after the tragic death of Derek every survived on thir own .
Meredith had left Seattle for a year , Owen Hunt and April Kepner had signed up for a tour in Iraq , those few that stayed there went on with their life quiet taking the memory of an old friend close to their heart , there was those who went on to inertia moved by a strange force as the autumn leaves carried by the wind.
Now she went on like this , her life was just the job , worked , slept, ate in the hospital .
Surgery surgery surgery that now had become her routine .
She was empty , an empty shell ... it is funny,months before she felt alive as ever , surrounded by love and affection, she felt loved and supported , and protected for the first time in a long time she had shared with another person besides her brother pieces of his painful past.
and what she got in return from life? Nothing absolutely nothing ... her brother was dead and the person with whom she had shared fears had left, both were gone, as far as an echo in the wind.
Amelia felt that her life was dry ...
The worst part was that sense of emptiness and loneliness that were the same when she approached the world of drugs. She wanted to do everything at the time to feel alive ... and now reluctantly found herself exactly in that place when she was years before. She thought back to the feeling of excitement initial euphoria that only when you are high you can get, remembered the feeling of total pleasure and peace when the noise of thoughts were asleep by fog.
By more than one thousand three hundred days but never like that night he needed his dose ..
"Who will miss me? Derek died, was the only one who looked at me shoulders, the only one who was with me in my worst moments."
She thought back to his mother and sisters, they were good, they were strong, and then thay lived in New York together they could manage her disappearance.
and then there was Owen, Owen Um ... at the beginning everything seemed perfect, rosy, he understood and supported her like no other before, he understood the pain and what suffering is ... than a thought hit her like a stab in the heart "but then he understood, he realized that they are a risk, a case lost departing .. he's gone."
Her blank stare, the vitreous eyes , there wasn't joy there wasn't passion there was only pain and emptiness. Perhaps there was one person who was interested in his future...Richard, she needed to talk with him.
She knew that she couldn't tell him that she was going around with a bag of oxy in her pocket, she had bought it after the death of Derek, but she never used it.
So that day in order to feel of loneliness sh decided to invite Webber for a cup of coffee.
Sitting in a secluded table in the corner of the cafeteria Amelia was fighting against herself to say to the man sitting in front of her what she was going through.
He knew, he knew what means to carry around the baggage of addictions, he was an alcoholic she was a junkie they both knew the risks.
"it 's being so long since we talk about" The man was evidently worried for the young woman sitting in front of him
"I know.. Everything was fine for a while, you know. I estranged myself from the world, just focus on the job ... but now I've come to a critical point .." she looked up at the man "I think I'm going to fall again ..."You know... The meetings help me ... as long as I'm surrounded by people, there's all right, but when I'm alone my mind just goes to .." she lowered her eyes in shame.
"Don't be ashamed of this, it's human nature ..you don't know how many times I fell in temptation." he really tried to help her but apparently she didn't want to be helped.
"I know, but that's the point...I have no one here, no more...yeah I have friends but they're not my people,Derek was one.." she wispered " and Owen.."
Richard looked surprised but understood her pain "What are you trying to say Amelia?"
"I decided to leave Seattle, I return to LA, I have people there... people who saw me and helped when I use drugs.. I think that is better for me; I don't want to run away from Seattle but I want to continue to stay clean, you know ? "She was really convinced.
"I understand you and if that's your option to stay clean then you should go." Richard smiled softly, "When are you going to leave?" He asked
"Wednesday," she said
"But ... it's in two days."
"I know, just enough time to pack up my stuff, you know .." she looked at him and he knew that she really needed a new beginning.
Derek's house was empty and quiet the only noise came from Amelia, her soft breathing was the only thing that made that home "alive" ...
Kneeling in front of the suitcase and the chest of drawers she was choosing what to bring with her, she took all the clothes from the drawers and put them gently inside the suitcase, she turned to the table and took the only thing that had really value for her. A photo where she hugged a smiling Derek, They had taken it a year before when she had moved to Seattle. They were both so happy and smiling ... she lacked him as oxygen like the sun in the morning, nothing made sense without him.
Amelia took the frame and put it inside the bag, when she took everything, she left the room, locked the door as if someone might violate the privacy, she descended down the stairs and stood in the middle of the living room ... She looked back and relived the echo acres of laughter, memories of a close family but then came back to reality, to the voight and desolate house.
A streamed down her face, she walked to the door turned off the lights when she closed the door she left behind her a life. Amelia walked to the car, put the bags in the boot, and before starting the engine she turned one last time not to the house but toward the woods .. she looked beyond the pine forest in the direction of the trailer the had given her so much joy and love, she closed the car door and turned the keys without looking back..that was her new beginning.
it was a Friday morning in Seattle a hot summer day, Amelia had left two month ago. Richard missed that little tiny woman she was pretty tough, she was pure strengh, an hurricane ..that's before Derek died.
He understood what she was going through she had almost slipped in tunnel..he undertood that she needed a new beginning..he knew all that she was passing.
For Major Hunt and April Kepner that was the first day back after the mission in Iraq, They hadn't yet get over the jet lag but they decided to go to the hospital before going home.
They walked through those corridors so familiar, it was like as if they weren't left for months but only a few days. April went directly to search Jackson and Hunt paused to nurses desk to talk with Richard.
"Hunt...you're back..glad to see you" a joyous smile appeared in Richard's face. "it is good to see you!"
"it is good to be home" Owen was tired but smiled politely
"Everything is fine here? "He was worried as if he were still the chief.
"It goes on more or less"
Hunt had realized that something was wrong...he saw that man's eyes "What do you mean with all good... Amelia? How's she?"
His biggest concern was,is and will always be her, even when he was in Iraq..she was the thought that sent him on, but he had left his heart had not stopped beating for her, had never really left Seattle he'd never let her go.
There were difficult moments, the sai..ma faced everything head-you know," Richard Owen knew it was hiding something.
"Now it's better?" Hunt was really worried.
"We believe that if si..insomma doing well"
"Ah..good. I Just wanted to talk to her,you know where I can find her?"
Webber looked directly to the man "Don't you know?"
"Know what?" Hunt was concerned
"Amelia left." those words were a stab to Owen's heart . "left..left?" He had an empty feeling in the pit of the stomach and nausea, "Do you know if when she'll returns?" in his voice there was hope,maybe she would come back, but he knew the truth "
"She won't come back, Owen. She left for good. Now she lives in Los Angeles."
A stab to the heart as if they had a thousand knives pierced him
"How .." His eyes were a slit.
"She was in a really bad situation . Meredith was gone, Derek died you .." Webber looked at him " She needed a new beginning, she needed people ... someone who stayed next to her .. I try but .. "
Hunt looked at the man try to understand.
"You know how it works ... we're addicted, we run away, comparison scares us..but most important thing we're afraid to be alone. When we find a person to share everything and that dies or leaves us the world becomes too scary. We run away "
"Left.. I left her, I thought it was the best thing, ..I.." 'Hunt was in pieces
"You could n't know, we are a loose cannon, we are shut up like a clam, we close ourselves in our armor and we don't let anyone come in."Webber spoke for experience
"I could do something, I had to" his voice
"There's always time..You can fix this" Webber put his hand on Hunt's shoulder and before leaving he turned towards Owen "1260 wigthon beach."
Owen looked up "What?"
"1260 wigthon beach. You'll find her there"
The night was warm and comfortable, the ocean breeze caressed Amelia's cheeks ee ruffled her hair delicately.
She had shopping bags in the hands and the house keys in her mouth she was still the same messy Amelia, that hadn't changed.
She crossed the taril that skirted the ocean and reached home .. it was a dark night and she couldn't see anything, she loved those dark nights that give her a sense of peace. Amelia looked at the front door when she noticed a motionless figure in front of her doorsteps she didn't know if run or scream but she couldn't she had the shopping bags in her hands and keys in her mouth so she decided to stand still motionless when she began to look for the phone in the bag
But suddenly something or rather someone caught her attention, she knew that figure, she knew, the arms even the posture... everything.
his heart leapt ... Owen! Why was Owen in front of her house in the middle of the night and in LA?
She was petrified
"Please," he began, "Don't say anything ... I know it's crazy .. take aplaine to Los Angeles and ...Let me esplain. I got home after the tour.. you weren't there and I realized that nowhere is home without you. " He looked at her with love.
her heart quickened the pace, breath became wheezy.. she was standing still there motionless with the keys in her mouth and the bags in her hands "Oh I look ridiculous" blushed
"You are adorable .." he smiled and her cheeks were stained with red.
"Richard told me what you went through when you i was in Iraq..after Derek..eh then I realized the mistake that I made when I left. I thought you were all right that you were managing everything, but I forgot that even strong people falls..I thought " she was still but she looked at him directly.
" I thought of you for all these month..every day, you was the thoughts that keep me going on, you made me survive when I thought I was a lost "
She looked at him with only love, he stops still.
"I'm here to tell you that I'm not going to run away again, I won't leave you .." Owen bowed his head slightly and she remembered how much she loved that gesture.
"Soo I'm here to tell you that i'm not gonna let go, I don't want to loose a sight for a moment ... I'll be there for you ... when you're afraid I'll be your soldier, if you feel like you're drowning I'll be your life vest, if you fall into the voight I'll be your parachute. " when he stopped talking he looked at her with a look that made her heart melted.
She realized only then how much she missed him and how much she needed him, she dropped the bags and keys from her mouth and ran to him.
She hugged Owen and in that moment she felt safe, secure and no more alone every single piece of her life had found a place.
The Silence reigned,there was no need for words their heartbeats and their breathing spoke for them. In that midsummer night she felt alive again