05/13/2012

This is in Divergent, right after the rankings were told. What if Tris didn't go back to the dorm that night and what if she wasn't exhausted? This is how I think it would go.

I do not own this material.

After the announcements have been made of the ranking, everyone is crowded around me.

Surprise seems to be the underlining theme to everyone's words. No one could believe a Abnegation transfer could come in ranking first. Someone starts playing some music and people start diverting from talking to her, to dancing and drinking. Relief rushes over her, at least that's done.

Tris starts to sway with the music, euphoric with the vibe of the room. I did it, and the rankings are done. Christina had handed me something to drink a while back. Judging by how I'm feeling right now it must have had alcohol in it. She must have known I would need it to handle everyone focusing on me. I've never had that much attention on me in my life before. Maybe when I jumped, but then everyone was a dark, unknown face. No one touched me, and I didn't have to stumble to try to think of a good response.

Oh and I kissed Tobias in front of everyone. My whole faction now knows that I have feelings towards Four. In that moment I didn't care what anyone thought. If people would think some favoritism played into my rank. I take another drink from my bottle.

I don't really notice it, but now I'm slightly swaying to the music by myself on the edge of the crowd. Tobias finally finds me again, and leads me to the dance floor. He takes my slight swaying and adds his. I silently chuckle as I lean against his chest. I have never danced before, for that would be selfish. For a moment I am baffled at how I got here at this moment. I am happy. I continue to sip at my drink.

The effects of alcohol must be working through me already. My feelings and attitude to everyone have subsided. The fear landscape seems to be a fading memory. Right now, I only feel Tobias dancing against me.

I don't want to break our contact, knowing that it would ruin the moment. So I steal another sip from the flask and keep on dancing.

Tobias' look in his eyes seem to be concerned, but I shrug it off. I know that I'm number one. I'm going to land a great job with the Dauntless, and nothing is going to stop me from being with Tobias. We can go to Abnegation later and tell them that there is danger in the future for them, but for tonight I want to enjoy this.

I lean forward and kiss him again. It's such an enlightenment, to be able to kiss Tobias in front of my whole faction. Who would have thought that I would have been here just a few weeks ago?

I sway heavier, maybe not just because of the music. This flask seems to be having an effect on me. But the effect seems to be that I'm more interested in Tobias.

I kiss him again, a little deeper then I normally do. I know that people are watching, but I don't care.

"Come on," Tobias breaths into my ear.

Tobias grabs my hand and starts leading me through the dwindling crowd in the room and through the pit towards his apartment. Every few steps I drink some liquid courage.

I barely am able to walk straight. Before I realize it, we have reached his apartment. Tobias walks through his door and drops my hand.

"I didn't think we would be back here so soon." Tobias chuckled.

"Well, I'm not opposed to it." I tell him. I look confusedly at the flask in my hand and put it down on the floor near the bed. I suddenly want to stop feeling so sluggish.

Tobias has turned around and headed to the bathroom, and I find a seat on his bed. My shoes are hurting my feet and so I kick them off and tuck my legs underneath me.

"Here," Tobias hands me a glass of water.

"Thanks," I reply weakly.

Tobias reaches out and with his fingers lightly cupping my face, makes me look into his eyes.

"You deserve this Tris. You deserve to be happy."

"So do you."

"What do you mean?" Tobias said with a slight frown.

I don't want to say anything. I know it wasn't even a few hours ago when he said that maybe one day… we could… I shudder as that thought crosses my mind.

Tobias looks even more concerned when I meet his eyes again and he sits next to me. I find the flask that I set on the floor is in reaching distance. I decide to put down the water and pick it up and take another swig. Be brave, Tris.

When I put the flask down again, I turn towards Tobias. I am nervous, but there's this wanting deep within me. I move towards him, fitting my mouth onto his. Tobias places his hand on my hip, and my hands are clutching at the front of his shirt. Our kisses draw deeper, more intense.

I take advantage of him sitting on the bed, and push at his chest. Tobias eyes flick open, and before he can say anything I kiss him. I cannot compete with his strength, but for some reason he allows me to push him down.

Just like in the train, I swing my leg over Tobias. I'm now sitting on top of him. I lean down and kiss him deeply.

"Tris…" Tobias says quietly, cautiously.

I don't want to say anything, for fear that my voice would betray my actions. I'm abruptly not sure of anything. But I lean down and kiss his lips again, and then I move down to his jaw, his neck. I grab more of his shirt, bringing it up so that I can see the Dauntless flames lining his side.

"Tris," Tobias says a little louder this time. I put a finger on his lips, of which he promptly kisses. I lift his shirt over his head. Tobias fingers finds the zipper to my jacket and starts unzipping it. When my shoulders are exposed the cold air makes me even more aware of the situation I'm in. Don't freeze, Tris. You've come this far. I think to myself.

Tobias hands find their way to the sensitive skin on my back, in between my pants and my shirt. His hand slowly traces up my spin, lifting the shirt in the meantime. His hand reaches my neck, and my shirt is bunched up so my stomach is now laying completely on his. The warmth and the safety I feel when I am pressed up against him. Our kisses grow hungrier. This desire I have for him is starting to become much more like a need.

Tobias pauses, and forced me to look into his eyes. "Are you okay with this? I don't want this to go too far…"

I try to shake my head, but I suddenly have this horrible feeling that something is wrong. The alcohol is coursing through my body, and as I try to kiss Tobias again, I miss his mouth and kiss his check. Tobias hands slip out of my shirt. His hands are back now on my hips.

"Tris, are you okay? Please answer me."

Something feels wrong, my eyes swim upwards and I see Fear God Alone on the wall. But the words seem to be moving. I stare at them for longer, confused at how the words would be moving.

"Tris, how much have you had to drink?" As Tobias asked he lifts one of my legs and moves my body to a seated position off of him.

"No, no… Tobias… I wanted to." The room continues to spin, but I reach towards him to try to recover what was lost.

Tobias sits up, still shirtless. "Tris, if we do this, then I want you to be able to remember it."

I know that I'm pouting, but I don't care. What does he mean that I wouldn't remember this? Then suddenly, I understand the horrible, wrong feeling that I have inside of me.

Tobias helps guide me to the bathroom.

Damn, well that didn't go as planned.