Eleven
axel/roxas
Endings Matter Most
disclaimer: I own nothing. If I did there would be mad crazy sex scenes between Axel and Roxas.
A/N: I was in need for some inspiration for my full-length AkuRoku story, so I searched for a short challenge I could do to get my creative juices flowing. Some of them are longer than others. These drabbles are connected, and also in chronological order. Credit for the challenge goes to Wishing-Fire. Even if I didn't really follow the rules very well… Still, credit to Wishing-Fire for coming up with the themes.
The challenge: Use the following eleven themes for one pairing. (There was a word limitation… but I got into it and ended up ignoring that rule.)
© square enix
i. Curiosity
Axel nibbled on his thumbnail while he watched a young blond boy stretch on his toes to reach a book on the top shelf in the library. It was obvious he was too headstrong to take a small leap to be able to grab the book, and he huffed in annoyance.
The redhead stood up and walked over, reaching above the younger one to snatch the book off the shelf. The headstrong blond turned around to glare at Axel. "I had it," he snapped.
Axel snorted. "Yeah, right." He flipped open the book and looked at the contents. "Psychology, huh? Do you study it in school?"
The unnamed boy blinked in irritation. "I'm taking a class, yes." He replied.
"Where do you go to school?" Axel asked, trying to pretend like he didn't care by nonchalantly flipping through the pages of the psychology book, but damn this kid was cute.
The blond pursed his lips. "Twilight High. I'm a senior. Why?"
It was Axel's turn to blink, his head coming up to connect their eyes. Because this damn cute kid was about six years younger than him. How very illegal and stalker-like of him.
"Just curious, kid." Axel smirked when the blond made a face at the nickname. He snapped the book closed, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose. "Let's get you checked out."
/
ii. Friendship
Roxas set two cups of coffee down on the counter above where Axel was at work on his computer. Axel glanced up from his seat and looked at the blond through the top of his glasses. With a light smirk, he returned to his work, his fingers rapidly pecking the keyboard. "You know you can't have those in here," he said, not looking back up at the younger one.
The boy let out a disbelieving breath. "Shut up and take your coffee."
Axel chuckled and reached up to take the cup, taking a sip of the refreshing caffeinated beverage. "Much appreciated," he thanked his friend.
Roxas rolled his eyes and stalked away with his cup, muttering something that sounded extremely close to, "Fucking librarians."
/
iii. Pity
There was a knock on the door to Axel's small apartment. He sighed and looked at the clock. Who would come knocking at eleven thirty at night? If it was his pizza delivery man coming back to complain about not getting a tip, Axel was prepared to kindly slam the door in his face. The pizza was an hour late for Christ's sake.
He threw down his book on the coffee table and hoisted himself up to answer the door. However, he was thoroughly surprised when the face staring up at him was Roxas'.
"Roxas—"
"You said I could come if I needed a place to crash." He interrupted quietly.
"Yeah, I – no, it's fine, I was just surprised." He let Roxas in and closed the door behind him. He turned to face the blond. "What happened?" And that's when he noticed the bruise beginning to develop on the Roxas' lower jaw. "What the hell?" And Axel jumped into action, rushing to the kitchen to get him something to put on it.
"I got into a fight with Seifer at a party." Roxas said.
"Why?" Axel asked as Roxas walked into the kitchen behind him.
"He called me a faggot."
Axel paused a moment and then turned back to Roxas, but something on his face made the blond scowl. "Don't pity me, you asshole." He hissed.
The redhead blinked. He abandoned the ice on his kitchen counter and walked over to the younger one and took that damn cute face in his hands gently pressed his lips to Roxas'. "I don't. I understand."
Roxas' eyes widened. Axel thought he was going to run for it – his best friend just kissed him and six years is a big age difference after all.
But he didn't. Instead, he stretched upwards and returned the kiss.
/
iv. Lust
Axel slammed Roxas against the wall of the library, their mouths colliding messily. Their tongues tangled together and Roxas took Axel's lower lip in between his teeth while Axel fumbled with the belt the blond was wearing.
They were in the back of the library, where all the old and unused books were stored. No one had come back to this section in months, and none of the books had been searched for or checked out in years. And when Roxas had walked into the library, aroused and looking for the redhead, Axel had no power to resist, though Axel never had the power to resist Roxas.
It was so, so wrong, which is what made it so right. But if they were caught, there was no telling what kind of trouble Axel would get in – with his boss and with the law. But the boy that was in between him and the wall made it all worth it.
"Fuck," Roxas moaned into the older one's mouth as Axel's hand dipped into Roxas' pants.
Roxas grabbed onto Axel's upper arms to keep himself upright, and his head fell on top of the redhead's shoulders. Axel began to devour the other's neck, eliciting more stifled whimpers from the younger one. The eldest smirked against the ear of his lover and playfully nipped at the earlobe as he brought Roxas closer to his end. The blond sank his teeth into Axel's shoulder punishingly.
When Axel finished Roxas, the blond was motionless for a moment, panting heavily. Axel began to pull away to return to work, but Roxas gripped his shoulders and spun him around to be pinned against the wall, an evil smirk playing across his lips. Without a word, Roxas smoothly worked the buckle on Axel's belt, brought the clothing down, and kneeled before the redhead to take him into the younger's mouth.
It was all Axel could do to keep quiet.
/
v. Happiness
Roxas was officially eighteen, and all that remained was to graduate from high school, when he no longer needed to seek the approval of parents for being with someone older – more specifically an older man.
He met Axel outside the library after the elder's shift was over. The redhead smiled when he saw Roxas waiting. "Damn I want to kiss you right now." He told Roxas quietly as he walked up to the blond.
Roxas smiled lightly. "That'll have to wait. Are you ready?"
They made their way to Axel's car. When they were both inside, Axel laid his hands on the steering wheel and stared straight ahead. "I love you."
Roxas turned to him, and lifted his eyebrows. "You do?"
"Yep," Axel nodded. He paused and then reached into the compartment between the seats and pulled out a box with a bow on top. "Happy birthday, Roxas."
Roxas pursed his lips to keep a smile from appearing and carefully removed the top of the box. And he couldn't help it when the smile betrayed him because he was just too happy about the present that Axel had given him.
"I love you too!" Roxas choked out through his laugh of joy and surprise. He didn't stop himself from throwing his arms around the redhead and pressing a small kiss to his cheek.
And the present was just a little house key.
/
vi. Despair
Roxas sat in front of the bottle of pills. He hadn't mustered up the courage to uncap the container quite yet. Tears gathered in the corners of his eyes and he furiously blinked them away. The bottle just sat untouched – mocking him.
He felt like there was something horribly wrong inside of him. Seifer and his gang had really laid it on him today. Roxas didn't remember how many times the word faggot was thrown at him. They had taken advantage that his friends were off without him because he opted to go home early instead of the movies that day. No one was there to protect him or to stand up for him.
Which isn't to say Roxas can't fight his own battles, because he can. But today Seifer really killed his morale.
The bottle was practically laughing at him.
The blond didn't go home after Seifer was finished. He wouldn't be able to face his family like this – especially his parents, who had absolutely no idea that their son was indeed the "faggot" Seifer was teasing him to be. So he went to the only place where he knew he was safe from hate, and his parents, and his brother's all too blatant sympathy.
Axel's.
More tears threatened to spill from his eyes. He was so weak. He had to sit here and cry instead of doing something about it. He couldn't even put himself out of his misery.
He would know exactly what Seifer would say to this. Of course that fag killed himself with pills. He couldn't even be a man in death.
Roxas removed the cap.
It would be so easy. Axel would be back to his apartment soon, and his face could be the last thing Roxas would see. He could die happy.
Roxas heard the footsteps behind him that abruptly halted when Axel saw him.
"Roxas?"
The teenager's hand darted out and snatched the bottle, emptying a handful of pills. But the redhead was faster and before Roxas had so much as lifted any of the pills to his mouth, Axel was by his side grabbing his wrist.
"Roxas!"
Hot tears flew down Roxas' cheeks and he turned angrily up to look at Axel's face. "Don't!" he exclaimed, trying to wrench his wrist out of the redhead's grasp. "Don't stop me!"
Axel wrestled with him and Roxas stood to gain leverage, but his legs were shaking so badly that they fell out from under him. The pills flew out of his hand as he tried and failed to gain his balance. He sank to the floor and Axel went with him. Roxas hit him on the chest, trying to push him away, but Axel grasped his shoulders and accepted the beatings. "Don't!" he yelled. "Let me go, you asshole! It's my choice! I can choose this and get rid of the fucking faggot that I am!" He tried to get away, but Axel forced him to stay and drew Roxas into his chest, ignoring Roxas' struggle.
Choked sobs escaped his throat as he submitted and let Axel gather him in his arms. His fingers dug into the fabric of Axel's shirt and he pressed his forehead to the older one's chest. "Please," he begged. "Please don't stop me."
Axel hugged the blond to him desperately. "Roxas," he whispered in the smallest's ear.
Roxas lifted his face to Axel's and firmly planted his lips on Axel's. His tears were released and spilled between their cheeks. The younger one broke away and rested his head against Axel's shoulder while Axel scattered kisses along his neck and shoulders repeating his name in between whispered words of comfort. Roxas wrapped his arms around the redhead's lean frame and cried openly into Axel's shoulders.
/
vii. Rage
Roxas stared at Axel from the couch. The redhead looked down at him, worried. He still hadn't said anything.
"Roxas?" he asked. When the blond didn't answer or act like he'd heard him at all, Axel took a step and sat down on his coffee table and placed his hands on Roxas' knees. "Rox?"
Slowly, Roxas connected their eyes. "You're leaving?"
Axel bit the inside of his cheek. "Not… far." He tried.
"Why?"
"Because it's my chance to get a good education. Two years at a shitty community college wasn't good enough. I need a degree so I can actually do what I want." Axel answered, trying to pull the sympathy card.
Roxas wasn't buying it. "But you're going to Iowa. What the hell is in Iowa?"
Axel sighed. "The University of Iowa. I was accepted into their writing program."
The younger one frowned. "I thought music was your passion."
"And you know writing is also my passion." Axel countered and leaned back.
"We live in New York." Roxas said bluntly.
"Yeah we do." Axel nodded. This wasn't going to a good place.
"Iowa is like… 20 hours away."
"Yeah it is."
Roxas stood and brushed past Axel. "I haven't even graduated yet."
Axel frowned slightly. "Are you asking me to stay?"
The blond turned, a fire beginning to set in his eyes. "Are you asking me to go with you?"
"No—"
"Neither am I."
They stared at each other. Roxas was getting angrier, which was making Axel angry.
"Why don't you want me to go?" he asked, standing and pacing away from Roxas.
"Why do you have to go there?" Roxas threw back at him.
Axel turned. "It's my dream school, Roxas. I finally have this chance. Why are you so adamant about me not taking it?"
"Why can't you go somewhere like… NYU? What's wrong with that school?" Roxas' voice was building.
"It's not where I want to go!"
"Did you apply? Were you accepted?"
"Yes I applied, and yes I was accepted!"
"So why aren't you going there?"
"It's not where I want to go, Roxas," Axel repeated vehemently.
"So you're going to move 20 hours away?" Roxas asked, but didn't stop for an answer. "You're moving 20 hours away from New York, Axel. And you just sprang this on me now. You didn't even tell me you were applying. You didn't tell me anything about this except that you were leaving."
"I know it's far, but I'll visit," Axel replied. "I still have family here. There will always be holidays and you can even come and visit me!"
Roxas stared at the redhead in disbelief. "You still have family here? That's your reason for visiting?" The older one knew he'd said the wrong thing.
Axel reached out to the other. "Roxas," he said, but it sounded more like a plea.
"No." Roxas held up a hand to stop him from coming closer. "You haven't considered what you're moving 20 hours away from. You're moving 20 hours away from me." He paused, looking indignantly at the redhead. "You haven't considered how I would feel about this – how I would feel about you moving away from me. What happened to, 'I love you, Roxas'?"
"I do love you," Axel exclaimed.
"Fuck you!" Roxas shot at him. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his keys. None to carefully, he yanked the one that Axel gave him off the chain and threw it at the older one. "And fuck Iowa," he added as he retreated to the door.
"Roxas!" Axel pursued him, shouting his name.
"I hope you're very happy there!" was the last thing Roxas said before he slammed the door behind him and left.
/
viii. Lost
Axel was packing slowly. Very slowly. He should be more excited about Iowa. It isn't fair that Roxas, that little shit, made him feel guilty about pursuing his dream. Writing was his passion, something he'd wanted to do for as long as he can remember. The stupid little blond had no right to make him feel like this. Axel would kick back a beer and think about how happy he was Roxas wasn't in his life anymore.
Roxas absorbed himself in homework. People asked him what was wrong, as he was more anti-social than usual, but the answer was always the same. He's fine. He told himself he was fine, that who needed that idiot redhead anyway? He certainly didn't. All Axel ever did was make his life hard and annoy him to the ends of the Earth. Good riddance.
Axel had barely been sleeping. His bed felt out of balance and his apartment was creakier than he'd noticed before. He'd jump at the slightest noise in the dark as he lay in bed, staring up at the ceiling. He never liked being alone at night. His thoughts were always on Roxas, of course. He couldn't deny that he wasn't ready for their break-up, but it had been Roxas' fault. The damn midget was so selfish.
Roxas was crying himself to sleep on almost a daily basis. No one could hear him – the tears would roll silently down his cheeks and he would just lay there until no more came and all he had left to do was sleep. Nighttime was the only moment of the day where he would admit he was, indeed, not fine. But he would wake up in the morning and tell himself it was a new day and he was fine. Then that night, his thoughts would be on Axel. He tried to remind himself that it was all Axel's fault. Selfish bastard.
Axel missed Roxas. He couldn't sleep. He gorged himself on comfort food. He barely had started packing for Iowa and he left in five days. How could he leave New York? How could he leave his family? How could he leave Roxas? Not on these terms. Without Roxas, he was lost.
Roxas missed Axel. He admitted it. He misses the guy 24/7. All he does is homework. School, homework, eat, sleep. Crying is always somewhere in there, usually paired with sleep. He was beginning to worry about what he was going to do with his life now that Axel wasn't in it. It had been so clear before. Without Axel, he was lost.
Axel went to Iowa.
Roxas stayed in New York.
/
ix. Laughter
Today was Axel's birthday. It was his first excuse to fly back to New York. He was practically jumping up and down on the plane. His family didn't know he was coming back. They expected the next time they saw him to be when they celebrated July 4th.
But he flew back and was planning on "running into" Roxas with the excuse of his birthday and being in town for family. He waits for Roxas at the same spot they always met up. It was a direct route to his house from school, so Axel knew he would come.
Axel waited an hour past the time Roxas would normally have shown up. He kept checking the time on his watch. Eventually he pulled how his cell, thinking maybe the time on his watch was wrong.
It was Saturday.
"Fuck me," Axel groaned.
Then, all that mattered was finding Roxas. Literally, Axel sprinted to his house and knocked loudly at the door, praying for luck to be kind to him and have Roxas answer the door. He didn't. His mother did.
"Can I help you?" she asked good-naturedly.
"Roxas," he panted. "He lives here. Can I talk to him?"
Her eyebrows creased. "Who are you?" It was accusing or angry. It was a simple inquiry. A check to make sure he wasn't a psycho before she let this man into her house.
"I'm Axel," he answered, his breathe catching up with him. "I'm in town for a few days. I'm his friend."
She nodded. "I'll go get him, if you'll just wait right here." With a smile she disappeared back into the house. He wasn't sure if she didn't trust his story of if she was entrusting the stranger to lead Roxas through the house. It didn't matter.
Roxas appeared in the doorway quickly, almost as if he too ran when his mother told him who was there. "Axel?" he asked in disbelief.
"I waited," Axel admitted. "On the path where you walk home from school. I waited there for, like, two hours before I realized it was Saturday. I just had to see you."
The blond paused at this and then began to laugh. It wasn't the reaction Axel was expecting, but he went with it. "You're such an idiot," Roxas told him.
All was forgiven. Axel laughed too.
/
x. Confused
"I'm confused," Roxas said. They were sitting in Axel's empty apartment at the table in the kitchen. "You're moving back to New York, now?"
Axel sighed. "I just want to be with you. You graduate in a week."
"We've been good so far, though. We've survived two months of you in Iowa," Roxas replied. "Why are you dropping out? Finish the semester."
"The program doesn't end for almost three months," Axel said, his fingers playing with a groove in the table. "I want to move back here and be with you. I'll reapply to NYU and go there."
"But Axel…" Roxas paused, trying to find the right words. "I want you to finish your program. You love writing!"
"I do," he nodded. "But the program at NYU is just as good. And I can be with you." He saw the look on Roxas' face. "I'm not giving it all up just to be with you. I've missed New York and my family. I just want to be home." He looked around the room. "I've lived here for years. It's weird not to now."
Roxas frowned. "I want you to go back. I don't want you to have wasted that money."
Axel shook his head. "Roxas, I'm not going back. I've got plenty of money. I'm a librarian."
"You make nothing," Roxas retorted.
"True, but my family is rich so I don't really have to do too much." Axel smiled at him. "If you must know, I've already withdrawn and all my stuff is here… downstairs, but here."
"Are you serious?" Roxas couldn't help the light smile that crossed his features.
"Also," Axel pulled a box out of his pocket.
"Axel, if you ask me to marry you, I will say no," Roxas warned, practically bolting out of the seat. He was too young for marriage. Axel knew that. He was going to kill him.
"Get your panties out of a punch, goldilocks," Axel replied. He handed Roxas the box. It was his key. "I was just hoping that it could go back on your keychain permanently."
Roxas might have been a bit surprised by the gift, but now he was just relieved it wasn't a ring. "Goldilocks?" he questioned as he removed the key from the box and pulled out his set and put it back into place.
"You're blond," Axel said, stating the obvious. "I was also wondering if you, by chance, wanted to make that your home key."
Roxas tried to stifle his smile, but it came anyway. He leaned forward and pressed his lips to Axel's, who sighed in relief. "How horrible would it be if I said no after that?" Roxas asked, his eyes twinkling too much to be taken seriously.
"Confusing and horrible," Axel answered and drew him back in.
/
xi. Exhaustion
Axel stretched lazily on the couch. The television flashed different commercials and products at him, but he wasn't paying attention. It was too late into the night for there to be anything quality on cable, but he couldn't sleep and a boring infomercial always sent him right off.
Roxas walked sleepily into the room, rubbing his eye and squinting at Axel with the other. "What the fuck are you doing?" he asked bluntly.
"Can't sleep," Axel replied shortly.
The younger one walked slowly over to the redhead and flopped down on the couch, settling under his arm. "Count sheep," Roxas retorted.
Axel smiled and ran a hand through Roxas' hair and started whispering numbers into the boy's ear.
-End