I find him handsome, quite manly. Of course, I haven't met many men so I don't know how to describe him. In comparison to Daryl and Glenn, he is by far the most handsome. Daryl is too rough around the edges, and Glenn can't see past Maggie sometimes it makes me want to puke. I wish he would look at me like that, I wish he would see me as someone other than a young girl with a crush.

If I could, one night, I would sit by his side and watch him sleep. I would touch his hand and reassure him when nightmares would come. I would love to lay beside him, laying my head against his shoulder or bare chest and feel his chest rise with his breathing. I would love to lose myself in looking at him, day-dream about the things we could do to one another if I was old enough.

Face it Beth, you're never going to be old enough.

Closing her journal, she drops the pen and flops back onto the pillows, groaning loudly. The door opens as she looks over, seeing Andrea's blonde hair come floating in. "Am I being too quiet or too alone that I need someone to check on me?"

"Actually yes," Andrea retaliates. "You can be such a smart ass sometimes."

"Happens when you live in this house with Maggie and our brother long enough," she groans. "Don't worry, I am fine. I was just writing in my journal, getting something off my chest before it gets me in trouble."

"Like what?" Andrea asks, sitting on the edge of the bed. "I like trouble."

She stares at her then sits up. "There's someone I really want to be with … in that way, and it's not Jimmy."

"Who? Rick?" Andrea laughs then stops. "Seriously, are you talking about Rick?"

Beth nods silently and blushes. "I think he is the most handsome man I've ever seen. I can't stop thinking about him. He's in my thoughts, my dreams, my … every thing."

Andrea slides up on the bed beside and lays there. "I don't know if Rick is the right person for you to want to lose your … self … to. He and Lori are going through some major issues right now …"
"I know they are, and I want to be the one who comforts him from all that," Beth admits.

Andrea is quiet for a long moment. "Maybe you don't start that way, maybe you start with just talking to him. Be the person HE can talk to."

"Okay, how?"

"I don't really know. You're smart enough to figure it out."

"Okay, I'll think about it."

Later in the day, Beth walks out to where Rick is working on the fence. "Hey, looks good. I brought you something."

"Like?" he asks, wiping sweat from his brow.

"I came to check on you since you're doing Jimmy's work."

"Yea well, Hershel said Jimmy's not too good at this stuff."

"He's really not." She scuffs the ground with her foot. "Come sit under the shade tree with me. You're getting overheated."

He drops the shovel and follows her under the tree. They sit as she pulls a bag from behind her back. "I made it for you and had to find something to bring it in." She hands it to him. "Go ahead, all for you."

"Why?"

"Why not."

Opening the bag, he pulls a sandwich out along with a cold can of beer. "Where did the beer come from?"

"Don't let daddy know you have that, he'll have my head. Jimmy's got a cooler of them hid out in the woods. He and I sneak out and drink sometimes."

"I see, so what's with this?"

"I wanted someone to talk to other than everyone around here." She leans forward and dusts off her sneakers. "Rick, if I tell you something will you keep it to yourself. It's sort of highly important and I don't want daddy to hear about it."

"Are we in some sort of danger?"

"No, not really … I know what walkers are, you know the dead that's rising, and I've seen what they can do. Daddy thinks they're just sick, but I know differently. There's more around here than even daddy knows … he's never on guard anymore, but he needs to be."

"I know what you mean."

"Will you help keep an eye on this place … if I help."

"How can you help?"

"There's parts of this farm he won't let you or your people go. I can go there, look around and see if I see anything. I could be your look out of sorts. It'll keep you and your people safe too, and us, and daddy won't be able to blame you for sneaking around if he constantly sees all of you."

Unwrapping the sandwich, he takes a bite and cracks open the beer. "Has Jimmy ever tried anything with you?"

"Yea, and I kneed him in the nuts."

"Good girl. If you promise to help look out in the places we can't go, I'll teach you how to take care of yourself. I doubt your dad would mind that."

"I dated Jimmy twice and hated every minute of it. He was over here with my brother Shawn when everything happened. I've been trying to ignore him, but he makes it hard. Daddy keeps telling me to give him a chance, and every time I do he thinks it's a chance to hop in my pants."

"Want me to crack him upside the head for you?"

"I wish you'd get rid of him actually."

"I won't kill him."

"I didn't mean that … I meant, I wish you and Shane would drive him out there and drop him off some place where he couldn't come back."

"We could do that if we need to. If he gets worse, tell me and I'll talk to Shane about it." He holds the sandwich out to her. "Bite?"

"I don't eat meat."

"Vegetarian or vegan?"

"Vegetarian."

"How are you about dairy?"

"Hate the stuff personally and I live on a working farm."

He chuckles and leans back against the tree beside her. "Sucks don't it."

"Amen." She leans back, letting her arm rest against his. "How's the sandwich?"

"Great, just enough mayo the way I like it."

"Thought it might be more filling than whatever you were eating out there."

He takes a drink of the beer and stares out over at their camp. "Anything's better than there at the moment."

"Yea, I sort of heard you and your wife yelling early this morning. Her voice carries."

"Yea it does, sorry about waking you up."

"No problem." She lets her hand drift close to his. "Hey, if you ever need someone to talk to whistle for me. I'm a really good listener. I won't judge since I have no clue."

"Sounds nice."

"And all you have to do is whistle." She looks down as his hand takes hold of hers and grips it. She returns the grip and lets her head drift slowly to his shoulder. "Feeling better."

"Yea, I am. Thank you for the sandwich and beer." He looks around. "Where does Jimmy hide the cooler in case I need another."

"Some place that will be noticeable if you go after it."

"Wonderful. So, now what?"

"How about one whistle to talk, two whistles for a beer. Does that work."

"That I can do. And if I need some water?"

Reaching into her pocket, she pulls out a bottle of cold water and hands it to him. "Got it straight out of the freezer for you."

"Bless you." He looks around for a moment and hands her the can. "Get you a sip if you want."

"Why officer, you are contributing to the delinquency of a minor."

"And you're flirting with me." He looks over at her as she blushes bright red. He reaches his hand up and rubs her cheek then places a gentle kiss on it. "Don't worry, I'll whistle when I need someone to talk to. Just be careful when you're out looking around for us. I'll ask your dad if he will let me teach you how to defend yourself, sort of emphasizing Jimmy's not such pure intentions."

"If he doesn't blow Jimmy away with a shotgun, you have yourself a deal." She takes the can and takes a drink. "At least he has good taste in beer."

"Ain't that the truth," Rick says, taking the can from her and finishing it off. "Beth, thank you for this and for giving me someone to talk to. Don't try so hard, you're beautiful just the way you are."

"Who says I'm trying anything?" she asks. "This is how I normally dress."

He leans back and looks at her … ripped jean shorts, tank top and sneakers. She looked just like a country girl. "Well, I apologize for thinking otherwise."

"Hey, at least you noticed … that's a step in the right direction if you ask me."

She gets up and dusts her shorts off as he throws the trash into the bag and crumples it. "Thanks for the sandwich again." He stands, dusting himself off and looks at her. "I'll keep my eye on Jimmy too since you brought it up."

"I appreciate that." She runs her hand over his arm. "Don't work too hard out here, humidity's out the roof. Rest some more, and you're getting sunburned."

"Once I finish these two, I am done for the day."

"If you need to, come inside and take a cool shower when you finish. Daddy won't mind since you're helping out around here."

"I might just do that. Thanks Beth."

"You're welcome Rick." She waves as she turns and heads back for the house.

He watches her as she walks back, then sees Jimmy coming over to her. Jimmy raises his hands to her, trying to grab her arm as she yanks free. Unholstering his gun, Rick fires a warning shot over Jimmy's head, knocking his hat off. Jimmy turns abruptly to stare at him as Beth grins and heads for the house as Hershel appears. He watches Beth speak to Hershel then Hershel raises his hand to wave at him. Rick returns the wave and holsters the gun as he watches Jimmy head for the far pasture. Shaking his head, he picks up the shovel and goes back to work. "That boy is gonna be more trouble than I want right now," Rick mutters to himself.

Hours turn to days to weeks … then the barn happens.

She stands with Hershel and everyone, looking on in abject horror as the group shoots the walkers down. Then, the last walker emerges … the little girl. She watches the emotions play across Rick's face as he walks away from everyone, pulls his gun and fires. The little girl falls to the ground, dead like the rest now. She looks at everyone, the emotions on their faces then over to Lori and Carl on the ground, staring at Rick like he was a monster. She sees her mother in the pile, along with her brother but she doesn't care. Pulling away from Patricia, she walks forward as her spine turns to steel. She walks slowly then moves past Andrea and Shane. Inhaling, she steps up behind Rick and slides her hand into his still gripping the gun. She pulls the gun from his hand and holsters it for him.

She leans against his back. "Walk away. Come on … let it go and walk away." He turns and looks at her then to her outstretched hand. He takes hold of her hand and the two walk away together, hand in hand. They pass Andrea, they pass Hershel and continue walking away. They go up onto the porch as she opens the door, letting him in ahead of her. She closes it and pulls him into the kitchen with her. She goes to the sink and soaks a rag under the faucet in cold water before going back to him. She runs the cold rag over his neck and face, looking at the emotionless expression in his eyes. She unbuttons his shirt and wipes his chest down, feeling the heat leaving his body. She takes the rag to the sink and rinses it out a second time, going back to him. She slides his shirt off and wipes his back down before handing it back to him. She takes the rag to the sink and returns, pulling his shirt around his chest. She starts buttoning it as the screen door clacks open. She looks around him to see Patricia walking in with Hershel.

Patricia sees them and walks into the kitchen, leaning on the door frame. "How is he?"

"Fine," Rick mutters softly.

"No son, you're not fine," Hershel says. "Beth, get him upstairs so he can lay down. He's in shock."
"I'm fine," Rick states more firmly. He turns to look at Hershel.

"I know you had nothing to do with that. Please, go upstairs, cool down and rest. I'll deal with the others," Hershel replies.

"I need to talk to Lori."

"Your wife is in the arms of your best friend, I don't think you want to see that," Hershel admits. "She took comfort in him instead of coming after you."

"Just do like daddy said and deal with them later … please," Beth urges him softly. "Come on, you need to rest."

He looks at her then hangs his head in defeat. As they move from the kitchen, Maggie and Glenn come inside. They walk over and stand there with them. "Take a hand everyone," Hershel says. They take hold of each other. "Father, we commend the lives of those from the barn into your care. We ask you finally give them the peace and rest they so deserve. We would ask Your guidance in our hearts and lives now as we move forward. Amen."

Rick nods silently as he follows Beth upstairs. Opening a door, she lets him in ahead of her before walking in and closing it. "Bathroom is in here," Beth says, opening the door. "Take your shoes off and lay down. I'll draw the curtains, block out some of the light for you."

"You don't have to," he says, hoarsely. He looks over at her. "Why?"

"Just cause I can," she replies.

"No seriously, why?" he asks again.

"Fine," she says exasperatedly. "You. All because of you."

"Why?"

Inhaling, she walks over and places her hands on his cheeks then proceeds to kiss him. She feels his arms go around her, holding onto her gently as they continue to kiss. She runs her hands through his hair as his ghost over her back gently. Their lips part as she looks at him. "I'm in love with you, silly, I have been for a long time now." He stares at her before pressing his lips back to hers, this time the kiss is harder and bruising, hungry. He holds her to him, pressing her small lithe body to his muscled frame. Her arms snake around his neck as he pushes her onto the bed, lying atop her. His hand grazes down her side, her hip, snagging the back of her knee and pulling it around his waist. She gasps into his mouth, feeling his manhood rubbing against her. Their mouths part as they situate themselves side by side on the bed. He runs his hand down her side as he looks at her; he brings his hand up to move a strand of hair from her face as he yawns. She runs her hand down his side as she watches his eyes slowly drift shut. After a few moments, he is sound asleep; she leans over and places a kiss on his forehead before snuggling close to his body. She lays her head between his neck and chest and closes her own eyes, drifting off to sleep.

She wakes up later, noticing a quilt covering her body. As she tries to sit, she notices his arm wrapped protectively around her. She smiles and lifts up to look down at his sleeping face. She places a kiss on his nose before laying back down and falling to sleep.

The next time she wakes up, the sky is dark outside. She sits up, noticing he's gone; pulling her knees up to her chest, she sits there for a long moment lost in thought. The door to the bathroom opens as he steps out. He leans on the doorframe and stares at her. "When did you wake up?"

"Just now," she smiles as he walks over, bare chest with a towel over his shoulder. "How was your shower?"

"Wonderful, I was trying not to wake you."

"You didn't. How long have you been up?"
"Not long. What were you so lost in thought about just now?"

"What happened earlier. If I ever get that way, promise me you will end it before I hurt someone I love."

"I promise." He sits on the bed and looks around. "Is this your room?"

"Yep."

"Won't your dad be mad at us for sharing?"

"He shouldn't be, he's the one who covered us up."

"When?"
"Earlier. Are you about done in there?"

"I am, go on in."

She smiles and gets out of bed, heading into the bathroom and shutting the door. She changes into her nightie then changes into her pajamas instead. Pulling the drawer open, she pulls out a pair of men's silk pajama bottoms. Shaking her head, she changes back into the nightie and opens the door. She steps out and smiles at him as she pulls the shades down. She walks over and closes the door just so then turns. "Here," she says, holding them out to him. "These will be more comfortable than your jeans to sleep in." He takes them from her and looks them over. "I bought them by accident before all this started."

He grins and steps back into the bathroom; changing, he opens the door to find her piled underneath the covers. He shuts the light off and lifts the covers, sliding in beside her. "They fit like they were made for me."

"I'm glad," she smiles. She leans over and grazes a kiss over his lips. "G'night."

"G'night," he smiles and kisses her nose.

Some time during the night, he wakes up and looks at her. Her eyes are open as she lifts up to stare at him. Reaching his hand up, he runs it over her cheek as he pulls her down. Their lips meet briefly before engulfing each other into a kiss. He slides his arms around her, pulling her atop him. Their lips part as she sits up, sliding the nightie off her shoulders to pool at her waist. She slides it over her head then pulls his hand up to massage her breast. He smiles as he rubs her breast, flicking the nipple with his thumb. Arranging herself atop him, he realizes she has no panties on as her warmth is positioned over his growing erection. He groans softly as he lifts his hips to slide the silk pants off. Reaching down, she guides his member to the entrance of her wetness as she slowly slides down atop him. He gasps as she envelopes him fully, gently rocking her hips back and forth atop him. He takes hold of her neck and pulls her down to kiss, holding onto her as she speeds up just so. His hand gently grips her hips as he rises to meet her. She gasps into their kiss and smiles as she feels him rolling her over. As her head hits the pillows, she wraps her legs around his waist, pulling him deeper in. His thrusts are slow as he savors the feel of her. Their tongues dance in each other's mouths as he massages her breasts with his hands. Pulling his mouth free, he leans over and takes her nipple into his mouth, gently swirling his tongue over it before beginning to suckle it. She lets out a soft hot moan. Their pace is slow, soft and delicious as they continue reveling in the feel of the other. Hands tangle in hair as their lips reunite. She holds him to her with her legs, feeling his muscles moving in time with hers. She feels the growing knot in her stomach expand as she clings to him, letting out soft moans into his mouth urging him on. He grins and keeps the steady pace, taking her just to the point but never pushing her over. His own ache grows as he sits up, pulling her with him. His hands run over her back as they continue the soft slow lovemaking. He feels her body tense up before thrusting long and hard upwards. She moans into his shoulder as her body convulses in pleasure, gripping him tighter and holding on for all she's worth. His own orgasm rocks his body in a few moments, convulsing as he spills his seed into her warm wetness. They lift their faces to look at one another, their bodies covered in sweat and hair out of sorts. He lowers her back to the mattress, neither saying a word as they look at each other.

She caresses his cheek as he kisses her on the lips. "Hi lover," she purrs softly.

"Hi lover," he grins back.

She pulls his face back down to hers as they kiss a second time. He stretches out atop her, running his hands over her sides as they continue kissing. He lifts his mouth from hers and looks down. "We should have been more careful. We didn't use any sort of protection, and I doubt your father will be thrilled about me deflowering his youngest daughter."

"He can get over it."

"And the other? How long can we keep that under wraps?"

"Yea about that," she pauses, gnawing her lip. "I can't have kids."

"Why, you're old enough," he comments. "Talk to me. You got me to talk, so now it's your turn. What's wrong Beth?"

"I got kicked by a horse, and it damaged my feminine parts when I was 13 and I had to have them all removed."

"So all this time I've been wanting us to be this way, worrying about you getting pregnant and what your father would think, and all along you've been keeping this in," he muses softly. "Well, we can't just be doing it for the fun of it now."

"Wait, you're not mad or angry."
"Hush love," he smiles. Leaning over the edge of the bed, he pulls her discarded nightie up and redresses himself. "It's going to be hard to keep my hands off you, and it will be even harder not to kill Jimmy now."

"Jimmy is all yours to deal with." She pulls the nightie back over her head and snuggles into his arms. "You're not kidding there. That was amazing."
"For your first time?"

"How did you know?"

"I can tell these things. We'll have to do something different next time."

"Okay," she giggles and snuggles into his arms. "What about?"
"Let me deal with her."

"Okay. I trust you." She leans over and kisses him. "I love you."

"I love you. Night."
"Night."

They fall back asleep in one another's arms, unaware of the looming danger approaching the farm.