Gym requirements. Most of them aren't terrible. Like kickball, soccer, football and basketball. I can play all of those decently well, especially basketball. I'm the best at basketball and everyone in my gym class knows it. Whenever the coach has us play basketball, I'm always the first picked. Always. That being said, I suck at baseball. I'm terrible at it. That might have to do with the fact that I absolutely hate the sport and find it incredibly boring but yeah. I suck at it. Unfortunately, we are required by the state to do a different team sport each month, which the exception of the one week of sexual education, for gym class. And guess what sport we're doing this month? You got it: baseball. Fucking baseball.
"Dude, I hate this."
Stan gave me a sympathetic smile, "I know."
He can't really relate, he loves baseball. Probably because he's good at it, he's good at every sport, it seems like.
"Alright," the coach barked, "line up!"
I groaned internally and dragged my feet over to Stan who had practically raced to the line. The only bright side to this stupid game is that I know I'll be on Stan's team. It doesn't matter if the team captains are Craig and Clyde or Tweek and Token, they always put me and Stan on the same when we play baseball. They know I'll play better. Because if Stan's on my team, he encourages me to pretend to care. Without him, I don't give a shit.
"Okay, team captains are Tucker and Cartman." Coach yelled while sitting back in his signature lawn chair. Wow, it must have be so hard to get this job.
"He's like a glorified babysitter." I mutter.
Kenny, who was in line on the other side of me, chuckled.
"Ey! Kenny! You're on my team." Cartman called from in front of the line.
Kenny sauntered up next to Cartman and looked at the line, "Welp. I'm on the losing team." Everyone thought that was pretty funny except Cartman who started ranting off about how great he is at sports. Which is utter crap.
"Dude, if he keeps that up people will start thinking he's 'funny'" a Stan whispered to me while elbowing me in the side.
"He probably is! He's the biggest closet case I've ever met." I said, thinking back to all the times he used to dress in drag as a kid. Not to mention that time he wanted me to suck his balls. Which didn't happen, no matter what anyone else says.
Stan snickered next to me and I cracked a grin. I was about to further ridicule Cartman when suddenly Craig shouted, "Broflovski, you're on my team"
As I went to walk towards Craig, Stan smacks my backside lightly and says,"Good luck out there." I turn back to look at him and he's sporting a cheeky smile, while everyone around him looked slightly uncomfortable. Even though Stan and I came out as couple two years ago, in sophomore year, not all the guys we hang out with are totally comfortable with us acting all...well gay. They're trying though and I guess that's what matters. Last week Clyde asked us how often we fuck and when Stan told him about five times a week, he declared it to be "nice." So I guess that's something. But when we actually share any physical affection or words of endearment in front of them, that's when they start getting uncomfortable. Stan thinks this means that should do these things more often and not that I mind, I just don't think that is the way to go about it. But then again, I don't know how to go about it.
So I stood next to Token and Tweek, who Craig had already picked to be on his team. I'm pretty sure Craig and Tweek are an item. They eat lunch together everyday off by themselves in the library and they pretty much never leave each other's sides. But whenever I ask Tweek about it, he just screams, "No, man! That's gay!" and gets this really nervous look in his eyes. So that would be really suspicious if it were anyone but Tweek. He always acts like that.
"Stan!" Cartman suddenly shouted.
"What, fatass?"
Cartman growled, " You're on my team."
Stan quickly look from him to me and then back to him, "Uh, no I'm not."
"Yes you are! I chose you so you have to be on my team."
"Just do what he says, Marsh." The coach said while opening what seems to be the latest Sports Illustrated.
Fuck. I hate not being on Stan's team. Looks like I'm going to get a shitty grade in here today. Stan looked at me with sad eyes and mouthed 'I'm sorry.' I waved him off. I don't need him to do everything with me. It's just nice when it works out that way.
Craig and Cartman continued going back and forth until the last person, Butters, was finally picked. Our team got stuck with him and it's not that he sucks at sports, it's that he's always asking people if they're okay and it takes time away from the game. And also he sucks at sports. The teams are pretty evenly split; Cartman has Stan, Token, Jason and Wendy, who are all incredibly good at sports. I'm pretty sure Wendy gave Kenny a black eye from the last time we played dodgeball. She acted sorry about it but you could tell that she was secretly proud of it. And on our team, Craig had chosen Clyde, Kevin Stoley, Bebe and Red as our good players. They rest of us, including me, were just kind of there.
"Because I have Butters, we're up to bat first." Craig stated.
Cartman gave a shocked look and sputtered, "What? That's not fair! We have fucking Wendy! You don't see me claiming bat first."
Stan groaned,"You chose Wendy, Fatass. And she's really good at baseball! Let them have bat first."
I saw Wendy lean in and whisper a 'thank you' to Stan. A wave of jealousy wash over me. I know she's not competition. I know that. I just can't stop picturing them making out at the lunch table in ninth grade any time I see them too close together. I know, it's stupid, but I can't help it. I think I'll always be jealous of her. I mean, she had him first. In more ways than one.
I was jolted back to reality when Butters grabbed me by the arm," Come on, we're up first! Thanks to me sucking and all." He flashed a naive smile.
"Yeah, thanks Butters." I muttered as I was to the line behind Craig who was swinging his bat in preparation.
We were playing baseball inside the gym, because the field was covered in snow, like always. So instead of using an actual baseball, we were using a whiffle ball. Token started throwing his arm around, trying to loosen up so he could pitch. He looked like he was trying to scratch his back.
I made a face and leaned towards Tweek, who was standing in line behind me, "Dude, he looks like he's about to snap his arm off.
"Oh, Jesus!"
The coach let out a growl, "Alright, remember: you can throw the ball at someone to get them out but if you hit them in the head, they're still in. Alright, play ball!"
Token threw his arm back back and then sent the ball flying. Craig hit it with ease and it went sailing over to Jason on third base. He tried to catch it but it just slipped from his grip. Craig took off towards Wendy on first base.
"Go for second!" Red shouted.
Craig stopped on first and looked back at her, "Are you crazy? They had Cartman waiting for me on second. I'd be out!"
"No, you wouldn't have. Now you're just going to be in my way." Red snapped as she picked up the bat.
Red and Craig have never really gotten along. Not since the time he said that 'she smelled like a whore' and she responded back, 'at least I'm not a closeted, faggot!' Yeah, so they don't really like each other.
"Craig's not in her way. Craig's fast, he'll make it to the next base." Tweek muttered.
Okay, so my suspicions are their relationship are growing. "Yeah, he'll make it." I reassured him. Which, I don't know why I did that. I don't care about this game and I definitely don't care about Craig. He's a dick to Stan. But Tweek's okay.
"Fucking play, Red!" Cartman yelled.
"Alright! Pitch!"
Token threw the ball at a slight angle and gave it a curve. Red barely tapped it but the coach yelled, "It's in play!" and she took off. Craig rounded to second and made it there safely and Red made it to first.
Stan groaned, "Come on guys, lets get them out!"
Craig flipped him off in response. Dick.
Clyde got up to bat and gripped his hands around the handle. He made this face like he was gritting his teeth. His lips were all twisted up like he was trying to look intimidating. I looked over to Stan to make sure he was seeing this.
He was standing in the outfield and I caught his eye.
"Are you seeing this?" I mouthed.
He nodded vigorously, "I know!" He mouthed back.
Token, looking at Clyde straight on, rolled his eyes and threw him the ball underhanded. He hit it with the bat and it made a loud SMACK. It flew up and then down and then fell right into Stan's hands.
"Out!" Coach yelled.
"This is bullshit!" Clyde snapped and threw down the bat.
"Shut the fuck up, Clyde." Stan laughed and threw Token back the ball.
"It's okay, baby." Bebe said as Clyde passed her.
"Hey, Kyle?" Butters nudged me. He was about to bat, and he was shaking the bat between his hands. "Can you bat before me?"
"Uh," I rubbed the back of my neck. I fucking hate baseball, but he looks so pathetic. "Yeah, okay. I'll go next." He smiled and handed me the bat and I stepped up to the plate.
"Whoo! Kyle!" Stan cheered from the outfield.
"Yeah, whoo." I muttered and got in position to hit the ball.
Token threw his arm back and released the ball. Not gonna lie, I closed my eyes. But I felt the ball make contact with the bat so I started to run until the coach yelled, "Foul!" Of course I got a fucking foul. I did the walk of shame back to the plate.
"I'm telling you, Jews can't play sports!" Cartman shouted.
"Fuck you, Lardass!" I screamed back. I gripped the bat. I wasn't going to close my eyes this time. "Pitch!" I barked and Token sent the whiffle ball flying. I bunted it and it flew into the infield. I sprinted towards first base while Craig and Red went racing for their next bases. I felt the whiffle ball fly past me and it almost hit me but it was off by a few inches. I slide onto the first base before Wendy could tag me.
"He's safe." Wendy called.
"Yay, Kyle!"
"Shut the fuck up, Stan! You're on my team!" Cartman shouted and glared at Kyle from second base.
Wendy put her face in her hands, "He's such a jackass."
"I know." I said.
Wendy breathed deeply and put her hand on my shoulder. This is weird. She's supposed to be guarding first base, not acting like she's about to give a lecture.
"Kyle, I need to talk to you."
I pulled her hand off of me. "Okay?"
She shook her head, "Not now."
Okay, she is acting really weird. Wendy and I don't talk. And it's not just because she used to date Stan, we're always put against each other. We're always in competition with each other. Currently we're in the race to be the valedictorian. We're tied right now but I think I have a pretty good shot at beating her.
So this, this right here was weird.
"Wendy, what's going on?"
"I just, I need to talk to you. But later. At my house."
I looked at her incredulously, "Your house?"
I side glanced at Butters who was getting ready to bat. I got in a position to run.
"Yes, at my house. Can you come by around five?" She got in a defensive pose, ready to catch the ball if it were to come her way.
"Tonight?" I asked. I was gonna play video games with Stan tonight but if Wendy's thing really is important, I guess I could try to do that.
"Yes." She said as Butters finally struck out.
"Okay."
Tweek got up to bat and when Token threw the ball at him, Tweek screamed and swung the bat. It went all the way to the back of the gym.
"Run, Tweek! Run!" Craig screamed as he took off towards home. Red was right on his tail, getting ready to round third. I started off towards second when I saw Stan get the whiffle ball in the outfield out of the corner of my eye.
"Cartman!" Stan yelled as he threw the ball towards him. Cartman caught it with ease and I knew I was screwed. I couldn't go to second because Cartman would tag me out and I couldn't go back to first because Tweek had already made it there. Just as I was about to stop running, Cartman got this devious smile on his face and threw the ball as hard as he could right at me.
"Ah!" I screamed and grabbed my crotch and my knees hit the floor. I can't think. I can't think. All I can think about is how much this hurts.
"Fuck!" I cried out.
I suddenly felt hands start to rub my back and shush me. "It's okay, baby." Stan soothed. I couldn't really focus my vision on much but I could tell that some of the guys cringed at that.
I felt tears start to leak out of my eyes as Stan started to blow up on Cartman.
"Cartman, what the fuck?" He yelled.
Cartman feigned innocence, "What Stan? We're on the same team! You should be happy that I got him out."
"Yeah, well you didn't have to nail him in the balls!"
Cartman smirked. "Of course his balls are the only thing you care about."
Even though my vision was still kind of jacked up from the pain, I'm pretty sure Stan's jaw dropped.
"Fuck you." Stan spat.
"Alright, alright," the coach finally interrupted, "Marsh, take him to the nurse."
Stan scowled and picked me up by the shoulders. I hate that he's strong enough to do that. Being on my feet instead of the floor was somehow more humiliating. Maybe it had to do with the fact that I was still holding my crotch. Everyone stared at us as Stan lead me out the gym.
"It's going to be okay, Ky." Stan whispered, glaring back at Cartman.