Hera always had trouble focusing on the small moments.
Growing up with her father she had always been hyper aware of the bigger picture, the overarching themes that made up her life and her family and what one must sacrifice to achieve the end goal. For her father fighting for the freedom of Ryloth, first against the Separatists and then the Empire, was of paramount importance.
His family had just been another sacrifice.
This had been the basis for one of their many repeating arguments while she was growing up. She believed one should keep their family close. After all, what's the point of a better future if you end up alone?
As always it was about the endgame.
When she had met Kanan, she had originally encouraged him to join her purely for the skills he had brought to the table, which were plentiful. That and a crew beyond Chopper would make fighting the Empire a lot easier.
But she quickly came to realize he saw things very differently.
She noticed that when he watched her fly it was with the same look people had when they watched the velkers on Bespin. A look of wonder mixed with fearful respect. And that when he'd talk to her there was a slight softness to his eyes. Soon she found herself enjoying the little things he'd do. The lingering looks she'd catch him shooting her way, the way his hands would rest on her shoulders a little longer then necessary or how his thumbs would caress the backs of her hands when he gripped them. She responded by returning the looks and loved the way he blushed bright pink the first time she did it. If anyone would ever bother to ask she would compare their relationship to building blocks slowly being stacked on top of each other. The looks and then the touches were given, shared then added to until they took on a particular form. Kanan's transition in her life from crew to lover was the first time she truly appreciated the little things that came together to make a whole.
Much like the crew they ended up with, all the hodge podge little pieces coming together to form a crack team.
Yet, as open as Kanan was with Zeb and Sabine there were somethings he'd only talk about in the privacy of her arms. The Fall of the Jedi Order and his life before they met were just a few. There was a lot of things he regretted and crimes he was guilty of. He told her only a fraction and knowing how difficult trust was for him she was honored. Kanan would cry when they were together. He would only let himself cry with her, never in front of 'the kids'. Which was a turn of phase they both latched onto like a rancor to a bone, much to her amusement.
She also got a in depth insight into his personal philosophy. Which was nothing like the broad minded self sacrificing mindset her father had always claimed the Jedi held.
While he did see the bigger picture, Kanen's efforts to focus on the little moments at first confounded her. But listening his softly whispered descriptions of the brightly colored birds from that one planet they visited, the way a street urchin had smiled after he gave the tyke one of their ration packs on that last run or how their banter always made him smile, it made her heart feel lighter then it had in years.
After that she made a concerted effort to notice these things as well. She found it easier then she could have ever imagined and after Ezra came into their lives she couldn't imagine it any other way. The memory of Ezra, skittish as a loth cat, throwing his arms around her in a hug only a few weeks after joining the crew would always have a special place in her heart.
When Kanan was captured her mind tormented her with all their moments together, made all the more agonizing knowing there was nothing she could do to help him. The risk was to great. One man was not worth the galaxy.
Except he was.
They got him back.
To Hera, the big picture became a little clearer that day.
A few hours after they had rescued Kanan from the Empire and having dropped Tano off at Commander Sato's ship, Hera put the Ghost on autopilot and left the cockpit, heading for the ship's mess in hope's of grabbing a quick bite before heading to bed. It was late in the ship's night and the rest of the crew were already asleep in their cabins. Which was why when Hera enter the common area she froze in surprise at the sight that greeted her.
Kanan was sitting at the dijarrik table with his head hanging low as if he had just nodded off. Curled into a ball and pressed so deeply into Kanan's side he was practically in his lap was Ezra, dead to the world. The boy's dark hair hung over his face, not quite hiding the white bacta patch on his cheek, and a possessive fist clung tightly to the Jedi's shirt. Hera smiled when she noticed that Kanan's arm was wrapped protectively around the boy's shoulders, holding him close. She approached quietly and placed a gentle kiss to her Jedi's temple. As she drew back his eyes fluttered open and he flashed her a tired smile.
"Go back to sleep, love." she urged him in a low voice.
A pained look crossed his face "I should probably head to my bunk." he said, letting out a sigh "The last thing I need on top of everything else is a stiff neck."
"You don't want to disturb Ezra." she countered, gesturing to the boy who Kanan shot a look of rueful fondness "He needs the rest and I doubt he's going to let you out of his sight. He's barely slept since you were taken."
"Ah, kid." Kanan sighed more to himself then anyone else then shot her a bemused look "I guess I'm staying here then. Care to join me?" He asked and held out his arm in invitation.
With a soft chuckle, Hera slipped in under his arm and leaned her head against his shoulder, feeling a sense of warmth fill her as he pulled her close. "Night, Love." she said
"Good night, Hera." he murmured in reply
Listening to his breathing ease as Kanan drifted back to sleep, Hera felt the tension of the last few weeks leave her shoulders. Reaching out to gently stroke Ezra's hair, she smiled contentedly. Yes, it really was the small moments that made the big picture worthwhile.
If you found the time to make them.