Disclaimer: I don't own the Titans. Wish I did! Lol. Note: I enjoy challenging myself with writing. I pick a song and try to fit a story around it. I had some fun using Ed Sheeran's "Lego House" with this one. Hope everyone enjoys it!
BALANCE
"You can't do this to me!" Raven could not remember a time she'd ever been this filled with rage. Her father was on a warpath. He had one target in mind—her—and she was being pulled from action. This was her fight, and she was being told to sit it out. "Robin, you can't do this! This is my fight!"
She stood facing her leader, someone she'd come to trust with her life, and for the first time since becoming a member of the Titans, she hated him. She could feel dark energy swirling beneath the surface, begging to be set free. It took everything in her to reign it back, to not lash out at him.
"You know this is the way it has to be," Robin said gently. "Trigon needs your blood for his ritual. We're not going to lead him right to you. Trust me, Raven. Please."
"I should have never told you about the ritual," she snarled. She'd trusted him to back her up, and instead he'd betrayed her. He was going to get everyone killed. They couldn't stop Trigon. Not without her help.
"I'm sorry, Raven."
At his placating tone, her ire rose. She felt her soul-self peeling away, looking to cause damage, to destroy. This was the type of thing she meditated to prevent, but her emotions were running too high. "Just leave!" She flung out a dark mass of energy and slammed the cabin door in his face.
As it reverberated on its hinges, she clawed her fingers in her hair and let out a scream. It sounded like a banshee wail as it bounced off of windows, coming back at her in angry waves. "He can be such a…such a…a dick!"
"It is his name, Rae."
She spun on the other person in the room, feeling the angry glow of her eyes. What a sight she must be. Black swirls of dark energy churning around her and red shining from her eyes. "This isn't a joke."
Most men would have recoiled at the sight of her, but Beast Boy stood his ground. He stared at her with his unnaturally green eyes and waited for her rage to fizzle out.
"I don't even know why you're here," she snarled at him. Next to him, a lamp shattered into a thousand pieces, raining glass along the carpet at his feet.
"Robin wanted me to keep you safe."
"I don't need you to keep me safe!"
He held up his hands in surrender. "Fine. Not safe. I'm just…backup. In case you need it." He frowned slightly. "If Trigon finds this place…" He trailed off, obviously not wanting to finish that sentence. If her father found this place, Beast Boy would be the only defense left, the world's last chance at survival. It was a grim thought.
She curved her arms around her waist as her rage dissipated, suddenly feeling very alone and very frightened. Trigon needed her blood to complete a ritual, one that would break a rift in the world as they knew it. He needed the blood of a daughter as sacrifice. She knew he would have offered her up had she been reigning by his side. Now…
She shook her head, the lack of anger leaving her feeling cold. "Why you?" she asked weakly. "Robin needs you out there. Why leave you behind as well? The team's already handicapped."
"Balance, Rae."
She blinked at him, uncertain she'd heard him right. "Balance?"
"Yeah. Balance." He turned his back on her, making his way to a table in the center of the living room. They were in some sort of safe house, one that had been used by someone else previously, as there was a scattering of Legos on the table and carpet.
Beast Boy bent to pick up a few of the colorful bricks. As she stood hugging herself in the doorway, he began popping the pieces together. He built the slow beginnings of a structure before sitting down on the carpet in front of the table and expanding on the project in his hands.
"Your darkness needs my…" He trailed off, lifting his gaze to hers for a moment and offering a small smile. "My wackiness." He shrugged a shoulder and went back to his Lego work of art. "Robin's no fool. He knows the only person who can tackle you in full rage mode is me." He smiled again. "You like me too much to get violent with me."
"Debatable," she said darkly. A frown tugged at her lips. Was she as obvious as that? She never laughed at his jokes. She never showed the slightest bit of interest in his antics. But somehow Robin had spotted the fondness for the changeling that she hid deep, deep down.
To hide her discomfort, she dropped her hands to her sides and pursed her lips as she gave his handiwork a pointed look. "What are you doing?" she asked irritably.
"Building you a Lego house."
She jolted in surprise. "Why?"
"You need it."
They were in a life and death situation here, and he thought the answer to her problems were little blocks of plastic? "I don't need your Lego house." Despite her denial, curiosity got the better of her and she watched as he built. Up and up his creation went, reaching up like the tower they called home.
"You do," he said with confidence. His long green fingers worked at the miniature bricks until the stack teetered. This seemed to be the signal that he was finished with his masterpiece. Standing, he took a step back and surveyed it. "For you, Rae."
"I don't want that."
He smirked. Leaning over, he snatched up the fire poker from where it leaned against the stone fireplace. "Wanna take a swing at it?" He waggled his dark eyebrows. "Mediation isn't the only way to let off a little steam."
She let out a bark of disbelieving laughter, unable to help herself. "You built that thing so I could smash it to pieces?" At his nod, she stepped forward and took the fire poker from him. "Thank you, Beast Boy. That was oddly…thoughtful."
So much of her life was out of her control. Everything was a struggle. But this little Lego house he'd built… Well, it was breakable. It was frail. It was something in her life she had control over.
With a holler of rage, she swung the fire poker at the colorful tower of children's block. The metal poker hit it with a resounding crack. Colorful bricks went flying in all directions, spraying the walls, the floor. She pulled back and took another swing at the remaining foundation, sending another wave of pieces scattering across the room. She put her entire self in that one moment of destruction, and it felt so good.
Lowering the poker to the floor, she stared at the mess around her. Her shoulders heaved with her breaths and her heart pounded in her chest. Even so, she felt her anger at Robin slipping away. She felt her fear easing, the tension in her shoulders lessening. He'd been right. She'd needed his Lego house.
I'm gonna pick up the pieces
And build a Lego house
When things go wrong we can knock it down.
"It'll be okay."
His soft words reached her ears and she let the fire poker drop from her fingers to the floor. She felt helpless tears welling, and she struggled to keep them back.
My three words have two meanings
There's one thing on my mind, it's all for you
"Robin will stop him, Rae. He will." He crossed the room to her side. After a moment's hesitation, he wrapped his arms around her shoulders in a comforting hug.
Raven clung to him. She allowed herself a moment of weakness she never would have succumbed to had they been at the Tower. She'd never allowed him to get this close. She never allowed anyone to get this close. It was too dangerous. For her. For them. But as the uncertainty of the outside world raged on, she sank into his warm, comforting embrace and just allowed herself a moment. Just one.
And it's dark in a cold December, but I've got ya to keep me warm
And if you're broken I'll mend ya
And keep you sheltered from the storm that's raging on now
The moment was over as soon as it began. Raven yanked away from him as if burnt, putting distance between the two of them. Her moment of weakness was over and if he told anyone about it, she would make him incredibly sorry. She tried to convey as much with her eyes, forcing as much fire into them as she could.
Instead of looking threatened, he offered her a lopsided grin. "How about we make some dinner? We could be here a while." With that, he turned and headed into the home's kitchen. It was attached to the living room in an open floor plan, so she could see him bustling about, making himself at home.
As he began preparing them dinner, she wrapped her arms around herself once more with a little shudder. She was so out of touch with reality, of how real people worked. His simple act of kindness hit her hard. Her own father didn't love her. After some of the things she'd done to survive her upbringing, she wasn't sure if she even loved herself. Yet this boy was with her. He was picking up the pieces of her crumbling life and holding them together. He was keeping her sane.
Robin had been right about that balance thing. No one else could have kept her from breaking apart in this moment but Beast Boy. His lightness kept a tight restraint on her inner darkness. He didn't treat her with "kid gloves" as the saying went. He didn't cower away from her anger. He didn't push either. He just lent her calmness with his genial nature.
I'm out of touch, I'm out of love
I'll pick you up when you're getting down
And out of all these things I've done I think I love you better now
"You okay with pasta?" Beast Boy called from the kitchen. At her gentle nod, he went back to working on their dinner. "I'm going to make us some salads too. I'm in the mood for green peppers."
Vegetarian. Of course, he was making a vegetarian dinner. On a normal day, that might have annoyed her, but now she just bobbed her head in agreement. She stayed where she was in the living room, watching him from a distance. She hoped if she kept a safe distance between them, it would give her a moment to cool her emotions, to get herself back under control. If she kept him away, she could stop these feelings racing through her.
I'm out of sight, I'm out of mind
I'll do it all for you in time
And out of all these things I've done I think I love you better now
She didn't realize just how long she stood watching him, hiding away in another room. It was only when he called out that dinner was ready that she was able to force herself to move. Ever so slowly, she joined him in the kitchen to find two plates heaping with spaghetti. She took the seat across from him and just stared into her plate for a long moment. Finally, she whispered, "Thank you, Beast Boy."
"Anything for you, Rae."
OOOOOOOO
The next afternoon, Raven sat in the center of the living room floor meditating.
Beast Boy sat next to her, his own legs crossed and his eyes closed. He was trying his best to meditate with her, but she could sense his frustration with sitting still for so long.
She peeked one eye open and glanced at him out of the corner of her eye. He was twitching his nose, as if it was itchy but he was fighting not to scratch at it. She smiled despite her every effort not to. "You're hating this, aren't you?"
"It's just so boring, yo."
She attempted to frown at his slang, but found her lips tugging in amusement. She might be scary as hell, but street smarts she did not have. Beast Boy had an open, fun nature to him. Even though he spent most of his time at the Tower, he still somehow managed to retain the mentality of the average human boy. Along with all of their other annoying habits.
"There are other ways to let off steam, you know."
She relaxed her position on the floor, letting her hands drop to her sides, and sent him a curious look of amusement. "What exactly do you plan to do? You remember we're banished to this forsaken cabin, right?"
His grin was all boyish. "I saw some art supplies in one of the kitchen cupboards. Let's paint."
"Paint?"
"Yep!" He leapt to his feet and raced into the kitchen, already sold on his impromptu idea.
As she followed him at a more subdued pace, watching him yank supplies from the cupboard, she could almost forget why they were here. It was nice, not having to worry all the time. Was this what life was like for him most days? If so, she envied him.
Taking the same seat at the kitchen table as she'd taken the night before for dinner, she settled in and looked down at the small, square canvass he set in front of her. "What are we supposed to paint exactly?"
He grinned. "Each other?"
She rolled her eyes but conceded. "Whatever you say." She watched for a moment as he bent his head over his own canvass, getting immediately absorbed in his task.
I'm gonna paint you by numbers and color you in
If things go right we can frame it, and put you on a wall
Time swept by faster than she would have thought. This cabin should have been hell for her, but as she looked down at her painting, she realized he'd made it at least bearable. She silently cursed Robin for his skills at observation as she put the finishing touches on her picture.
She almost didn't want to admit it, but this had been just as calming as meditation. It made her wonder if she should get herself an easel and set up a small painting area in her room back at the Tower. Mixing things up couldn't hurt.
"I'm done," she announced. She turned her picture to face him so he could see it. She'd chosen to paint him, but not in his current state. The picture she showed him was of a large green tiger. Its mouth was open in a vicious roar, its claws extended in warning. She'd done her best to capture his unique spirit, his otherworldly green eyes. There were tiny details that differentiated from the average tiger. Things that were all him.
"That's awesome." He spun his own canvass toward her. "What do you think?"
His painting was a little clumsy, a little wobbly. The lines weren't all that defined and there was an almost awkwardness to it. But it was that awkwardness that managed to melt her heart. She stared at it and knew he'd put himself fully into the painting. She could sense emotions from people, but she felt as if she could almost feel the care he'd put into his portrait rising up from the paint.
"This is terrible, Beast Boy." She offered him one of her subtle smiles. "I love everything about it."
And it's so hard to say it but I've been here before
And I'll surrender my heart and swap it for yours
She stared across the table at him with a mixture affection and horror at that affection. She could not be feeling…
Beast Boy's communicator beeped and a moment later, Robin's voice floating into the air between them, coming down like a shield over her emotions. "Beast Boy…it's Robin. Trigon…he's only got a limited window for the ritual. It's got to be completed before sundown. We're…fighting off his henchmen…" The sound of a battle rang out in the background. "But I think they're starting to realize Raven isn't here. They're peeling off. I'm worried…" There was a loud grunt and a pause. "Just be prepared, all right? Don't let them get their hands on Raven."
The communication died out, leaving them both in silence. The enjoyment they'd been getting out of the afternoon was washed away in an instant. Raven was tossed right back into the hell her life had become. Her friends were fighting a battle because of her. They could be injured. Because of her.
How she had thought, even for this slight amount of time, that her life could be anything resembling normal was insane. Bitterness welled inside of her. There was no joy meant for her. No love. It was just death and violence and struggle.
She stared across the table at the boy in front of her and felt a mixture of longing and bitterness. She could never be like him. She could never be with him. No matter how much she might secretly care for him, it would never work. Her father wouldn't let it.
"Come on, Rae," he said softly. "We need to get ready. In case…" He trailed off. They both knew what came after "in case". There was no need to vocalize it. If Trigon's forces were pulling back, odds were he'd found her. They were in for a fight. If they couldn't last until sundown…
I'm out of touch, I'm out of love
I'll pick you up when you're getting down
And out of all these things I've done I think I love you better now
As if on cue, the door burst open and Trigon's cronies flowed into the cabin. "There she is!" One of them pointed at Raven, and the group came at her, menace in their every move.
"Get back, Raven!" Beast Boy's voice rang in her ear a moment before a loud roar ripped through the air. A tiger burst forward, racing at the cabin's invaders.
She stood frozen for a moment, watching from her spot in the kitchen while the green changeling leapt into the mass of men without hesitation. For her.
I'm out of sight, I'm out of mind
I'll do it all for you in time
And out of all these things I've done I think I love you better now
Pushing back her fear, she advanced toward the living room. They might be after her, but she wasn't about to cower. She was not going to leave him to fight this battle alone. She sent a blast of her soul-self at the nearest man, slamming his back against the wall.
He gave a strangled cry before falling unconscious to the floor.
Human. Their attackers were human…at least some of them. With a burst of confidence, she advanced into the room, blasting a second man away from Beast Boy. Then a third. It looked as if her father had sent as many people as he possibly could, but that meant sending humans to do a demon's job. She and Beast Boy were grossly outnumbered, but if they could just hold out until sunset. Just a little bit more…
She heard an inhuman growl to her left and turned just in time to duck out of the way of a fireball. It had come sailing her way from a man she'd never seen before.
He laughed, twirling another ball of fire in his palm. "Daddy says hello."
"Tell him to go to hell," she snarled. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw that the first ball of fire had slammed into the kitchen tile, thankfully extinguishing on impact. If he threw another one and it hit curtains, they might be in a lot more trouble than they currently were.
"He's already there. He'd care for you to join him."
"I'll never join Trigon."
"If you won't go willingly, then we'll take you by force."
Raven didn't give him a chance to continue, to throw another ball of fire her way. While he was busy talking, she sent a blast of black power in his direction.
He was quick to react, hitting the black mass with a fireball. Both collided in midair and exploded in a rain of sparks and smoke.
She cringed and stumbled back. That had felt like a blast of heat ripping through her entire body. She felt weakened, drained. Fighting with her abilities was not going to be a possibility against this man.
He cackled, stomping across the floor toward her. "Enough. Just come quietly and—"
When he grabbed for her arm, Raven elbowed him in the nose. Bone broke and blood flowed.
He cursed, gripping his injured face. "I will kill you! Do you hear that?" He reached for her again. "Trigon just needs your blood. Orders didn't include bringing him a body." His hand latched onto her wrist, holding her captive.
With his free hand, he grabbed a knife from a sheath across his chest. He pulled his arm back, aiming a strike at her chest.
Before either could move, a green tiger came flying in their direction. Beast Boy tackled the man to the ground. Teeth flashed, claws lashed out. And screams filled the air.
Raven didn't have time to react, because someone else grabbed her from behind. She whipped her head back, cracking the back of her skull against the person's face. They dropped to the ground, releasing her.
Outside the window, she could see the sun dipping lower in the sky. They just needed to last a little longer. Just a little more…
A high, piercing yip filled the room. The sound only an animal could make.
Raven spun back to the struggle on the ground and gave a horrified scream. "Beast Boy!"
The tiger changeling had the knife intended for her jutting out of his ribcage. It roared in outrage before sinking its fangs deep into the fire-wielding man's shoulder. He shook the man like a rag doll, drawing out more screams.
Once the man stopped moving, Beast Boy collapsed to the floor, his breathing ragged.
Outside, the sun fell. As if a magical switch had been flicked, the men began retreating. They picked up their injured. They dragged the fire-wielder out of the door, retreating.
But the damage had been done. Beast Boy was on the ground—bleeding.
Don't hold me down
I think my braces are breaking and it's more than I can take
Raven dropped to her knees beside Beast Boy. Her fingers danced tentatively over his injury. "I've got to get the knife out. I can heal you."
He gave a grunt she took as acceptance, so she gripped the hilt of the knife and yanked it free. He gave another howl of pain and his form shifted back to his human—okay, mostly human—state. Blood pooled from the wound, soaking into the carpet beneath them.
Her heart in her throat, Raven pressed her hand to his side and concentrated all her efforts on healing him. She allowed her last reserves of energy to flow into him. His torn flesh knitted back together, the wound closing up.
It was only once she was certain he would be okay that she collapsed to the floor in a state of near unconsciousness. Between her fight with the fire-wielder and this, she was completely drained of power. She heard his communicator beep, heard Robin's voice, but she was too weak to respond.
"Yes. Yes. Raven's safe," Beast Boy assured. "But she's completely drained. I don't think she's in any state to travel. Give us until morning, all right?" He nodded, though Robin couldn't see him, before breaking off communication.
"Come on, Rae. Let's get you to bed."
Raven gave a soft mumble of protest when he scooped her up into his arms. "No…" He was injured too. There was no way he was feeling completely healed after being stabbed. It was impossible. Despite her objection, her head dropped tiredly to his shoulder. She could barely keep her eyes open, let alone fight him on his sudden chivalry.
He carried her into the main bedroom. Bending carefully, he lowered her to the soft mattress. He pulled the comforter down with awkward tugs and managed to get her underneath the blankets. As he was tucking them up around her chin, she reached a weak arm up to him. "Garfield…stay."
His green eyes widened in disbelief. This might be the first time she'd ever called him by his real name, and it obviously took him by surprise. After a moment to recover, he gave her a slow nod. "Okay."
Pulling back the blanket, he crawled in beside her. He offered a small, pained groan as he settled in.
She could sympathize. Her head was spinning and she felt like she could sleep for an eternity. Still, she took a moment to soak in the warm feel of his arm as it curved around her shoulder, holding her close.
And it's dark in a cold December, but I've got ya to keep me warm
And if you're broken I'll mend ya
And keep you sheltered from the storm that's raging on now
"I'm glad you're safe," he mumbled into her hair.
"I'm glad you're okay." Her fingers sought his waist and she brushed them along the healed skin where the knife had pierced him. "You shouldn't have put yourself in danger like that."
"Anything for you, Rae. You're worth it."
She froze as he nuzzled his cheek against the top of her head, but after a moment he went still, exhaling tiredly. She relaxed against him, curling up against his side. She was surprised to find warm tears leaking from her eyes. Had she ever been worth it to anyone else before? She knew the answer to that, and it was heartbreaking.
"Don't ever do that again," she whispered. "I couldn't bear to lose you."
"Noted," he whispered into her hair. "Ditto." And hugging her tight, he drifted off to sleep.
She lay awake for a long while, listening to his even breathing, soaking in the warmth of his body against hers. She couldn't sleep, she didn't want to. She knew this moment was finite, that they would return to the Tower and life would go back to normal. This moment would be forgotten by him, but it would be etched into her soul for eternity. She wanted it to last as long as it could. Because nothing else in her life had compared to this moment.
OOOOOOOO
Raven awoke before Beast Boy and was quick to slip out of bed, out of the room. She put distance between them, retreating back to the standoffish personality she was. She'd had a moment of weakness the night before, but she couldn't allow such a thing to happen again. Whatever feelings she had for him, she had to bury them. A happy ending was never meant for her. Her father would never let her go and anyone who attached themselves to her in an emotional fashion would be in danger.
I'm out of touch, I'm out of love
I'll pick you up when you're getting down
And out of all these things I've done I think I love you better now
The canvasses remaining spread out on the table caught her attention and she reached a finger out to gently stroke the painting of herself. Still, she would store the previous night away in her memory as one of the most intimate moments of her life. She never let anyone get close and Garfield had managed to do just that. He'd pierced her walls. He'd pierced her heart. She just had to keep him from knowing it.
I'm out of sight, I'm out of mind
I'll do it all for you in time
And out of all these things I've done I think I love you better now
From the bedroom doorway came his groggy voice. "You ready to head back to reality?"
No. Her heart screamed in protest. She was not ready to let go of the previous night. Despite the violence and danger, it had been the most open she'd ever been with another person. Her heart ached at the thought of going back. She already mourned the warmth of his body beside hers. "Yes. I'm ready," she said in an even, emotionless voice. She had to smother the emotions swirling through her. Such things weren't meant for a half-demon. They didn't get happy endings. It didn't matter if they were in love.
I'm out of touch, I'm out of love
I'll pick you up when you're getting down
And out of all these things I've done I think I love you better now
"Back to reality," she said softly. "I look forward to it." A lie. But it was all she had to protect her heart.
"Yeah," he said quietly. "Me too."
She hoped he was lying as well, but there was no way to truly know. To soften the blow to her ego, she told herself he wasn't ready to go back either, but the truth was, it didn't matter. She would never get that happy ending.
I hope to continue this if it is well received.
If you like my writing, I am a published author. Check out my Amazon best selling young adult books written under Melissa Frost:
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