I've been here for a long time. Mortals come and go, enemies here and there but I never get involved. Why should I? What happens to them isn't my concern. For all I care, those Guardian dudes can go rot in hell. I've done so much crap for them, I've held off so many enemies that it's gotten so old. Now here I stand, waiting, waiting, waiting for something, someone, anyone to just look at me. I don't even know who I am anymore.
My best friend was killed by them. They claimed he was a threat to them, they wouldn't listen when I said I could keep him under control. They're too overprotective of the kids, and the kids are too dependent. It's impossible to get through life, to stop believing in these Guardians if they've been serving you all their lives, if they've been your entire childhood on a plate.
Darkness is the only thing I have left. I've tried speaking to the other spirits but they hate me, they think that I'm some traitor just because I was the only one who stood up for the Nightmare King. I've tried talking to the Guards, they never spoke to me. I was just some stupid little bug to them. I never talked to the Guardians anymore. All I was to them was just a backup partner, someone who overpowers all their enemies, all because I was the spirit of light and joy. How lame was that?
Light and joy? Really? You'd think that reminds you so much of them. I hate being me, I hate being more powerful than their enemies. I hate that they're all so weak. They don't train themselves at all. Just going with the flow doesn't do much for you. The only reason why I'm stronger is because I've been looking for new things to teach myself, I've been practicing my combat skills, I'm the one who's been training.
I hate the Guardians because they took away my only friend yet offered no one else in return. I'm stuck here as a young girl and Pitch is gone. He's never coming back. The universe is creating another Nightmare King for them to go against now, it can't be peace and harmony forever and we all know that.
As the thoughts buzzed around in my mind, I began to cry. I wanted Pitch. I wanted my best friend back. I wanted to tease him about wearing a dress even if it was a robe and then ask if he was wearing any pants just to see him glare at me and tell me that I shouldn't be asking things like that.
I haven't seen him in over a century.
"Hey, are you alright?" I knew that voice anywhere. It was the newest Guardian, that frosty guy. "I'm getting sick and tired of them all telling me to stay away from you, you know," he went on. "You're lonely. I've been in that spot before and the last thing I want is to force that feeling upon another spirit. So tell you what, I'll take you to the workshop and whether they like it or not, we're going to be friends."
I appreciated his efforts, really. But his friends, his buddies, I hated them just as much as they hated me. "I'm your enemy's best friend, what makes you think that I wouldn't hurt you?"
"You stayed out of the fight, I was aware of that. You didn't help us hurt him, sure, but you didn't help him hurt us. That's all that really matters to me." That was something I never thought I'd hear before. Not once had anyone ever said anything like that and as much as it warmed my non-beating heart, I had to decline.
Jack Frost was a Guardian. Those guys were definitely not my friends, no matter what.
"No thanks," I muttered, looking away from him. "I don't want to be around the people you call friends."
How long had it been since I've seen him? How long had it been since I've seen my best friend? Where was the new Nightmare King? Where was his power? I couldn't sense it at all. Was he even still being created?
I could feel my mind getting cloudy, my heart hurting even if it wasn't beating, my entire being beginning to boil. I wanted revenge. I wanted to slaughter all the Guardians, I wanted them to die for doing this to me, for taking away my companion, my partner, my best friend. I wanted to kill them for taking him away from me. I wanted them to know the pain I felt.
But I didn't want to kill Jack.
No, Jack was the only one who was nice to me. Everyone else shunned me, I hated them. With every atom of me, with every fiber of my soul, every spiritual essence in me, I wanted them dead, for real this time. For so long, for eight-nine centuries, I could barely remember, I've been alone. It had been so long and I wanted revenge. I felt my being get darker, I felt myself beginning to grow from light and joy to darkness and vengeance. I wanted to kill.
I wanted Pitch back. My friend, my best friend, I wanted him back here. I wanted to play pranks in the morning, to call him "Dad" in the night before I drift off to my dreamland, to have a family. They took him away.
Because they were cowards. They were so afraid of disappearing even when I swore I could keep him under control. And they killed him.
They let him die.
I want to slaughter them, all except for Jack. I want to do it, but I can't. I can't force such loneliness upon such a sweet spirit. It wouldn't be fair to him. Not at all. I can't torture them either, for it would only hurt him more. So despite my own dreadful desires, I keep my place, never leaving this area of the woods, the deepest, darkest parts, for his sake.
I don't love him. Love is disgusting. It gets you attached and once they're taken away, you feel like you're nothing. Lifelong loneliness has done so much. I didn't love my friend, not like that. But it was enough, to feel like I had a home, a family, someone I could depend on.
And they killed him.
They killed him.
I miss my friend. I want him back. Why did they let him die?
I can feel the hate and anger boiling within me but I can't let it turn me into a demon. I have to keep cool, stay calm and collected, I have to make sure that I don't put Jack through such pain. Not again. He doesn't deserve it.
It's been three thousand years. Children have come and gone and I still sit here in the woods, the darkest parts, and I still wait for the day my friend comes back. I've talked to Jack sometimes over the years but I haven't gotten close enough to be friends with him. The loneliness doesn't hurt as much anymore. Instead of a stabbing pain, it feels numbing, like I'm drowning and it's my final moment alive.
I've stopped caring about that stupid moon. I've stopped begging him to bring back my friend. Fear is still here, but it isn't strong enough for him to come back. It isn't strong enough for his power. It's been so long now. So long and I miss him so much. I miss my Dad, I miss my older brother, I miss them all. I used to scream and beg, yelling, "LET ME GO HOME!" It never worked. He never let me leave. He hates me too much. He wants to watch me suffer.
Jack has tried to coax me out of my shell, to try and get me to go and meet the guild. I didn't want to snap. I didn't want to hurt him or his family. As much as I hated them, destroying them would be painful for him. Having dealt with this for thousands of years, I know how hard it is. I'm jealous of him, really, but jealousy gets me nowhere and I don't want him to suffer as I have.
I fell asleep alone tonight, again. I had no dreams, again. I've wandered as far as I could, the thought of seeing the light actually scares me now. I've been so alone for so long in the dark. Thousands of years with no light can really hurt, and it does. I have been away from my element for so long but I can scarcely remember the words spoken to me before.
Don't forget the light. You can save me. You can save us.
I promised.
I promised Pitch I'd save him, that I'd bring him back to the light. Why have they done this to me? What have I done to them that has brought this punishment upon me? I've done what they've asked, I've helped them win their battles, why am I still being punished?
Please, MiM. Let me go home.
I want Dad.
I want my brother.
I want my family, my home, my best friend. I miss them.
What have I done to you?
It's been ten thousand years. I have a crick in my neck. Pitch isn't home yet. I feel like it's been forever since I've seen him. I can feel myself slipping away now. I can feel my power draining as I spend more time in the darkness. I've held on for too long and as soon as I let go, I'll disappear. I know I will. And when I do, I'll get to see Pitch again, right?
I've held myself back. I made sure that I left the guild alone. Jack forgot I ever existed. He's stopped visiting but I know he's alive. I've seen him around here and there but he's never stopped to talk anymore.
That's fine by me. I've been lonely for so long and he rarely ever visited me in the first place. A young man in black has been wandering around now. He looks just like Pitch. But I've been hallucinating, I know I have. He hasn't been here long enough for me to be able to confirm that it really is him.
But that no longer matters. Today is my last day. I can finally be free. I can finally go home.
And so I let go of everything and I watched, smiling as everything slowly began to disappear. As I rested on the ground, I heard someone running towards me, I felt someone pick me up and they were cold.
"Oh no, no no no no no no." The voice belonged to a male, it belonged to the youngest guild member that I knew; Jack. I could barely see it, but the darkness was slipping away from my grasp and soon the light washed over me, but my vision did not improve. "No, why isn't it working?!" I didn't speak, I hadn't spoken in a long time. It would have sounded strange to hear my voice, wouldn't it? "Kira, you have to hold on, please! Pitch is here, he's right here, he's looking for you! Don't close your eyes, keep them open, stay awake!"
Did he care about me, or did he care about Pitch? Was I the important one, or was I the pawn to keep the Nightmare King going? I didn't know, nor did I want to care. After so long, this was no longer worth the trouble, the pain, the desire to slaughter. I wasn't going to let myself stay. So against his words, I closed my eyes and the last thing I heard was someone screaming my name, and it wasn't Jack's voice.