Excuse the language, and the grammar!
Watching Withnail and I!
Made me laugh!
"Sherlock, where the fuck are you?" John screamed into his mobile, after an hour of trying his friend's number, he'd finally managed to get through to the message service. "I'm in fucking bastard Swindon in a company selling paper! I feel like a pig has shit in my head! The man next to me claims he's an undead pirate from the 18th Century. There's this girl making gooey eyes at me who claims she's a writer on an American Comedy Chat show. And The boss, he's a fat fucker, keeps trying to hand out golden globe awards while insulting me!" John rubbed his eyes, again and again, banging his head on the desk in front of him. "They keep playing Stereophonics rifts, you wait just you wait if I find this is to do with you…Oh God, Sherlock help me!"
Twenty minutes later, of drivel and UST John's phone bleeped,
Can't help you just now, I am a Professor of Math's at Cambridge and I'm about to prove one of Einstein's General Relativity singularity theorems, and I've been diagnosed with motor-neurone disease. SH
Sorry everyone, I've let myself down, you down and the work!