Kirby and his friends finally reached ceremonial area of the Divine Terminus, and were greeted by Lord Hyness and the three mage generals. "Ah, I sense interlopers..." Lord Hyness murmurs as he turns around to see our four heroes running towards the inner sanctum. Kirby was joined by King Dedede, Meta Knight, and Bandana Waddle Dee. As they approached Hyness, he began to speak.
"You think you outsiders could just waltz on in here uninvited? Well, no matter for you are much too late to stop us now!"
Hyness pulled out a book and instructed his underlings to turn to page 32 and begin the ritual. They all began singing a rather beautiful quartet of Lesbian Seagull.
It wasn't until they had already finished the song that Hyness noticed they read from the wrong page. "NO! NO NO NO NONOONONO! YOU WORTHLESS FOOLS! YOU PERFORMED THE WRONG CHANT!"
Zan Partizanne spoke up,"B-but sire, you also sung the wrong chant with us…"
Hyness was about to pimp slap her when suddenly a portal opened above everyone, sucking them inside to parts unknown…
Mr. Van Driessen walked into his classroom, ready to begin teaching for the day. He started by taking attendance, sighing when Beavis and Butt-Head were absent from class yet again.
"It's a shame Beavis and Butt-Head will not be joining us today, because I have a special song to share with you all," he stated as he pulled out his guitar.
He began singing Lesbian Seagull, not stopping despite the obvious disinterest of his class. As he finished his song, he noticed it suddenly got a bit dark outside before brightening up again. He thought nothing of it as he continued with his class plans for the day.
Beavis and Butt-Head were making their way to school, late but still at least making the effort. As they were walking, the sky suddenly flashed and turned darker, almost as if it were nighttime.
"WOAH, check it out Butt-head, it got all dark," Beavis pointed out.
"Yeah, I think that means it's like, night or something. No school, uhuhuh. Let's go get some nachos instead," Butt-Head responded despite the fact that the regular daylight had returned.
Beavis was going to agree, but suddenly something soft fell on him. It wasn't big enough to hurt but it still knocked him to the ground.
"OW! KNOCK IT OFF BUTT-HEAD OR I'LL KICK YOUR ASS!" Beavis exclaimed before they both noticed the small, puffy, pink blob responsible for landing on Beavis laying in front of them.
Neither of them knew what it was, so they followed their natural instinct and kicked it. The little pink dude began to get up to the feeling of what he thought was a light breeze brushing against his soft body. He opened his eyes to the sight of two handsome young men kicking him relentlessly. Kirby smiled as he thought they were just playing with him and he got up on his stubby red feet.
"Uhuhuhuh, check it out Beavis, it's a ball," Butt-head said as he and Beavis began to chuckle at his witty observation of Kirby. Kirby didn't understand the implication of what they were saying, but saw that they were laughing and he started smiling and dancing around.
"This pink dude is pretty cool, Butt-head. He should come with us to get some nachos," Beavis suggested. Butt-head thought like-wise and the three of them began their trip to Maxi Mart.
A short chime played as the doors to Maxi Mart opened. The clerk at the desk was busy reading the articles in a Playboy magazine, but he looked up from the nudie mag to see Beavis, Butt-head, and some strange walking pink testicle step inside. He went back to his nudie mag, pretending not to see them. Beavis and Butt-head each grabbed themselves a carton of nachos, while Kirby drooled looking upon the fine Mexican cuisine laid out before him. They had nachos, burritos, taquitos, and the like. Without thinking, Kirby inhaled all of the food they had set out as well as some of the cooking equipment and swallowed it all in one big gulp.
"WHOA, that kicked ass," Butt-head proceeded to say in amazement.
"I told you Butt-head, this guy rules," Beavis replied.
"Actually Beavis, he sucks, uhuhuhuh," Butt-head said as he and Beavis began to laugh again. This gave them an idea. Beavis and Butt-head proceeded to go around the store eating all the chips and snacks they had on the shelves and Kirby joined in.
The cashier looked up from his special monkey photo magazine, to witness the usual suspects and a pink cream puff eating up everything in his store, including the non-edible stuff like Vagisil and ChapStick.
"HEY! WHAT IN SAM HELL DO YOU BOYS THINK YOU'RE DOING IN MY STORE?! I HOPE YOU PLAN ON PAYING FOR ALL OF THAT CRAP YOU JUST ATE!" the cashier screamed as he ran out from behind his counter to confront them.
"Don't worry sir, we have this covered," Butt-Head assured him.
"Yeah, we're rich," Beavis added as they both reached into their back pockets and pulled out what appeared to be crude cut-outs of photocopied dollar bills and quarters.
"This should take care of everything," Butt-head told the man as he slipped one of the shitty dollar bills into the cashier's shirt pocket
Butt-Head's action did nothing to diffuse the cashier's anger. "I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR YOUR SHIT AGAIN, BOYS! I'M GOING TO CALL THE POLICE!"
"Maybe this will change your mind…?" Beavis suggested as he dumped a handful of the badly cut out paper quarters into the front of the cashier's pants.
The cashier was absolutely livid and red in the face, gritting his teeth, seething in rage. He forcefully grabbed both of the boys by their shirt collars and held them up.
"I'M GONNA DO TO YOU SHITHEADS WHAT I SHOULD"VE DONE AGES AGO! I'M GONNA SHOVE MY FOOT SO FAR UP YOUR ASSES THAT MY TOES WILL BE KICKING OUT YOUR TEETH!" the cashier yelled, with drops of saliva landing on the boy's frightened faces.
Kirby did not take kindly to the rude man being a meanie to his new friends. He wasted no time in jumping up and kicking the cashier in the face to knock him away from the boys before inhaling him and swallowing him whole.
Kirby gained the Cashier ability, donning a snazzy nametag with his name on it and a deep rooted hatred for the general public.
Beavis and Butt-Head watched the events unfold in front of them in awe. Not only had their new buddy bailed them out, but he seemed to take on some qualities of the guy they just watched him eat.
"Hey, Butt-Head, he's got one of those nametag thingies on. Maybe we can learn what his name is," Beavis suggested after gesturing towards the nametag.
Butt-Head leaned forward to get a better view of what the nametag said. After slowly sounding out the letters, he came to a conclusion.
"Hey Beavis, I think his name is Kribee," Butt-Head stated.
Kirby shook his head and corrected him. Soon after he did that, he realized he now had the ability to open the cash register. He hopped over the counter and opened the register with a cha-ching.
"Hey Beavis, we're rich again," Butt-Head pointed out as they were busy shoveling all of the money into their pants. There was enough of it that some of the bills could be seen sticking out of the top of their pockets.
Beavis was shaking in excitement. "Imagine all the nachos and beer we could buy with this money! Maybe even a flamethrower! FFFIIIRRRREEEE! FFFIIIRREEE!"
They walked out of the store satisfied, but were soon met by Todd in the parking lot. Todd took immediate notice of all the money sticking out of the boys' shorts pockets.
"Hey, you ladies want to share some of that dough?" Todd asked, taking a threatening step towards them.
"Uhhh, no, we stole this money first," said Butt-Head unflinchingly.
"Yeah, we're going to use it to start our own gang, with lots of nachos and naked chicks! And beer! But uhhh, you could join our gang if you want," Beavis added.
Todd grabbed both of them in a chokehold and pressed them against the windows of Maxi-Mart. "That's a shame, because I'm just going to take that money from you girls anyway."
Todd looked down and noticed a third being that was with the boys. "What's this lumpy little turd you wusses have with you?"
Kirby was slow to anger, but this strange being posed a threat to his new friends and insulted him. He shot a death glare at Todd, who was unreceptive to it.
"Aww, is the lumpy little turd gonna shit himself?" Todd taunted. Unfortunately, this last quip sealed his fate. Todd could barely react before he was punched hard to the ground. For the first time in his life, Todd felt true pain. A single tear ran down his chiseled features as he laid on the ground in the fetal position, clutching his gut.
The tear did not escape Beavis and Butt-Head's notice. They immediately began laughing at his expense. "Uhuhuh, you're crying. What a wuss," Butt-Head spoke down to Todd.
Beavis never thought they could have said those things about Todd. He was so cool. Todd ignored them, instead focusing on the pink lumpy little asshole he had dismissed just a few moments ago.
"What the hell, man?" Todd whined between teeth clenched in pain and fear. "You would make a cool addition for my gang, but pink is not our gang's color…"
Todd's girlfriend Gina had stepped out of the car after seeing Todd hit the ground. She was debating if she should make fun of him for going down after one hit, and to a round pink marshmallow man no less.
Kirby cut to the chase and had already discarded the cashier ability. He inhaled and swallowed Todd, gaining the Todd ability. He looked pretty stylish in the sunglasses and torn denim jacket.
Beavis and Butt-Head stared with their jaws dropped. "That was cool, right Butt-Head?" Beavis asked.
"Yeah, I think so," Butt-Head agreed. "Maybe he is cooler than Todd now."
"I dunno Butt-Head, that'd have to be pretty cool. But he does look a lot like Todd now," Beavis pondered.
"Kirby hasn't cried yet, so he's cooler than Todd now," Butt-Head wisely pointed out.
The boys were so busy in their discussion that they didn't notice that Kirby was locking lips with Todd's girlfriend.
"Oooh, you are better than Todd," moaned Gina after sharing spit with Kirby. They also shared some of the things Kirby had eaten earlier, like gas station hot dogs and Vagisil. She had a craving to watch Nascar after drinking some of the regurgitated Vagisil, and suggested they take a ride in Todd's car.
Kirby hopped up in the driver's seat of Todd's 1973 Plymouth Duster, with Gina in the passenger seat. Beavis and Butt-Head joined in the back seats, excited at the first time to ride in this car outside of the trunk. Kirby cracked open and slammed back an ice-cold Jack Daniels and revved the engine.
Beavis and Butthead chugged some non-alcoholic beer they found in the gas station, though they were unaware the beer lacked alcohol.
A burnt out flickering light-bulb appeared next to Butt-head's head. "That butt-munch Stewart still owes us porn. Let's like, uh, pay him a visit, and Kirby can like, kick his ass if he doesn't pay up. That'll be cool, uhuhuh." Butt-head cracked open another can of non-alcoholic beer. The party agreed and sped off for Stewart's house, but not before doing some wicked-sick donuts in the Maxi-Mart parking lot.