Here's one that popped into my head last night and I had to write it down. I hope you like this one. Gregg.
Disclaimer: I don't own, or profit from, these characters or franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
"She's kidding!" Booth exclaimed as he held the neatly printed out stack of papers that Bones had couriered to him a few minutes ago. He read the hand written note accompanying them again to make sure he wasn't hallucinating.
Booth,
As we discussed, here are the list of questions I have regarding the Mass I attended with you the day before yesterday. I hope that this isn't too many, but you did promise that any questions I may have I could write them down and you would answer them. While I had more, I decided to leave some for later as 1,800 seemed a reasonable number of questions for now. Thanks,
Bones
PS~ Don't even think of reneging on your promise. If you do, then you will not be sharing my bed for at least a month. Think about it, Booth. A month of no sex after the last month of our new relationship of nightly sex.
PPS~ If you finish with these questions by Saturday I may be convinced to try on and model my new Wonder Woman lingerie. (Is that incentive enough for you?)
"How in the name of all that's Holy does someone get 1,800 questions from one Mass?" he asked incredulously.
"Problems, Boss?" his best subordinate asked from the doorway.
"Oh, yeah," Booth replied. "I agreed to take Bones to Mass with me last Sunday and she comes up with 1,800 questions for me," he said holding up the stack of paper with the questions.
Charlie whistled in amazement. "How can someone get so many questions from one church service?" he asked.
Booth started skimming the questions and groaned. "Jesus," he exhaled. "She's even asking about any possible architectural significance to the confessionals! How the Hell am I supposed to know that kind of shit?"
"Ask your Priest," Charlie suggested with a shrug.
"Hell no!" Booth said firmly. "He already thinks I'm a pervert for confessing all sorts of impure thoughts about Bones the last few years, and especially the last month now that we're together! I bring up this kind of stuff and he'll be liable to label me a Modernist, or some other form of modern day heretic, and get my ass excommunicated."
"Then why'd you take her to Mass?" Charlie asked. "And why would you confess to impure thoughts? I thought it was covetousness that was the sin, not thoughts."
"Because I was coveting Bones, Nimrod," Booth groused. "Every freaking day, all day long, and into the night."
"You are a pervert," Charlie laughed good naturedly.
"How would you like to be volunteered for the refresher course on Arctic winter survival, huh?" Booth asked, a dangerous glint in his eyes.
"You're a Saint, Boss, a paragon of virtue," Charlie said and then hightailed it out of there. No way was he going to risk having to spend two weeks in an igloo eating blubber. Once was bad enough.
Booth leaned back in his chair and thought about how Bones had convinced him to take her to Mass. Let's see. Booth in bed with a shit eating grin on his face after a night of absolutely mind blowing sex with Bones. Booth naked. Bones comes out of the bathroom. Bones naked. Bones climbing into bed. Bones grabbing onto Junior. Junior stands tall and proud. Bones plays a little. Bones asks if she can go to Mass that morning. Booth, not giving a damn about anything right then, saying yes multiple times as she gives Junior the handjob of a lifetime. Bones kissing him and thanking him for allowing her to go to Mass. Bones jumping up and rushing to the closet to find the appropriate dress suit to wear. Booth laying there stunned and praying that he not get excommunicated for being weak in the face of unbelievable sexual pleasure. Yep. Bones had played him like a violin virtuoso.
Booth leaned forward and picked up his cell phone and punched 1 on the speed dial. She picked up after one ring.
"Hi," she said with a sexy voice.
"1,800 questions?" Booth immediately screeched. "How the Hell does anyone get that many questions in one Mass?"
"You said any questions I have, Booth," she reminded him logically.
"I know, Bones, but 1,800? There are some in here I have no idea about!" he told her.
"Well, leave those blank and I can ask your Priest to fill in the gaps in my knowledge," she compromised.
"Hell No!" Booth blurted instantly. "I don't want you anywhere near Father Mitch. You start asking questions and I'll be excommunicated!"
"Then I guess you'll be doing some research, won't you?" she teased with some genuine amusement. "Just remember your reward I mentioned in the note Major Trevor," she reminded him.
"You'll have all your answers bright and early Saturday morning, Yeoman Prince," he said in a husky voice as he pictured Bones in the Wonder Woman lingerie. Junior was definitely in the drivers seat this time. A little Wonder Woman role playing never hurt anyone. Right? Right!
"Pick me up for lunch and I'll give you a sample of what an alter ego can do for her man," Bones said as she hung up the phone.
Booth snapped the phone shut and rushed out of the building. He wasn't about to miss out on this! And as for those damn questions? A promise is a promise! Especially if a day and night with a sex Goddess in Wonder Woman lingerie was the result!
A/N: I know it was short, but I wanted to do a short humorous one while I work on the others I am preparing updates for. I hope you enjoyed it. Gregg.