Nerd: Man, I wish I lived in Ponyville, then I could meet the Mane 6 in person.
That would be so cool. (yawn) so cool...

(The Nerd is dreaming he is in Ponyville.)

Nerd: Wow, I'm in Ponyville. Yay- wait a minute. (The nerd sees that he's a pony) Oh my god, I'm a pony.
I'm one of them.

(Twilight Sparkle shows up)

Twilight: Hello, stranger. What's your name?

Nerd: My name... (Whispering to himself) Remember, these ponies are named after stuff, not humans.
(Normal talk) My name is... Master Bater.

Twilight: Oh, well welcome aboard, Master Bater, I am Twilight Sparkle.
Let me show you to my friends.

(The Nerd meets the rest of the Mane 6)

Twilight: Master Bater, these are my friends.

Nerd: Yes, of course, (Talking to Rainbow Dash) you're the pony with a manly personality whenever you fight and face danger.
(Talking to Pinkie Pie) And you must be the pony who goes bad-shit crazy all the time.
(At Rarity) You're the one who uses your charms to get laid.
(At Applejack) You must have a condition that prevents you from lying.
(At Fluttershy) You must be pussing out at everything and everyone.
(At Twilight) And you're the one who's nothing but a comolete smartass all the time.

Rainbow Dash: Uh, Twi. Where did this pony come from 'cos it sounds like to me he comes from a place where he thinks
it's OK to make judgments. And I'm not that manly.

(Later, the nerd is speaking with Rarity)

Nerd: Oh, Rarity, I've always admired you (not because I fantasize about you fucking me) for your sweet talk attitude.
Say, you look a little tense, can I walk you home and give you a massage.

Rarity: Oh, I've never seen anypony use my sweet talk against me before, but judging by your delectable behavior and your weird looks,
My back sure could need a rub.

Nerd: (whispering) that's not the only place that could be rubbed on.

(Later)

Spike: Rarity, it's me, Spike, your crush. I just wanted to see if- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!

(Spike catches Rarity and the Nerd in bed)

Rarity: Spike! It's not what you think.

Nerd: Yeah, I just boned your crush, asshole. I should know. I've watched the entire show so far.

Spike: Why, Rarity? Why?

Rarity: To be honest, this pony can pleasure me 10 times than you could.

Spike: Hey, we said we never spoke of that night.

Nerd: And she also was rubbing down on me. And that's why they call me Master Bater.

(Later)

Rarity: Master Bater, I'm pregnant.

Nerd: Uh Oh!

(9 months later)

Doctor: Congratulations, it's triplets.

Nerd: Oh, no. I didn't expect life as a pony to turn out like this. I'm sorry, Rarity, but this is for the best.
(The nerd pulls out a gun and shoots himself.)

Rarity: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

(The nerd wakes up from his dream)

Nerd: Alright, maybe I should just stick to jerking off watching ponies from now on.