Here is a short, and somewhat ridiculous, story about Orihime making Renji breakfast. This was originally supposed to be a RenjixOrihime oneshot. But after reading it back to myself, I saw that there was nothing remotely romantic about it. It seemed to make more sense putting it under Humor instead. So here you go.

Peanut Butter Toast

Renji wasn't sure what he was thinking when he accepted Orihime's offer for breakfast. No, scratch that he knew exactly what he was thinking: He was hungry.Of course, Renji had been warned once (or was it twice?) that the meals Orihime made were a little on the bizarre side. But Renji had really wanted something to eat. He hadn't had breakfast that morning at the Urahara Shop that morning, because (according to that annoying as hell, spikey red-headed kid and everyone else at the shop) he apparently didn't "deserve it". It didn't help that he had missed dinner the night before.

The lieutenant hadn't been on his way to anywhere in particular, he was just exploring, when he ran into the perky orange-haired girl on her way from the grocery store. She had somehow noticed he was hungry and invited him back to her house for breakfast. For a moment, Renji's stomach overtook his better judgment and the next thing the tattooed man knew, he was at her house. Renji didn't remember the warnings he had been given about Orihime's inability to cook a normal meal until he saw her emptying the groceries from the bag: bean paste, raisin bread, peanut butter, rice, chicken, mayonnaise, sour-kraut, and an assortment of other random things. Renji felt his stomach churning. By then, it was too late decline breakfast; they were already here and she was getting the ingredients ready. It would be rude to just suddenly refuse; and yet Renji feared for his poor stomach.

"It's a good thing you came by for breakfast today, Renji. I'm whipping up something extra special!" Orihime said.

"...Lucky me." Renji mumbled, trying to keep as much sarcasm out of his voice as possible.

I haven't cooked for anybody in some time. Your the first person to come by in a while to eat with me. I usually offer to cook for Ishida and the others once in a while. They never seem to want anything though..."

"Can't...imagine why..."

What was she going to make with all that stuff anyway? Just what possessed her to think that rice, peanut butter, and raisin bread went well together? Should he even ask? Well, yeah, maybe it would be better to ask. Perhaps if he told Orihime that he was allergic to certain things it would push her in the direction of making something normal...

"Here you go, Renji." Orihime's voice interrupted Renji's thoughts.

"Huh?"

Renji looked down at the little plate that had been set in front of him. To his surprise, it didn't look like anything really strange. It was just two pieces of toast with peanut butter on them. She also gave him a cup of milk.

Renji stared. "This is it?" he asked.

The lieutenant hoped hadn't sounded rude when he said it, because he wasn't trying to be. He was quite relieved that it was nothing that would make him sick; Renji had never had toast with peanut butter before, but he was sure it wouldn't taste weird. However, the soul reaper had been expecting more than this. It was going to take more than two pieces of toast and some milk to hold him until lunch.

Orihime smiled brightly at his question and replied:

"Oh, of course not silly! This is just supposed to tide you over until I'm done with the actual breakfast."

Renji stared at the girl curiously as he nibbled on a bit of the peanut butter toast (which was quite tasty)."The actual breakfast?"

"Uh-huh! It's a special something I made up myself! I like to call it Two Flavors with Rice."

Renji decided not to question her on how she came up with names for things, but instead asked:

"What's it made with?"

"Hmmm. Well, you know how General Tao's Chicken has white rice with chicken and broccoli?"

"Umm, yeah?"

"Well, it's sort of like that, accept it's got bean paste and sour kraut. Doesn't that sound good?"

"..."

"Renji, are you all right? You look a little blue...Renji?"

No comment.

Were pancakes and eggs to much to ask for?

Fin

Okay. Really though. Toast with peanut butter is actually pretty good. And I admit it: This idea came to me after eating peanut butter with toast.