One Night...One Lifetime
Note: I had a strange dream, so this is what it is inspired from. Warning, if you are a little sensitive to graphic sexual content...then I would advise you step away. My previous writing projects in have long intros that have yet to get to any of these forms of content. But this one is a one shot-three chapter thing between Squall and Quistis. Enjoy.
Squall leaned against the railing of Balamb garden, looking to the night skies as he gave a slight sigh. His eyes closing for a moment as he reflected over the passed few years.
There just seemed to be nothing to do anymore, between SeeD tests, sparring and trying to take on the task of teaching the new generation of members. Things have just become droll, uneventful and worse of all...predictable. He enjoyed it for the first two years, but then he realized that he had been going out into the wilds more often, he had been trying to fill a hole in himself. The hole he missed, surprisingly enough was the need for adventure and excitement.
'How strange.' Squall thought to himself.
"Instructor Lionhart." a soft voice proclaimed.
'Oh no.' He thought.
"What is it, Quistis?" He glanced over his shoulder.
She covered her lips lightly with the back of her hand, trying to hide a smile, he guessed that she was trying to be more professional.
"Why must you always scuttle away from any party that the garden has?" she wondered.
"Never shared an interest." he replied in a monotone manner.
"You're an instructor now though. Your students will want to see you." Quistis smiled.
"You convinced me to become one." Squall reminded. "Besides, I think the students have more things to do then pester their instructor on the night of a party." Squall frowned.
The night breeze was cold, causing the blonde instructor to rub her arms as she looked towards the direction of the breeze and then back to Squall, he seemed so lonely. She could not help but feel for him, that caused her to she give a small caring smile. Rinoa had been spending a lot of time at the Trabia garden, recently they had suffered an attack from a swarm of creatures that escaped their training facility and requested for aid. Rinoa, Selphie, Irvine and a few other SeeD's where sent to reinforce and reorganize the Garden. Unfortunately, Squall could not abandon his duties as an instructor and was forced to stay. That was eight days ago that they left and they still had not returned, but Cid reassured everyone that there have been no further casualties from the incident and that other troubles is delaying the team.
Quistis has been trying her best to reconcile the lonely instructor, while at the same time fighting her own feelings. Years ago she had convinced herself that her feelings for Squall were just that of an elder sister role, but recently, seeing the man that Squall had become today was stirring the pot and she found herself fascinated and enthralled once more. Squall was proving to be a siren that she could not escape, no matter how many meaningless relationships she tried to involve herself in.
"Oh come now, Squall." Quistis teased. "You cannot tell me that there aren't any feminine students that would absolutely die to share one dance with you." she gave a light giggle.
"Whatever." Squall sighed out, annoyed.
"Don't whatever me, Instructor Lionhart." Quistis poked. "When I was an Instructor, I was practically smitten by you. Though I have no idea why." Quistis jabbed playfully.
"We're all entitled to our own mistakes." he replied, somewhat coldly.
A huff came from the lips of the woman; which was quickly followed by a light jab into the side of the, seemingly, grumpy young man.
In a teasing tone, she responded, "Why so gloomy all of the sudden? This is not like you...this is like," she hesitated for a moment. "This is like the old you." she decided to just be forward.
The predictable silence dominated the air between the two instructors, Quistis let out an agitated sigh as she turned on her heel, tired of looking at his back, she walked back towards the party.
"Quistis." Squall inquired.
Her heart skipped a beat for a moment, would he open up to her now? She had to stay and at least find out what it was that he wished to say.
"What is it, Squall?" She asked, keeping her back turned.
"Why did you insist that I become an instructor, knowing how I am?"
Quistis blinked once as she turned around to face the man, his forearms were still on the side of the railing as he continued to look out to the night sky. She tugged lightly on her uniform as she closed the distance between herself and the gloomy man, standing beside him as she laced her fingers around the top of the railing and once more let out a soft sigh.
"I have faith in you, Squall. Headmaster Cid has the same faith in you. You ran this entire Garden at one time, during a time of war and utter chaos. You have shown what you are capable of and I want you to keep proving it. You're wonderful man, Squall...I just-" she started.
"Shut up." he uttered weakly.
The words cut through her like a razor as she let her blue eyes fall to her boots, tapping her foot very lightly, not making a sound at all...just mostly out of shame and fear that she had said too much.
"I don't want to be depended on anymore." Squall confessed.
"What do you want then, Squall." Quistis wondered.
"I...I don't know anymore." Squall sighed.
The image of Squall being so down actually physically hurt the blonde haired instructor as she slowly looked back up to him. This was one of the few times that the man was actually meaningfully confiding in her.
"What can I do for you?" she asked solemnly.
"What can you do?" Squall was quick to reply.
Quistis had to think about that one for a moment, she had offered the aid and had not expected to have it questioned as such. But she also had to remember who she was speaking to here. Squall was not the average man, proving to be far more mysterious, dark and seclusive. He had improved over the time that he had been with Rinoa and she had honestly opened up his dark world to the light. But not enough for her own liking, she wanted to know more about this man. The sides that only Rinoa would know. It was like she was given a teasing peak at how Squall could be like, but never a clear enough look.
"Anything I can?" Quistis replied in more of a question, uncertain.
"Forget it." Squall responded.
"I mean it." she insisted.
She saw the look on his face, or at least from the side that she could see of him, he was just about to give up and retire. She had spent many years getting to know his every expression, every sound, tone and even body language as she had demonstrated before.
She had to think fast.
He would not accept anything too personal, or even too invasive and she knew it. But she would not let him just walk off, it would weight on her mind too much. Things were bothering him and he needed something to distract him from that.
'Distraction.' she pondered.
Without another word, the bothered young man started to make his way out. Guess he would brave the party to get back to his dorm. Quistis' mind raced as she thought of that word over and over again in her mind.
'Distraction.'
"Squall wait!" Quistis suddenly exclaimed.
His boots stopped as he placed a hand on his hip and looked over his shoulder, a frown on his face as glanced over at her with his blue eye.
"What do you want now?" he asked coldly.
'That certainly sounds like the old Squall.' she quickly thought.
She felt her nerves get rattled by the cold tone.
A mind frozen, was forced to rush through her memories as quickly as possible before they rested on what he normally did with his free time. He spared with Zell and went to the training center, at least he used to before he got transferred to Galbadia to answer a call. It hit her then on what she could try and offer him, just to keep him close to her a little while longer.
"Training." she suddenly said, fearing he was losing interest in waiting for her to answer.
"What?" he asked confused.
"Tomorrow, we should train." she managed to calm herself.
"Why?" Squall wondered.
She did not want to say the real reason why she wanted him to come with he, nor did she want to say it was to keep his mind preoccupied or try to cheer up, thinking he might take it wrong from her and just leave.
"Well." she started, but she was losing it.
'Oh...if only I was his instructor. Then I could just order him or something!' she screamed at herself, seeing Squall turn his head again to start a walk forward. 'Shit...do something! QUISTIS!' she screamed from deep inside.
"Whatever." Squall remarked.
'WAKE UP!' her mind screamed.
"Squall. Stop." she finally got out.
She watched as his foot steps faltered and he half turned to look at her, one eye brow cocked in a form of confusion, as if making sure he heard correctly.
"What now?" Squall responded firmly.
A small fire built within her, a fire she never felt before in her years as an instructor. The fire of authority coursed through her body as she felt pent up aggression start to leak out, figuratively.
"Don't what me, Lionhart." Quistis firmed. She stepped forward, doing everything by pure instinct alone. She found her slender fingers grabbing the shoulder frames and pulling him closer to her in a more aggressive manner then even she expected. "Training center. Tomorrow. You got it?" she ordered.
"What the hell is-" Squall started.
"Got it?" she insisted firmly.
Her eyes locked with his as they had a moment of a stare down, his eyes searching hers. But she actually kind of liked how she was acting right now, like taking the lock off a caged beast. She tightened her grip around the shoulder decorations of his formal SeeD uniform.
"Here is where you say yes and walk away." she demanded.
Being this close to him, she could catch his scent, it was hard to discribe...but it did mix very well with the crisp ocean air of the night time. She could not let herself get distracted with that just yet. She focused on maintaining her stern and authoritative gazing blue orbs on the man. She felt her heart race under the calm exterior she produced, nervous how Squall might actually take this.
"Fine." Squall uttered.
'What?' Quistis asked herself in her head.
"Good. Then go back to your dorm and get some rest." she nodded, slowly releasing his uniform, sliding her fingers along the shoulder decorations to straighten out any bends she may have put in them.
"Quistis, what has come over you?" Squall confronted.
"Squall...Dorm." she insisted.
"I expect answers tomorrow."
Quistis gave a sly smirk, gesturing over the young man's shoulder. She wanted the man off the balcony and out of sight before the breath in her chest burst.
Squall hesitated, eying the young blonde before turning on his heel and leaving the demanding Quistis behind. She felt her legs start to turn to jelly, her body falling back against the railing and causing the nerve wrecked instructor to grip the railings.
"Squall is right...what was that?" she whispered.
It bewildered her at first, but the more she thought about it and let the scene replay in her mind, the more she liked this sudden unpredicted side to herself. She was in more control of the situation and feeling less like a helpless bystander like she had felt in the past. Maybe there was some hope for her yet as a reinstated instructor.
Quistis was quick to leave the party as well, heading back to her own dorm before she let it hit her completely on what she did and risk suffering a back lashing nervous break down. She slipped into her dorm and almost slamming the door behind her, placing her fingers along the lock and sliding it into place. Her body trembled as she leaned against the door, she still had to recall back on memory, she had to confirm that everything that she just did, actually happened. She just demanded that Squall meet her at the training center tomorrow and he actually complied with her. Maybe even after all these years, she still held that grip of being his instructor in his mind and she had always been able to command him, she just needed the courage to do so.
But that was not going to be something that she would think too deeply into, what mattered is he listened to her and she hoped that he would do as ordered and meet with her tomorrow. The very tension of the situation she created was enough to make the SeeD uniform unbearably warm. Did she leave the heat on in her room? It certainly felt that way as her hand came up to loosen the tie around her neck. She was burning up, boiling and even making breathing that much more difficult, where was all the air in her room? Why is it that even the subtle ticking of the clock, on her nightstand, sound like thundering bangs in the otherwise silent room? Pulling her tie off, she tossed it to the side and scampered over to her bathroom, shoving the glass door open to access her stand-in shower and twisting the knob to make the glass chamber produce clean, refreshing water. She did not even wait, she just stepped right in, uniform, boots, glasses and all became a target to the falling water. A gasp echoed in the bathroom as she let the cold water snap her world back to reality, she had done this a few times over her career as an instructor and it worked every time.
After letting the chilling water hit her body for a few moments, she reached down to twist the other knob, now the hot water would start meshing with the cold and make it pleasantly warm. But that would take a minute or two. Stepping out of the shower, the young blonde slide the glasses from her face and looked at the wet lenses. Giving a small smile she placed the frames on the counter. Finding the buttons of her jacket always proved to be a minor hassle, the way the uniform was designed to hide the buttons made pictures more appealing, but putting the garments on and taking them off were needlessly taxing. Her nails were not helping the situation either as she fumbled with the buttons and their smooth, pearl like surface. Finally the jacket was allowed the hit the ground as she felt the sudden sensation of the air against her wet skin. Pulling down the zipper on the right side of her hip allowed the skirt to fall to the ground as she stepped out of them and walked over to sit on her toilet, lifting her right leg she unzipped the tall formal boots and kicked them off to the ground, repeating the action with her left boot so she would be freed of all formal wear, left with nothing but her form fitting black muscle shirt and faint pink shaded lingerie. Steam was the alarm clock to Quistis that her shower was ready and waiting for her to join the welcoming warmth.
The last two articles she wore finally joined the rest on the floor as she stepped into the shoulder and felt her heart beat, almost painfully, in her chest as the shock of such heated water hit her form. It was something she found herself desperately needing right now. It was times like this, that allowed her to reflect on her past.
Such a senseless life she had led since the fall of Ultimecia and the victory of Garden and it's SeeD's. Quistis had been spending months trying to find a place were she belonged and fought hard to reclaim her lost title of Instructor, given a second chance after convincing Cid that her experiences gave her the leadership traits that he looked for and since then she had tried to focus her life around proving herself capable, barely passing as acceptable. She had tried to enter many relationships and find that missing part of her, she could never commit herself to the ones she did date...it always ended up becoming just a professional couple then a budding relationship with the men. Many men tried to bed her though, none had been successful. Quistis just came to terms with the fact that maybe she was just that messed up, her life growing up as a SeeD, becoming the youngest woman to become a SeeD and the youngest Instructor ever in any Garden had ruined her ability to associate with anyone outside the system. She also realized only recently that everyone she was dating, she was comparing to Squall. Would they go through the same extremes that he went through to save Rinoa? Did they care about her the way he did about Rinoa? Can she even see herself being with this man for the rest of her life? Many other questions came to mind when she considered a man and if any of those questions flagged an answer of 'No', then she unintentionally set her own relationship to fail by pushing them away.
"God I am so messed up." Quistis uttered in a whisper as she breathed out.
Her life somehow, still revolved around that brown haired, blue eyed man and she did nothing to stop herself from letting it become so. Since she was a child she looked after him, during SeeD training, she wanted to protect him from harm and keep him close, her feelings meshed into a deranged sense of love for the man that she stubbornly tried to hide, but found herself leaking at the seams and letting it become known in subtle manners. She went out of her way to personally see to it, that Squall succeeded, even if it cost her everything. She was not too upset to losing her title as instructor, cause in her messed up mind, she thought maybe that meant she could go on missions with him.
"Squall...Squall...Squall..." she nagged to herself.
How did her entire existence become his to control? Without him, she probably would not know what to do. Now she managed to convince him some time ago to try and become an instructor with her, she encouraged and somewhat manipulated Cid to get him to accept Squall and had to basically twist Squall's arm to get the loner to accept. Once again, her twisted little mind wanted to keep the man close to her, even though he was with Rinoa.
One thing she had to look forward to, was that she managed to get him to agree to spend some quality time with her. Even though it was just training in the Garden, but it was more then he would have willingly accepted to spend with her. Not that Squall avoided her or anything, in fact he would actually come up to her and try to start casual conversation. It was her that was messed up, she would find half excuses to leave before her fluttering heart gave her a panic attack. But now she had it, Squall and herself, alone and without any chance of interruption from the others of the group. Maybe alone she would be able to find closure, something her heart needed right now to move on, or she might find herself in a worse situation.
"Oh what could be worse then this?" she shook her head, gliding her hands over her body to spread the foaming soap over her figure.
She gave a sigh, trying to forget her nagging thoughts. Just when she thought that she could put her racing mind behind her. The feel of firm masculine hands cupped her soapy breasts from behind as she gave a sudden gasp, her blue orbs shooting open so she could look over her shoulder. But her shock could not compare to the sight that had awaited her.
"Sq-Squall?" she uttered weakly, her face flushing instantly.
"Shh." he urged.
Her throat tightened, like it was obeying his commands. His strong hands squeezed her soaked breasts, earning him a whimper from her lips as she clenched her jaw. Never had such a touch sent her body on fire, her nerves trembling and her mind racing. He was here, in the shower with her and his hands were igniting a sensation in her body that she never thought possible. She never dreamed of feeling so wildly emotional...in all the right ways and no writer had ever been skilled enough to put into words, what was flushing through her body, mind and soul all at once. All the romance novels she had, tucked away in her nightstand, could not ever touch what she was feeling. A lust, born of a lifetime of sexual tension was exploding from her as she almost became limp in his firm grasp. Such a seemingly minor affectionate act was sending her down a whirlpool.
The water, it was searing her skin now. Not cause the water was too hot, her skin had become a slave and victim to his touch, becoming acutely sensitive as she gritted her teeth. She did not want to moan, she had to fight the urge. But such a powerful urge was too much to fight for long.
"My god." she whispered.
His hands slide along the soapy surface of her breasts, one hand sliding down her stomach slowly as the foam only added to the smooth caress of his touch as he leaned forward and breathed directly into her, causing her blood to jolt as she gasped in need. One moment she was commanding him to do what she wanted, now he was making her a slave from one simple touch. His touch tainted her body, but not in a way that she minded, just in a way that confirmed what she always thought...she was and forever would be his.
To do with what he pleased, when he needed.
His left hand slide down her stomach, spreading his fingers over the surface as he pulled her close to his body. Welcoming the soapy form to claim his own, slowly his body seemed to slide along the back of hers. She could not fight it anymore, this was too much...her shower echoed a lusty moan, the first one she ever let escape her lips at the hands of another man. At the sound of her moan, his hand pressed harder against her stomach, but not enough to cause discomfort.
"You want everyone to know?" he whispered.
Her blue eyes opened slowly as she looked over her shoulder, up to the devilishly handsome man while lifting a wet hand up towards him and placing it against his dry cheek, his head was above the level of her shower head. Her eyes were glazed over, she did not care if the entire Garden heard her right now. She was reacting in a way she could not, nor ever wanted to control...not with him.
"I don't care...I earned this moment." she replied.
Those eyes she saw, they were pained, lonely but also mixed with his own content at this moment. Such deep, meaningful and conflicted eyes only added to his dark charm as she pulled his cheek lightly towards her face, sealing his warm lips with her own. A shiver ran through her body as her lips touched, she never thought she would be able to kiss these lips ever. They previously belonged to Rinoa, she knew she should feel awful for stealing them from a friend, but for this moment...those lips and the person they belonged to were hers.
A tear trickled down her face, not that anyone would notice with the rain of water hitting her body, and for that she was grateful as she captured this moment of bliss.
The hand that rested on her stomach shifted lightly, as if hesitate. But Quistis was beyond that, the zone she was in, she wanted to feel him and in fact, needed him to explore his woman. She placed her hand over his, lacing her fingers into his as she nipped at his bottom lip. She slowly guided his hand lower on her body, slowly sliding it down along her skin as she felt her heart pound wildly the closer his fingers got. Her eyes shut tight as she whimpered, high pitched but somehow still weak sounding, pleading. Her breath held as she felt his index finger slide slowly along her skin, he was now guiding himself as well, which was good. Her wrecked nerves were rebelling against her as her muscles became weak, unable to guide him anymore. She bit down hard on his lower lip as he edged ever so closer. The seconds became eternity as she waited for him to complete his movements, so she could feel his fingers grace her once forbidden grounds. The water...was just so hot. Her heart, pounded so painfully in wait. Her breath stilled, suffocating her as she trembled against him. It was too much, her world was blackening, her body was losing strength.
She needed him...now.
A scream filled the air as Quistis fell to the shower floor, her breath wild as her eyes shot wide, almost scared as she tried to grasp what was happening. She looked above.
No Squall.
Her eyes darted around her surroundings, realizing that sometime during her shower. The warm water actually hypnotized her and placed her in a day dreaming trace.
"Oh...God." She uttered in a flustered tone.
Her heart still pounded hard, her blood was still rushing and the water was still too hot against her frustrated body as her mind played it's own games on her. It felt so real, she could swear she could still taste his lips, feel his hands on her body and his body against hers. It was all so real.
But she agitated herself, realizing it was just a extremely vivid dream.
One that only made her realize even more, how hopelessly lost she was and that in her dream, she had already handed herself over to Squall. Willing to be his completely. Now she would have to meet him tomorrow after a dramatic experience like that.
Her nerves jolted as she felt a sting of fear. She could not meet him now, not after the revelation she just had. She would need to stand him up. She had to.
She placed a hand to her forehead, pushing aside the soaked blonde bangs as she looked down at the drain. Her body still trembled, more out of the sensation she believed was real over the fear. The sensation was lingering, too powerful for the fear to overcome...yet.
"I'm...in serious trouble." she whimpered.
She continued to sit in the shower in thought, letting the water rain down on her.