Author's Note
Rated T for swearing.
"Is Eren still sleeping?"
"…Yeah…"
"…Are you going to cry, Hanji?"
"Haha…I just might, Levi…I just might."
Levi glances over at the door leading to Eren's room, and then looks back to Hanji, who is crouching on the ground, hugging her knees.
"He…still hasn't healed. It's been one week since you cut his feet off to drag him outta his Titan form, but…they still haven't grown back. He's hardly even breathing…"
Slowly walking to Hanji's side, Levi turns his back to the wall and leans back, his shoulders hitting the cold bricks softly.
"But he is alive. He probably won't heal anymore, but…" Levi notices Hanji's shoulders twitching, but continues anyway. "But we can at least use him one more time."
Usually, Hanji would have gotten upset and retorted. But today, all Levi can hear is her sniffling and sobbing.
"…Please…don't say that…please don't say it like that…"
Hanji continues crying, while Levi stands next to her, staring at the opposite wall. He can pretty much guess what she is thinking at the moment, but before he can think of how to deal with it, Hanji speaks up in a muffled, nasal voice.
"Is…is this…h-how Erwin always feels?"
Sigh…I knew it.
"If Erwin reacted to every casualty like you right now, then he wouldn't hold his current position."
"I know! I know that sacrifices must be made. But Eren isn't even 20 yet…just how much does that poor child need to go through…before…"
"Before he dies? Listen, Hanji. That kid is just fighting like every other fucking soldier. He used his bloody power to fight, and that's causing him to die, but it's not like you sent him to his death. So don't try to comfort yourself by claiming to relate to Erwin's pain. You and I should both know very well that no one can understand his feelings…no one can share his guilt of giving the orders which might lead hundreds of soldiers to their deaths."
"You don't understand, Levi! I should have understood Eren's power the most…I thought I did. But I had no idea at all….what he had to go through because of it…hell, I didn't even realise how much using the power messes up his body! If only I realised! If only I didn't repeatedly make him participate in those stupid experiments…If…if only I didn't see how bravely he always fights…"
"…That's not bravery, it's just desperation."
"You're wrong!"
Hanji finally looks up. Her tears which had briefly stopped start again, but she looks straight at Levi, pressing him to do the same. As tears stream endlessly down her face, Hanji speaks in a low but firm tone.
"I used to think that it was painful being weak; being unable to fight. But watching Eren, I finally realised…just how excruciating it is…when you have the power to fight, but you can't even protect those precious to you. But Eren acknowledges that pain! He acknowledges it and fights! That's strength, Levi. He's a strong child and a brave child."
They continue staring at each other for a while, before Hanji starts wiping her dripping face with her sleeves, and stands up to leave.
"You're too attached to the kid."
Hanji turns back to look at Levi, pauses, and then replies.
"Are you talking about me, or yourself?"
She turns around again and marches down the corridor.
Levi you idiot…pretending you don't care about that child. I can tell, you and I both feel responsible for his life…for playing around with that child's life. His life didn't need to end up this way, but we brought him into this, and lead him around like livestock. Even if we try to cover it up with pretty words like "comrade" or "friend", in the end we used him for his power. And now he's going to die because of that…
Sigh…
Even though you, Levi, of all people, can relate to Eren's pain the most.
Author's Note
Thank you for reading :) I'm not sure if I'm confident in this chapter, but I think I like it ;3 I hope you liked it as much as I do!
Having said that, I do feel that maybe I have tried to shove too many ideas into it at once. I sorta tried to touch on Eren's suffering, Erwin's suffering, Hanji's suffering and Levi's suffering...but I haven't included any kind of detail what so ever about any of them sufferings... lol... (except that Eren is dying because of his Titan power). I wonder if Hanji ever has times like this, when she isn't acting all crazy, but actually shows some more sentimental and humane emotions.
At this point I should point out that I have NOT read SnK manga, and therefore a lot of things won't make sense, but please just turn a blind eye. Also, I'm pretty bad at keeping characters in character, so sorry for the OOCness. Actually, sorry for a lot of things.
Regarding the title, "A Pitiful Child's Final Battle", I'm not sure what to think of the word "pitiful"...because the Japanese words that I had in mind were 'aware-na' or 'kawaisou', which are often translated as 'pitiful' or 'pitiable'. In my opinion, 'pitiable' is the better choice because 'pitiful' kind of implies 'looking down on [someone]', but according to the dictionary they both mean 'evoking pity', which is exactly the meaning I want; that it evokes pity from the reader towards the character. So in the end I went with 'pitiful' because it seems like a more...normal word than 'pitiable', but I would be very interested in finding out what others think of this. Which word is more suitable? To you, do they mean the same thing or not? etc...
Once again, THANK YOU, and I hope you enjoyed!