DISLAIMER: characters, settings and anything you recognize from the book is all from the very genius Suzanne Collins

Author's note: enjoy!

Takes place after Catching Fire.

I stuff my pillow in discomfort. It seems everything in this scruffy old District 13 is as hard as a rock. I look at my scarred hands, a remnant of the games, a mar of what the Capitol did to me, the scars that will always be a remainder of how I failed to keep Peeta alive. I'm now desperately clinging to the idea that he is still breathing, tortured, but breathing. Sucking the life out of him to get more information on where I am. But they can't kill him, he'd be bait. To lure me into their hands then destroy me. I'd let them, just not him.

I don't want to think about that. I spent most of my time living recluse. Confined in this cold, stone walled room, cry about Peeta, about Johannah, Rue's and Thresh's family, my insane prep team and especially Cinna. Unlike my mother and Prim, they're going to be tortured. Because of me. Why can't I just die? The image of Cinna bloodied and beaten at the Capitol or Peeta almost dead in the arena, it is unbearable.

I try to sleep but capture a mental image of him, smiling and enthusiastic. I miss that. My pretend lover of District 12, my fiancé', the father of this made up child, the only person who can keep me sane right now. "He's alive," I convince myself then drift to sleep, in the midst of a dream, clinging to his memory, fulfilling my sanity.

.....

I see the arena, only I am surrounded in a mist of darkness. I turn around, desperately trying to figure away to move, but I lay paralyzed, in my own blood. Then I see Clove, Brutus, Enobaria surrounding me in a circle, Cato leading them.

"Katniss! I'm coming!" I hear a mishmash of voices. I try to stand up but only get caught in the playful stare of Clove, holding Finnick's trident. Slick in blood, she smiles at me wickedly. "Katniss!" I hear that voice again accompanied with a set of noisy footsteps. "I'm here!"

I turn around, but they move closer to a claustrophobic circle. "the girl on fire," I hear Enobaria hiss. I killed all of them, they were dead. They're supposed to be dead. But they stand there, in front of me. The way they were before in the arena.

"Katniss!" I realize the voice was Peeta's. So I call out for him until the voice disappear. "Peeta!" I finally stood up, realize the heavy gushing of tears and blood in my head. I run but I don't move.

"Too late." Cato steps up. Pull out a knife from my hand and trace his neck from the tip of the blade. Blood squirted to my eye, but it wasn't mine, it was Cato's. I see his neck gushing blood, putting the knife at the deepest part of his throat. I turn to the others, mimicking him. All smiling widely at me. I scream. What are they doing? Beheading themselves? I close my eyes from the unbearable gore then notice a sting from my neck. My eyes flutter; I realize that blood from my damp clothes was mine.

Then I see the blade in my hands, I was beheading myself.

...............

"No!" my voice turn to a piercing scream as I erect myself from a mass of bed sheets. My hands go to my neck, slick with sweat. Sweat not blood. I sigh in relief. It's just a dream.

"Katniss," I hear a warm voice behind me. I find my head resting on a shoulder, inhaling deeply as if air is running out.

"Peeta……" I look up; tighten the grasp of his fingers to mine as he pulls me closer. "Peeta?" it took time before everything started sinking in, but by the time I realize it, tears well up in my eyes and I launch to Peeta's arms. He's safe, he's here. I tell myself. Not in President Snow's Captive, not in a deathbed. Just in my scruffy underground room. I tighten my arms as he pulls me closer, his arms wrapped around protectively. I didn't want to let go. For weeks I haven't seen him. I couldn't wait to tell Beetee or Haymitch. Or did they know already?

"You're safe." I loosen his grip as both of our hands interlock. He finds me in tears and he wipes it away with his thumb. I stare at his face, smiling back at me. How I missed that face. His reassurance, his security. But how did he get away? Is Johannah with him? I don't think it matters anymore.

"I'll leave if you cry again." He jokes. We both chime into a soft laugh and I silence it by curling up to him, like all the other nights of my nightmare. "Then if I wont cry, what should I do?" the air turn intense and I pull up my knees, wiping the sweat and tears into his soft muscles.

"Then sleep." He tells me, stroking my hair repeatedly. I protest but he's going to go away if I don't. So I close my eyes, pretend to sleep, still locked in his tight grip. I want to tell him everything, about District 12; about the revolution I'm supposed to be leading and about how useless I felt when I didn't receive any news from him.

I find his lips brushing to my neck, gentle as wind. "I can't sleep anymore." I mumbled and hear him sigh. "I don't feel safe dreaming."

I look up to meet his gaze but he kisses me in the forehead instead and tucks me into a thick swarm of blankets. "As long as I'm here, I won't let them touch you. Just remember that when you dream." I see him smile assuringly. I stare at his words; he'll make me believe in anything anyway. "do that and you'll feel safe."

Yes, my safety. I remember the last time in the arena; he told me he will protect me even if that meant dying. But his death isn't something I can afford. i tighten my fingers to his, afraid to let go. When Peeta realized what I was doing, he sighs again, half frustrated at my stubbornness. "Katniss, Im here, I wont go away." he cups my swelling cheeks and pulls my hips closer, "I'm here."

I find myself drift away in his soft yet so desirable lips. I don't care about breathing, I just linger more, in his intense kiss. Like that one time we were in the Quarter Quell, after he told me he would protect me, the kiss that goes down to your spine and you're suddenly afraid to stop. I feel him hesitate but he still breaks from me, "I'm here." He whispers, his head, resting beneath my shoulder. I close my eyes but then notice the smell of metallic blood. I jump. I see the gushing of uncontrollable blood from his temples. I wrap a bed sheet around his head and scream for help, as loud as my throat could possibly take. But no one comes.

"Peeta!" I shake him but he just smiles at me, mouthing words, "Don't worry," over and over again. I cup his face, aware of the cloth around his skin, damp red. "No! No! No! Don't leave me!" I cry.

I turn around, aware of the heat that surrounds us. I saw that my underground room has turned into an inferno of hell. I see President Snow, a sharp blade in hand along with Clove. I scan to my right and see Gale, looking at me in a blank and nonchalant expression. I scream his name many times, asking him to help Peeta but he just stares at me.

"Katniss, the girl on fire." I hear President Snow say, he widens an unmerciful gaze at me as he hands a burning torch to Clove. I hug Peeta, knowing this would be the end of me. But he is as pale and bloody as a corpse. I cry harder but he reaches his bloody hand out and I take it. "I love you." He says, enthusiasm in his trembling voice.

I see Clove approach us in a playful gaze. Of course she is enjoying this. I killed her, its only fair that she will kill me too. Then she smashes the torch to the cement until a monstrous fire surround us. I cannot burn, whenever I touch the heated flames, nothing happens. I just watch Peeta's corpse slowly blackening to ashes.

"PEETA!" I scream, unable to breathe properly. Sweat surrounds my face and I am swallowed by my tears. I look around me, no President Snow, no flames, no fire and no Peeta. Just my scruffy stone-walled room in District 13.

"Katniss, it's just a dream." I hear a voice near me. "Peeta?" I thoughtlessly and desperately mumble but then find Gale at the edge of my bed, an arm pulling me to him.

"No, it's me." He turns away and I see his frustrated expression. I obviously hurt the worst of him and worst of all, threw Peeta to his face. I saw the disappointment in his voice but still, he crawls to my bed and draw me closer as I curl to him. "It's only a dream." He tells me again assuringly. I rest my head in his shoulder as his large thumb caresses the remains of my tears.

I lay there with Gale, wide awake, trying not to remember the previous nightmare, but then I failed. The way he comforts me assuringly in my nightmare, the lips I couldn't escape and the way I saw him lying as a bloody corpse and still, he thought of me. His words replay in my mind, "I'm here."

"As long as I am here, I won't let them touch you."

I pull Gale closer to me as his grasp tighten. Like it was every night of a nightmare before, I'd always be in someone else's arms. But this is only futile. Because even if he holds me as strong as he did, he still isn't Peeta.

............

PLEASE REVIEW!!! This is my first peetakatniss fic. What do u think? Nostalgic? Perky? Im sorry for the beheading part.