A/N: heavily inspired by Tom Wait's songs 'Hold On' and especially 'If I Have to Go'

She met him at the park swings at midnight, just like she promised. They swayed in silence next to each other for a few heartbeats, unsure of just what to say. He lit a cigarette and passed it to her before lighting another for himself.

"Shouldn't you be sleeping?" She interjected, breaking the silence between them. "I know you ship out pretty early in the morning."

He said nothing, but noticed her skin prickling in the crisp night air. He shrugged out of his jean jacket and passed it to her. She accepted it without pause and slid her arms into it, instantly being swallowed up in it's larger size.

"I still wish you would go with me." He said sadly, watching her feet kick in the sand as she made another swing. "I've got enough for a little apartment in the city. It'll be small, but we can make it home until I get out of academy."

She sighed heavily, her breath making a small cloud in the cold air. "There's nothing out there in the big city for me, Jimmy."

"Yes there is. Me," He retorted, stopping short on his swing to look over at her.

She swung higher and blocked out her view of the moon with the toe of her sneaker.

"I'll take a part time job while I'm in academy. Joyce, we can work this out. You just have to take this first step with me."

"I just don't know, Jimmy. You're talking about settling down and I don't know if I'm ready for all of that."

"I'm talking about moving in together. If things fall apart Hawkins will always be here. And you know as well as I do that it'll stay the same."

"I want to live some before I settle down, ya know? I wanna travel some. I'm just not ready to start being an adult, ya know? You're on a fast track to being Hop the cop and I don't know if I'm ready to be chained to a place like that.

Silence fell between them once more as they both nursed their cigarettes and swung in the darkness. "Will you remember me?" He asked sadly, kicking at the sand.

"Of course."

"I'll make it in the city. You'll see. And I'll come back for you. When I have a nice place and nice cars and all the things you deserve. Will you wait for me, Joyce?"

Her big brown eyes traveled over to him. "That's unfair. You know I can't promise that."

"There's someone else, isn't there?"

Her eyes widened with surprise at his question. "No! That's just an unfair thing to push on someone, Jimmy. I can't promise that. Our lives are taking different paths, that's all. Growing apart."

.

He slid from the swing and stood upright, tucking his hands into his jeans pockets and keeping his back to her. "Am I that easy to let go of?" He asked, his voice barely above a whisper. He heard the crunch of her shoes as she stood up too, stomping out her cigarette and wrapped her arms around his middle, her cold face pressed against his back.

"No. This isn't easy for me either, you know? I love you, Jim Hopper."

"Then come with me!" He fumed, his muscles tensing against her. Her felt her balled up fists against his back. With no force behind them they were merely a gesture of her frustration.

"Why don't you come with me? Let's leave right now, set off for California!"

"You know I can't do that." He said flatly. "Seems like we're at an impasse." He added, flicking his cigarette to the ground and stomping it out with his boot.

He turned to her and took her cold hands in his. "You always make things so damn hard, Joyce. There was a time that it was kinda thrilling. I had to fight so hard to get your affection. Now it seems like you just won't let me fight to keep you."

She looked down at their shoes, worrying her bottom lip between her teeth.

"I was going to ask you to marry me. Once we moved out of this shit hole and I graduated academy. I didn't figure you were so appalled at the idea of a white picket fence and children."

"I'm not against it! I'm just not ready for it." Tears welled up in her eyes and he wiped them away with his thumbs, framing her small face with his big hands.

"I understand. I think. You take that California trip-" He offered, resting his forehead against hers. "I'm coming back in a few years. And if you're ready, I'm taking you back with me."

He curled a ringlet of her hair, which she wore in a loose fishtail braid to her waist, between his fingers absent-mindedly. "Don't wear your hair like this till I come back, okay?" He teased, leaning forward to kiss her cheek. "Save your braids just for me."

.

In the morning she met him at his house. "Sorry, I wore it home." She explained, shrugging out of his jacket and offering it to him.

"Keep it." He said, pushing it back to her as he tossed his bag into the backseat of his old beater. He leaned back against the car then, pulling her closer by the hips.

"One last offer. Come with me." She shook her head.

"I can't." With a sad look he nodded. "I love you, Joyce."

"I love you too."

And with that he kissed her goodbye. Long, slow, and sweet. "I'm coming back for you." He promised and she nodded as he climbed into the drivers seat.

She stood in his driveway and watched him leave. With her hands tucked into the sleeves of his coat, she wiped away the tears that were threatening to fall.

.

Later that day she cut her hair to shoulder length and would never wear it in braids again.

A year later he caught word in the city. Joyce was expecting her first child any day now. A little boy. With that Byers kid, Lonnie. He guessed she never took her trip to California. Jim buried his heartbreak in the bottom of any bottle he could find until she walked into the coffee shop and into his life one day. Diane. A tall, blonde knockout. The exact opposite of everything Joyce was.

Joyce had another son, he heard it through the grapevine.

Diane shared his bed so eventually he shared his name. She was perfectly fine with a ring and a white picket fence.

Then Sarah came and his life changed.

Then Sarah passed away and his life changed again.

Then Diane slipped through his fingers as easily as she had slipped into them.