichi jerks to the side and barely misses being stabbed in the gut. Instead, his shirt is torn. He waits and the boy attacks again. Shuuichi twists the boy's arm and breaks his arm and wrist in a strong twist. Shuuichi lets go and leaves. He doesn't say a word and just runs. He seems slightly shaken. Why does he run? Why is he upset?

I ask Shuuichi, "Why do you seem upset?"

Shuuichi responds angrily, "I thought I asked you to pretend not to exist."

I growl at him, "Shuuichi, I have been completely silent for five months and yet you still have not grown any better. I at least deserve to know what the hell is going on!"

Shuuichi says, "I just wanted to be normal. I just wanted to be like everyone else! And yet, I never can. You won't leave! They would think I'm nuts if I told them about you. I can't confide in anyone! Hiei would never understand being human and Yusuke and Kuwabara could not comprehend this either! If I were normal, Enma would not be mad at me for sneaking into his vault and my mother would not have been poisoned in an attempt to get to me!" He blames me for all of it! He doesn't say it but it is glaringly obvious from his little rant. Does he not see that I have tried to help him and be what I can for him?!

I growl quietly, "Shuuichi, don't blame me for the bad and take the good as things you did on your own. We both know it is not our fault for Shiori being ill again." I control my anger and irritation enough not to negatively enhance the situation.

Shuuichi sighs and says, "I just want to talk to someone and be able to have friends just like everyone else. I have been struggling to deal with everything and I feel like I'm caving in!" I feel some sympathy for him but wish he would talk to me about it. He never wants to talk to me anymore. I feel his pain radiating from his part of our soul and I want to help him but he simply refuses help.

I tell him, "You can always talk to me. Even if you just want me to listen, I'm here for you little kit." He never is willing to talk to me about anything anymore. When he was younger, he would ask me stupid questions and talk almost too much to me. I can't say I didn't enjoy it but sometimes it annoyed the hell out of me. Now, I wish he would be a fraction as open as he was when he was younger.

Shuuichi asks me, "How do I know you aren't just going to jerk me around for your own entertainment?" I growl inside of his head. I can't explain how much that statement enrages me! I have done NOTHING of that sort!

I ask him, "When the hell have I ever taken anything you've said to me when you needed to vent and turned it against you?! When have I taunted you with any information besides your sugar highs and liking Hiei?! Hell, even I admitted I liked Hiei!"

Shuuichi responds, "You were a cold, callous, crafty, cruel thief who hurt those close to him because he wouldn't admit how much they meant to him! Why should I expect any different?" It suddenly hits me that he understands nothing of why I did those things and how I have changed. I can't help but feel disappointed and disheartened. I feel no need to push this any further. I truly wish he could understand. It would make the future so much easier. I know our soul is in turmoil and without such a basic understanding, we have even more to break us apart.

I tell him solemnly, "Should you ever want to talk to me, call for me." I do not talk any further. He has done enough damage. I retreat from his senses, so I can't see what is going on. I need time to adjust to this blow, swallow my pain, and figure out what could help him.

Shuuichi asks me crossly, "Youko, why did you never tell Kuronue you loved him? Every single time he told you he loved you, you would want to say it back but you never did. Why?"

I tell him despondently, "When you calm down and want the real answer, I'll give it to you. Now, however, you are too belligerent to calmly listen to me." Kuronue was very important to me. I hated and regretted never telling him that I loved him. It was a cheap shot and Shuuichi knew it. The wounds Kuronue's death left on my soul are still very painful and fresh. I curl up into a dark corner of his mind. I let myself slip into unconsciousness so I don't have to think about how irritating Shuuichi is right now. Maybe the pain won't come to me in the morning, but I doubt it. It's always in the morning where I feel our soul tear itself apart.