Review. Next thing up soon. Non smut. Sad. Suicide warning. Did not care for the newest episode.
Jasper was sitting with her back to the celebration. The number of gems behind her probably numbered in the hundreds, and all of them were almost abnormally happy. It was unnatural. There was laughter, and happiness, and some were playing instruments while others were playing an earth game that their leader had introduced to them.
Jasper did not even know what to call the leader at the moment. Steven. Rose Quartz. Pink Diamond. The leader was all of these things and yet none of them in equal measure.
They had all explained it to Jasper time after time. Again and again, trying to make it clear for her. And she still only half understood it. The little purple runt had been explaining it to her over and over again. Saying that he was a brand new thing, a brand new being, something entirely other. And something entirely singular.
A Steven. The first of his kind, and the only one of his kind. Jasper understood that much. It was everything else that she did not understand. Or did not want to understand. She remained with her eyes firmly locked at the horizon, she knew exactly what she was waiting for. She had been waiting for them ever since they left. She had been waiting for them to turn around and say that there had been some sort of a mistake. Or a joke. Or something.
She was still waiting for the great diamond authority to return and let her onto their ships and get her off of the mudball. To tell her that it had all just been a misunderstanding and that they were not leaving her here. With them.
Jasper continued to stare, not blinking, not moving. Sand had gotten into her hair and inbetween her teeth and even on the tiny horns that were sprouting from her forehead. She gazed off into the distance seeing absolutely nothing. Just the sun, the sky, the clouds, and that horrible, awful, wonderful ocean.
She heard someone walking towards her and ignored them. She was still on high alert, deep within enemy territory. But that didn't mean that she was actually going to give them the decency of a response.
"Hey sis." The purple gem said sitting down beside the massive orange cat like gem. Jasper did not look, she ignored the annoying little runt as best as she could. Jasper still did not understand why she was trying to be polite to her. After all she had tried to murder the Amethyst on multiple occassions without any remorse or holding back.
And yet somehow, after she had woken up from that strange foggy half sleep where she had lost her mind...the runt had been there, smiling and saying that everything was alright and even attempting to explain things to her in a way that she would understand.
"What are you just going to mope for the rest of the month? Come on. Join the party." The so called party had been going on for most of the week, with the now uncorrupted gems lounging, playing, making music, and practically fawning all over the Steven. Jasper was not though, Jasper was the only one not submitting herself to boosting the brats ego.
"Hey are you actually going to respond to me or what?" Ametyhst said finally losing paitence and sitting up to glare at the gem. Jasper glanced over at her before returning to look forwards.
"Come on! You aren't still hung up about the ocean right? Talk to Lapis and everything will be-"
"Lazuli?" Jasper said in surprise before feeling her heartbeat increase. She looked down at where the waves were slowly glancing at her toes. She looked up at the grape colored gem and then over her shoulder where the blue winged aristocrat was leaning against the side of a car and chattering with a group of other gems.
Jasper grimaced. Of course. Lapis Lazuli. She had not thought about her in a long time. She had more pressing things to think about. More important things. Jasper felt a strange feeling clinching in her chest and she gulped deeply. She was frightened. After all Lazuli was the most unstable gem that she had ever met, or at the very least the most sociopathic.
"I wasn't thinking about Lapis Lazuli." Jasper said before turning her attention back towards the ocean. The feeling in her chest moved towards her stomach to sit with the other rocks that had formed there every single time that she saw the moon. When she saw the moon it meant that another day had passed and she was still on this muddy slimeball trillions of light years away from Homeworld and the Diamonds. Trillions of light years from where she could be of use. Trillions of light years away from her enemies that she couldn't fight and somewhere where she would not just be a joke.
"What were you thinking of then?" Amethyst said worriedly as she looked at her fellow solider. She was concerned about Jasper, sure Jasper was a massive jerk who had hurt them all. But if the tyranical dictators who had done horrific nightmarish experiements on Pearl and Garnet's friends and fellow soliders could be reddemed just by talking a little bit...then what was stopping a brainwashed solider with mild to severe ptsd?
Really what was the worst that Jasper had done? Her crimes in comparison paled to what the diamonds did. Amethyst had even been mind controlled by one! And she was still brought to their side. Jasper was nothing compared to white diamond.
"Home." Jasper said turning to look at the aproximate location of the star cluster.
"But you were made on Earth."
"And I got off of it runt. And I was happy off of it. I only came back to this trash pile to get revenge on the one who killed my diamond..."Jasper spat dryly before looking around and gesturing widely at all of the partying still happening around her.
"And now all of this."
"Yeah. And now all of this." Amethst repeated before standing up to actually look the sitting gem in the eye. "Come on. You're stuck here right? You can be miserable or you can actually hash this out. Which will it be?"
"Do you know why I'm stuck here." Jasper said, not meeting Ametysht's eyes. "It's because they said that The Steven was Pink Diamond. When I was uncorrupted and the Diamond Authority was about to leave I tried to get onto their ship. I tried to go with them. Do you know what they said to me?" Jasper snorted and rubbed at her eye. She had a few tears in them. The first ones that she had shed in millenia.
"They pointed to that pebble over there-"Jasper pointed where Steven was sitting surrounded by his friends and admirers. He was strumming a small guitar and giggling like nothing could ever phase him. Peridot, Garnet, Pearl, Lazuli were all with him and filling the other surrounding gems on the adventure they had had in space.
"And they said he was my new leader. That I had been built for his gem. Which meant I belonged to him. And I was to follow his orders."
"Well that's not so bad right?" Ametyst said hopefully twiddling her fingers. She had been the first to go towards the orange striped gem and actually try to talk to her. All of the others had ignored her on Lapis's encouragement. Something that the blue tinged gem had said rang in Ametyst's ears.
'Leave her. She isn't worth it. She doesn't deserve your patience.'
Amethyst gulped and grinned nervously. She really wished that Garnet would come over here and help explain things, or Pearl would glance away from oogling the other gems and bail her out. Or Peridot would swoop in, or anyone at all would notice her and help her out of this jam. Jasper was like an immovable object, a chunk of granite that no matter how hard she tried, she could not make move.
"The most painful thing is that if I had known that was pink diamond I would have been by her side." Jasper said softly. "I was loyal to her, through thick and thin. I would have fought the entire homeworld army myself if I had known. But my orders were to protect Pink Diamond from the Crystal Gems who would do her harm. And they did, there were attacks on her early on in the war."
"Well...it was war...it was a confusing mess..."Ametyhst said attempting to spin it the way Steven probably would. Jasper glowered at her before shaking her head.
"Made all the more confusing because she couldn't bother to rebel as herself. I was fighting when I was made, I was fighting for the Diamonds the moment that we abandonded earth. I was fighting all of you when I came back down, I was fighting her when I was trapped in Malachite...Now...now there's nothing left for me to fight..."
"I thought Lapis was fighting you when you were Malachite?" Ametysht said suddenly. She winced when it left her mouth and she looked at Jasper apologetically. Jasper shook her head slowly before pointing at the water.
"Does it look like I can control that? She was holding me under there. Every second. Filling our lungs, drowning me, keeping me alive. PRessing down on me every single waking second. Keeping me in chains that she had complete control of. Sometimes she would give me a second of hope and then spin us around and keep me completely crushed. I was in pain. Just enough pain to stay awake, but never enough to break and be free from the torture. The worst part was knowing that she could have ended it at any time. I tried to unfuse but she kept us stubbornly pressed together. We could have broken apart and she could have crushed me and ended my suffering there. But she didn't. She's a monster. And you all decided that she needed help over me."
"Hey! That's not fair! Lapis isn't a..."Ametysht cut herself off. Lapis was possibly the most powerful gem that she had ever met next to the diamonds. She could steal all of earths water while cracked, survive in space and seemed to effortlessly take on anything that the current homeworld threw at her. She was powerful, and...
Ametysht looked towards the so called 'monster' gem. Lapis was laughing, she looked innocent enough. But Ametysht knew how deceiving looks could be. Like someone weak being strong, someone big being small and someone who says that they are fine and want to be left alone needing help more then anyone else. But rejecting it again and again under the illusion of being strong and powerful.
"I am trapped here. Doing nothing for eternity. While they are out there. Expanding the empire." Jasper said witsfully. "I don't blame them for tossing me aside. I was pathetic. And weak. And hopeless. I'm a laughing stock. Pink was probably laughing the entire time that I was fighting her. Look at the brick head who can't see how obviously I am her Diamond."
Jasper snorted and squeezed the sand. "Pathetic."
"Jasper I-"Ametysht starts reaching to touch the orange gem who shifts away nervously. After all she had been hurt by them again and again. She hurt them back as well...but really who here hadn't? Why should Jasper be the one singled out and kept away?
"Hey! Amethyst!" A bright cheery voice called out. The purple gem turned to look as Steven wandered over with a large smile on his face, he looked between her and the clearly uncomfortable quartz solider before turning all of his attention to her. "Is everything okay?"
He looked pointedly at Jasper and it was then that Ametysht realized what he was trying to ask. Not if Jasper was 'alright' but if Jasper would suddenly attack. After all this time, and all of the people that he helped, even someone as awful as the tyranical trio of dictators that were probably still out in space conquering and enslaving trillions...he still did not like or trust Jasper. He was just stuck with her.
"Everything is fine. Clearly." Lapis said walking purposefully towards the small group and placing a protective hand on Steven's shoulder. He looked shorter then usual. "Well...almost fine."
Amethyst just noticed the bitter poison in Lapis's voice. She had never noticed it before.
"If someone at least would take a hint and-"
"There's nowhere for me to go lazuli." Jasper deadpanned, not even bothering to look at her. "Nowhere to go. No one to want me. I am nothing."
"Hey! Don't say that about yourself!" Amethyst demanded as she gripped the quartz shoulder. Trying to shake her a bit, shake the funk out of her. Jasper chuckled, it was the first laugh that she had given since being uncorrupted. It was a sad sound. With history, and the betrayl of everyone that she ever trusted or held close wrapped up in it. It was one of the most heart shattering sounds that had ever been heard.
Steven rubbed at his face, it was turning a little red from him being out in the sun so much lately.
"Hey! Why can't we all just rejoin the party and have some-"
"You said that I can do whatever I want right? That since you're not my diamond, that I can just choose my own destinty then?" Jasper interrupted. Her hand moving slowly towards her own face.
"I...yes?" Steven said nervoulsy not sure what was going to come.
"Then I choose to cease." Jasper said simply, she gripped her gem, it sat right in the middle of her face so it was easy to do so.
"Hey...w-what are you doing?" Ame said nervously as Steven watched in shocked silence and Lapis actually looked on impassively. Jasper growled, gripping her gem and squeezing.
Amethyst knew how hard it was to poof a gem. It would take great power and focus. And Jasper was going for something far more permanent. She squeezed and pressed her hand into the sand. The waves were lapping at their feet as the tide came in. And she shattered her own gem, her muscles bulged and then slowly faded. Her gem shards floated in a brief orange haze and then fell to the water.
The newly formed trio stood in the water. Amethyst fell to her knees and began running her hands through the salty spray, desperately trying to find the missing pieces. She had not gone cleanly. Amethyst had seen her gem turn into dozens of shards.
Steven stood there impassively, his jaw slack and his eyes wide. He had no idea how to respond.
Lapis clearly did. She tutted, shaking her head with a chuckle before turning back to the party.
"Good riddance."
She walked away. Steven glancing between Amethyst kneeling in the surf looking for more of the shards and the retreating back of Lapis. He quickly ran after the blue gem shouting something about how that wasn't very nice.
Amethsyt thought she saw an orange shard but when she grabbed it all it turned out to be was a crab leg.
Review. Next thing up soon. Minor personal issues with the newest episode, so this is a response.